EW.com reports that Paula's first post-resignation gig will be guest spot on Ugly Betty. She'll play a temp secretary who bonds with ditzy receptionist Amanda, who is basically Paula Abdul in a headset. Before then, she'll guest star on Drop Dead Diva, Lifetime's show about a woman who dies and finds herself without a job on America's most popular TV show, we mean, trapped in the body of a fat lawyer. Anyway, both sound ridiculous.

But the news today is that ABC wants more out of her than a guest starring role. Network head wants her not as a judge, but as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars and possibly with a show all her own. Oh, we can only dream!

Oh, and the New York Times reveals today that Paula left American Idol because of money concerns and because she never felt like she was appreciated. But then again, you knew that already.

ABC announced today that it would bench Betty in March to make way for Samantha Who and the Megan Mullally-terrorized Motherhood, then return the America Ferrara vehicle after those two sitcoms complete their runs. However, as Michael Ausiello points out, that would be June (at the earliest).

The move is only the latest pratfall for Betty, which ABC has tinkered with constantly in the hopes of recapturing its first-season ratings (though many of the show's early elements—including executive producer Marco Pennette, the Los Angeles set, and Rebecca Romijn as a transsexual—have been jettisoned). At least if ABC shelves Betty entirely, Ferrera can always guest on her best friend Blake Lively's show. Oh, wait.

• ABC shuffles comedy slate [Variety]

This is the deep question facing us today, as insane Flipping Out star Jeff Lewis and Ugly Betty actress Ashley Jensen (the Scottish chick) tangle in a war of words, threats, and lawsuits. Each is on a show that is among television's campiest, so when these two players go to war, does it produce an ironic overload, or will the anecdote collapse inward on itself like a souffle?

According to the documents filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Jensen and [her husband Terence] Beesley live next door to a house Lewis is currently renovating in the tony Los Feliz section of the city. The couple took issue earlier this year when they realized a deck Lewis had constructed on the fixer-upper home had encroached on their pricey property. [...]

After all parties were alerted to the violation, Jensen and her hubby claim that Lewis offered them $10,000 to buy an easement and simply let the deck stand. However, after consulting with other real estate experts, the couple say they were informed that the property Lewis had encroached upon was actually worth $100,000—10 times the amount of his lowball sum.

Clearly unhappy with the new figure, Lewis, the papers claim, paid a late-night visit to his neighbors' home and countered with a $30,000 offer, as well as a threat to make their lives miserable and generally talk nonstop smack about them on the new season of his show.

Apparently it wasn't the best business tactic.

As a result of Jensen and Beesley's lawsuit, which also named Lewis' business partner and reality-show costar Ryan Brown, earlier this week the court issued a temporary restraining order against Lewis, ordering him to stay 50 feet away from Jensen's home and not harass, assault or trespass on the property.

Perhaps things would have gone more smoothly if an inattentive Lewis hadn't mistaken a visiting America Ferrera for his housekeeper Zoila, barking, "Zoila, PLEASE get me a drink that's 70 percent bourbon, 20 percent punch, 10 percent I'm gonna kick this Ugly Betty broad's ass all the way down Hillhurst if she won't give in. You want your gays to keep watching your show? Then don't mess with the guy who nets Bravo consistent highs in HH and total viewers!"

• Jeff Lewis Flips Out on Ugly Betty Star [E!]

One production source said, "It was a mess. Lindsay would show up every day with an entourage of people. She smoked 24/7, and after she left, they had to repaint her dressing room it was such a mess."

In addition, Lohan "would obsessively cut pictures of herself out of the tabloids like she was creating some sort of scrapbook and refused to go on set until America was there - it was a power play."

One episode, titled "Granny Pants," was about how Lohan, playing Betty's high school nemesis, would "de-pants" Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan's pants instead. "Lindsay wasn't wearing any underwear," the source said. [...]

But a Lohan pal fumed, "Bull [bleep]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America's fault. They were rehearsing the scene and America wasn't supposed to pull Lindsay's pants down - but she did. Lindsay was so embarrassed, she started crying."

Indeed, some of the latest and priciest G-strings, made from hi-tech Japanese microfabrics, are virtually invisible to the naked eye, and could easily have explained the confusion over whether or not recovering anti-pantyite Lohan had relapsed.

• LOHAN'S 'BETTY' GIG CHOPPED [NY Post]

Boomp3.com

Ms. Betty Suarez herself AKA America Ferrera continued to haunt and torment her Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants co-star Blake Lively during a Gossip Girl shoot in Times Square on Tuesday morning. Lively thought that Ferrera’s gigantic eyes were rolling each time she spoke and was unable to concentrate on the scene. A crafty collective of interns and production assistants concocted an elaborate stack of apple boxes, c-stands and light reflector boards to block the nerve-racking billboard.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

On her way to the Ugly Betty premiere party, Lindsay Lohan threw up a preemptive elbow to ward off any unruly and pushy photographers. Lohan said, “I didn’t want to use my bag the other night and I don’t want to use this tonight. I haven’t used any lotion in a few days on purpose, and now my elbow is rough like sand paper.” The political blogger hoped that she could reach a peace accord with the photographers, but only time will tell. Lohan said, “I sincerely hope we can be cool with each other, just like a bunch of Fonzies.”

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

"Like, if you're watching The Hills or 90210, all the backstabbing shapes the way we act," the Seventeen cover girl says in the magazine's October issue.

"I mean, I love Blake [Lively]; she's a wonderful friend of mine, but shows like Gossip Girl kind of condition us to be mean."

As opposed to shows like Ugly Betty, which leaven the acid-tongued remarks from characters like Marc, Amanda and Wilhemina with wan, easily fast-forwarded subplots involving the dad's immigration issues! America, while we see your point about girl-on-girl crime, rolling your eyes at your friend and bashing her show in the press might not be the most effective way to illustrate it... though it would make for a fabulous Gossip Girl C-plot!

• America Ferrera: Gossip Girl Makes Us 'Mean' [People]

Boomp3.com

On the set of the popular ABC series Ugly Betty, Lindsay Lohan ushered in the next big fad in celebrity fashion: cheerleader outfits. Taking a page out of Heroes star Hayden Panettiere's playbook, Lohan ordered the uniform online and it has been a perfect fit ever since. Lohan said, "People are always on my case about my leggings or not wearing a bra. With this uniform, who's going to bust my shit? It's wholesome. It reminds everybody how awesome their high school experience was. And if you're bored at work, you can cut out my photo and turn me into your fantasy football team's mascot." Lohan explained that she did not want to be any one's scapegoat if their fantasy team lays an egg this season. Lohan added, "It's not my fault that you went with Reggie Bush instead of someone dependable like a Marion Barber."

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Tongues were wagging on the set of Ugly Betty on Thursday morning when bystanders were asked to answer the age-old question: Was that a pick or a scratch? A fistfight nearly broke out at the craft service table between two crew members with differing opinions, but fortunately a makeup artist intervened and restored order to the chaotic situation. The makeup artist said, "Tony, you're right. It's a scratch, but we don't have to knock the hummus over because of it."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Blake Lively/Bridget: With only one credit behind her before the first Pants, 1998’s Sandman, Lively got her big break as Bridget the jock. Even though no one knew who she was at the time, she built her buzz by appearing in a few cheesy movies like the Justin Long vehicle Accepted. But now, thanks to Gossip Girl and its sultry appeal (ratings be damned!), Lively is arguably the boldest name on the sequel’s marquee.

America Ferrera/Carmen: Cast as the not-so-pretty one who most magically fit into the same jans all four girls kept handing off, America is obviously the biggest success story when it comes to acting cred (an Emmy), ratings (Ugly Betty), and general public appeal (we don’t even want to think about counting how many magazine covers with the hed “America The Beautiful!” she’s appeared on in the last two years).

Amber Tamblyn/Tibby: Having blown away TV critics as the lead in Joan of Arcadia the same year Pants came out (and racking up Golden Globe and Emmy noms along the way), Tamblyn was a shiny bright new fixture on the circuit. But the only notable film Tamblyn has appeared in since? The Grudge 2. Oops. The only reason we can think of for Amber’s dimming star? Michelle Trachtenberg. Sort of the more telegenic, tabloid-friendly version of Tamblyn, with all sorts of Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson sloppiness to keep the kids entertained.

Alexis Bledel/Lena: Pants came out at the height of Gilmore Girls’ gooey success, just before new writers took over and turned the show into an even faster-paced linguistic mess of confusion. And Bledel was the biggest draw among all four, cast as the “pretty” one with the heftiest romantic plotline and most cinematic backdrop (finding love in Greece). But the only upcoming flick on Bledel’s radar at the moment — aside from Pants 2 — is a comedy with Michael Keaton (which would've been a great gig in the late 80s, but today? Not so much). And the last time we saw her out and about was at the 2006 fashion shows alongside then-boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia — while Milo’s struck gold in Heroes, Alexis has yet to find a similarly cozy rebound gig.

[Photo credits: Getty]

• UGLY BETTY'S AMERICA FERRERA SHOWS HER PRETTY SIDE AT NEW YORK PREMIERE [Daily Mail]

boomp3.com

During a down moment on the New York set of Ugly Betty, American Ferrera asked her co-star Judith Light a question that had been bugging her for years. Specifically, she wanted to know who actually was the boss on the popular 1980s series of the same name. Light fondly reflected on the series and explained to Ferrera that the title was a merely a metaphor for how we're the boss of our own destiny and fate. Ferrera nodded and asked Light if her character on the show was the boss of the character Tony Micelli. Light said, "Oh yeah. I mean, she signed his paycheck. She was the boss."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

And while it's early to start making such pronouncements, we'll go out on a limb and say that both Lohan and America Ferrera are looking at Emmy nods for a challenging sequence in which Lohan's character attempts to pawn off an eight-ball onto the show's jolie-laid heroine before their warden/field-hockey-coach Miss Bunt can discover it in the pocket of her cokeshorts. And in other Lohan news, the actress will star in Labor Pains, reports Page Six, "about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired." It should be a cakewalk for the young actress, as she's been known to visit the old "morning sickness" well more than once when rendered too incapacitated to make it to that day's call-times.

• Lindsay Lohan on Ugly Betty — FIRST PICTURES [JustJared]
• LINDSAY IN LABOR [NY Post]

On last night's Gossip Girl, they were able to toss off references to Tinsley Mortimer, the Waverly Inn, and Page Six (among lots of others) with the ease of an up-on-the-gossip local. It just feels a bit more organic. Couple these timely references with all the around-town sightings and paparazzi photos, and you blur the line between the reality and the fiction. Coverage of the show is everywhere and multi-faceted. It's like living the show in real-time! If blogs and whatnot are chattering away about where a show is filming, who saw who where, etc. then you've got instant, sort of "unearned" buzz. And, yeah, it's basically free. This may seem annoying to some, but it does get people curious and watching. This isn't to say that Ugly Betty has quite the same rabid cult following as teeny drip shows like Gossip Girl, or that the solid hit needs much help, but still the potential is there for some "oh look there they are!" excitement. Plus, on location just looks better. Oh Michael Urie, where aaare youuu?

Yes, according to Showbiz Spy, none other than cell phone thrower and luggage assaultress Naomi Campbell is confirmed to guest star in the season finale as well. While we doubt Campbell would lower herself to playing any kind of burger flipper, the two lawbreakers will presumably come into contact at some point during filming. And the potential scenarios are endless: will Naomi, in a frantic moment of jealousy over Lohan's extensions, plant powder in Lindsay's fast food costume pockets? What if Lindsay relapses on set and passes out in the vicinity of Campbell's diamond-encrusted Blackberry, prompting the supe to repeatedly throw it at the unconscious Lohan until she comes to? More frightening (and most plausible), the two will likely become BFFs and plot complicated schemes to do all of the above to poor America Ferrera. Good girls, sadly, tend to finish last.

[Photo credits: Getty]

• LINDSAY LOHAN BACK IN TALKS WITH UGLY BETTY [TVG]

Among the most deserving members of the group are, in no particular order:

Jim Halpert on The Office: because laughter is everything. Plus, he's tall.
Ned on Pushing Daisies: Tall, too! And he makes pies. While wearing an apron. With perfect hair and dreamy eyes and that tall, lean frame...let's just say we'd forgive him if he accidentally killed us.
Amanda Tanen on Ugly Betty: If we swung that way, this would be our girl (free clothes!), and from our imagined male point of view, well, same thing: free suits!
Michael and George Michael Bluth from Arrested Development: Best. Threesome. Fantasy. Ever. And afterwards, Michael Cera might bake you cookies, while Jason Bateman played you his favorite records!
Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks: Sure, not Swimsuit Issue-worthy (at least back then, but these days in ER, yum), but in a way, Lindsay was the original Juno MacGuff.

And the incomprehensibles:

Jack Bauer from 24: While we genuflect thrice daily to a poster of the real-life Kiefer, we are going to have to strongly oppose the choice of Jack Bauer. Are we the only ones who happened to catch the fact that his wife was tortured, raped and killed? Yeah, dreamboat for sure.
Jack Shephard from Lost: Yes, Matthew Fox is a fox, there is no doubt. And yes, he's a doctor, and sure, he may have saved, oh, a trillion or so lives. But he's got daddy issues, and we're not into being bossed around, even if it means saving the world (or whatever the fuck they're trying to save this season).
Dylan McKay from Beverly Hills: 90210: Again, hot. But as much as Brenda Walsh infuriated us with her teeth and her moody/wannabe actress/princess-y tendencies, we'd have dumped the too-cool-for-school druggie just on the basis of Squint Addiction.
Summer Roberts from The OC: We've been known to act a little high-maintenance from time to time, but this Cali girl took the term to new heights of offensiveness. Plus, she kinda strikes us as one of those high-school girls who'd pretty much just lay there and blab on her cell while you're pumping away.
Bree Van De Camp from Desperate Housewives: Seriously? Of all the (admittedly impossible-to-choose-from) old frumps on this old frump of a show, EW readers want the shrill ice queen in their sack? Thin lips + bony legs = thanks but no thanks.

And finally, the most crucial void on the list, the most adorable, dateable, loveable visage ever to cross our screens, was inexcusably uninvited to join the list of Effables: Bret from Flight of the Conchords. We don't know about you, but every episode has been permanently saved on our DVR and played repeatedly, from noon to night, to the dismay of our roommate. We'll let you tell us who the EW readers scathingly excluded from the list in the comments!

• READER PICKS: TV CHARACTERS YOU'D DATE [EW]

There was some discussion last night at the NBC Universal party at Spago about Co-Chair Ben Silverman's enviable array of Emmy seating choices. Silverman could (and some say should) sit with the rest of his NBC executive brethren. Or he could sit with the camera-ready nominees for "The Office" or "Ugly Betty" (both of which he executive produces and are nominated for outstanding comedy series).

The verdict was a compromise: Silverman sits with the nominees, but in the NBC "Office" camp.

Should "Betty" win, there's the tricky etiquette question of whether the NBC executive should join the flock of "Betty" producers accepting an award for an ABC show. The consensus: Yes. Definitely. In fact, given recent jousting in the press, some at NBC relish the prospect of their programming leader taking the stage to represent their competitor's hit.

Before you dismiss Silverman's dilemma as trivial, realize that a failure to be decisive in such matters can make a conflicted executive look like a schmooze-happy, opportunistic seat-hopper. Then again, with virtually no one watching the program and the industry-etiquette stakes already lowered by the fact that this was a television event, it's possible that no one would have noticed or cared if Silverman took a place behind proud ABC president Steven McPherson at the ceremony and mouthed "I gave him Ugly Betty! I OWN this guy!" during America Ferrera's victory speech.

• Seating Silverman [TV Week]
• Previously: Getting To Know Ben Silverman IV: A Perfect Storm Of A TV Executive [Defamer]

Victoria Beckham has landed her first acting role on prime-time U.S. television, appearing as herself in an episode of the popular comedy "Ugly Betty," the ABC broadcast network said on Thursday.

Beckham, the fashionista wife of English soccer player David Beckham, will play a celebrity bridesmaid in an episode of the popular show based on life at a fashion magazine. The episode will be filmed in the autumn.

Finally, after years of hard tanning, Posh's great American Dream has been realized. We applaud the producers for their generosity of spirit and wise stunt-casting: Not only might it give us the chance to watch Mrs. Beckham struggle to twist her face into a second expression, but propping Posh's toothpick frame up next to Betty is perfect for perpetuating the absurd premise that America Ferrera is even remotely plump.

• Victoria Beckham Turns 'Ugly' for Betty [REUTERS]

As audience members were still dabbing their tear ducts with linen napkins in response to America Ferrera's moving acceptance speech for her Best Actress In A Television Series - Musical or Comedy win for Ugly Betty, off-camera goons clearly directed the overcome young actress Maria Menounos's way for her mandated, "You just won a Golden Globe! How does that make you feel?" moment of backstage awkwardness. Ferrara stood helplessly as Menounos parroted the prattle fed into the earpiece skillfully hidden beneath her flat-ironed hair, then bravely attempted an escape before tear-gas and tazer-equipped NBC gold coats helpfully ushered her back in front of the camera so she could answer such pressing, big-moment-deflating questions as, "What do you say to all those people out there who did not want you to play Ugly Betty?" before fearfully rejecting her interrogator's insistent demands that she use the compulsory screen time to provide a list of names she might have forgotten to thank in her acceptance speech.

• Maria Menounos Vs. Ugly Betty [Google Video]