The game, which was probably invented by Barack Obama and William Ayers during a sex-having orgy with illegal immigrants, was brought to Hasselbeck's attention when she interrogated a local third grader for tips on improving her Wii Bowling score. Apparently, Wii Fit's balance board (which measures body mass index) has shown the child a frightening glimpse of his future as an obese shut-in frantically posting "FIRST!!1!!" on redstate.com blog entries. So what, Joy Behar said. Shouldn't overweight kids be told the truth? Haha, Joy, The View is no place for simple logic. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is now going to trade her Wii for a PlayStation 3, which will never tell her she looks fat (and also won't work anymore after the third time she stands on it).

• The View [ABC]

Boomp3.com

At the launch party for the block buster video game, “Fallout 3,” Courtney Cox admitted that she did in fact call Wonder Woman star Lynda Carter and planned coordinating lipstick and blouse colors. It had been a life long dream of Cox to wearing a matching ensemble with one of her childhood heroes. Cox said, “I just called Lynda up and she said, ‘I’m wearing red,’ and I just reached for my best Joker lipstick. And boom, we were like a set of twins over here.”

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

It was dark and drizzling when screenwriter Justin Marks did what many in Hollywood have fantasized during their bleakest career moments: He attacked his agent with a chain saw.

Marks hunched behind a wall, revved the chain saw motor and leaned forward. Next came the grinding, spinning sound of metal cutting through bone, the blood spattering, the agent's arm and head flying off. Marks grinned, unsheathed a shotgun and went in search of his next target: a reporter for Variety.

Marks was just doing his job — kill or be killed — in the video game Gears of War, which he plays from the comfort of a brown leather couch in his Los Angeles home. Every Thursday night, he and dozens of other up-and-comers in Hollywood turn on their Xboxes to engage in violent killing, mock each other and sometimes even talk shop.

Kudos for Marks & Co. for discovering a fun way to conduct a Hollywood mixer that doesn't have to take place at the Formosa. We hope this trend continues past its current group of up-and-comers; after all, while it's one thing for the screenwriter behind a Street Fighter movie to enjoy video games, what we're really waiting for is someone like Scott Rudin jumping online to "pwn some nOObs" at Halo 3.

[photo credit: Ringo H.W. Chiu / For the Los Angeles Times]

• Hollywood nerds turn video game night into networking opportunity [LAT]

Chloe Parker went from tycoon tot to tycoon twat... She's got it all. Daddy, money, and one of those tiny little dogs that rich people keep in their vagina... Her penthouse in Algonquin's exclusive Little Barkings district is a palace in the sky complete with a motor drawbridge, torture dungeon, and servants with scurvy. This is real estate we can only watch on television and masturbate over. (After the jump, the clip, and two screenshots from Liberty City's self-mocking version of the web; and here's blow-by-blow coverage of Grand Theft Auto's new release from Kotaku.)