Well, they say if you stick around in Hollywood long enough, your biggest liability will eventually turn into your most bankable asset. (Actually they don't say that, but they should.) It certainly was Aggro Batman's case, as his fist-shaking haranguing of Japanese passersby who snap his photo but fail to produce the customary $5 donation have now brought new levels of verisimilitude to his ill-tempered characterization. [YouTube]

And those skeevy onlookers — Michael Chiklis! Jeff Goldblum! Who knew Jobeth Williams had a voyeuristic streak? Close's star, meanwhile, had no comment after the ceremony, except to ask for a cigarette. We know the feeling, buddy.

[Photo Credit: AP and Getty Images/ hattip to LAist]

[Photo credit: Getty Images]

On one hand, we know the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce needs $4 million to restore the Walk. On the other, it's Hollywood! What would late honorary mayor Johnny Grant have done (besides hit up each and every one of the honorees and/or their families represented there)? Moreover, what kind of self-respecting city sanctions the vodka version of itself — in this case, some vile formula characterized after the jump as "Absolut LA":

Last month ... the chamber rejected a design that looked too much like the stars for celebrities. He said the plaque cannot be confused with a star because it is on private property and is "set back a distance from the Walk of Fame."

Absolut, however, is singing a different tune, referring to the plaque as an "honorary star" in a press release. Public relations manager Sarah Bessette said it will be "right there in front of the Kodak Theatre, near the others."

Absolut is gearing up a flashy marketing campaign to introduce its new vodka, Absolut LA, which it describes as a "progressive mix of new age flavors" such as blueberry, acai and pomegranate. "Flavored vodka as a concept has become a little bit stale," said Tim Murphy, Absolut's vice president of marketing.

Come to think of it, we could use a drink right about now.

• Some find corporate sponsorship of Walk of Fame hard to swallow [LAT]

We honestly thought there was no way their committee could outdo last year's induction for raw star-power—a dazzling display of northern lights that included Brendan Fraser, Pamela Anderson, Eugene Levy, Paul Shaffer, Robert Goulet, and Alex Trebek. We were right. Having shot their famous-Canadians load with that illustrious group, they were left with Manitoba-native Frances Bay, aka the Seinfeld marble-rye-mugging victim, whose inclusion was the direct result of a 10,000 person online petition. Also inducted this year is Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash, who, in yet another strange connection to Seinfeld, hails from a city in Saskatchewan that rhymes with a part of the female anatomy. Rounding out the group are The Kids in the Hall, kd lang, and director James Cameron, who was born in Kapuskasing, Ontario, and about whom Michael Bay noted upon learning of the honor, "I always just knew there was something vaguely fruity about that guy." Congratulations to all the inductees. You can go back home now: the Loonie is Queen!

• Steve Nash, Kids in the Hall among new inductees to Canada's Walk of Fame [CP via eyeweekly.com]
• Canada's Walk of Fame

But before anyone in a red t-shirt runs down to the Chinese Theatre to seize the crusader's épée and carve a scab's "S" into his costume, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he's just trying to infiltrate the studios, rob them blind, and distribute their loot to the scribbling underclass.

• Previously: Walk Of Fame Spider-Man May Be Too Sexy For The Hollywood Tourist Crowd [Defamer]

"It feels great to be here," said former Lollipop Guild member Maren, taking in the scene outside the Chinese Theater below an arc of rainbow balloons—a far more fitting tribute than 1981's Under the Rainbow, the crappy Chevy Chase movie that depicted them as a pack of horny, drunken savages swinging from the fixtures of the Culver Hotel.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• "Oz" Munchkins get Hollywood star [Reuters]

(Sadly, he wasn't one of the characters chosen for the excellent documentary Confessions of a Superhero, denying us—for now, at least—a deeper look into his wall-crawling psyche.) Though we're sure he would have had many illuminating things to say about the stalled negotiations between the writers and studios had he been pressed, we're glad the duo's conversation steered clear of strike-related matters in favor of somewhat less timely topics, like how Spidey's web-slinging magnetism turns passing tourists into arachnid-craving sexual predators.

• Previously: The Hollywood Blvd. All-Stars Review Britney Spears' 'Blackout' [Defamer]

As we are wont to do on such important occasions, we sent indefatigable Defamer videographer Molly McAleer down to Hollywood Boulevard earlier this afternoon to share some of Britney's new tracks with the Walk of Fame's finest critics; we don't want to spoil too many of the video's surprises (especially a cameo by a previous Defamer on the Street contributor), but even the Chinese Theatre's Man of Steel seemed willing to let Spears' music once again touch his Kryptonian heart.

• Previously: Hollywood Blvd. Reacts To Britney's Bad Night [Defamer]

· Tongues are wagging over why Hugh Laurie failed to show up to the set of House today, and instead left for England to take care of "family obligations." We'll not further the scurrilous rumormongering here, except to mumble some clichéd aphorism about not shitting where you eat, and moving on. [Variety]
· Congratulations, SAG: You've gotten a star on the Walk of Fame! (The AMPTP's can't even get a fucking chair.) That puts your fame somewhere between Erik Estrada and Ricky Martin's. She bangs! [Variety]
· HBO is developing a movie based on the Dr. Death biography Between the Dying and the Dead: Dr. Jack Kevorkian's Life and the Battle to Legalize Euthanasia. High on their casting wish list is Robin Williams, who'll don an adorable clown nose and ensure his patients giggle their way into the hereafter. [THR]

Martin's ceremony was no less a display of controlled hysteria, his appreciative statements nearly drowned out by the piercing screams of hundreds of screaming women and high-pitched men, hoisting some of the most elaborate hand-woven fan tapestries we've seen since the expansive Jamie Foxx Quilt carpeted the Hollywood & Highland central courtyard.

[Photos: Getty Images]

• Ricky Martin Gets Walk of Fame Star [ap.google.com]
• Ricky Consigue Su Estrella [WOW Report]

• Previously: Informal Polling Reveals Kanye West Outpacing 50 Cent In Local Sales Race [Defamer]

Even though current AFV host Tom Bergeron (whose tribute ad in today's Var was the one we felt most touchingly evoked his boss's contributions to television) seems like a logical choice for the job, we hope that it's longtime host Bob Saget who's been secretly tapped to complete the event by ceremonially striking Di Bona in the genitals with an oversized foam wiffle-ball bat as his slab of Hollywood immortality is laid into the sidewalk.

[ad via Digital Variety]

Charlton Heston, Jane Wyman, Cary Grant, Clark Gable, Donna Reed, Frank Sinatra and 55 other Hollywood celebrities were missing Wednesday from the Walk of Fame in the 1600 block of Vine Street.

They will be returned to Vine Street in 2009, when the W Hotel, upscale retail shops, apartments and condominiums have been built to partially surround Price's landmark Taft office building.

Eight of the terrazzo star squares crumbled when workers cut them from the walkway and carefully lifted the 6-inch-thick concrete slabs out.

"We saved the brass. They'll be rebuilt," said Tim Maxwell, project manager for Webcor Builders, which is involved in the huge project being developed in conjunction with the Los Angeles Community Redevelopment Agency.

Hollywood preservationists are not surprisingly up in arms, wondering why the private developer wasn't required to build around the landmark pedestrian thoroughfare, while the builders defend themselves by insisting the current sidewalk wasn't compliant with current codes and needed to be rebuilt anyway. Seeing as the stars have already been removed, however, we might as well seek the silver lining: Not only will the neighborhood have a handsome residential and retail complex lined by a shiny and refurbished strip of the Walk in 2009, but in the shorter term, Jimmy Hoffa's elusive remains might finally be discovered, buried deeply beneath the dislodged monument for Ol' Blue Eyes himself.

[Photo: LAT]

• Hollywood rehab puts 61 stars in seclusion [LAT]

As we all know by know, this special occasion demands the purchase of ads in the trade papers by the studios, agencies, and other interested parties wanting to maintain relationships with the honoree, so today the likes of Universal, Endeavor, and Jimmy Kimmel (actual text: "Dear Matt, Congratulations on the star and sorry we ran out of time. We'll try to squeeze you in soon. Your pal, Jimmy. P.S. This ad cost me $8,512") have lavished their compulsory love upon the pages of Variety and THR. One unexpected tribute, however, is the quarter-pager taken out by Damon's beloved Red Sox; presumably, should less frequently employed creative partner and Fenway Park ubiquity Ben Affleck ever receive his own star, the team will spring for a two-page spread to thank him for so visibly filling the seats near their home dugout during his downtime.

[Ad via Digital Variety]

• Previously: Clooney, Pitt, And Damon Achieve Hollywood Tourist Trap Immortality [Defamer]

A Chewbacca impersonator is accused of sexually assaulting a Marilyn Monroe impersonator in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then reportedly evaded arrest, police said.

According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress's hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists. [...]

Chewbacca, whose real name was not available, fled before police arrived, Torres said.

However, Torres is sure the hairy assailant would be caught soon.

As of press time, it was still unknown if this Chewbacca was the same one who head-butted a mouthy tour guide back in February and who more recently was involved in Capeless Batman's altercation with some Porta-Potty-hogging picketers. Even without this information, we trust that local law enforcement will soon capture the fugitive Wookiee, who likely won't be able to resist the temptation of returning to the scene of the crime and offering tourists the opportunity to take a Polaroid of their favorite Star Wars sidekick grabbing a handful of Busty Wonder Woman's Amazonian cleavage for a mere five dollars.

• Chewbacca Allegedly Assaults Marilyn In Hollywood [CBS2.com]
• Chewbacca wanted for sexual assaulting Marilyn Monroe [Blogging.la]
• Rampaging Chewbacca Arrested For Act Of Wookie-On-Tour-Guide Violence [Defamer]

We all know that Hollywood stinks, and today it ain't just the bums. Hollywood High School laid manure down on their football field today, and the stench has permeated every nook and cranny of Hollywood and Highland complex. The tourist reactions are priceless.

We can imagine why tourists are confused, as nearly every quality guidebook steering visitors through that section of Hollywood Boulevard mentions the area's signature "Smell of a Million Broken Dreams," always described in terms of stale urine fumes wafting off well-trodden Walk of Fame stars; being suddenly confronted by the unmistakable stench of freshly spread manure probably has them thinking that they've wandered far off their recommended path.

• Other Fun Things That Happen On Hollywood Blvd [Defamer]