Gawker: defamer, uta

UTA Riles Some With Its 'Black Boy Chained To Monkey' Lobby Portrait

Seth — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:00:05 EDT

Nikki Finke ran a story yesterday about a controversial portrait hung in UTA's new 4th floor gallery. The project is the brainchild of partner Jeremy Zimmer—whom, she points out, has courted controversy before, back in the days when he'd ignore "the complaints of women...when he used to urinate out the window of UTA's old offices." (Is that an issue? We've never heard a peep out of the smog-test facility guys beneath Defamer HQ.) The photograph in question, "Dayaba Usman With The Monkey Clear, Nigeria 2005" (pictured above), was taken by a South African photographer of some renown, Pieter Hugo. Some staffers were offended, and demanded it come down:

I'm told that, shortly after, a group of UTA employees comprised primarily of African Americans complained to the tenpercentery's human resources department that the image was "derogatory" to blacks.

"Collectively the employees of color now feel uncomfortable and unwelcome," one of the staffers emailed me when it happened. "This is not the first time racial discrimination has been exhibited at United Talent Agency, but it is the first time that it has been put on public view."

A discussion followed in which Zimmer tried to defend the artist's pedigree, but no matter how articulately he described the portrait's sensitive encapsulation of the African condition, all the employees could see was a sad looking black guy chained to a monkey. Zimmer eventually capitulated and relocated the piece to his office, allowing only A-list clients to get lost inside Dayaba and monkey's soul-piercing gazes. The affronted agents, meanwhile, went back about their baby-gobbling pursuits.

UTA's Zimmer Provoked Racial Protest [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Achieve Your Dream Of Picking Up Some Asshole's Dog's Dry Cleaning Via The UTA Job List Blog

Seth — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:32:21 EDT

For many just starting out in Hollywood, the journey begins somewhat inauspiciously at the UTA job list: It's a precious catalog of the latest assistant openings, hand-lettered on babyskin parchment scrolls, sealed in scarlet wax pressed in the agency's pregnancy-test-reminiscent logo, and handed off at twilight between cloaked agency footmen on foggy stretches of Pico Blvd. But you're in luck, because now it's also a blog! Let's see what the assistant-needy are looking for today:

10/07/2008
4th Assistant
Director of Development seeks 4th Assistant. Previous 4th Assistant took 2nd Assistant position elsewhere. Duties include assisting 3rd Assistant with 1st Assistant's personal errands and filling in for 3rd Assistant when 3rd Assistant substitutes for 2nd Assistant if 2nd Assistant is out sick or shadowing 1st Assistant, lunch pick-ups for 1st-3rd Assistants and light filing. Benefits after 3 months. Excellent opportunity for someone looking to become a 3rd assistant. 10/7

9/24/2008
Assistant - Female Celebrity/Mogul
Successful female celebrity/entrepreneur seeks trustworthy assistant. She is very high-profile so you must always be presentably and stylishly dressed, as you will be seen in paparazzi shots behind/next to her. Have had problems with assistants with bad skin in past. Must be perfectly moisturized, small unclogged pores, no blackheads, pockmarks, Café au lait spots, eczema, rosacea. Skin tone must complement celebrity in all lighting conditions. Please email resume, recent photograph and 3 references who can attest to the flawless condition of your skin (Think dermatologist, waxer, etc.). 9/24

Fret not if you happen to be weak at assistant-based integers or have a less-than-flawless complexion, as there are plenty of other options on this [if you haven't yet caught on, totally bogus] job board. So what are you waiting for? Your dreams are just 14,000 rolled calls at slightly above minimum wage without any health benefits away!

[Photo credit: Hollywood Assistant's Handbook]

UTA Job List - Where Dreamers Go To Find Assistant Jobs

End-Of-Monday Tallies Put 'Racer' At Third, UTA Minus One Emile Hirsch

Seth — Mon, 12 May 2008 20:10:00 EDT

It seems as if our reconnaissance on Speed Racer—quickly shaping up to be one of the biggest turkeys in recent Hollywood history—proved correct: The film was indeed third at the box office this weekend, taking in $18.6 million, $1.6 million short of the bloated studio estimates released yesterday. (What Happens in Vegas actually $200k more than its $2 million estimate.) And there's more Racer roadkill:

Deadline Hollywood Daily is reporting that earlier today, star Emile Hirsch informed UTA, his agency of seven years, that he would no longer be using their services. They write: "[Hirsch] is planning to park himself with his manager Sam Maydew, I'm told. 'He claims he just doesn't want an agent.'" His agent Shani Rosenzweig, meanwhile, is described as "gobsmacked" by the news, a state of shock that falls somewhere between "flabbergasted," "blindsinded," and "OMFG" on the stunned-reaction spectrum. It will certainly be a sad moment this coming awards season when he and Rosenzweig aren't able to share in any accolades bestowed upon the young actor for his physically taxing performance as an overcaffeinated AV club geek in Gus Van Sant's Milk.

More 'Speed Racer' Fallout: Emile Hirsch Exits United Talent; "Total Shocker" [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
'Speed Racer' comes in 3rd as 'Iron Man' maintains grip [AP]

Screenwriter Agency-Hopscotch For Visual Learners

Seth — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:25:00 EDT

Were you, like us, rendered an incapacitated, drooling mess after trying to slog through Variety's report on the agency-defection madness currently gripping the screenwriting trade? Perhaps you are simply a visual learner, in which case we've drafted for you a handy pictorial guide to the recent comings and goings of the Bedhopping Six. (We managed to find photos of all them, save the Google Image-shy husband-wife team of Cormac and Marianne Wibberley, the National Treasure writers instead represented by Nicolas Cage wielding a torch inside Mt. Rushmore's Teddy Roosevelt nostril.)

And why the sudden case of itchy feet? Posits Variety:

Writers and their agents say that the post-writers strike and pre-actors strike funk has ramped up agency raiding of rival clients...Add in stress-inducing factors — expected post-strike writing assignments that never materialized; studios squeezing quotes on the few jobs that do exist; studios having filled out slates through 2009; and the lack of greenlights until a SAG deal is in place — and the combination is a perfect storm of anxiety that has made talent, writers included, particularly susceptible to sweet talk from other agents.

Or maybe they're just promiscuous rep-sluts, in dire of a Dr. Drew® Intervention™.

Top Hollywood scribes making moves [Variety]

All Grown-Up Miley Cyrus Goes Agency Hopping to UTA

STV — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Congratulations to the gang at United Talent Agency, who last weekend offset a series of high-profile defections with the addition of Mitchell Gossett — the Agent to the Child Stars who brings along top client and recent teenagers-fucking firebrand Miley Cyrus. Nikki Finke had the news Saturday, reporting that Billy Ray Cyrus would be tagging along out of Gossett's former headquarters at Cunningham Escott Slevin Doherty, sort of a halfway house for transitioning young talent (and, evidently, their middling parents). Finke notes that it's anyone's guess how Miley's Vanity Fair bedsheet-rocking played into the deal, but the timing seems clear enough to us.

That said, according to Variety's Michael Fleming, Miley's Hannah Montana deal stays at CESD, as do the rest of the pacts Gossett made on behalf of young clients AnnaSophia Robb, Taylor Momsen, Hunter Parrish and a half-dozen others who will join him at UTA. The agency's beleaguered boss, Jim Berkus, expressed his joy as only he can: "Working with Mitchell is a logical extension of our core belief of finding and developing emerging talent. We are also excited about the opportunities that present themselves for these artists in the music, fashion and marketing universes." Translation: Secretary! Do we have Annie Liebovitz's number?

Miley Cyrus Changes Hollywood Agencies [DHD]
UTA adds Gossett to talent unit [Variety]

Johnny Depp Latest to Agency-Hop as Tracey Jacobs Heads to Endeavor

STV — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:15:00 EDT

Word over the Defamer transom this morning suggests yet another high-profile agency move, with UTA partner Tracey Jacobs reportedly packing her bags (and clients including Johnny Depp) for the greener pastures of Endeavor. Jacobs' departure would follow that of her colleagues Nick Stevens, Sharon Sheinwold and Lisa Hallerman earlier this month, further driving rumors of a UTA merger or sell-off as the talent division melts down.

Jacobs joined UTA in 1998, bringing along Depp, Joan Cusack, Vincent D'Onofrio and filmmakers Lasse Hallstrom and Mark Pellington from her previous perch at ICM. Those names will join her at Endeavor, which bulked up considerably this month with Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller (the latter leading Stevens' "comedy wheel" exodus) signing on across Wilshire Boulevard. No comment yet from Jacobs or leadership at either agency, though we presume UTA boss Jim Berkus should have an anonymous Craigslist post offering surplus office furniture online by the end of the day. Let us know if you spot it.

UPDATE: Looks like Tracey Jacobs is staying put ... for now.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Hollywood talent leery of stock-option deals, but agencies enthusiastic

Jackson West — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 20:00:00 EDT

Cash money, not equity, is what powers the entertainment industry. Especially when it comes to talent. In a possibly apocryphal but illustrative anecdote, legendary bluesman Albert King reportedly refused to leave the stage until he had cash in hand from the concert promoter, presumably because he'd been cheated out of so many deals in the past. Studio accounting has an only slightly better reputation than that of the music industry when it comes to being, ahem, creative. Hence it's no surprise that when negotiating venture funding for Funny Or Die, Will Ferrell reportedly wanted to know what his upfront payout would be, according to Sequoia Capital's Mark Kvamme in comments to the New York Times. Which is one reason why private equity efforts to fund traditional film and television production have yet to pan out. Better to get your money upfront and walk away in case the project is a disaster. So how is Valley money changing Hollywood business models?

Primarily through new ventures that not only go around the studios, but around traditional distribution entirely. While the networks and studios all have subsidiaries producing content strictly for online distribution, the talent contracts are still typical pay-as-you-go deals (and meager at that). Agencies have been most enthusiastic about new busines models — probably because they're already realizing efficiencies in terms of talent discovery using the Internet, which allows them to get around scouts and managers and reach new faces easily and cheaply.

A number of agencies have begun embracing new models. 60frames, an online video startup, took $3.5 million in venture funding and was incubated by the United Talent Agency. Creative Artists Agency is assembling a $200 million venture fund with partner Draper Fisher Jurvetson. International Creative Management is reportedly talking to Qualcomm about raising their own cash. And William Morris has helped back a $500 million SPAC to fund M&A deals, with Ashton Kutcher serving on the board. The draw for the agencies is the ability to own a piece of the company that distributes work from their own talent stables.

The only problem is, that gives them a conflict of interest when negotiating with the studios. Why pitch deals to the studio for the standard 10 percent cut when in-house deals would result in agency fees and back-end profits? And no one knows how this will shake out for talent. As LivePlanet producer Sean Bailey pointed out to reporter Laura M. Holson, "People in Silicon Valley too want their pound of flesh."

(Photo by Getty/Sharon Dominick)

Doom-and-Gloom 'LAT' Surveys Scenes From the Post-Apocalyptic Agency Landscape

STV — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:50:00 EDT

Seeing as the L.A. Times wouldn't rush any story it couldn't retract in disgrace a few weeks later, John Horn took his sweet time pounding out today's analysis of all the dramatic agency-hopping exploits over the last week-and-a-half. There's a little bit of a long view, here, however, and it's decidedly ugly; for starters, could industry volatility force CAA reps to endure the horrors of — gulp — business class? Or worse?

"Market forces are affecting the agencies," said Scott Harris, the head of Innovative Artists, a boutique outfit that represents top Broadway actors (Patti LuPone, Adam Pascal) and a number of established names, including Frank Langella, Ving Rhames and Marilu Henner. "Sometimes we have to manage expectations down. What someone made five years ago, the market may no longer bear." ...
Several managers — and more than a few agents — said the recent poaching is having a deleterious impact on the business. Rather than focusing on carefully building a career, these people say, some agents nowadays favor high-profile deals over strategic advice.

It's one thing to get a client a private jet and a fat cut of a film's profits, said UTA partner Jeremy Zimmer, "but it's also really exciting and emotionally satisfying to see someone's first movie premiere at Sundance or put someone to work who hasn't worked in a year."

We're encouraged to see moral rewards reclaim their status among dealmaking considerations — especially at UTA, where the recent defections of comedy super-agent Nick Stevens, Ben Stiller and virtually anyone who has had his name on a movie poster with him since 2003 promise a brave new era of phone-line sharing, cubicle consolidation and unisex bathrooms on every other floor. Next to go: Private e-mail, thus requiring a trip to Kinko's for agents faxing anonymous, client-hating poems to Nikki Finke.

Behind the talent-agency shakeups [LAT]

A Week Of False Terribles

Mark Graham — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:00:00 EDT

As we put this week to bed, it's time to reflect, project, deflect and genuflect on the week that was...
· Big week for Gorgeous George Clooney. His passion project, Leatherheads,
disappointed at the box office (twice!), he was on the receiving end of a threatening phone call and his sand-loving girlfriend turned his bachelor pad into Yankee Candle outlet. Ah, who are we kidding? He can still pull digits with the best of 'em.
· Ellen Page butched it up on Leno and may (or may not!) have dissed Hanoi Jane.
· Certainly, Tom Cruise has had better weeks. MGM tried to spin Valkyrie's second release date pushback as a B.O. ploy, but we knew better.
· Artie Lange and Charlton Heston both had shitty weeks, too. Artie resigned from the Howard Stern Show and Charlton, well, he died.
· The hackiest hack that ever hacked, Uwe Boll, found himself on the wrong end of an online petition that might just end his career (fingers crossed!). Howevs, he was able to leverage the power of the internet to fight back ... twice!
· It was Musical Chairs week at Hollywood's biggest talent agencies. Bob DeNiro bolted from CAA (spurring a hilarious poison pen post from the Death Star), Nick Stevens led one of "the biggest agent migrations in years" when he bolted from UTA to Endeavor and a finch with a mean streak wreaked havoc at CAA shortly after Ashton Kutcher became the agency's newest client.
· Teri Hatcher and Clint Black learned that they're both better off sticking with their day jobs.
· After publicly (and somewhat shadily) announcing that he and his wife were victims of an alleged extortion attempt by his nanny, Rob Lowe displayed the keen ability to turn an adjective into a noun when he coined the term "false terribles."

Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Rest of UTA Comedy Mafia in Play as Nick Stevens off to Endeavor

STV — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:00:00 EDT

The Hollywood Reporter calls it "one of the biggest agent migrations in years." Nikki Finke screamed "Shocker!" We'll wait until the dust settles before determining exactly how to characterize the moves of UTA talent kingpin and co-owner Nick Stevens and partners Sharon Sheinwold and Lisa Hallerman over to Endeavor, a relocation that has already cost UTA its relationship with Stevens' client Ben Stiller, looks ready to claim Jack Black and could continue to draw a sizable chunk of UTA's deep comedy base — including Judd Apatow, Owen Wilson, Jason Lee and half the cast of Saturday Night Live — in the days and weeks to come.

News of the move broke Friday night, and by Saturday afternoon Stiller was telling the Reporter's Gregg Kilday: "I think Nick Stevens is a unique entity in this business: an agent with integrity, a point of view and most of all humanity. ... I would be with him if he was working out of the Sunglass Hut at the Beverly Center." Of course, Stevens rep was for working out of anywhere but the UTA office, which was a nagging bone of contention with the board that was trying to edge him off while keeping him and his golden geese — whose creative partnerships and overlaps have earned over a billion dollars globally since 2000 — in the talent department fold he'd maintained since 1995.

Obviously, that could have gone better. UTA brass, who had in recent weeks seen high-profile client departures like Kate Bosworth and Vince Vaughn, limped through the weekend telling anyone who would listen that no, it's not merging with Paradigm, and no, it's not for sale. Chairman Jim Berkus went on the defensive to say that UTA allowed as much rope as it could before things became untenable. We don't doubt it, but in any case, Stevens is the Salinger of talent agents and won't be giving his side of the story anytime soon. Watch for the talent defections to continue as Stevens settles in across Wilshire; share your tips if you see any comics jaywalking.

UTA partners move to Endeavor [THR]
Shocker! UTA's Nick Stevens To Endeavor... [DHD]

Why Did Vince Vaughn Phone-Dump His Reps?

Seth — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:05:32 EDT

If you're the average superstar, surrounding yourself with a dream-team of handlers is probably the single most important decision you'll make: Any weak link in the commission-claiming chain can result in the kinds of career missteps that result in disastrous tumbles down the Hollywood food chain, where you'll soon find yourself groveling for any elephant-voicing breadcrumbs the studios are still willing to toss your way. (Needless to say, with plenty of strings attached). Vince Vaughn knows this all too well, and he's reportedly disposed of his entire team in one phoned-in management massacre. From the Deadline Hollywood Daily exclusive:

I've confirmed that Vince Vaughn has axed both his manager Eric Gold and his agency United Talent. Someone close to Vince just told me he did it by cell phone.

He's still with his attorney Debbie Klein. He'd been a UTA client since 1993 (three years before his breakout Swingers, which was partly filmed in the apartment of an agency assistant) and a Gold client since 2005's Wedding Crashers. [...]
Vaughn is telling people today that he made the moves because his manager and his agency "didn't get along at all" and it was too much drama in his life.

While the justification of infighting amongst his people is a nice deflection, we're certain that both sides would have readily smoothed over any perceived differences had they known their $20 mil-per-picture client's patronage was on the line. No, we suspect Vaughn's frustrations were over creative strategy, and The Wedding Crashers star opted to burn it all down and start from scratch, rather than subject himself to even one more pitch in which he'd be called upon to play "Leonard Toothfairy, the loutish brother-in-law of the legendary dental pixie."

Vince Vaughn Fires Agency And Manager [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

UTA's Assistant-Dehumanization Campaign Surprisingly Unpopular With UTA Assistants

Seth — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 20:10:11 EST

We turn now to the toiling assistant underclass, thanklessly shoveling call-rolling coal into the giant furnaces of the majestic agenting ships that dominate the Hollywood seas. (Forgive us. We're tired and all we can manage are Titanic-inspired metaphors right now.) Sadly, it's news of yet another dehumanizing blow to their ranks, as UTA higher-ups circulated a memo today informing assistants they would no longer have e-mail addresses using their own names. Instead, their new e-mail addresses would reflect their parasitic dependency on their desk-lamp-launching host-agents. The memo:

UTA is changing the email address formula for its assistants, so you should now email me at:
agentfirstagentlastasst@unitedtalent.com

Sorry for any inconvenience.

But wait! After the jump! An assistant ¿¡Revolución!?

After much grumbling, a second companywide e-mail was circulated:

Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2008 4:01 PM Subject: EMAILs HAVE BEEN CHANGED BACK....
Due to a minor interoffice uprising, UTA assistant emails have been
changed back to their original addresses.

You can now reach me at:

lastnamefirstinitial@unitedtalent.com

Sorry for any inconvenience.

So let us rejoice for this small victory on the part of the unsung Hollywood assistant, now reachable by personalized e-mail, as well as by Intel-brand tracking chip implanted deep into the subcortex via modified air-hammer type device.

unitedtalent.com