Nikki Finke was tipped that the William Morris kids, who were making around $13.50 an hour, are getting a pay cut to reflect the $9.50's worth of nickels thrown at the Endeavor slaves' feet every sixty minutes. Now the poor WMA staffers are getting their pay scaled back, what with the economy and all. WME bosses are calling it "recalculating." Brutal.

It's a potential pay decrease that "would honestly make the wages unliveable," according to one brave but anonymous, still employed soul who cried out from the fiery chasms of the still molten-hot headquarters.

All this is extra funny and sad when you consider just how insanely much those blustering, besuited Ari Gold-wannabe agents are making.

Though, once a few of these youngsters start moving up the ranks and start tasting the good life, you can bet they'll soon forget the plight of the gofer pool. It's just the way these things go.

By the time the smoke's cleared, and the kingpins of William Morris and the thugs Endeavor come together and become the giant talent syndicate that is WME Entertainment, a significant number of people are going to have lost their jobs. Until then, there's the typical air of absolute paranoia and uncertainty that these desk-chained youngsters - one of whom I once was - have to endure. And it sounds like nobody's saying anything right now...

"How would I describe it? Madness in denial...We see "normalcy" but things have been eerily quiet. Assistants are scared for their careers. It's very difficult not to feel as though there's a big target on our backs, but we're all just reporting to our desks like sitting ducks but you can taste the tension in the air and feel the nerves jangling. It's definitely a bizzare [sic] atmosphere. Every assistant is scrambling to find a new job, whether they're told they're in or not..."

...Except, of course, for Nikki Finke, who the assistants have to get their news through. Another one:

"We get all of our information second-hand from Nikki Finke. You know what we know. At the same time, I'd be lying if I didn't admit it was very exciting to be in the "middle" of something this "big." But people are being called in. And there are really no jobs out there. Like, none.

None, apparently! Finally, some intel on Dana Sims - one of the agency's largest talent agents - leaving the company, and the fate of her longtime, devoted assistant.

Dana had a brand-new assistant at the time that was an agent trainee. Dana's departure demonstrated WMA's new callousness towards its staff. When Dana left, her assistant (who had been at WMA for three years) was initially told he would be able to stay. He did, in fact, state to Human Resources that he would love to remain at the company, and told them he would do any job they needed him to do in order to stay. HR: Okay, great, you can stay." The next day, after Dana had be escorted out by security, HR called him and said "you're fired." This doesn't happen: a trainee was fired?! In the wake of this merger, the company just can't afford to care about any of its employees, regardless of how long they've been there."

And see! There's your lesson: Hollywood is like every other industry when it comes to letting people go. Shrouds of secrecy, thinly veiled threats, bald-faced lies, and eventual disappointment. To all other assistants out there in this merger, no matter which side you're on: duck, run, take cover. Only the strong (or strongly connected) are surviving this one.

Surprisingly and delightfully, Splash News has the best details on how the alleged new couple behaved at the party:

She wore a tight sexy black dress, Louboutin heels and a bright red lipstick. Britney seemed relaxed and happy and laughed as she and Jason shared some jokes. The pair seemed very comfortable together. They sat in a private VIP booth, stayed for 1/2 hour, Britney took a cigarette break and her father seemed to be happy with his daughter having a great time with Jason.

Britney in Louboutins? Where have her beloved glued-on cowboy kickers run off to? Maybe they'll be her wedding present to Juno Lynn? But, we have to say, our favorite tidbit from this story is the fact that "Britney took a cigarette break" and "her father seemed to be happy" are in the same sentence. It's times like these when, for just a split second, we kind of wish Jamie Spears was our dad too.

[Photo credits: Splash]

• BRITNEY SPEARS SMILES AGAIN AS SHE STEPS OUT WITH NEW AGENT 'BOYFRIEND' [Daily Mail]

And why the sudden case of itchy feet? Posits Variety:

Writers and their agents say that the post-writers strike and pre-actors strike funk has ramped up agency raiding of rival clients...Add in stress-inducing factors — expected post-strike writing assignments that never materialized; studios squeezing quotes on the few jobs that do exist; studios having filled out slates through 2009; and the lack of greenlights until a SAG deal is in place — and the combination is a perfect storm of anxiety that has made talent, writers included, particularly susceptible to sweet talk from other agents.

Or maybe they're just promiscuous rep-sluts, in dire of a Dr. Drew® Intervention™.

• Top Hollywood scribes making moves [Variety]

Primarily through new ventures that not only go around the studios, but around traditional distribution entirely. While the networks and studios all have subsidiaries producing content strictly for online distribution, the talent contracts are still typical pay-as-you-go deals (and meager at that). Agencies have been most enthusiastic about new busines models — probably because they're already realizing efficiencies in terms of talent discovery using the Internet, which allows them to get around scouts and managers and reach new faces easily and cheaply.

A number of agencies have begun embracing new models. 60frames, an online video startup, took $3.5 million in venture funding and was incubated by the United Talent Agency. Creative Artists Agency is assembling a $200 million venture fund with partner Draper Fisher Jurvetson. International Creative Management is reportedly talking to Qualcomm about raising their own cash. And William Morris has helped back a $500 million SPAC to fund M&A deals, with Ashton Kutcher serving on the board. The draw for the agencies is the ability to own a piece of the company that distributes work from their own talent stables.

The only problem is, that gives them a conflict of interest when negotiating with the studios. Why pitch deals to the studio for the standard 10 percent cut when in-house deals would result in agency fees and back-end profits? And no one knows how this will shake out for talent. As LivePlanet producer Sean Bailey pointed out to reporter Laura M. Holson, "People in Silicon Valley too want their pound of flesh."

(Photo by Getty/Sharon Dominick)

WILLIAM Morris Chairman Jim Wiatt is so desperate to protect his firm's reputation that he's threatening to sue people who dare to even talk about the agency in an unflattering light. Wiatt was incandescent with rage on Wednesday when he learned that PAGE SIX was working on a story about how Freddie Prinze Jr. threatened WMA President Dave Wirtschafter during a phone conversation several months ago. In March, Prinze was furious after Wirtschafter told The New Yorker that Prinze's wife, Sarah Michelle Gellar, was "nothing" before she starred in the hit horror flick "The Grudge," and he called the WMA president.
"Freddie was very angry," a friend told us. "Dave wasn't even her agent — George Freeman was — so Freddie said, 'I don't want to hear you talking about my wife. You don't even know her. Make sure you don't run into me on the street.' "
Wirtschafter shot back, "Are you threatening me?" — to which Prinze said, "It's not a threat; it's just the truth."

Awwwww, snap! It gets a little more complicated from there, but here's a quick summary: Jim totally called Freddie to ask if he threatened Dave, and Freddie was all, you bet your ass I did! Then Page Six called flack Leslie "Sloane" Zelnick, and she goes, I'm not denyin' nothin'! THEN Jim called Freddie's manager, and he's like, hey, do YOU want a nasty Bert Fields letter, lady? Do ya? We got enough for everybody! Then William Morris' "mouthpiece" is all about Hello? No one's suing anybody, OK? And then Page Six ran the item. The end.

We think. At least until recess, when all hell might break loose.

• AGENTS ON PRINZE AND NEEDLES [NY Post]
• William Morris Fights Back: The Strongly-Worded Letter [Defamer]
• Page Six Finally Playing Nice With WMA? [Defamer]