• The Wrap reports that despite grossing over $300 million to date in their world tour, U2 is only just on the brink of breaking even — just as the tour is about to shut down for the summer. The expenses of hauling around its giant spider-like prong stage are so immense that despite months of sold out shows they are only just putting their heads above the waterline. According to the piece, however the band, sees the tour as a way of continuing to pump some excitement into the franchise as they enter their twilight years. [The Wrap]

• The weekend box office has been abandoned to the monsters. Pre-Halloween fight films will dominate this weekend with Saw 4 and the continued expansion of Paranormal Activity each tracking in the $25 million range. [LA Times]

• District 9 Director Neill Blomkamp has signed up for his next picture. Media Rights Campaign has committed to financing his sophomore outing, an untitled, unexplained project which will go before cameras in mid-2010. [Variety]

• In his overview of the TV season to date, The Hollywood Reporter's James Hibberd sees the networks, or most of them, staging a bit of a comeback, with a surprising number of new shows actually connecting. Glee, Modern Family, The Vampire Diaries and NCIS: Los Angeles are cited as success stories. The one very dark spot in the network picture continues to be, of course, the black hole of NBC. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Dreamworks has ordered a script for a live action version of the Japanese animated classic Ghost in the Shell. Shutter Island screenwriter Laeta Kalogridi will take a first stab at the project. [Variety]

• Anne Hathaway and Neil Patrick Harris have signed on to do voices in Fox's upcoming Rio, by the animation team that brought you Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. [Hollywood Reporter]

boomp3.com

Before embarking on a sailing expedition to U2 front man Bono's house, silver fox George Clooney went over all the safety procedures for the yacht with his passengers. After his presentation — which included a PowerPoint slideshow explaining which side is port and which is starboard — Clooney wore a life preserver until the seafaring vessel docked at Bono's. While some of his passengers laughed at him, The Cloonester stood firm, largely because his aunt Rosemary always told him that he should be a leader, not a follower.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

In an attempt to scare away an swarm of photographers surrounding U2 front man Bono's French home, respected actor Robert De Niro recited some of his more intimidating and memorable film lines. Unfortunately for De Niro and Bono's houseguests, the scary line readings only garnered laughs from the French photographers, as well as wishes/desires for De Niro to do another comedy. De Niro threw his hands up in the air and suggested that if they play some of Bono's music that might make the photogs leave.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

FREE U2 FLOOR seat for 11/1, Staples Center
I’ve got an extra floor seat for the u2 concert at the staples center on 11/1 and would like to take a lovely lady, preferably a dedicated u2 fan with real body parts. Send me a photo, explain to me why you’re not just a pretty face, and why you like U2. Your cheat sheet (after all, you have to determine if you can stand an evening with me): Not a big oily bo-hunk manchild, I’m better suited for the sophisticate crowd who appreciates wicked intelligence, a great sense of humor, and kind eyes. I speak 2.5 languages, am very kind to small animals, and appreciate all things 80’s (save the mullets).

Remember, lovely ladies, that these are floor seats. If you loved Bono enough, you'd be calling your surgeon to ask if it's possible to temporarily remove those unattractive fake body parts long enough to appease the non-oily un-bo-hunk-manchild whose boss decided he didn't need those U2 tickets after all.

• FREE U2 FLOOR seat for 11/1, Staples Center [Craigslist]