Gawker: defamer, weed

Who Does Stoner Bear Seth Rogen Need To Blow To Get His Mellow On At A 'Pineapple' Rager?

Seth — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 12:25:00 EDT

We're not sure how much we can rely on the trustworthiness of an item in Page Six about Seth Rogen's Pineapple Express-party toking habits when the gossip sheet manages to misspell the popular actor's surname three separate times—toppling previous record-holder Rosie "Rogaine" Perez as the world's most formidable Seth Rogen name-mangler. That said, take it away Page Six:

JOVIAL actor Seth Rogan [sic] found out the hard way that just because it's your premiere, doesn't mean you can do anything you want.

Rogan [sic] was at the Maxim party for his new flick, "Pineapple Express," on the rooftop of the Solamar Hotel in San Diego where, spies said, he was smoking a funny-smelling hand-rolled cigarette. One onlooker said, "He was told to put it out immediately or leave." A rep for Rogan [sic]- who told Elle this month, "I have a terrible case of I-wanna- smoke-weed- all-day" - declined to comment.

Or leave? His own weed-movie party? That's bogus. Frankly, we're surprised Rogen didn't pull out his current Stoned Actor's Guild membership card, or wave a MedicAlert bracelet in security's face with the phrase "Allergic to You Harshing on My Mellow" engraved on its underside.

WEED ALERT [NY Post]

Paris Hilton Proves You Can Never Be Too Rich Or Too Thin, But You Can Be Too Stoned

Molly Friedman — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:10:00 EDT

When it comes to values, there is no better role model than Paris Hilton. The heiress has a love for family members rich enough to post bail money, a love of puppies so strong it’s against the law, and a love for makin’ love in da club with other people’s boyfriends. But there are two things Paris cherishes more than anything in her Barbie Dreamhouse of a world: staying skinny and smoking the reefer. Which has recently presented a problem for the heiress with a heart of gold. According to the National Enquirer:

[Hilton] became concerned recently because her clothes have been growing tight and she knew she was gaining weight...’She will go to the bathroom to smoke at different Hollywood clubs, or sometimes she’ll just light up in the VIP area,’ said the source.”

So how does one choose between wearing pretty dresses and using Annie Hall's solution to having sex with an unattractive boyfriend? Paris’ decision, after the jump.

As the source claims, Paris has a charming habit of showing up to parties complaining about how much she just ate after a toking session. Which might explain her infamous lazy eye always visible in party pictures! But after a series of heartbreaking evenings spent trying and failing to squeeze into her favorite old ~~dishrags~~ gemstone-encrusted dresses, Hilton has "decided to throw away the pipe to avoid the munchies and get back to her ideal weight." Color us confused, but isn't this entire tale just a little suspicious? Last we heard, Paris doesn't even do drugs. Like, never. Like, she'll take an Adderall when she feels dizzy and stuff, but she has Never. Tried. Drugs. Then again, maybe the reason that she got her facts messed up was because she was as stoned as Snoop Dogg when she told that ~~lie~~ story on Larry King last summer. At this point, that's the best possible explanation we can come up with.

PARIS HILTON QUIT SMOKING POT TO COMBAT MUNCHIE WEIGHT GAIN [Celebitchy]

New Strain of Medical Marijuana Totally Harshing Tom Cruise's Buzz

nickm — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:29:00 EDT

Tom Cruise has personally —personally— helped hundreds of people get off drugs. And now he will indirectly —indirectly— get you stoned out of your mind! Yes, there's a new strain of medical marijuana hitting the cannabis clubs called Tom Cruise Purple. The vial it comes in has a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically, and the weed is reportedly so powerful that it makes you hallucinate to the point of seeing Overlord Xenu.

And sure, that may sound fun, but think about it. Do you really want to act like Tom Cruise when you're high? Sitting on the couch playing Xbox 360 is way better than jumping on it. Listening to Pink Floyd in your headphones is way better than dancing around to Bob Seger in your tighty-whiteys. Eating nachos is way better than... eh, you get the idea.

Anywho, if you wanna rip a sweet bong load of Tom Cruise Purple for yourself, you'd better break out that club card and act fast. Cruise's notoriously litigious lawyers are already trying to get it removed from store shelves.

[Ed. Note - If anyone happens to have some of the Purple lying around, we would LOVE it if you would forward us a photo of the container. Righteous!]

Medical high jinks leave Tom Cruise camp fuming

While the plight of celebrity munchies-sufferers...

Seth — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:56:40 EDT

While the plight of celebrity munchies-sufferers has been exhaustively documented in Pot Culture, their editors seem to forget that the communing with sweet bud by the highly recognizable masses is not something relegated to the current generation. Why, none other than Dawn Wells, Gilligan's Island's sacrificial-virgin offering to brunette-lovers, was picked up back in October for driving erratically on an Idaho highway. "A search produced four half-smoked joints and two small cases to store marijuana — which she blamed on hitchhikers." She was sentenced to a small fine and six months unsupervised probation, with her coconut bongs and hemp hammocks ordered confiscated from her ganja hut. And commenters be warned: All the Mary Ann/Mary Jane jokes have already been covered by Harvey Levin's ankle-shackled galley slaves. [TMZ]