“I'm not as disciplined about it was I once was, but I hope to find my way back as I get older and a little less selfish...I'm ashamed to say that I've just got very lazy about it. I satisfy my vices instead of fighting them.”

And this is certainly not the first time Hollywood Public Enemy Heigl has spoken out about her “support” of the Church. A colorful collection of quotes she’s given throughout the years on the Mormon religion, after the jump:

On Her Mostly Mormon Friends:
USA Today, 2007:

"I haven't [practiced] since I was about 19 or 20, when I moved to L.A. and was working a lot. I couldn't find a ward I was comfortable in. It kind of petered out mostly because of that. My good friends are Mormon, some of the best people I know."

On Raising Her Kids Mormon:
Glamour, 2007:

"I’m having a glass of white wine right now; that’s not exactly being a good Mormon! But I am really supportive of the Mormon church and so profoundly grateful for the childhood I had. It’s hard work to grow and change and be honest with yourself about your mistakes, and I think the Mormons handle that beautifully. The faith I grew up with has influenced every decision I’ve made in my life — well, except for the bad ones! I haven’t decided yet. I’ve always thought I would raise [my children] Mormon because I had such a wonderful childhood."

On The Church's Influence On Her Childhood:
Vanity Fair, 2008:

"A couple of Mormon families were a great comfort [after the death of her brother when Heigl was seven years old]. Both my parents felt a great desire for answers, and they found an answer in the Mormon church. Everything was kind of a mess for a while. It wasn’t like Ordinary People, where it destroyed that family so badly that there was never finding any joy or loving or appreciating being alive again. But I give my parents unbelievable credit for pulling it together, and I give the Mormon church a lot of credit for helping them to do that.”

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• KATHERINE HEIGL WANTS TO GO MORMON AGAIN [Star]

Even though its B.O. numbers didn't exactly scream "Sequel!", the folks behind 1999's The Thomas Crown Affair, also known as Yet Another Chance For Pierce Brosnan To Convince Us He's Charming, are in pre-production mode for the second installment, slated for a 2009 release. The film's original female lead, Rene Russo, intelligently declined to participate in the inevitable disaster, leading producers to seek out Jolie as her replacement. The only glitch? Said folks have worked with Jolie before on Wanted, and reportedly fear another round of Lohan-esque fainting spells the then-skinny-as-a-rail Jolie kept experiencing while on set. As a result, they're said to be requiring their leading lady to pack on 30 pounds. As in, now. One week after giving birth to twins. Which begs the question: is it possible that Jolie has sped far ahead of post-pregnancy slim fast stars Jessica Alba and J. Lo in shedding her tent-dress-requiring baby weight already? And if not, why the need for this unnecessary sequel to star such a "weighty" co-star?

Ah, yes. The role is that of an "action woman." Because Jolie hasn't ever portrayed a gunfire-equipped, stunt scene-ready, action hero before or anything.

[Photo credits: X17, Wireimage]

• EXCLUSIVE: ANGELINA JOLIE'S TWINS CONCEIVED THROUGH IN VITRO [Us]
• ANGELINA JOLIE'S WEIGHTY ROLE [Female First]

According to Fox News, Fox blames her recent dramatic weight loss on a role in Jennifer's Body, a comedic horror film penned by bloggy-inclined Oscar winner Diablo Cody in which Fox plays a "possessed cheerleader." But master fauxter Bay, demanding as ever, has forced Fox to stuff herself silly with late night binges in order to bulk up for Transformers 2: More Shit Blows Up! And as for poor Anne Hathaway? Not only has she allegedly dropped almost 30 pounds in the few weeks since thieving ex-boyfriend Rafaello Follieri finally got nailed, but she's also said to be "throwing herself" into work on Bride Wars, that glee-filled set where disguising her hatred for co-star Kate Hudson has become close to impossible. But hey, at least now Anne can come out the winner in those infamous skirt size comparisons she and Hudson indulge in every time the cameras stop rolling!

[Photo credits: X17, Wireimage, Getty]

• SCARY SKINNY MEGAN FOX STOPPED EATING, FORCED TO GAIN WEIGHT [Fox News]
• HEARTBROKEN ANNE HATHAWAY DROPS 'TWO STONE' AFTER SPLIT FROM JAILED BUSINESSMAN [Daily Mail]

”Which cocaine-loving actress is said to be relying on her closeted husband to meet guys? A source says that when they were at a party recently, the hubby asked a fellow guest, ‘Do you want to bleep my wife? Because you can.’”

Sounds like a cinch, abounding with potential suspects, right? Not so fast. After our handy thinking caps proved to be malfunctioning this morning (or, possibly, the mindgrapes under said cap?), we took a few guesses after the jump, but today calls for the help of you commenters who, as always, are typically far more savvy at this sort of thing than us:

Anyone else who sadly remembers Mango the flamboyant monkey, or Corky Romano the flamboyant mob kid or, really, Chris Kattan the flamboyant Chris Kattan, was surely as shocked as we were to hear someone like model/actress Sunshine Tutt had agreed to marry the quirky little guy. Is she a cokehead, though? Well, were we forced to utter "Sunshine Tutt" whenever introducing ourselves to someone, we might need something to bolster a bit of confidence too. Melanie Griffith has admitted to dabbling with her fair share of substances in the past, and hubby Banderas has not only high-kicked on Broadway, but dude has not one, but two perfumes colognes under his shiny belt. Yasmine Bleeth, maybe the biggest repeat offender in cocaine bustland, is married, but we (and, we suspect, she) don't have a clue who this husband of hers is, but perhaps none of the above matters. When we hear the term "closeted actor," we instinctively picture the two actors most closely associated with the phrase in the public's eye: man-smoocher John Travolta and macho, macho man Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes is many things, but a cokehead? Nah. Kelly Preston, on the other hand... How an actress could fake her way through filming an explicit sex scene with Cruise without the aid of drugs? The world may never know.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, FilmMagic, Getty]

• CELEBRITY SIDE DISH [NYDN]

Hard to fathom but, just ten years ago, the diva known 'round the world was known simply as that hot big-bottomed girl with a shimmy-shaking breakthrough music video in heavy rotation on MTV (remember, in those days, MTV still played videos). But she hadn't quite let go of her penchants for ass-enhancing spandex onesies, nor her not-so-subtle habit of posing with said ass front and center. Few can forget her appearance as Diddy's arm candy at the 2000 MTV Music Awards, with her skin-tight white jeans, taut belly and bandana proving she's so real, from the block, and down with her peeps. For a few more minutes that is, considering no one from the block (any block) would be down with perhaps the most famous fashion faux-pas of the decade, the paper thin maniacally patterned green-ish disaster Lopez wagged tongues with just a few months later. One overly tight yellow polyester skirt and tacky pair of knee-high hooker booties later, and Lopez figured it out (finally): with a, ahem, imperfect eye for style well-proven, ensemble eyesores may appear on Max and Emme in the future, but thankfully, we'll only have to endure them once.

[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• JENNIFER LOPEZ TWINS NEVER EAR THE SAME DESIGNER CLOTHES TWICE [Daily Mirror]

Most of the ladies who gave up fearing Jesus remain happily married to their Chosen Person. Stunner Elizabeth Banks married the businessman Max Handelman in 2003, and her mother not only approved of Banks’ choice, but made the chuppah herself. First Lady of Dreamworks Kate Capshaw, though still hanging on to her surname from her first marriage, made the switch for Steven Spielberg, and Anne Meara’s conversion put a quasi-end to the primary source of material for her comedy act with Jerry Stiller, “Stiller & Meara,” which used their religious differences for many a punchline. And who can forget Miss Connie Chung, whose baffling adoration of silly Maury Povich convinced the anchor to go Jew for life.

But it’s not all dradles and festivals of lights! Model/actress/bimbo Nikki Ziering went through the lengthy process for, of all people, Steve Sanders himself, Ian Ziering. But predictably, the union went bust after four short years. However, Nikki’s still Jewish! And most memorably, Liz Taylor very famously converted to Judaism to become Eddie Fisher’s second wife, only to eventually become number two of five just a few years later. But her “guts and guile” found its way into Sex And The City, inspiring Charlotte to be proud of her decision to convert for her bagel-loving Jewish baldie, and even name her fancy puppy after Liz.

[Photo credits: Getty, FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• SACHA BARON COHEN AND ISLA FISHER'S WEDDING ON HOLD [Daily Mail]

Instead of Corey Feldman, try Corey Haim: At the time of Drew’s fling with Feldman, picking between the two Coreys was a matter of Eeny Meeny Miney Mo, Catch A Cokehead By The Toe. Judging by their subsequent trajectories, Drew may have made the wiser choice. But it’s the other Corey, sent to the bottom of his pill bag by Defamer commenters, who currently needs all the help Drew’s strawberry-scented guffaws can bring.

Instead of Luke Wilson, try Owen Wilson: Maybe back in the late 90s Luke seemed like the more intriguing Wilson. His nose wasn’t quite as broken as his brother’s, Owen hadn’t bewitched us all with his Hans in Zoolander, and Luke had yet to permanently banish himself from crush lists by actually sharing screen time with Jessica Simpson. But if Drew goes back to the Wilson well, Owen is clearly the front-runner these days.

Instead of Tom Green, try Dane Cook: Because the barren landscape of horrendously unfunny comedians has a new mascot, and Drew’s fondness of sticking her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat might be the only way to shut this one up.

Instead of Justin Long, try PC Guy: Because John Hodgman is a treasure and deserves some action. Bonus points for Drew if she agrees to film a cameo in the next Apple commercial, makes Justin cry, short-circuit whatever totally awesome new Mac he’s holding, and permanently erase that smirk from his face.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty]

• STAR EXCLUSIVE! DREW BARRYMORE AND JUSTIN LONG: IT'S OVER! [Star]

As TMZ reports, Cook "broke down crying after getting grilled on the stand...[and] admitted he masturbated in front of a web cam and frequented escort, porn and swinger sites, all while married to Brinkley." Cook also unleashed a salty waterfall of tears while 'fessing up to a $300k extortion scam gone awry, in which he gradually donated large sums of money to his then-18-year old mistress' Get Rich By Boinking Celebrities fundraiser by stashing cash under rocks and other office decor. But the most grim allegation came from Brinkley's lawyer, who claims her prepubescent son Jack (from an earlier marriage) stumbled across nudie pics of "young girls" on Cook's computer. Which must have surely aided the kid's expected progression towards following Billy Joel on the path towards future wives young enough to be his daughter.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• BRINKLEY'S EX - A REAL JERK-OFF [TMZ]

Though the Gossip Girl pretty boy has already doused gossip pages with gay rumors, Willis was allegedly gung-ho about grabbing the goldilock-ed birthday boy's attention. But instead of smartly following in his co-star Blake Lively's footsteps and donning a trustworthy bikini inspired by her own mother, Rumer thought a pair of her "shortest jean shorts" and impressive dance floor shenanigans would do the trick. Sadly, sources say Crawford was less interested in both her and Z-lister Brittny Gastineau's forays in conversion tactics: "He wouldn't give her the time of day." A sad moment indeed, but we do suggest Willis try her method out on Crawford's partner in fruitini-drinking crime JC Chasez, who, judging from our tipster's report months back, is much more interested in hiding his sexual preferences behind cabana doors.

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

• WOMEN COMPETING FOR CHACE CRAWFORD AT HIS BIRTHDAY [NYP]

As Us reported, Jen and her "big professional camera" just could not stop taking pictures of Mayer throughout his Saturday gig overseas, and that contagious British virus notorious for attacking celebrities during their trips across the pond struck Aniston, who became so suddenly turned on by Mayer's dapper black chinos that she took a nose-dive straight into them as paparazzi swarmed in. But her clingy girlfriends are clinging to their own objects of affection (the press) and labeling her clingy yet again! It seems her so-called friends are worried about Jennifer's mode of desperation rising up as it always does, and they've collectively hypothesized that Mayer is just in the relationship for the fanfare! But he claims every decision he makes is "with complete authenticity!" And Sheryl Crow is "happy"! And Owen Wilson could not be reached for comment! And Jessica Simpson was spotted hurled over some bar soaked in tears and memories! And Brad Pitt announced he simply didn't care, thus signaling that light at the end of the tunnel, and we finally remembered we have better things to do.

[Photo credits: Daily Mail, Wireimage]

• JENNIFER ANISTON HITS BOYFRIEND JOHN MAYER'S SHOW [Us]
• PALS WORRY 'CLINGY JEN' IS REEMERGING [MSNBC]

The story involving Lohan is hardly new, and appears to be taken directly from last year's suspect News Of The World feature in which one of Lohan's cohorts turned over a tape allegedly showing Lohan snorting lines at Teddy's. The item, accompanied by grainy stills from the tape which have yet to convince us Lindsay's the girl peer pressuring everyone around her into joint key bumps, did provide a classic Lindsay quote: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law!" Funny. And sad, because of just how funny that objective would be today. As for the other excerpts, Johnny Depp is the actor who said he'd spent most of his life in a fog, but his comments on cocaine and all the "teeth-grinding" that came with it were made in retrospect during a 2001 interview with The Guardian. The star who relied on the drug socially? Shockingly (!), Elton John. Who provided the book's quote to the LAT back in 1992. And guess what? Robin Williams, believe it or not, was once fond of the same drug! Too bad that news is so old Williams was still using the memory of it to plug movies to People in 1988.

The book's authors also promise revelations from the secretly drug-filled lives of Whitney Houston, Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse, and George Michael. But rather than sit around in heated anticipation of the day you can waste $28.95 on the hardcover, we'll give you the Cliff's Notes:
Whitney Houston: "Crack is whack."
Amy Winehouse: "They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no."
George Michael: "Why can't I set my monkey free?"
Courtney Love: "im sur ei am quite Nuerotic."
[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• DOPE STYLES OF THE BOLD-FACES [NYP]

Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"

Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."

Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"

Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"

Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."

Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."

Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."

Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."

Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"

Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."

[Photo credits: Getty, Wire Girl, Showbiz Spy, Renee Ashley Baker, NetGlimpse, Wireimage]

• JAMES MCAVOY: KISSING ANGELINA JOLIE WAS 'NOT VERY NICE' [ITW]

As Us informs us today, the former nose candy aficionado who was rumored to spend Nelson Mandela fundraisers traipsing in and out of bathroom stalls with Kate Moss, is the current bedmate du jour of boy-crazy Cameron (who thinks "sex is the best" like OMG!). The supposedly clean Sculfor spent a few weeks slowly chipping away at Aniston's already damaged little heart after everything went sour with Vince Vaughn.

As for Diaz, the supposedly matured John Mayer spent a few weeks wiping away her post-Timberlake tears most likely in an effort to obtain as much rebound sex as possible. But back in 2003, good old Vince was the one wiping away another set of Diaz tears, this time caused by detox dieter Jared Leto.

Vince Vaughn, you charming devil, you. Now we understand why you turned down that threesome with Owen Wilson. Because when it comes to schtupping celebrity blonde singletons over the age of 30 in Hollywood, you are so money! You don't need his help after all.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Splash]

• CAMERON DIAZ'S PDA-PACKED DATE WITH JENNIFER ANISTON'S EX [Us]

Before Bartha, Ashley was most recently linked to one ball wonder Lance Armstrong; prior to the bit part actor/bicyclist, the working twin had dalliances with Jared Leto before Lindsay Lohan stole him away. Most curiously, perhaps, was her brief sting dating the Prince of Annoyingness Wilmer Valderrama. The only pattern we see for our Ashley is the common presence of blue eyes (minus Wilmer), a solid but not intimidating bad boy rap sheet (minus Bartha, far as we know), and a general goal of dating the most random Hollywood outcasts in town. Were we not so envious of her newest paramour, we'd quite possibly applaud her diverse taste, even with Wilmer in the pack. Jared will always be Jordan Catalano in our eyes, no matter how much makeup he piles on.

MK has a wildly different (and yet unnervingly similar!) pattern of her own. Currently dating euro billionaire Lapo Elkann, the prunier Olsen counts artist/Uma Thurman cousin Max Snow and every Hollywood bimbo’s favorite throwaway make-out partner Stavros Niarchos among her ex-boyfriends. It seems MK’s requirements include long, mangy hair, an incredibly ambiguous “career” despite being labeled heirs, and guys who are afraid of showers. In the end, we get the sense that the more pragmatic and naive Ashley tends to chase after those who shoot excellent game and resemble knights in latex/guylighter/hair gelled armor, while MK has a far more pointed system: the dirtier, sleazier, greasier, and potentially damaging boys feed (hey, something has to feed her) her masochistic mania. Analysis complete.

[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• THEY CAN'T HIDE FROM US [NYP]

According to the weekly, it was none other than controversy-free Jennifer Connelly:

"Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. 'Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover.'"

Though we suspect Johansson would have been the target of Aniston's venom had she been free for the shoot, we're more than a little surprised to hear Connelly received the wrath (and the boot) from the other Jennifer. While Barrymore met her own boy toy Justin Long on set and Ginnifer's still dating Katie Holmes' leftovers, these two are unmarried just like Aniston. Connelly's been married for centuries in Hollywood time, and has kids to prove it. Which, of course, makes perfect sense on second thought. If Aniston wasn't going to "hit it off" with one of the movie's other leading ladies, it would have to be the sole hitched actress. We suspect Connelly's ejection had less to do with personality clashes than Aniston's desire to appear like a Barrymore/Goodwin peer, all single and tan and carefree, rather than part of the mature woman's yin to the young gal's yang.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty, FilmMagic]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JENNIFER CONNELLY HAVING OFF-SCREEN FEUD [Celebritique]

Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet: Followers include ridiculously skin-and-bones supe Gisele Bundchen, weight loss master Robin Quivers and the muscular Madonna. The 21-day detox promises devotees to shed 21 pounds in that many days "by subsisting on live juices, enzymes - and regular colonics." Fun!

The Master Cleanser: Reportedly what Beyonce used in order to nab her Dreamgirls role, Vince Vaughn allegedly follows the lemon juice liquid diet, and Jared Leto shed his Chapter 27 weight by drinking the "water mixed with lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper" cocktail as well. Yum!

Dr. Joshi's Holistic Detox: Fans include the clavicle-flashing Gwyneth Paltrow, original waif Kate Moss and currently slim Ralph Fiennes. The main focus is avoiding acidic and toxic foods, but the downside hardly sounds worth it, and sort of explains Kate's moody expressions in photo after photo: "Users report headaches, stomach pains, nausea and fatigue." Even more fun!

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage, FilmMagic]

• CELEB DETOX DIETS MAY PROVE HARD TO SWALLOW [NYDN]

What makes this particular game of bingo far more fun than usual is struggling to figure out which Olsen is which. And in an effort to help you out, we'll clue you in to the fact that Ashley, who hasn't clung to The Prune as obsessively as MK recently, appears only thrice in our montage. Let the guessing games begin!

[Photo credits: FilmMagic, Getty, Wireimage]

• SECRET OF THE OLSENS' SMILE? SAY 'PRUNE'! [MSNBC]

“On a recent weekend, Jeremy rode the Planet Hollywood private jet from Las Vegas to Los Angeles and...started chatting about Entourage. [Piven] suggested that it would be fun to have [his seatmate] make an appearance...Jeremy was overheard calling a producer and telling him as soon as the plane touched down in LA.”

So which diva extraordinaire tickled Piven’s pickle so well she earned herself a much-needed spot on the HBO hit? Details after the jump.

Apparently Piven was seated next to one Miss Whitney Houston on the short plane ride in question, and something in her dilated eyes, crack pipe-wounded chuckle, and most importantly, her tightly packed and newly improved cleavage, inspired Jeremy to give this bitch one hell of a hug and offer her a cameo on Entourage. The mind reels just picturing what Piven has in mind — a competitive power agent who lures clients away using a goodie-packed drawer in her office? Turtle's new S&M-loving cougar crush? Ari's ex-wife's new lesbian lover (remember: lesbians are so hot this season)? We can hardly wait for the inevitable gossip stories involving ongoing on-set epic bickering between two of the most self-important stars around today.

[Photo credits: FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• JEREMY PIVEN IS ALWAYS WORKING [Janet Charlton]

As Gwyneth proved quite effectively during her Iron Man press tour by wearing kinky boots and transparent mini-dresses, slipping into a costume designed for tightening trousers goes a long way towards catching the attention of not only the horny teen boy population, but also the millenial MTV viewers. Not to mention the sex-obsessed network's not-so-subliminal message that bisexual MySpace stars are worthy of icon status, that you can't really have a good time unless you're stripping down to nothing in hot tubs with your Real World roommates, and that what people REALLY want to see are endless barrages of Top 20 Sexiest Star/Hottest Bods/Sluttiest Sluts countdowns. So who can really blame girls like Charlize and Anne for following the crowd?

[Photo credits: Wireimage, PA via Daily Mail]

• LINDSAY LOHAN WINS EMBARRASSING WARDROBE MALFUNCTION AWARD AS YOUNG HOLLYWOOD TURNS OUT AT MTV MOVIE AWARDS [Daily Mail]

As the Daily Mail reports, Cattrall's metallic dress started bunching up 'round her rear end, forcing Kim to cheekily dig out the material from in between her very toned ass, all the while winking. But Kim didn't stop surprising the crowd by allegedly telling reporters at a previous premiere that she "hopes we get to come back and make another." Which is very sweet, but judging from the NY Daily News' report from the scene, a repeat performance of the mob scene isn't something we'd like to see anytime soon:

"Organizers of the celeb-studded event overbooked the 6,000-seat theater, leaving bounced fans fuming. The angry crowd surged against police barricades, cursing and stomping their Manolo Blahniks."

Even Chris Noth, who's still clinging to that charming rep like a security blanket, blowing kisses to the furious crowd did little to numb the pain. As one fan said, "We waited in line 21/2 hours. I guess we'll go drink a Cosmo or five now." Which is quite possibly the saddest comment made by a woman we've ever heard.

And of course, there were the requisite horrendous fashion choices, notably made by Ashley Olsen in pants so oversized she could have comfortably fit both herself and MK inside, plus Jennifer Hudson's decision to shove approximately 95% of her breasts in photographers' faces and, unsurprisingly, legendary SATC wardrobe wench Pat Fields sporting what may be the most cringeworthy combination of purple and red hair dye we've seen to date. To be fair, dressing horribly is sort of her "thing," so we'll go ahead and forgive the kookiest of all kooky stylists.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty, Splash]

• KIM CATTRALL ON THE 'SEX AND THE CITY' MOVIE: 'I HOPE WE GET TO MAKE ANOTHER' [Us]
• 'SEX AND THE CITY' PREMIERE TURNS UGLY [NYDN]