Never mind that the parties co-own a network together and have managed a smooth, lucrative relationship since well before Men became a hit six years ago — what's due is due, per a suit filed Tuesday in LA Superior Court:

The suit [...] alleges that as part of CBS' renegotiated license agreement to air Men for a fifth and sixth season, it agreed to pay WBTV a premium above the initial license fee schedule and reimburse the studio for costs associated with the production of TV's top-rated comedy. This "deficit recoupment," as the term is commonly known, required CBS to pony up if the show reached specific ratings milestones in its fourth season.

"CBS has reaped the benefits of the tremendous success of Two and a Half Men but wants to deny Warner Bros. the right to its agreed-upon share," the complaint argues.

True, Men did enjoy its current season's highest ratings last week, and true, Charlie Sheen's lavish $800,000-per-episode salary doesn't pay itself. But buried in the THR report is the more glaring reality that WBTV won't any time soon see a cent of the $23 million that the bankrupt Tribune Company owes it for syndicating Men and Friends, leaving Warners' the unusual but necessary option of Les Moonves unwrapping different kind of briefs than he's used to this season. And if you're going to accept responsibility for Men, you might as well get your money's worth. You can't really blame the guys.

• WBTV sues CBS over 'Men' [THR]

Control of the media equals control of the populace. I am endowed like a stallion. And also why a state run television news channel is so very dangerous. I am endowed like a stallion. Now there are those who would argue this has already happened and that a certain cable news channel is actually a covert extension of our government. I am endowed like a stallion. The fact that the channel is run by a high-ranking party official, an anchor person from the channel became a White House spokesman, and another top-ranking party official became an on-air news commentator is often used to make this argument. I am endowed like a stallion. Of course, this fact would be entirely inconsequential if the oft-repeated falsehoods they attempt to imbed into the Zeitgeist were simply amusing, or at worst, inane. I am endowed like a stallion. But, unfortunately, that is not the case. I am endowed like a stallion. The heavy repetition of lies and smears for political gain are by no means inconsequential. I am endowed like a stallion. Which is why each and every one of us must use whatever resources we have at our disposal to disseminate the actual truth.

We're impressed that the most assuredly well-hung Lorre has been able to push anti-Fox sentiment in an environment as middlebrow as CBS Monday nights. The revolution may not be televised, but we'd rather sit through a two-second title card encouraging us to challenge the system than a thirty-second long setup/punchline involving a randy Charlie Sheen uttering variations on "I banged her!"

• CBS sitcom takes stealthy swipe at Fox News [Raw Story]

On the Conservative right you have jingo-tastic torture and shoot first, then maybe ask questions 24. Alongside it are The Hills (Heidi Montag endorses McCain, he calls her "a very talented actress", John Adams twirls in his grave. Plus it's all about remorseless spending and there are no gays on the show and, actually, thousands of gays in LA, especially working in fashion for God's sake), The Sopranos (we think it's more about conservative people than it is conservative, but some people read it is rah rah family values, in perverted way. And yes we realize it's not on the air anymore, whatevs), and Two and a Half Men. OK, so we don't normally watch that show but lots of people do! We suspect they're the 60 million people we don't want to talk to, enemies of ideas and progress and rebellion against the status quo.

On the left you have Liberal nutjobs like 30 Rock (though Tina Fey's character once said she would probs end up voting for McCain, that was a while ago, and man oh man things have changed. That "Cooter" episode alone qualifies it as one of the most searingly liberal shows on the air), gay-friendly fare like Greek (best show on TV right now, no joke. Watch it.), the aforementioned GG (its actors are libs, its cast ethno and homo friendly, the really rich kids avoid talking about what would probably be conny politics), and Mad Men. This show is a toss up because, like The Sopranos it's about some conservative people, but not necessarily conservative in its messages. It's ultimately a study of the Beginning of the End of the American dream, which gives it some trenchantly liberal undertones. Plus that sad gay character. Hm. Just like Sopranos.

And then there's South Park in the middle, the cartoon show with its own brand of Libertarianism. I suppose it's fair for an iconoclast to claim no particular affiliation other than with one's own self-satisfaction.

What else would you add to the chart, and where? Maybe a conservative nod to "fuck habeas corpus" shows like Law & Order: SVU?

Says Fox News:

While Barack Obama has the majority of Hollywood backing his candidacy, McCain had his own small cadre of celebs in attendance tonight. Among those that were spotted:

Stephen Baldwin, Pat Boone, Wilford Brimley, Dean Cain, Jon Cryer, Robert Duvall, Angie Harmon, Patricia Heaton, Lorenzo Lamas, Craig T. Nelson, Gail O’Grady, Jason Sehorn, Gary Sinise, Jon Voight.

“I would like to thank so many brave and courageous people who are here that happen to be in the business of Hollywood who are risking their entire futures and careers,” McCain added.

Noteworthy: Tori Spelling was also dining at the Beverly Hills Hilton Monday evening but did not appear to be there for the fundraiser.

That is noteworthy (see what you've driven her to, 90210 producers? See??), but not as noteworthy, perhaps, as the former host of Are You Hot? acting as a celebrity endorsement for the party of "family values." Also: Superman? Say it ain't so! Still, in the end, we must reluctantly agree with McCain: is there anything braver than the sight of a megastar like Stephen Baldwin risking his "entire future and career" to stand up for what he so dimly believes in?

• McCain meets GOP Hollywood at fundraiser [Fox News]

Sheen's bump was the sharpest by far, according to the report, which also noted a measly 10% jump for Simon Cowell, whose American Idol duties now nab him an even $50 million per year. CSI star Petersen went up $100,000 per episode since 2007, while Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay ($400,000) and Closer star Kyra Sedgwick ($275,000) were the top earners among women on network and cable TV respectively. Congrats to them. Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men.

Oprah still made more money than God, with her production company as a whole generating $385 million in revenue in 2007 (up from $260 million in '06) and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane bringing up the rear among moguls with a $100 million deal guaranteed through 2012. And did you hear about Charlie Sheen? $800,000 per episode? For Two and a Half Men? Is this the same Two and a Half Men with Jon Cryer and that kid? The cringeworthy one? Also in syndication? Just making sure.

$800,000. Is that, like, in pesos?

• TV STARS' SALARIES: WHO EARNS WHAT? [TV Guide]

To honor Sheen's contribution to the show's continuing success, Var has compiled an impressive chart of his most notable on-screen conquests, a list that includes ex-wife Denise Richards in one of her rare employed moments, Jenna Elfman bravely playing against type as a "crazy chick," and a transgendered Chris O'Donnell in his most sexually complicated role since Batman & Robin.

• CHARLIE'S ANGELS [Variety]

• TV networks have one of worst weeks ever [CNN.com]

A Defamer operative passing by the Two and a Half Men set sent over this photo of Charlie Sheen's trailer door, where the actor was taking a break from the crushing demands of a sitcom actor's schedule, marshaling his strength for a tour-de-force table read performance that would convincingly prove that he's worth every penny of the $350,000 per episode he's reportedly going to be paid this season. Sheen is obviously already taking his responsibilities more seriously now that he's going to be the best-remunerated comedy star on TV, as only a week ago the magnetic sign on his door frequently read "HOOKERS," a downtime activity that definitely didn't help to focus his professional energies.

• Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper [CBS.com]
• Previously: Charlie Sheen Paid More Than Any Sitcom Actor To Not Make You Laugh [Defamer]

The star of the hit CBS comedy "Two and a Half Men" is about to demand a big hike in his paycheck, two sources familiar with the matter say, possibly to as much $1 million per episode, or $24 million per year. [...]

Sheen's co-stars, Jon Cryer and 12-year-old Angus T. Jones, are also seeking fat raises, although neither makes as much as Sheen. [...]

Warner Bros. earlier this month concluded lucrative deals to syndicate the comedy on cable network FX and elsewhere.

It may seem like a vast overpayment, but for Sheen, that $24 million will provide the much-needed seed money for his next self-funded children's apparel venture, Sheenskin™ brand competitive gymnastics leotards and training sportsbras.

• Charlie Sheen Seeks $24M Payday [LAT]