Rivers was there as the entertainment as the Citrus Council saluted "Women of Distinction." But Joan evidently didn't distinguish herself with some attendees at the Wednesday night function at Rosen Centre Hotel. We hear that she dropped the f-bomb frequently, called women "whores" repeatedly and sounded off on what the Girls Scouts didn't teach girls.

Rivers cited Paris Hilton, who didn't earn the "wearing panties patch."

While we doubt that Hilton picked up that particular quirk from a stint in the Brownies, we do wonder what it is about famous seventy-somethings who feel compelled to keep dragging Paris Hilton back into the spotlight. People, "she's out of town not bothering anybody, thank God!" As for Joan Rivers, we eagerly look forward to her next bit of uncensored trash talk, delivered from atop the twisty slide of a McDonald's PlayPlace in Needles, California.

• Joan Rivers' insults astound, amuse at fund-raiser for Girl Scouts [Orlando Sentinel]

We're not sure where this puts the original project we'd privately cherished a few months ago, but you won't hear us tell you the world isn't big enough for a pair of Smurfs films — especially something blending live-action, animation and such unadulterated corporate dorkdom:

Smurfs marks SPA's first hybrid film — a subgenre that proved popular given the success of 20th Century Fox's Alvin and the Chipmunks. ... [Sony Pictures Entertainment] digital production prexy Bob Osher said the studio plans to rely on SPA for the film's character animation, and Imageworks — which was recently taken off the sale block — for its visual effects.

"The Smurfs are one of the best-known franchises, and among the most beloved collection of characters in the world," Columbia co-president Doug Belgrad said. "We're very excited to introduce a new generation to Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the other smurftastic Smurfs in all of their 'three-apple-tall' glory."

Columbia and Sony are negotiating with Shrek 2/3 screenwriters David Stem and David Weiss for a script introducing a new Mushroom Village to our complex times — perhaps not narratively or with regard to the creatues' notorious asexuality, but rather as the highly charged battleground where Chris Rock, George Lopez, Cheech Marin and the rest of Hollywood's multi-ethnic voice-talent A-list further confound expectations over what a Smurf actually is.

• Col, SPA send 'Smurfs' to bigscreen [Variety]