After the jump: Which on-the-cusp-of-It-boy-status actor is partaking of It Boy ritual, "one for them, one for me?"

· Twilight star Cam Gigandet and Jena Malone will star in indie drama Five Star Day, which THR celebrates by locating the two worst photos of these two actors ever taken. (Malone fares way worse.) [THR]
· The SEC has a few questions for Mark Cuban, who sold 600,000 shares search engine Mamma.com Inc. after receiving a hot insider tip that allowed him to save $750,000 by dumping his stake in the company. Just for fun, we entered "Mark Cuban Insider Trading" in Mamma. Nothing much turned up. Whatchu hiding, Mamma? [Variety]

Boomp3.com

Find Me Guilty star Vin Diesel continued to show his support for the latest action opus Babylon A.D. despite the fact that the film's director recently disavowed it. Leaving the TRL studios, Diesel said, "Babylon A.D. isn't some red-headed stepchild that you throw out with the bath water. It's a rip roaring good time with explosions and me and some more explosions. I'm not going to disown it anytime soon. I'll be there on midnight Thursday night. " Diesel expressed a desire to record multiple commentary tracks for the DVD release and has began to brainstorm ideas for the sequel. Before hopping into his limo, Diesel confidentially stated, "I hope we can get Mathieu back for the sequel."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Things quickly deteriorated from there, alas, but Kassovitz's loss is our gain today as he disowns Babylon A.D. in the most spectacular, career-immolating fashion imaginable:

"It's pure violence and stupidity," he admits. "The movie is supposed to teach us that the education of our children will mean the future of our planet. All the action scenes had a goal: They were supposed to be driven by either a metaphysical point of view or experience for the characters... instead parts of the movie are like a bad episode of 24."

The last stroke, Kassovitz says, was when Fox interfered with the editing of the film, paring it down to a confusing 93 minutes (original reports were that 70 minutes were cut from the film; Kassovitz says the number is closer to 15). ...

""I don't see how people who went through all these amazing blockbusters like The Dark Knight and Iron Man this summer will take it. ... I should have chosen a studio that has guts," he says. "Fox was just trying to get a PG-13 movie. I'm ready to go to war against them, but I can't because they don't give a s—t."

Fox was not available for comment, according to the author, but we don't mind defending the studio on the basis of its clear interest in rich "points of view" belonging to everyone from Manoj Night Shyamalan to Eddie Murphy to Space Chimps — this year alone, in fact, as evidenced by its glamorous run of greeting cards memorializing those perspectives and experiences. Furthermore, if you can't get a metaphysical hard-on watching Jack Bauer clamp jumper cables to terrorist nipples, then maybe it's your point of view that requires more worldly considerations, Matty. We're almost loath to say it, but seriously: Team Fox.

• 'Babylon A.D.' Director Mathieu Kassovitz Describes a Disastrous Production[SciFi Scanner]

Much of the cast from the original movie, and almost none of the cast (with the obvious exception of Paul Walker) from the second movie, return for this film. And they're all likely to get their own "character cars." More on this later. [USA Today]

Vin Diesel and his girlfriend, model Paloma Jimenez, have quietly become parents of a baby girl, his rep tells PEOPLE.

Diesel, 40, and Jimenez welcomed their first child on April 2.

They say fatherhood can soften even the stoniest of men—and yet as anyone who's ever seen Diesel work a movie premiere already knows, the actor's gruff exterior is just window dressing for the incorrigible goofball lying within. Yes, his equally bald baby daughter is just about the luckiest kid in Hollywood right now, with round-the-clock access to her father's dazzling array of rubberized silly-faces, and regular visits from her celebrity god-duck, Uncle Quackers.

• Vin Diesel Becomes a Father [People]

However, we should point out that things could always be worse: We could be reading an announcement about Diesel's attachment to A Man Apart 2: A Man Still Apart and looking at a photo that confuses the erstwhile action star with the similarly hairless Idol also-ran Phil Stacey.

[Update: For the record, it seems that Getty Images can't tell Diesel from Daughtry, either.]

• 2 veteran drivers on 'Fast' track for Universal [THR]

HANNIBAL A show produced by Vin Diesel: He was an African King that conquered the world. He's the greatest military strategist in the history of warfare and for the first time, we see his story, from his birth, to training to be a warrior and a king, to crossing the Alps with a herd of elephants and a multi-national army to fight back against Rome.

Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that Diesel will either be on the panel or making the trip to ComicCon to promote the series. As disappointing as that is, it's probably for the best, as the actor/producer will be spared the indignity of having to sit in a Hannibal booth, explaining over and over again to fans how the project fell to BET after every film executive in Hollywood passed on the project, refusing to be impressed by the fact that he rode in to each meeting atop a rented circus elephant to demonstrate his commitment to the general's legacy.

• Previously; Vin Diesel's Elephant Dreams Not Dead, Just Getting Smaller [Defamer]

• Diesel in deal for "Hannibal" cartoon at BET [THR/Reuters]
• Previously: Vin Diesel Watching His Elephant Dreams Slip Away [Defamer]

• Original Catalog Vin Diesel Dianne Brill Sisley 1989 [eBay]

The most persistent rumor is that he s gay. He was once linked to his Furious costar Michelle Rodriguez, but since then he s never been spotted with a girlfriend, never been seen sneaking out of L.A. s Element draped with a sloppy WB starlet. A female radio-talk-show caller in New York even confronted him about his sexuality, asking point-blank if Vin played for the other team.

I was like, How could you say that? Why would you say that? says Diesel, the smooth space between his brown eyes wrinkling up in a neat W. I m not gonna put it out there on a magazine cover like some other actors. I come from the Harrison Ford, Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino code of silence. I m not gonna do that.

For that reason, Diesel prefers dating in Europe, where he s not as easily recognized. He thinks celebrity-on-celebrity hookups are crazy. People going through your trash, taking your photo at Starbucks, mashing up your last names into a Bennifer-style punch line. It s a sucker s bet, he says.

Publicists everywhere are certainly rejoicing at Diesel's inadvertent gift to their profession, as "he prefers dating in Europe" should immediately supplant "he's just his personal trainer" as the preferred excuse for clients who linger too long between public heteroexual relationships.

• VIN-DIC-TIVE [Men.Style.Com via Towleroad]

Savor him while he's still with us, people. You are witnessing the finest premiere party actor of his generation.

[Photos: GettyImages]

• Previously: Vin Diesel: Portraits Of Ecstasy [Defamer]

Mark our words: No more! In 2006, the humans will rise again and return to red carpet dominance.

[Photos: Getty Images]

• Livestock flock to the movies [Variety]
• Previously: Vin Diesel: Portraits Of Ecstasy [Defamer]
• Inside VPage: Dakota Fanning, Pretty Dreamer [Defamer]

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Find Me Guilty (2005) [IMDb]
• Vin Diesel: Portraits Of Ecstasy [Defamer]

· There are sockets in Vin Diesel's arms and feet for the heads of four smaller Vin Diesels to connect into. Together they merge and become Vin-Diesel-Cator. To date, this has only happened once.
· Vin Diesel records critically acclaimed Black Metal albums under the pseudonym "Vintersorg" which roughly translates into English as "Winter Sorrow." He also sings for the Norwegian all star metal band Borknagar under this name.
· Vin Diesel once dug a hole to China, where he ate Chairman Mao.
· Despite being hairless, biologists believe Vin Diesel to be a mammal.

We're not at all ashamed to admit that we lost hours this weekend to the discovery of fresh facts about America's leading action-star-turned-duck-worshipping-supernanny. We can't wait until Ron Howard and Brian Grazer get around to immortalizing Diesel with a critically-acclaimed, yet intellectually barren, biopic. The Oscar-winning money shot: In the throes of inspiration, an entranced Diesel scrawls his grocery list on a window.

• Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator [4q.cc]


• Previous Vin Diesel-Related Magic [Defamer]

"I am contacting you regarding potential representation of my screenplay 'The Fartiste.' Logline: The true story of Joseph Pujol, the most popular performer in 1890s Paris: can a man with a musical ass hope to be taken seriously as an artist?
On several occasions, Johnny Depp has expressed an interest in playing Pujol (see Playboy Interview) — but I believe that this tragicomic role would appeal to several big-name actors."

Sure, Johnny Depp would bring the project immediate artistic credibility, but this really feels like it's in Vin Diesel's part to lose. Maybe we could even reteam him with his red-hot Pacifier co-star, and squeeze in a recurring "Hey, who stepped on a duck?" gag. You know, in a classy, French way.

• Behold! I am back with this gem! [Query Letters I Love]

[OK, we're done with the Vin Diesel stuff today. We promise.]

[Photos: Getty Images]

• Vin Diesel Watching His Elephant Dreams Slip Away [Defamer]
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• defamer party report: the pacifier premiere “sucks” [Defamer]