1.) Behind the Music: Bobby Brown



Despite the fact that Whitney's comeback album and big interview on Oprah is what's renewed the public's interest in Bobby Brown, none of that was mentioned. In fact, when he did speak of Whitney, he wasn't exactly diplomatic.

They were both fucked up during that marriage. After getting addicted to cocaine and heroin, Bobby says that he doesn't remember an entire five-year block of time.

2.) Seth MacFarlane dropped the F-bomb live on E!'s Emmys red carpet show.
And the censors were too slow on the uptake to bleep it.

3.) Michael Jackson's illegitimate sister's first-ever TV interview
Joh'Vonnie Jackson, 31, is Joe Jackson's lovechild who was evidently always known about and even invited to a family reunion at Neverland.

4.) In other fucked-up showbiz family news
While on Oprah on Wednesday, Mackenzie Phillips thought this anecdote about Mick Jagger would lighten the mood set by her incest bombshell, but the audience was too freaked out.

5.) Synergy of #3 and #4
The Insider presents Mack and Mike, together, singing a song about addiction…to junk food.

6.) Lara Spencer's spot gets blown up.

7.) Language arts with The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Alternate way of saying "tardy for the party":

Alternate way of saying "STFU":

Alternate way of saying "vagina":

8.) Wendy Williams sucks at American history.

9.) Khloe Kardashian ponders one of life's big questions.

10.) Senior citizens in a strip club
A strip club in Florida offers senior citizens free flu shots and a buffet lunch.

Free food, meds and tits? This guy is probably wondering if he died already, 'cause he's in heaven.

Q: How bad did it get with the drugs?
A: "We were payin' money."


Q: When did the drugs start?
A: Time is categorized as either "Before The Bodyguard" or "After The Bodyguard."


Q: What did she do when she was high?
A: Read the bible.


Q: What did Bobby Brown do when he was high?
A: Arts and crafts.


Q: How frequently did she do drugs while filming The Preacher's Wife?
A: Every day.


Q: Was Bobby Brown jealous of her?
A: Hell to the yes.


Q: Does Whitney still worry about pleasing Bobby?
A: Hell to the no.
Q: Was Bobby Brown Abusive?
A: Emotionally, yes.


Q: Did Whitney realize what she was getting herself into when she signed up for Being Bobby Brown?
A: Hell to the no.


Q: What was Whitney's drug of choice?
A: Bobby.

1.) Whitney!

2.) Where do broken hearts go?
Harpo Studios, Chicago.

3.) Was Hailey Glassman on Monday's episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8?
While Kate was away shooting guns, Jon was playing dress up with his daughters, pulling from a bag of women's clothes that definitely were not his soon-to-be-ex-wife's. A girl in the background, with her face blurred out, was lending a helping hand.

Jon filled out his dress, nicely.

I love how one of the little girls ended up looking like Mary-Kate Olsen.

4.) David Rothenberg, grown up
When I was younger, I was obsessed with this TV movie David, starring Bernadette Peters.

It was based on the true story of David Rothenberg, who was only 6-years-old when his father tried to murder him by setting him on fire, and causing severe burns to over 90% of David's body.

The real David whom the movie was based on was befriended by Michael Jackson. David, now in his 30s, has lived a really private life (and changed his name to Dave Dave), but resurfaced this week when he attended—and spoke at—MJ's burial.

He also debunked rumors on Larry King Live.

5.) He's not angry, he's mad.
In other MJ news, Joe Jackson speaks out for the first time since the other times he spoke out.

6.) The poor girl's brother just died!
Alena Jenkins, the 19-year-old sister of Ryan Jenkins, was interviewed today on Good Morning America. Alena is the one who most likely drove her brother to the motel where he subsequently hung himself. While trying to be a hard-nosed journalist, this GMA reporter just ended up coming off like an insensitive ass.

7.) Maureen McCormick is losing weight for publicity…again.

She's also losing her mind.

8.) Who wants an Alter-Ego?

9.) "Her future ambition is to be a successful woman."
Crawl before you walk, bitch. God!

10.) "Limousines, Parties"
Did you know that the Daytime Emmy Awards is the most glamorous night in television?

Pure glamour!

The taping in front of adoring fans was part of the long-lost singer's big comeback and there were reports that Houston and her voice weren't at their greatest yesterday. "She was really damaged," said one fan. That damage, said Whitney, was from gabbing with Oprah for too long.

Whatever the true cause, our tipsters says that following the concert GMA producers and network executives at ABC furiously debated what to air. Ultimately, GMA entertainment producer Karen Rhee convinced the ABC brass in L.A. — and over the objections of the ABC News executives in New York (yes, GMA is technically a news program — to bring in a post-production team to "sweeten" Houston's voice. Says our tipster:

Standards and practices people are doing cartwheels.The company line will be "She sounded great to the crowd, so we wanted to correct technical errors that occurred in the process of recording her performance." Rather than the reality which is, "She didn't sound good, and a news broadcast is altering the performance of a guest." This is not standard, nor has this ever happened before with a music performance on GMA.

While, yes, this could be true, our childlike devotion to Ms. Houston refuses to believe this. Whitney can do no wrong. Well, except for her crackhead years and that absolutely terrible Cinderella TV movie with Brandy. Other than that, she's perfect!

The result was a brilliant unraveling of sentences that left Houston virtually out of breath, as well as a delicious feedback loop when Houston's pauses and a teleprompter immediately rushed to its slowest setting caused her to stagger her words with even greater infrequency. Though she's the healthiest we've seen in her in ages, the over-deliberate phrasing reminded us of our own sometimes-inebriated insistences that, "No. We. Are. NOT. Drunk" (with a little bit of our high school drama teacher's vocal cadences thrown in for garnish). The final verdict? It's not quite right, but it's definitely OK.

• The Grammys [CBS]

This morning on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck was all bent out of shape about Phelps' bong hit, giving the tired spiel about how he's a role model and he's setting a bad example, blah blah blah. She went on to claim that since he's willing to use illegal drugs to have a good time, maybe he's open to using illegal drugs to advance his career, as though weed is a gateway drug to steroids or something. Whoopi shot her down pretty quickly, and admitted to enjoying pot.

Elisabeth's argument hinged on the fact that Phelps accepts money to endorse products. One of those is Rosetta Stone, the language-learning software, which is just about one of the most sedentary activities a stoner could enjoy, aside from watching The Wizard of Oz on mute while playing The Dark Side of the Moon. (I should know, since I've been using the program to learn Spanish.) His other sponsors, like Omega and Speedo, totally don't give a shit.

And they shouldn't, because it's silly — in my opinion, anyway — to pass judgment on those who take part in something as innocuous as pot smoking, which many believe is lot less harmful for one's body than alcohol. Besides, despite the fact that it's technically illegal, so many people smoke weed recreationally that it's not all that taboo. Here's a list of celebrities who have either been caught smoking marijuana, or admit willingly to doing so.

Woody Harrelson



Woody is an activist for the legalization of marijuana and hemp.

Willie Nelson



So is Willie Nelson.

Frances McDormand



Frances McDormand was on the cover of High Times in May 2003, in which she said, "I'm a recreational pot-smoker. There has never been enough of a distinction between marijuana and other drugs. It's a human rights issue, a censorship issue, and a choice issue."

Seth Rogen & James Franco



The pair stared in Pineapple Express together, and shared this maybe real/maybe fake joint on stage while presenting an award during the MTV Movie Awards last summer.

Cameron Diaz & Drew Barrymore



Also friends who share.

Justin Timberlake



Timberlake, who used to date Diaz, has been very open about how he smokes weed, sometimes even with is mother. He also admitted that he was stoned out of his mind when he was Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher.

Kimora Lee Simmons



Kimora Lee Simmons took one of the stoniest mugshots after she was arrested in 2004 for possession.

Nicole Richie



Nicole admitted to having smoked pot, as well as taking a Vicodin, when she was arrested for a DUI charge in 2007.

Paris Hilton



Nicole's buddy Paris' reefer madness has been well documented.

Michelle Phillips



Former singer from The Mamas & The Papas said as recently as 2001 that, "Marijuana should definitely be legalized. I think we should let everyone smoke it without fear of being thrown in jail. It's the greatest drug in the world!"

Snoop Dogg



Duh.

Redman



We'll be here all day if we start listing rappers.

Lil Wayne



But we'll mention Wayne for good measure.

Mariah Carey



Mariah is such a goody-two-shoes that she'd never publicly admit to marijuana use, but on her most recent album, she made plenty of weed references.

Charlize Theron



Academy Award winners like their weed, too.

AARP



In the summer of 2005, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) hosted a smoke-in to promote the legalization of marijuana. Celebrities that participated: Willie Nelson, Woody Harrelson (obvs), Bette Midler, Santana, Chicago, David Crosby and Graham Nash, Rod Stewart, The New Jefferson Starship, Tony Orlando, Ringo Starr, Tommy Chong, Snoop Dogg, and Robert Downey Jr.

Matthew McConaughey



When McConaughey gets loose, he does so with bongos.

Dionne Warwick



Her work with Burt Bacharach was way too mellow to not be under the influence.

Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown



They've got "Something in Common."

Sarah Silverman



Sarah speaks favorably about weed in her act, and smoked with Doug Benson in his movie Super High Me.

Doug Benson



Comedian Doug Benson has centered much of his career around pot.

Oliver Stone



He has the perfect name for someone who's been busted for pot on numerous occasions.

Dawn Wells



Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island was arrested last year for possession.

Dave Chappelle

The Pointer Sisters



Oliver Hudson tells a story about his first concert-going experience, during which the Pointer Sisters were getting blazed.

Paul Dinello



It's hard to watch this Strangers With Candy clip about smoking pot without thinking that writer/actor Paul Dinello believes what he is saying.

Barbra Streisand



In a 1972 Rolling Stone interview, Babs said, "I'd take out a joint and light it. First, just faking it. Then I started lighting live joints, passing them around to the band, you know. I was great, it relieved all my tensions. And I ended up with the greatest supply of grass ever. Other acts up and down the Strip heard about what I was doing - Little Anthony and the Imperials, people like that - and started sending me the best dope in the world. I never ran out."

Phelps Backed by Sponsors After Marijuana Photo [TCPalm]
Elisabeth Hasselbeck disses Michael Phelps; Whoopi Goldberg: 'I have smoked weed' [EW]

The story involving Lohan is hardly new, and appears to be taken directly from last year's suspect News Of The World feature in which one of Lohan's cohorts turned over a tape allegedly showing Lohan snorting lines at Teddy's. The item, accompanied by grainy stills from the tape which have yet to convince us Lindsay's the girl peer pressuring everyone around her into joint key bumps, did provide a classic Lindsay quote: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law!" Funny. And sad, because of just how funny that objective would be today. As for the other excerpts, Johnny Depp is the actor who said he'd spent most of his life in a fog, but his comments on cocaine and all the "teeth-grinding" that came with it were made in retrospect during a 2001 interview with The Guardian. The star who relied on the drug socially? Shockingly (!), Elton John. Who provided the book's quote to the LAT back in 1992. And guess what? Robin Williams, believe it or not, was once fond of the same drug! Too bad that news is so old Williams was still using the memory of it to plug movies to People in 1988.

The book's authors also promise revelations from the secretly drug-filled lives of Whitney Houston, Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse, and George Michael. But rather than sit around in heated anticipation of the day you can waste $28.95 on the hardcover, we'll give you the Cliff's Notes:
Whitney Houston: "Crack is whack."
Amy Winehouse: "They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no."
George Michael: "Why can't I set my monkey free?"
Courtney Love: "im sur ei am quite Nuerotic."
[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• DOPE STYLES OF THE BOLD-FACES [NYP]

“On a recent weekend, Jeremy rode the Planet Hollywood private jet from Las Vegas to Los Angeles and...started chatting about Entourage. [Piven] suggested that it would be fun to have [his seatmate] make an appearance...Jeremy was overheard calling a producer and telling him as soon as the plane touched down in LA.”

So which diva extraordinaire tickled Piven’s pickle so well she earned herself a much-needed spot on the HBO hit? Details after the jump.

Apparently Piven was seated next to one Miss Whitney Houston on the short plane ride in question, and something in her dilated eyes, crack pipe-wounded chuckle, and most importantly, her tightly packed and newly improved cleavage, inspired Jeremy to give this bitch one hell of a hug and offer her a cameo on Entourage. The mind reels just picturing what Piven has in mind — a competitive power agent who lures clients away using a goodie-packed drawer in her office? Turtle's new S&M-loving cougar crush? Ari's ex-wife's new lesbian lover (remember: lesbians are so hot this season)? We can hardly wait for the inevitable gossip stories involving ongoing on-set epic bickering between two of the most self-important stars around today.

[Photo credits: FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• JEREMY PIVEN IS ALWAYS WORKING [Janet Charlton]

1. Buying crack on the street: Tatum O'Neal—as we mentioned earlier, celebrities should all certainly have private, high-class connections to make discreet deliveries to their door. Buying rocks off the street is for the poors.

2. Calling the police while you do coke: Boy George—the singer made a frantic 911 call saying his home was being burglarized, only to be arrested on a drug charge after the cops found an eight-ball in his apartment when they showed up to investigate. Needless to say: do not call the police while you do coke. Christ.

3. Allowing yourself to be videotaped smoking crack: Amy Winehouse—the crazy British beehive badass got arrested after a tape of her smoking the rock was "passed to Scotland Yard." Shouldn't they be investigating mysterious murders in locked rooms, or something? In any case, if you're going to smoke crack, and you are a very famous person, be sure to do it with no recording devices present. (This goes for regular cameras too, Kate Moss).

4. Annoying your relatives so much they sell you out: Whitney Houston—The singer went so crazy on crack that her sister-in-law Tina Brown, herself a former crackhead, staged an intervention. By selling embarassing photos of Whitney's coke-strewn house to the National Enquirer! Lesson: your relatives are greedy bastards quick to stab you in the back to make a buck, so be sure to take care of them financially before they call the tabloids.

5. Fighting the police: Christian Slater—It's bad enough to be arrested by the police. Getting your ass kicked by them is even more embarrassing. Particularly when you act like a lunatic while doing so. Cue Christian Slater, 1997: the floppy-haired actor, bingeing on coke, beat his girlfriend at a party, bit a man, and then, "When the police arrived, Slater did not go quietly, but hid in a stairwell and fought with officers, reportedly shouting, 'the Germans are coming and they will kill us!'" Don't do that.

Helluva drug.

"I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice...At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine."

Well, Whitney may have (allegedly) seduced the helpless Bobby into a lifetime of nose candy and mood stabilizing clouds of laughy time, but she also let him cheat! As Bobby puts it, "women are always throwing themselves at you. I'm only human, so I would make the mistake and bite the hook sometimes." Note yet another great little nugget. "Bite the hook" is the new, way cooler "bite the bullet." And though Brown says their union was "doomed" from the get-go, we have a feeling those fifteen years of marital bliss spent on drugs and in other girls' beds were pretty much the best years of his life. Now all he's got is a lousy book, and we all know no one reads those things anymore.

[Photo Credit: celebrity-gossip.net]

• 'WHITNEY DROVE ME TO DRUGS' [NY Post]

"I have not seen or spoken to my daughter since early June and I have no prospect of speaking to her anytime soon due to Whitney's actions," Brown declared in Orange County Superior Court filings released last week.

During a court hearing in April, Houston testified that Brown was "unreliable" and that she didn't need spousal or child support.

Brown disputes her claim, saying he's been involved in their daughter's life and was her primary caretaker when the couple lived in Atlanta.

When Houston moved to Orange County to undergo drug rehabilitation, Brown said he paid about $10,000 for his wife and daughter to stay at a posh hotel.

"At the same time, I basically lived out of my car," Brown said.

Although it seems cruel that he wants to confront Bobbi Kristina more regularly with the sad truth of her DNA, the important question remains: Without him in her life, who will probe her doodie bubbles? Is he paranoid about competition in that department from the spindly digits of absentee prospective stepfather Osama bin Laden? If so, don't sweat it, Bobby. That dude seems squeamish.

• Houston, Brown in custody battle [abcnews.com]

Brown said in Melbourne: "I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won't happen. But if he wants to try and find me for something so stupid, he can do what he wants. I have to leave it in the hands of my higher power.

"Come on, if anybody [else was] threatened by Al Qaeda, they'd take it seriously."

Ticketbuyers didn't and showed up, but they didn't take Brown seriously, either.

The singer took off his shirt at one point "unveiling his sweaty, abdominally challenged torso [and mysteriously wet crotch]" and the audience screamed with laughter, but were dead silent when he tried to get them to do a "call and response," wrote one reviewer in the Herald Sun.

It's a perfect storm of soap opera cliches: a woman and two men, one of whom is frequently presumed dead and then presumed alive again; kinky intimate practices; divorce; bigamy; the threat of a beheading; and of course incontinence. Hopefully the self-proclaimed World's Greatest Entertainer's livelihood won't be threatened by these fear-induced bladder seizures, although ripping off his shirt cleverly makes him more aerodynamic in the event that he must flee suddenly on foot.

• Bin There, Done That, Bobby [Dailynews.com]
• Osama Bin Laden Will Be Whitney Houston's Baby Tonight [Defamer]

Singer Whitney Houston will file for divorce from husband Bobby Brown. Houston's rep Nancy Seltzer confirms to TMZ that Houston intends to divorce Brown, and that filing for a separation is just a "legal technicality" on the way to divorce. Seltzer did not divulge any further details concerning where or when the filings were made, and calls to Brown's lawyer were not returned.

Devout Houston worshipper Osama bin Laden will be over the moon when the happy news finally arrives via Al-Qaeda footsoldier, and we imagine it's only a matter of days before a videotaped pledge of his devotion surfaces on Al Jazeera TV, in which he'll beg his beloved Whitney to "throw off the shackles of the Satanic American oppressor and be my Queen, as our souls reach a state of ultimate transcendence under the approving gaze of Allah. And let's face it, the guy was totally dragging your career into the crapper."

• BULLETIN: Whitney Houston To File For Divorce [TMZ.com]

Boof says bin Laden couldn't stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. "He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

But bin Laden's murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar. "[He would say] how beautiful she is," Boof claims, "what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens' husbands killed.

"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name," Boof writes.

Suddenly, Bin Laden's nefarious plan to contaminate America's cocaine supply with deadly poison is starting to make a lot more sense to us: It's the sour grapes gesture of a man so obsessed with a woman he knew he ultimately he could not have, he'd take every foolproof precaution to make sure she dropped dead from a fatal, crack-is-wack attack sooner than enviously observe her Satanic-American husband lovingly dig out another doodie bubble from her butt on Afghani DirecTV.

• DID OSAMA LUST FOR WHITNEY? [NY Post]

In this week's episode: Brad Pitt; Matthew McConaughey, Lance Armstrong and Don Rickles; Lindsay Lohan; Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi; Ed Burns; Matt Dillon; Charlize Theron; Paula Abdul; Chris Rock; Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston; Nicole Richie; Kate Beckinsale; Anna Paquin; Adrien Grenier; Jesse Metcalfe; Jason Patric; Michael Vartan; Morgan Spurlock; Gary Marshall; Elizabeth Berkley; John Cho; Bai Ling; Jacklyn Smith; Joseph Fiennes; Hank Azaria; Gary Busey; Edward Furlong; Travis Barker; Michael Rosenbaum; Henry Rollins; Shawn Pyfrom and Bill Nye.

· Brad Pitt eating dinner with an older manager type on the patio at Malo in Silverlake. Smoking, drinking a margarita and chowing on some tacos. He seemed cool, unlike the very unhip hipsters who were gathered on the smoking patio not smoking and oogling him. I love the habanero salsa but thats a long drive from Malibu just for some tacos.

· Yo! Thursday night, July 6th at Nobu Malibu (yeah, that's how I roll) a very scruffy Matthew McConaughey made the scene with none other than 7 time Tour De France champion Lance Armstrong. And the two Texans seemed to get a real kick out of the original hockey puck himself, Don Rickles, who stopped by their table to chat on his way out the door.

· While heading to the Hollywood Bowl Thursday evening, we hit a little traffic snag on Sunset just before Doheny. As various lane changes took place (will we never learn that makes NO difference?!), my husband managed to cut off a black, top of the line Mercedes convertible. The car promptly honked and flashed the bird, and as I turned around to take all of this in, I noticed the driver was none other than Lindsay Lohan. Smoking a ciggy, red nail polish, ridiculously large designer sunglasses and of course the signature "firecrotch" red hair. Some petite brunette was in the passenger side. Once she maneuvered around us, she proceeded to punch it, weaving in and out of traffic before taking a right on Doheny. You go, hot stuff! I guess you can afford to buy cars as fast as you can wreck 'em...

· dateline chateau marmont..

sunday 7.9
ellen degeneres and incredibly hot portia de rossi...so naturally gorgeous...having lunch...
an unbelievably fantastic looking ed burns having cocktails with friends...

monday 7.10
matt dillon checking in, he has an amazing voice, not too shabby on the eyes either...

tuesday 7.11
charlize theron in all her amazon goddess-ness (is that even a word?)
paula abdul crying (literally...into her cell-phone) on the stairs...

· 7/9 - First day back from being gone for a week and already spot someone... Chris Rock picking up a newspaper and eating lunch solo at the Century City mall food court.

· I was driving from Studio City to Hollywood on Cahuenga Thursday evening. I was at that part of Cahuenga where it turns into a complete clusterfuck if there is any kind of event going on at the Hollywood Bowl. So, I was sitting in traffic cursing the Belle & Sebastian concert when my boyfriend noticed Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston in the car next to us. I thought for sure we would be in for some drug addled fun while trying to negotiate the traffic, but Mr. Brown flipped a bitch and sped out of there before I really got a good look. But, Whitney didn't look worse for the wear as tabloids might suggest, just thin as a rail.

· Nicole Richie outside of Gucci on Rodeo with a blond friend (didn't get a close enough look to see if it was droopy-faced Rachel Zoe). They were being yelled at by a cute-ish guy with a bull horn in a funky old red truck . He was yelling his cell number out his window to her as he made a left onto Wilshire. She was smiling very excitedly and entered the number into her phone. She looked cute, but her teeth were blindingly white and despite wearing uber-trendy tapered skinny jeans, she was swimming in them.

· Saturday, July 8 - Leaving Acadie in Santa Monica for birthday crepe dinner when I saw a dark haired woman with bug sunglasses hurrying after small child. I had an instinctive moment where I knew I recognized the woman, but thought it was Posh Spice and that she was going to eat me. Imagine my joy, then, when I heard the voice of Kate Beckinsale telling her daughter to stop running because she might 'run into a bush'. I personally thought the twenty people on the sidewalk were a much likelier target for the young Beck's enthusiasm, but apparently Kate was unaware of us little people as she chased after the girl and smacked at her bottom, and had the youngster smack up at her bottom. Incidentally she was wearing bizarrely peach designer jeans (couldn't tell the label) and looked healthy - the recent skeletor shot was either a bad angle or photo shopped. However, I am still in dire fear of being ritually eaten by someone in bug-eye sunglasses.

· Wednesday July 5 - Stopped by WeHo Whole Foods, where I have never seen a celeb despite its chic reputation, and walked by the health & beauty aisle where a girl who looked like Anna Paquin was shopping. After getting my frozens I circled back for a second view and discovered, lo and behold, Anna Paquin! White wife beater over black bra, a usually trashy look which Anna managed to pull off with innocence and class. And her khaki shorts were filled out by actual flesh, no anorexia alerts for Ms. Paquin. She had no makeup on but looked cute and fresh, which I discovered after semi-stalking her in the deli section and then onto the dairy aisle, where I had to ask her to move and she politely obliged. It almost made me want to sit through Fly Away Home while not on a bus ride to NorCal.

· I almost collided with Adrien Grenier at the Nature Mart on Hillhurst this past Saturday afternoon (7/8). Since peeps are always mentioning their various physical impressions of him in person, I gotta say he's a lot skinnier than I expected. He was carrying a box of health food and drove off in his Prius because he cares about saving the world, according to In Style mag.

· Beverly Hill's desperate attempt to bombard me with celebrity sightings before I finally leave my crappy job here continues. This time we were walking down Camden and spotted Jesse Metcalfe skulking in a doorway while talking on his cel. The would-be John Tucker was very much alive in black T, jeans, and surprisingly hetero eyebrows. No idea why he was there or where he was heading; plenty of restaurants for him to discuss his amazing career potential with bored industry types mumbling 'of course the gardener was just the beginning.'

· Saw Jason Patric watching the World Cup final yesterday at O'Briens on Wilshire in Santa Monica. This, in and of itself, is no surprise. Mr. Patric's career as a trivia league enforcer began at O'Briens, so it's reasonable to assume he's a local. What was interesting, however, was his choice of viewing companion. Javier Bardem actually arrived before Patric, looking far more side-burned and Andre-The-Giant-ish than one might expect. Italy scored their first half-equalizer just as he walked in, and Bardem's subsequent celebration can only be described as "girlish." He bounced up and down on his toes while thrusting both fists into the air like he was in an old toyota commercial. Doubly strange, really, because once he found Patric and the two repaired to a booth, he became subdued and didn't even celebrate his team's eventual victory. Patric looked sort of handsome and smug the whole time.

· last nite (7/12) saw Michael Vartan at the lounge inside the Hotel Sofitel on Beverly and La Cienega. He was with a mountain man looking dude...He didn't look like he'd be much fun to hang out with. Maybe he's so brooding because he can't get over the fact that Jennifer left him for a has been.

· Saw Morgan Spurlock pacing in front of Teaforest in Culver City Weds 7-12 at 10:15. He was talking on his cell phone/blackberry and rocking a purple, silk(?) button-up shirt. He is tall. Got an iced drink there then walked to a Lincoln towncar and the driver opened the back door for him to get into. The license plate: Diva 66.

· 7/10 Gary Marshall riding in a golf cart in Franklin Canyon to the set of Georgia Rule (s?) I think there was some "talent" in the cart with him but I didn't recognize anyone. He looked tanned and sporty.

· Last night I saw Jessie Spano!! (elizabeth berkley) at the 9pm Pirates on the Santa Monica Promenade. She looked gorgeous and was really friendly & chatty when me and my drunk friends tried to squeeze through the row. I'm always mildly disappointed when 90s stars don't go off the deep end and turn out like Natasha Lyonne, but whatever, Showgirls ruled.

· Friday night, July 7 at The Vermont in Los Feliz Village: John Cho (of Harold & Kumar, American Pie, etc.) with a group of friends. He was quite touchy-feely with another male member of his crew, causing my companion to speculate on his sexuality. Personally, he didn't set off any blips on my gaydar.

· I saw Bai Ling eating with a heavy white man and a white woman around her age at King's Road cafe sitting outside tonight around 7:00. She looked fairly sane but trashy nonetheless. When she was leaving we saw her limping and thought she'd hurt her foot, but it turned out the thong of her flip flop had broken. She stumbled across the street with her girl friend (man left earlier) and it looked like they were having a good time.

· Spotted "Charlie's Angel" Jacklyn Smith at the Bean on Beverly and Robertson. Perfect pilates body and face looked thirty-five tops. I want her surgeon's card, or failing that, the same deal Missy has made with Satan. I couldn't help but stare; she gave me awinning smile on her way out. Bitch.

· Ok so I give The Tower Bar-at-The-Sunset-at-The-Argyle-at-The-St.James or whatever the hell its called another chance after one particularly dull Sat. night there

Sunday night is "BURGER NIGHT" (read $25 for a inferior Quarter-Ponder with Cheese) Again, at 40, I am the youngest person in the room by about 40 years; the only other occupied table is taken by Betsy Bloomingdale & Bob Colacello of Vanity Fair & some other unidentied gentleman (also AARP) 4th seat empty...I guess NANCY REAGAN couldn't make it! BB looks great for 100 or whatever.

Thank God that JOSEPH (I -did-a- Best- Picture- with- Gwyneth- but- my- brother- with- the- tricky- first- name- is- still- more- famous) FIENNES walked in; thereby lowering the odds of a "cardiac incident" occurring & paramedics being called! ugh!

· On Wednesday, 7/12, I saw Hank Azaria on Santa Monica Blvd. heading West, just past Westwood Blvd. in a brand new Aston Martin convertible. He had the top down, yapping on his cell phone, wifebeater tee. He was gesticulating wildly. I came back after lunch and told my assistant I saw the scuba man and she said she also saw him a few days earlier, same car, same top down, same wifebeater. I'm already tired of that Aston Martin convertible—all those dorks on Entourage also drive it.
saturday 7/8

· I saw Gary Busey across the street from the Cher convention at the Marriot in Woodland Hills. He was pumping his own gas (Porsche) at that gas station on Topanga right by the freeway entrance. He was wearing a big white swag t-shirt, flip flops and looked a bit overheated and puffy. Please note that proximity to Cher convention is not a sighting AT the Cher convention, but just suspect enough to mention.

· I saw Edward Furlong at Cafe 50s on Santa Monica. A guy bummed a cigarette off of him and paid him for it.

· Not sure if this is where you're supposed to send celeb sightings, but saw Travis Barker from Blink 182 at Matsuhisa last night. He rolled up with a few other guys, went inside and sat in the corner for about 30 minutes, came outside and had a smoke, spit in the gutter about 6 times (disgusting) and then left. I can't imagine they possibly had time to actually eat, but hey. They were there.

· I know this may be a little late coming, but it was such a fantastic sighting, I've decided to report it. At the June 13th Huey Lewis and the News and Chicago show at the Greek, I was sitting about 6 rows back when my eyes were essentially accosted by a man that I can only describe as a SUPERFAN. He single-handedly roused the crowd to dance, sing, scream and clap. He knew EVERY song, had innovative dance moves for every opportunity and guzzled beer like it was his job. By the end of the show, he had pushed his way to the front of the venue and was simultaneously chucking back more alcohol and dancing with women who were at least three times his age. He repeated these same antics a few nights later at the Hall and Oats show at Royce Hall at UCLA. Boy loves his oldies. Who was it? MICHAEL ROSENBAUM from "Smallville." The boy can dance and drink and has great taste in music. I am sold.

· Friday, July 7th. Outside of Trader Joe's on Santa Monica (near La Brea). Saw Henry Rollins exit the store with a single bag of groceries. Dressed like a typical punk rocker in a T-shirt and cargo shorts. Most surprising— his hair was completely gray! It probably doesn't need saying, but Henry looked very angry.

· June 29th, Radiohead concert Shawn Pyfrom, Andrew from Desperate Housewives leading his pack of dudes from the merchandies area. Amazingly, he didn't do anything evil or prick-ish.

· Hello there, long time listener first time caller. Just saw BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY at the Ventura and Laurel Coffee Bean, explaining the mechanisms by which coffee machines work to his co-venturers. He is as handsome in person as he is on the silver screen!

• INSIDE WHITNEY'S DRUG DEN! [National Enquirer via Gawker]
• Previously: Whitney Houston: "I Will Always Love Blow" [Defamer]

• Mag: Whitney back on drugs, looks terrible [Inside Track]
• Previously: Being Bobby Brown : Can He Impregnate Us Now? [Defamer]

To be honest, we're completely over Being Bobby Brown. It could really use a little more assault, preferably of the Whitney-on-Bobby variety.

• R&B Singer Pleads Guilty to Assault Charge [AP]

• I think I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life [FourFour via cityrag]
• 
  
• Whitney And Bobby Steal Your Summer