In a bit of a surprise, singer Taylor Swift won the Best Female Video for her track "You Belong With Me." Sure, many of us aren't familiar with this 19-year old country girl's entertainment outputs, but that's really no excuse for Mr. West, a man so consumed by his own fame that he has no respect for fellow travelers in the starosphere, to take the mic and declare Beyonce and her silly "All The Single Ladies" video the real winner. "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time," he declared, although that's wrong on more than one level.

Honestly, Kayne, you look like an asshole. More so than usual. This poor girl had a moment to shine and, as is apparent by her reaction, you stole that and ruined what should have been a proud moment. That's mean and childish and you should be publicly shamed. Oh, wait. Your own fame guarantees that. Good.

As for Beyonce. She looked somewhat appalled, albeit under the guise of self-conscious humility. Well done, Ms. Knowles. And especially well done for inviting Swift to the stage when you won the video of the year award. A bit of class in an otherwise ugly world.

The pair are said to have enjoyed an intimate dinner last night at Hollywood's Little Red Door restaurant, where they arrived and left separately in an apparent effort to avoid being photographed together.

...Just hours before their romantic dinner last night, Russell told reporters he was back on the prowl after a three-month relationship with Australian Teresa Palmer, describing himself as 'footloose and fancy free'.

We can't decide: does dating Brand augur trouble for the disaster-prone Spears, or is it a decided case of trading up? Time will tell if their union is meant to be, but if it means that Britney will replace her Cheetos with bangers and mash, then right-o, guv!

• Just as Britney Spears is getting her life together... she goes on a date with ex-drug and sex addict Russell Brand [Daily Mail]

"I had John McCain gags pulled. And they asked me to tone down the gags about Sarah Palin. I wanted to say she was forcing her teenage daughter to have a baby because she is so anti-abortion.

"But also, as a Republican she is pro-execution so she is going to give her the electric chair for being a little slut.

"They weren't keen on that one."

Finally, something Jordin Sparks and her archenemy Brand can agree on: if Bristol Palin had simply eschewed "slutdom" and worn a promise ring like good girls do, she would never have gotten pregnant at age 17, forcing Sarah Palin to consider executing her own daughter while firing all the dinosaurs in Alaska. At last, some change we can all believe in!

• Russell Brand pulled Sarah Palin electric chair jokes at VMA [Telegraph]

"It’s something I feel strongly about,” she tells EW.com. “I wish I would’ve worded it differently — that somebody who doesn’t wear a promise ring isn’t necessarily a slut — but I can’t take it back now. It was a split-second thing, and it came out kind of wrong. Still, I don’t regret it.” Neither do the Jonas sibs, who complimented Sparks moments after the rant. As for Brand, he and Sparks shared a laugh after the show. “I have nothing against him at all,” says the singer, who insists she’s not turned off by the experience. In fact, she’d happily go back. That is, “If I get an invite.”

Of course you will, Jordin; after all, your impromptu diatribe gifted the ceremony with some desperately needed sparks (excuse the pun). We look forward to the brand-new MTV special Jordin Sparks's Wagging Finger, where MTV replays the awards show with picture-in-picture commentary from the Idol winner as she shakes her head at Katy Perry's provocative banana peeling and mutters at the tarty Miley Cyrus, "Such licentiousness!"

• Jordin Sparks 'doesn't regret' promise ring outburst at VMAs [EW]

Band member Nick Jonas told Newsbeat: "For us it's cool to see that he recognises we are gentlemen."

...The question is, did Brand misjudge the audience?

Kevin Jonas replied: "I think he focussed on certain things and didn't move off of them. People's attention spans in America need more than that."

We'd crack a joke about Kevin's low estimation of our attention spans, but we already forgot what we were going to say. No matter, as Brand seems to have taken the criticism to heart, according to Rolling Stone's backstage account:

“And I’d like to take this opportunity to say, ‘No one ever have sex again. It’s a mad idea. What a crazy way to spend an evening.’ ” Brand said he had a “lovely time” hosting the awards. “I do think it was a comeback for Britney,” he said. “This is the resurrection of Britney Spears. I saw stigmata. And, I liked when Lil Wayne leaned over and touched my legs. I think he might be from another world and he has a message for us all.” Brand also called Republicans “evil” and suggested “we need to return to socialism.”

While we can't imagine why Brand saved his Socialist jokes until the ceremony was concluded, we feel moved to defend the comedian; without his bluntly political jokes and sexual mockery, the show might as well have aired on the Disney channel. If MTV has to make stars out of clean-cut teens, we'd prefer them to be "not that innocent" and prone to writhing around with big, phallic snakes.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Jonas Brothers react to Brand [BBC]
• Backstage at the VMAs: Britney Basks in Her Wins, Brand Condemns Sex, Linkin Park Rate the Night [Rolling Stone]

i didnt go to the "VMAS" as we used to call them but theyve gotten so fucking Urban i dont know i guess Van Toffler thought ( hes an exec at MTV ) he was being edgy and he WAS by letting my darkling prince Brand host the mtv awards- but theyre not the "VMAS" and they never will be again - i had ZERO desire to watch let alone go and thats one of my very favourite people ive ever known or had the honour of being friends and fiends with hosting it so i feel horribly rude that my desire not to watch assholes with chastity rings- oh for fucks sake ive had some great conversations but not ONE has ever ended in an Orgasm, y'all need some pussy and some cock and shut the hell up-

..but fuck it, its irrelevant, i am DAMMIT CELEBRATORY- i love when a friend does well and Russell appears to have done quite well- ist not exactltya fucking rock fest at mtv its...... "date my mom" remember- and it will never revert back to reliably rock n roll- its just the economiclevel of thier decision marketing wise to "grow with thier audience"" aka save mass money on shows by just predating on peoples insane desire and frenzy to be on insanely dysfunction al reality shows for free.

Translation: Courtney Love has some quibbles with MTV (just like us!), though they're nothing that couldn't be fixed by a night at the downtown Standard, two of the three Jonases, a bottle of Veuve Cliquot, and a vial of ground rhino tusk. Should such a thing ever come to pass, we exhort you, MTV: play that video.

[Photo Credit: X17]

• How was Russell? [Myspace]

· Rob Giles at Molly Malones.
· Warner Drive at the Key Club.
· The Art of War at the Norton Simon Museum.
· Jedi Training at Disneyland.

• WATCH VIDEO

• Previously: Live! From Paramount Studios! The 2008 MTV Britney Meltdown Awards! [Defamer]

Sure, Brooke Hogan's political ignorance may be easy to pillory (though her dark horse candidate would certainly win endorsements from the bulk of last night's Moonman-accepting crowd). After all, this is the same reality star who came under fire for her belief that female menstruation should be an instant DQ for the presidency (so get cracking on that change of life, ladies!). Still, after the events of the past ten days, we can't help but see in Brooke the sort of happy optimism that remains unchanged by frightening new political polls. Sometimes, after reading about the new person Palin had fired or the books she wanted banned from the public library, all we want to do is don a low-cut dress, toss our hair from side to side, and shimmy, shimmy down the red carpet until political doom is just a bad dream on a channel far, far away from VH1. [MTV]

While most will remember the '07 Awards for the Spears trainwreck, it's also worth noting that Kanye West stated after last year's VMAs that he would "never return to MTV" because he felt slighted by having to perform in a hotel suite rather than the main stage. So it appears this decision was not only made to placate the talent, but also because holding this event at a property that they already own represents a significant cost-savings for the penny pinchers at Viacom. As they say, developing...

The source adds that while her appearance has not yet been confirmed, "the idea is to have her come on and apologize for the VMAs. She's weighing the offer." [...]

Though Spears has been keeping a low profile since the show, a source tells Us that at least some within her inner circle are receptive to the Emmy idea and are urging her to do it.

However, a source close to Spears says: "I can't say this is 100 percent not true. All I can say is that the Emmy people aren't dealing with her record company, her manager or her agents at William Morris. So if she is doing anything for the Emmys then it's not going through the official channels."

Putting aside for a moment speculation about who exactly comprises the "inner circle" mulling the idea (our best guess is that the strategic thinktank consists of Sean Preston, her other, still-unnamed baby, career-planning chihuahua Mr. Shaky, and a part-time cleaning lady with limited English skills but a kind smile), there is perhaps no one on the planet with more experience in post-trainwreck mob-mollification than Emmy host Seacrest. Even if Spears' apology (and, God willing, an entire do-over performance like the one recently offered by Extra) is met with a shower of catcalls and boos by TV Academy members upset that their big night has been hijacked by a crass, ratings-grabbing publicity stunt, the mesmerizing combination of Seacrest's blinding smile and the hypnotic cadence of his unrelenting positivity will quickly have them cheering like an auditorium full of Idol auditioners who've just been told they're all going to Hollywood.

• Emmys Source: Show in Talks With Britney Spears [USMagazine.com]