Amy is from Oakland via Texas and a "permalancer" for Old Navy. She likes Lady Gaga and would love to dress Leigh Lezark.

Anna is originally from Wisconsin, loves Carla Bruni and worships at the altars of Marc Jacobs, Lanvin and Band of Outsiders.

Anthony hails from Birmingham, Alabama and loves glamour and color.

Ben made dresses that were inspired by different kinds of snakes and would love to design for Rihanna. Keep your eye on this one!

Christiane's originally from Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire, and makes simple dresses using vivid colors. She might go far in this competition.

Emilio's hometown is Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. He has a background in costume design.

Janeane Marie lives in Portland and is inspired by "earth science and space."

Jay is a visual merchandiser and stylist for the Gap — in the kids' division. He did a really cute happy dance in the casting session when Tim Gunn liked his stuff.

Jesse is from Ohio but lives in Orlando, FL and is an actor as well as a designer. He made a bright blue tulle party dress that no one liked but still made it on the show.

Jesus is originally from Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico. He used to dress up Barbies and used his mom as his model in the casting session. He says he adds "a little touch of grandiosity" to everything.

Jonathan's dream client is Meryl Streep and he loves Galliano. He made shorts with a hideous appliqué on the crotch and was picked anyway.

Maya is 22 and created a collection called Fashism, which is super avant garde. Crazy shapes and orb-like purses with spikes. One to watch!

Mila is inspired by artists Mondiran and Calder; she's into color blocking and loves Halle Berry and Cate Blanchett. She, Emilio and Pamela are the forty-somethings in a show with mostly 20 and 30 somethings.

Pamela's favorite designer is "God." Her dresses are pretty, soft and beautifully constructed, and Tim Gunn thinks "she's on the cusp of something big."

Ping works as a design intern, assistant stylist, model, interpreter, reporter and freelance writer (!!!). She loves "everything asymmetrical." She is a little wacky, and so are her clothes. She's going to be fun to watch.

Last, but not least: Seth Aaron lives in Vancouver but is originally from San Diego and does tough, rocker jackets. He's got 2 kids, a lizard and a dog. His favorite color is black and he fears "getting fat."

So you heard it here first: Keep a fashion eye on Ben, Christiane, Maya and Ping… And be prepared to be entertained by Anthony, Jesus and Jay.

There are photos, casting videos and at-home videos on the site, but be warned: Lifetime's website is THE WORST. It still SUCKS, just like it did last season, and you'll have to sit through those damn "the touch the feel of cotton" commercials over and over if you want to see anything good. It's like they want to drive people away.

The good news is, Season 7 taped over the summer in New York, where it belongs. So I'm looking forward to it!

Project Runway Designers [MyLifetime.com]
Project Runway Season 7 Cast Revealed! [Blogging Project Runway]

Finke offers one explanation from a source in the show...

"One of the great things about Mad Men is the tradition that Matt has established of offering higher-level opportunities to staff, writers and artists in all of the various departments. From the beginning, Matt has fought to get people approved by the studio which almost always lobbied for him to hire more experienced people instead."

"We think [Kater's] done a great job, particularly for someone whose career has progressed so quickly. Now, however, Matt has reluctantly decided that their relationship has reached its full potential. She'll be missed, but the series has consistently benefited from the influx of new writer talent, and there's absolutely no doubt that Kater will continue to have unprecedented success in her career as she spreads her wings. She leaves Mad Men with our love and respect and a well-deserved Emmy."

...that's clearly in Weiner's camp. Maybe this is the truth! Or maybe she might as well have placed an email from the show's flack in exchange for a better scoop later on. But the truth can't be this simple. Finke—who exercises a Machiavellian hand over the comments in her posts—left it to her commenters to speculate. And by speculate, we mean, speak for her. And I imagine someone at AMC is asking Finke why she's not deleting comments like she normally does on issues she wants to control.

Let's look at some of the more interesting theories:

• Matthew Weiner had a strictly unprofessional relationship with her, or as the commenter put it:

  *cough*LETTERMAN*cough*

  Well, Gordon did have a very quick rise through the rankings of Mad Men. Again: started as Weiner's assistant. Became a writers' assistant. Weiner then let her co-write the last season finale with him, and now, she's a staff writer for the third season. Or was, until she got fired. Staff writing jobs are not easy to come by, obviously. Sure, it's topical. And maybe it's worth noting that this is the first show Weiner's ever been a showrunner on. I somehow doubt this theory. If something inappropriate took place, why would he fire her? Probability: unlikely.
  
  

• Jealousy Issues. Another commenter writes:

  There was a really weird moment during the acceptance where Matt kind of 'snatched' the Emmy from her...The photo gets at it but I remember it being uncomfortable to watch. I always [sic] trhought they worked with these relatively inexperienced people on this show primarily for financial reasons. Allows them to put as much money as possible up on the screen.

  I'm not sure I buy the "inexperienced writers" line so much as the one above: that Mad Men hires writers with low quotes because they can afford to do so by reputation, and allocate the money elsewhere on the show. Weiner's a notorious control freak, as evidenced by the show, obviously. Hollywood loves a young, hot writer, and Gordon's cute and staffed on a hit show. Maybe this made Weiner uncomfortable. Or maybe Gordon's ego from the win outgrew Weiner's ability to micromanage, which could've been marginally. Even so, another commenter draws a comparison to Peggy and Don Draper's relationship, noting that this could give a certain scene from earlier in the season more significance...

  One just goes balls to the wall:

  Anyone who believes this horseshit is completely naïve. Matt Weiner is the lowest of the low in our business. He is a egomaniac and the likelihood is that he was incensed that he had to share credit and let alone an Emmy with her. A lowly former writer's assistant. As far as he is concerned, he is solely responsible for the success of this show and no other writer, producer, director, actor, key grip have done anything to contribute to the show's success. For Pete's sake, he didn't even let Kater Gordon say a word when they got up on stage. It was her moment as well but Weiner made it ALL about him.

  Though egomaniacs are kind of par for the course, no?
  
  

• And another one just thinks Matt was unloading unnecessary cargo:

  The only episode she wrote by herself was "The Fog" and it was terrible. Looks like Matt got too excited and promoted her too quickly…

Update: Finke posted from a writer who supposedly knows by Weiner and Gordon, who insists there was no "Letterman" play involved. "She totally got the show and deserved the break she got. There was NOTHING illicit in her relationship with Matt." 'Figured. But Finke has yet to posit any theories...

[Photo via Mark J. Terrill/AP]

Heche started out seeming candid and kooky in a sort of charming way. She said her ex-husband Coleman Laffoon wants her to "watch him run around in his little white shorts, playing soccer." The highlight of the above clip comes at about minute 1:00, when Heche starts talking over Dave, making awesome witch-fingers, and explaining that her ex "wants to still hang out with me [...] because I'm so fantastic." She seems a little wacked out, but hearing her unrestrainedly bash Laffoon is a lot more fun than watching some publicist-polished actress cross her legs and simper. Things get a little weird, though, as she repeatedly makes insinuations about the state of Dave's marriage. But not as weird as this:

Sorry Homer, your mom thinks you suck at soccer. Of course, since she thinks soccer practice is called "rehearsal," she may not know a lot about it. More importantly, though, Heche seems to have taken leave of her senses a little bit (on her marriage: "It's ovah ... red Rovah!"). Given her public battle with mental illness, this is kind of unsettling to watch. Even if she isn't having some kind of episode here (and to be fair, it must be annoying to have bunch of strangers speculating about your mental health every time you go off on your ex), it seems pretty unnecessary for her to mention her child while she's insulting his father on national TV. And if I were Dave's wife, I'd be a little pissed about all of Heche's eye-rolling about marriage.

Her ex definitely isn't happy. He fired back to Us about her allegations that he's a "lazy ass":

After coming home from showing two different clients two different condominiums, I was disturbed to see Anne taking out her personal frustration on the father of her child on national television.

He also wrote on Facebook,

I wish Anne Heche could see that public bullying isn't good for the soul or positive for her child. It's mean.

We kind of agree — but it's still hard to look away.

Anne Heche's Ex "Disturbed" by Her Letterman Appearance [Us Weekly]

It's shocking how quickly Kate has gone from being publicly vilified as TV's most shrewish wife to being respected as the resilient mom focusing on her kids as her husband makes a public spectacle of himself. Though Kate repeated many of the declarations she's made on Jon and Kate Plus 8, saying in the clip above, "My focus still is the health and well being of my children as well as myself," she seemed much more sincere than in the past. Kate also appeared more fragile than before, admitting that she feels like a failure. "This is not what any mother sets out for their children," she said, but added, "I want my children to see a mother who's committed to her children, who's determined, who has integrity and perseverance and never gives up."

As for that wedding ring: Kate explained that she's been wearing the band for the children's benefit. "I don't want to upset them. I don't want to shock them," she said, beginning to cry. When interviewer Meredith Viera asked if Kate's still harboring hopes of reuniting with Jon, she replied, "No. I think its very clear that we are two different people at this point with two different sets of goals."

Speaking of: When Viera asked about Jon's relationship with Hailey Glassman, Kate said she's upset about how his actions hurt the children, adding, "those things, to be very honest... that's his life and they don't affect me directly at this point." Her answer seeemed weirdly disconnected, as it seems anyone would be directly affected by their estranged husband's highly publicized flings with a series of women (not to mention his troubling friendship with Michael Lohan).

In the clip below, from a second segment on the morning show, Gosselin explains that the money made off Jon & Kate Plus 8 will pay for a college education for each her kids and denies once again that she's dating her bodyguard Steve Neild or that she bought a condo to be near him. As for her publicly-critical brother Kevin Kreider and his wife Jodi, Kate says, "That's probably one of the most hurtful things in all of this, when family turns on you and makes up lies... and makes tens of thousands of dollars doing it." The thing is, the same could be said of the Gosselins: after all, neither has been selfless enough to stop allowing family problems be played out in front of the cameras.

Kate: "I'm Still Wearing My Wedding Ring For The Kids" [MSNBC]

The meeting—with White House advisers but not, mercifully, Obama himself—was ostensibly about "soliciting ideas for selling [Obama's] public service message." But because Silverman is unctuous and gross, it was really about getting press, and the appearance of a White House impramatur, for The Philanthropist, which Silverman bought without seeing a pilot and which the Miami Herald's Glenn Garvin says "may be worst show ever."

Silverman went to the White House with The Philanthropist's producer Tom Fontana and its star James Purefoy. Because he exactly the kind of guy who would call you from the White House to say "Dude, guess where I am right now!", he called Cindy Adams to say, "Dude, guess where I am right now!":

From his cellphone in the White House East Reception Room, Silverman told me:

"We're responding to Obama's request to bring the entertainment industry into White House initiatives."

Which, basically, means what?

"Nixon established an Office of Public Liaison. Such public engagement now will help the president's outreach to Hollywood to spread his message of science, education, math, technology, engineering and public service. We're committed to getting young people engaged, and our new summer drama will encompass these story lines."

Yes, that's right, The Philanthropist is "encompassing" the White House's "story lines."

Ben Silverman is an awful person who makes shitty TV and is about to get fired by Jeff Zucker, an even worse person who also makes shitty TV. Barack Obama's White House was supposed to be all about Camelot Revisited, with poets and philosophers roaming the halls and dancing with one another to jazz and wearing tuxedos. The man who staked his network on trying to hire Rod Blagojevich to hang out with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt is an obscene intrusion into that noble vision. Now he's probably running around talking about "my friend Barry Obama" and pitching the White House on Michelle Obama doing a "Now You Know" PSA—maybe about organic food? We could partner with Whole Foods!

Mr. President, this man is beneath you. Let him, and all his awful television shows, go away quietly.

Chen and I are in disagreement as to whether or not this is intentional. I say it's a coincidence, but he's convinced that Mario was a definite inspiration for this background. What do you guys think? [Serious Lunch]

Will Ferrell couldn't host SNL without getting around to Celebrity Jeopardy, though they pulled out two serious stops for this one: Tom Hanks as Tom Hanks, Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds, and Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery, which is why we're here. Certainly not as great as of the CJ's of the past. Then again, I'm not sure who thought of it, but whoever did, genius: there was nothing more fun on TV this week (sorry, Lost) than watching Tom Hanks try to maneuver through plastic dry cleaning wrap.

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Ferrell's opening monologue was essentially one giant "fuck you" to the Tony voting committee and Broadway, who - if they have any brains about them at all - will give themselves national exposure by handing Ferrell a Tony for his solo show on Broadway (and subsequent HBO special). He's competing against Liza Minnelli. Somewhere, Brian Friel is not laughing. The joke about theater people's pompous self-seriousness is (especially in New York) ridiculously funny. And sadly: resonant. Unfortunately, outside of New York, it might not take.

Speaking of the Bush show, the cold open was Ferrell doing Dubya, of course - when's that going to get old for him? Will it? - and Hammond as Cheney. Again, Ferrell trying to push home the Tony win. Some of the late night ladies at Jezebel didn't like it; personally, I enjoyed. Anything with the words "face shooting" in it gets a chortle, here, but I'm a cheap date. You?

Clearly the favorite amongst the cast who came close to breaking character a bunch of times. Watch Jason Sudeikis try to handle this without laughing, especially around the five-minute mark. Jokes about speed, Bill Hader getting some strangeness in - something about a green Swatch - Maya Rudolph coming in and making complete, absolute, arbitrary nonsense. It was wonderful.

Finally: the cameo-laden finale. Spoiler: it's Ferrell doing "Goodnight Saigon." Kinda fitting. That band has Anne Hathaway, Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss, Amy Poehler, musical guests Green Day, and Paul Rudd in it. Again, this one sits squarely on the shoulders of its stars, not the writing.

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Oh yeah: Green Day was the musical guest and played some stuff off their new album, but when's a band gonna come on SNL and not do that? Remember when SNL musical performances used to be mildly interesting? Green Day should've come out dressed as 14 year-olds, played "Basketcase," broke some shit, and left. Memo to Lorne Michael: think dynamic. Also, question for Lorne Michaels: Did you burn through your entire Rolodex to pull this one off? Probably. Did it help that you had one of your best and brightest alumni hosted? Naturally. But you can't pull a glued audience simply based on the potential promise of cameos and only half-decent writing that your ace(s)-in-the-hole can walk circles around. You're gonna run out of ringers, eventually.

Yes, this Wednesday, when every other channel in the country is playing the president babbling about the Swine Flu Bailout Budget or whatever, you, the educated television viewer, will not have to miss one all-new minute of Lie to Me, a.k.a. "House But He Got to Keep His Accent and He Solves Crimes."

Has a broadcast network ever refused to air a presidential news conference before? Well yes, probably the WB. But god, we dream of a world in which Obama preempted the American Idol results show, forcing them to just fucking tell us who lost, during a commercial break, without K.C. and Lady GaGa and David Cook getting all up in our business.

(Unrelated:

The three networks have evaluated Mr. Obama very similarly: 57% positive comments on ABC, 58% positive on CBS, and 61% positive on NBC. But he fared far better in New York Times stories, where nearly three out of four evaluative comments (73%) by sources and reporters were favorable. And he fared far worse on Fox News, where only one out of eight such comments (13%) were favorable.

What a simplistic way of evaluating media coverage of a public figure! Also, Fox is evil and bad.)

1.) Full House, obvs. What didn't make the list was Taradise — Tara Reid's now defunct travel show — but that's only because I scoured the internet for it and it's NOWHERE to be found. Anyway, here's the rest of the list.

2.) Here's Blossom, and her face.

3.) Bridget's Sexiest Beaches has maybe the worst/best song.

4.) I cannot even wrap my mind around the intro for the latest installment of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I don't know if I should mock them, or applaud them for keeping straight faces during their performances.

5.) Remember when Oprah sang her own theme song with Patti LaBelle? I tried to find the actual opening sequence used for the show, but Oprah controls the world and internet now, so we'll have to do with this.

6.) I genuinely like the theme song for the canceled soap Passions, but it gives no indication that this show involves sorcery and dolls who come to life as little people.

7.) I love to hate staged opening credits that feature cast members doing things, and then stopping and looking at the camera. Case in point: Family Matters

9.) I find Night Court to be guilty of this as well.

10.) Even though Ray Charles was obviously still alive when this Designing Women theme was filmed, it looks like they're all hanging out with him in heaven.

Bonus:I don't know why I loved Zoobilee Zoo so much as a child, because really, I should have been terrified.

WATCH

Mistresses [8 PM, BBC America] - It's Friday and we're feeling saucy, so a British Sex and the City derivative where none of the four smart, driven women (played by Sarah Parish, Sharon Small, Orla Brady and Shelley Conn) believe in fidelity. In the first episode, the friends celebrate Katie's (Sarah Parish) birthday, who is a doctor and is sleeping with her terminally ill and married patient. We're excited that the characters are all shades of Samantha, so there's more of a slut-level playing field, rather than someone who has to act prudish no matter what is happening.

Late Night with Conan O'Brien [12:35 PM, NBC] - To paraphrase the Beatles: In the end, the Pimpbot 5000 you take is equal to the Robot on a Toilet you make. That does not make sense, but the past couple of weeks has felt like a goodbye to the old Conan. Even though Nathan Lane's song was pretty boring and last night's Will Arnett's mini-tribute was predictable, there's an awkwardness about everything that suggests the last days of the summer after senior year of high school when people realize that nothing will ever be the same again. It felt that way when Andy Richter left the show, but they just found new uses for other staff members and the local comedy community (Jack McBrayer, et al.). The White Stripes are the guaranteed guest tonight, but there should be a bunch of other surprise appearances and probably a show of honest emotion. Good luck, man.

TiVo

The Soup Awards [10:30 PM, E!] - After a new Soup episode, the death knell of awards season will be sounded as Joel McHale lauds entertainers who will likely go unrecognized this weekend at the Spirit or Academy Awards. Clocking in at 30 minutes, this might be the only awards show we will ever watch all the way through.

KILL

Dollhouse [9 PM, Fox] - The series premiere left us feeling a little strange, as the action sequences lacked suspense and the Echo (Eliza Dushku) part of the plot was not a quarter as interesting as the history/mythology behind the Dollhouse or the pursuit of Echo by Agent Paul Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett). It's not like anything else is on that will keep us from watching this, we just felt let down by the pretty conventional espionage procedural. In tonight's episode, Echo is hunted by an expert outdoorsman. Meanwhile, Ballard gets closer to discovering her real identity. The show has so much potential (not just for Whedon fanatics), and we humbly implore the producers to make the action sequences look better than what Nash Bridges was doing a decade ago.

WATCH

ER [10 PM, NBC] - This is more of a nostalgia pick than anything as the days wind down for those brave Chicago ER doctors. There was a moment in many of our lives when Thursday night was an automatic three hour block of NBC, with ER topping us off after four solid or visionary (Seinfeld, certain Friends episodes) half-hour comedies (a single tear for the "Must See TV" era). But with personnel changes and the darkening of the national mood, a serious, steadicam-heavy medical show no longer seemed like the best choice on our Thursday nights. Wyle reprises his longtime Dr. Carter role tonight (and for a few more episodes) and we are excited to see his simple, empathic humanity back on the show. In the early days of Clooney making dreamy eyes, Eriq La Salle taking everything too seriously and Anthony Edwards' character constantly distracted by the problems of others, Wyle was the young buck with a lot to learn. Clooney is probably coming back, too, so keep your TiVos peeled.

TiVo

Hell's Kitchen [9 PM, Fox] - Don't get us wrong, we like Top Chef a lot, but Gawker has that show on lockdown, so we'll settle for the rest of the cooking competition universe. At times Jerry Springer Show (lots of bleeps) and at other times a source for culinary knowledge (how to prepare a scallop), this show is all that is good and bad about shows about cooking. Watching people cook is inherently boring - thus the need for unnecessary insert shots, cheesy music and major cleavage on shows like Giada De Laurentiis's, for example - but watching people have to manipulate heat and knives under time pressure is great fun, and with tonight's meat challenge involving large sides of beef, we'll get heaping helpings of both.

Being Erica [10 PM, SOAPnet] - There's nothing like a good Canadian produced dramedy series to get the blood flowing, especially when one of the co-stars is Wonderfalls hunk Tyrone Leitso. The premise of the series requires a bit of hand-holding: 32-year-old Erica (Erin Karpluk) suffers an early midlife crisis and is prescribed by her mysterious therapist to travel back in time and right past wrongs. So, it's like Samantha Who? but with time travel. We can hang.

KILL

Destroyed in Seconds [9 PM, Discovery] - There was a moment where we liked these clip shows - especially Whacked Out Sports - but with the internet our main source of daily entertainment, watching short but spectacular clips on television has lost its novelty. We've said this many times, but if something is awesome, it will bubble up from the internet. For better or worse, our attention span has been shortened to the point where we can't tolerate Discovery running nine replays of the same grainy explosion footage. Tonight's episodes features a race car and a tornado burning and destroying, respectively, in seconds.

WATCH

Late Night with Conan O'Brien [12:35 AM, NBC] - Moving is always tough, but for the generation born from 1975-1985, Conan's move to 11:35 PM is a truly significant change in the TV landscape. Many of us were too young to see a lot of Letterman at 12:35 AM (or his morning show), so our reference on the current Late Show is not strong enough to lament that it has become less funny or weird. We will have that ability with Conan, and hopefully we will not have to deploy it. Nathan Lane is on tonight's episode, but you should expect a lot more than just witty banter and a musical number. Even if you never understood the humor or didn't stay up that late, at least watch it online. Late night shows aren't ever going to be on DVD or preserved online the way Seinfeld or even Reba are, so this is pretty much your last chance to see a master of the form.

Important Things With Demetri Martin [10:30 PM, Comedy] - Power is tonight's topic. The ratings for the first installment were huge (as Comedy Central original sketch shows go) last week, and while there's definitely a ceiling on the number of people who can enjoy this brand of broad but intelligent comedy, there should be a lot more folks tuning in to see what the guy with the horn rimmed glasses and the messenger bag was talking about in the lunchroom.

TiVo

The Witness: From the Balcony of Room 306 [8 PM, HBO2] - This Oscar-nominated short (about 30 minutes) explores the last afternoon with Dr. Martin Luther King, as told by Rev. Samuel "Billy" Kyles, the only other person on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis at the time of the assassination on April 4, 1968. Considering that most people never see the nominated documentary shorts (not really their fault as exhibitions are hard to come by), it's enriching to watch filmmakers who truly toil in obscurity and have to get by on the message of their work and strength of their talent. Who does that anymore?

KILL

Little Miss Perfect [10 PM, WE] - Great title. This reality children pageant series premieres hot on the heels of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. While Toddlers and Tiaras showcases a bunch of girls as they prepare for the pageant, Little Miss Perfect follows two families each week as they prep their cash calves for the "Little Miss Perfect" pageant. Tonight's episode centers on 9-year-old BrandiJean and 8-year-old Ashley, the reigning Little Miss Citrus. We're not objecting to the idea of little girl pageants, mind you, just the shows about them.

High School Reunion [10 PM, TVLand] - The second season of this torturous reality series starts tonight with 15 of Chandler, Arizona's class of 1988 reuniting at a Hawaiian estate. TVLand promises that the cast includes the homecoming queen, ugly duckling, class clown and the outcast, but as we learned last season, The Breakfast Club this is not. Even if your standards are slightly lower, and you'd settle for the reunion chemistry in The Big Chill's dinner-cleanup-dance sequence, you'll be greatly disappointed.

WATCH

Dogg After Dark [9 PM, MTV] - Snoop Dogg is a lot of things: rapper, actor, biznessman, but above all he is funny. Snoop has a great sense of humor about himself, probably because he is one of the most laid-back people in world. Instead of taping in a studio, Snoop's new variety show stakes out LA hotspot Kress where he shmoozes and occasionally throws to a comedy sketch. Tonight's episode features Paris Hilton, Pharrell, some performances by his in-house band, the Snoopadelics, and "rising Hip Hop star" Kid Cudi. It won't be high energy, but it will probably have as many good jokes as Chocolate News and without all the yelling.

TiVo

Larry King Live [9 PM, CNN] - Former President (and in our mind, President-for-Life) Bill Clinton sits down with Larry to offer his educated opinion on the issues of the day. Clinton was recently asked if he deserves blame for some of the economic junk and that will probably come up first, though we are also hoping Clinton weighs in on who he likes on American Idol (Knowing his weakness for annoying brunettes, we're scared he likes Tatiana).

Frontline [9 PM, PBS/KCET] - If your sympathies lie on the other side of the spectrum, then look for some evenhanded economic analysis from the best news-analysis-documentary show on television. Unless your trust fund is still robust or you have found a sweet Los Angeles niche (living in your uncle's pool house, being related to a Jenner), the economy affects your life like never before. Frontline dissects the Lehman Brothers collapse, the bailouts and everything else that your mom tries to talk to you about when you just want to go back to sleep on a Sunday morning.

KILL

Homeland Security USA [8 PM, ABC] - Last time it crossed our desk/table in the corner of Pazzo Gelato where we steal wireless internet, we went out of our way to lambaste this scrubbed-up airport/seaport version of COPS and in the weeks since that day we have watched the show on DVR with the hope that something amazing would happen that might result in a retraction. Sadly, the show is still about as exciting as the worst episode of Parking Wars. The thought that the severity of the stakes of Homeland Security work would make boring content somehow more exciting is beyond fallacious. On tonight's episodes, some punk from M.I.T. tries to be annoying as hell by invoking his passenger's right not to show his ID to the TSA or something. More exciting stuff happens at the airport Chili's.

WATCH

Dollhouse [9 PM, Fox] - Eliza Dushku stars in and executive produces this new series created by Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, other shows that the internet loves). Dushku plays Echo, a woman employed by a company called Dollhouse that erases the minds of its workers, reprograms their personalities to suit the needs of its wealthy clients, supposedly erases them again, and starts over. The "dolls" can play anything from paramour to a lonely dude to a Buffy-like ass-kicker. In tonight's premiere, Echo is assigned as a hostage negotiator so that a businessman doesn't have to go to the police. Meanwhile, an FBI agent's (Tahmoh Penikett) pursuit of the Dollhouse puts him in danger. The previews for Dollhouse show a visual style we can get behind, but our Whedon-humping friends might psyche us out of future viewings for fear of having too much in common with them.

TiVo

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2009 [11:30 PM, TNT] - With NBA All-Star excitement in full swing, this is going to be a big sports weekend on TNT. In a calculated move to keep the male audience tonight, here's a thirty-minute peek at 2009's SI Swimsuit Issue featuring covergirl Bar Refaeli as well as some rookie posers. It almost warms the heart to see that there is still a swimsuit issue, let alone a sports magazine, given that all media will be digital and porn within ten years.

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory [10 PM, MTV] - This past week's premiere of another MTV series featuring Rob of Rob & Big re-airs tonight. While Big's presence is missed, there is an air of whimsy about the massive warehouse where Rob and his boys indulge their fantasies. Tonight, Lamar Odom of the Lakers visits to discuss a business opportunity and Rob installs a blob indoors. We smiled through the whole episode, so something must be good about it.

KILL

20/20: A Hidden America: Children of the Mountains [10 PM, ABC] - Diane Sawyer digs deep this week as she reports on Appalachian poverty by profiling four kids in "the land that time forgot." (We thought that was this one area of rainforest where that tribe has never seen, aw, never mind.) Rocking a puffy coat, she interviews residents in their freezing homes and hears all of the sad stories. ABC is really pushing this piece, but it seems a bit condescending, if you ask us. The problems are real - depression, drug abuse, poor health care - but we hate this "I can't believe this would happen in America" attitude. A lot of messed up stuff goes down in this country and even though there is a city just over the next ridge where these people could live and get proper medical benefits, they choose to live their life this way. Unless this is followed by a very special Extreme Makeover: Home Edition where Ty Pennington razes all of Appalachia and brings in some Sears trucks, this type of exploitation seems too sad to watch.

WATCH

Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice [9 PM & 10 PM, ABC] - We teased it pretty hard last week, but tonight's Grey's Privates event gives us the full-on crossover action. During the first hour of this medical mash-up, Addison (Kate Walsh) returns to Seattle Grace in hopes that Derek (Patrick Dempsey) can operate on her brother Archer's (Grant Show) brain ish. Meanwhile, Owen (Kevin McKidd) is faced with someone from his past and Izzie (Katherine Heigl) enlists the other doctors in a game to help the interns. Then at 10, Addison helps Derek with his pregnant neuro patient while Archer recovers but then something goes wrong with Sam (Taye Diggs). The curtain is closing on the Heigl-Knight era so we're going to stick around for the death rattle.

TiVo

Survivor: Tocantins [8 PM, CBS] - Is this really cycle 18 of Survivor? It seems like just two months ago we were saying goodbye to our friends from Survivor: Gabon. Sixteen castaways are dropped into the Brazilian Highlands to endure heat, torrential downpours, backstabbing and the the most diverse group of competitors yet. Among the contestants are a member of R&B group SWV, a cattle rancher, the requisite number of models, a bartender, a world-record setting kayaker, the former owner of Bare Naked Granola, and a 19-year old (youngest castaway yet) Survivor super-fan. A new wrinkle this season (cribbed from The Bachelor, albeit inversely) is an immediate vote-off based on first impressions. We can't keep up with all the people on Idol, Top Model and Lost, so we always reduce Survivor contestants to basic stereotypes in lieu of actual names. We're hoping whiny thick-thighs dude wins it all.

Animal Armageddon [9 PM, Animal Planet] - Tonight is the first of an eight-part series that seeks to explain why over the 99% of animal species scientist claim have existed on Earth are now extinct. This episode explores the gamma rays that may or may not have triggered this extinction 450 million years ago. It's everything that an Animal Planet joint should have: catchy title, lots of computer graphic simulations, weird old-school animals. This is the kind of thing we usually watch from 1-3 AM - after the talk shows but before the informercials.

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Ace of Cakes [10 PM, Food Network] - Shows about cakes are, quite literally, comfort food for some viewers, but there's only so many ways to skin a cat - or bake a cake shaped like a tin of chaw (pictured). If you have ever watched a marathon of AoC, then you will know that Duff and his Charm City hipsters are paid lots of dough to make unique and wonderful cakes for big corporate events and strangely-themed weddings. We know television is inherently formulaic from Intro to Media Studies, but this show has become filler between competition shows (Chopped, Ultimate Recipe Showdown), actual chef shows and various Guy Fieri or Alton Brown programs.

Everyone at the bakery gets along well, the designs are always super cute, there is always DRAMA in getting the cake out of the car and at the end everyone smiles and takes a photo with the cake. Even the sad episodes - making a cake for a charity or war veteran - don't strum the heart strings any more than the skate cake for the roller derby chicks. Tonight, they make a cake for Macy's 150th anniversary and cowboy and skyline-themed cakes, and that's basically it. Even the little efforts to get people out of the bakery - e.g. one guy drove a Corvette around to get inspiration for the Corvette cake he was sculpting - would have been cut after the first editing session if we were on that Avid. For once, can a cake please get destroyed and then the client gets pissed and someone says a racial slur and then there's a power outage so that in the dark we are all the same race and everyone learns a lesson about humanity? Pleasey please?

WATCH

Important Things with Demetri Martin [10 PM, Comedy Central] - Comedian-actor Martin brings his intelligent (but not too smart as to invoke the Dennis Miller ratio) humor to this new series premiering tonight and running for seven episodes. Tonight's "important thing" (each episode features one theme) is timing. In this post-Blart age, where it seems that existential comedy might give way to fat guys squeaking across mall floors, this mishmash of jokes, animation, musical numbers and sketches gives us hope. So you won't be splitting a gut over the stand-up/visual aid stuff, but this is Mitch Hedberg for the Wired set with a show that showcases all aspects of his comedic abilities.

Spectacle: Elvis Costello With... [9 PM, Sundance] - It's an hour of indie and not-so-indie showbiz royalty descendants as She & Him (Zooey Deschanel & M. Ward), Jenny Lewis and Jakob Dylan sit down to discuss their work and family lives. There will be the requisite amount of "It was so great to collaborate with you" during the Jenny Lewis segment, but Elvis gives these performers a comfortable environment to talk about their craft.

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Late Night with Conan O'Brien [12:35 AM, NBC] - Jimmy Fallon, Rose Byrne, John Pizzarelli. Only a few more nights of 12:35 Conan left, and if last night's free-for-all with Norm Macdonald and Gordon Ramsay is any indication, it seems like Conan is going out with a bang. If you can't stay up for the guests, at least catch the classic Late Night bit after the monologue.

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The CollegeHumor Show [8:30 PM, MTV] - Here's the thing: This show could be good. Put a bunch of young writers in a room and something good can come out of it, but the goal has to be to make television, not the internet with higher production value. On the hierarchy of jokes, the internet is at the bottom, because the standards are lowest and the supply is infinite. We were hoping that the gang at CollegeHumor.com would have stepped their game up, but there are too many tired jokes in the first episode to keep the premise of a crazy office where anything can happen alive.

The premiere episode airs again tonight (new ones are on Sunday nights), Ricky loses an employee to the owner of a rival web site in a poker game. Many of these people are non-actors, so they are doing the best they can with the material, but the lines are usually read and not acted and the sillier moments lack the strength of the site's funniest videos. The creators were smart to make the show about the site and not about college humor itself (though this epi features a beer pong subplot), but shouldn't everyone be having more fun? Supposedly, parts of the show are improvised, but the boundaries are too tight to make any character except Amir (pictured) seem like a funny human and not just another downtown hipster pretending to act annoyed or worried or anxious. CollegeHumor can do better, as the internet shorts that shepherd us to the commercial breaks indicate.

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Dateline NBC [10 PM, NBC] - Pilot Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger did a great job landing that plane but we're already over that story (Sully and the crew will visit Letterman tonight). We're super-jazzed, however, for Ann Curry's interview with the unemployed mother of octuplets, Nadya Suleman. From the preview we saw on Today, Ann's questions will follow a similar tack as the conversations we have with our parents: "So, how do you make money? No, seriously? I'm coming out there and getting you. Uncle Tony can get you a job at the mill."

Darwin's Secret Notebooks [9 PM, National Geographic] - This week, we are celebrating the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin and coincidentally NatGeo is throwing their own bash. Tonight, evolutionary biologist Armand Leroi uses Darwin's diary to retrace the adventure that inspired Darwin's revolutionary theory of evolution. Physics and chemistry have had little application in our adult lives, but biology is still pretty interesting, especially studying domestic cats and their ability to attack laser pointers.

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T.I.'s Road to Redemption: 45 Days to Go [9 PM, MTV] - Rapper T.I. has 45 days to redeem himself/lighten his sentence before heading to the pokey and MTV gets it all on tape. T.I. was arrested in a sting for purchasing machine guns and silencers hours before the 2007 BET Hip Hop Awards and his goal is to receive 1,000 hours of community service, most of which he'll use to work with troubled kids. Even if buying a cache of weapons doesn't seem all that smart, T.I. shows some mental and emotional intelligence in this episode. While that isn't surprising, it's almost scandalous that MTV would use precious airtime to show a celebrity being open and honest.

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Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern [8 PM, Travel Network] - Like arsenic, our bodies can tolerate a small level of cultural imperialism, but this show takes it too far. Zimmern, the unsexiest man alive, explores the relationship between food and sex while reminiscing about some exotic foods he's tried around the world. Unlike other culinary adventure shows that embrace a location or culture, Bizarre Foods tends to treat the destination as something scary and/or gross. This episode might be different given the Valentine's Day theme, but no one wants to see Zimmern getting worked up over a papaya reduction.

WATCH

Lagerfeld Confidential [7 PM, Sundance] - Robert Redford's ex will be airing a "style-oriented film" at 7 PM every night this week. Like Lagerfeld himself, Rodolphe Marconi's ninety minute documentary folds mystery and shimmer into a portrait of the iconic designer. The uncomfortable highlights include KL discussing his first sexual experience and expounding on his hatred for people who can't stand being alone.

The Big Bang Theory [9:30 PM, CBS] - Penny (Kaley Cuoco) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki) grow closer when Leonard's mom (guest-star Christine Baranski) visits and they resort to alcohol to take the edge off. The Obama press conference (5 PM here on the West Coast) messes with primetime on the East Coast, so we are forced to remember that this is on ninety minutes later than normal to balance out the universe or something.

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The Bachelor [8 PM, ABC] - The dreaded hometown visit episode is finally here, and even though we have stuck with this installment, we'll probably just fast forward through this one looking for crying/sexy moments. Also, with Megan Parris no longer in the running, we have lost our emotional connection to the plight of Jason, his son and his houseboat (Yes, we are aware we could have just watched Sleepless in Seattle, a fact the show slyly referenced last episode during a romantic river cruise). The preview promises a wrench in the previously well-executed blueprint when a bachelorette's family refuses to meet the hot single dad. We're always excited for plot twists that depend on a production assistant's inability to get some small-town family to sign release forms.

Late Show with David Letterman [11:35 PM, CBS] - Naomi Watts, Danny McBride, The Von Bondies. Naomi Watts will be pretty/funny and will talk about her boys, Danny McBride probably has some crazy-ass stories about his boys back in Carolina, and that dude from the Von Bondies got beat down by Jack White. The big event, though, is the reveal of the cover model from this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Spoiler here for the two Defamer readers who care.

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The Girls of Hedsor Hall [9 PM, MTV] - Donald Trump's new reality competition premieres tonight, with a dozen hard-partying American girls sent to an English finishing school. There they will be straightened out by a headmistress, disciplinarian and disgraced former Miss USA, Tara Conner. The contestant who has transformed the most by the time they have enough footage will be awarded a $100,000 trust and a diploma. We didn't miss a minute of Bromance, but any show that involves quantifying personal transformation that involves non-celebrities or non-fat people is just an hour of whining with occasional swears bleeped out.

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Supernanny [9 PM, ABC] - ABC sends Supernannny down a strange path tonight that hopefully has a happy ending. Jo is thrown into a house with the largest family she's ever had to tame (10 kids), but the kicker is that a dark family secret will be revealed. The preview for this episode is easily the most intense of any we have watched this year, especially the B & W footage of a dad dragging a child into a bedroom. We have a lot of hope for this "powerful Supernanny." Even though there probably isn't a "My sister, my daughter" plot point, that would set a new high and low (poker players call that "the wheel") for network reality programming.

Secret Life of... Pizza [10 PM, Food Network] - In honor of tonight's grand opening of the new Two Boots location in Echo Park (we actually hit up their soft opening last night and recommend you grab a slice of the Bayou Beast or the spicy Original before it gets too trendy), we're suggesting you learn a bit more about the art and history of the pie. Will this make you hungry enough to get off the couch and drive to Echo Park? No, but you'll think about it for a second.

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Late Show with David Letterman [11:35 PM, CBS] - After whetting your appetite earlier this week, there's no way we weren't going to remind you about Dakota Fanning's sitdown with Letterman. The excitement is less about the content of the interview and more about the artfully chosen adjective Dave will use to compliment Dakota's appearance when the 14 (almost 15) year-old sits down at the desk. Comedian Keith Alberstadt and indie folk Beirut round out the show, but hopefully show less skin.

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Played By Fame [10 PM, BET] - Back to back half hour episodes of this new reality series where "celebrities" prank their fans. As derivatives of Candid Camera go, this is one of the worst. Minor celebrities embarrass the few people whose devotion make them stars with Al Shearer (Punk'd, Glory Road) playing host. In the first episode, Toccara (America's Next Top Model Cycle 3) puts a fan into a fashion show. In the second episode, Melyssa Ford (model, radio personality) enlists a man to protect her from a geeky stalker. It's never a good idea to bite the hand that fames you, but if some silly fan signs a release form, s/he deserves whatever punishment the producers create.

What's With That Really Expensive House? [8 PM, HGTV] - The title is sort of a grabber - but in the other sense of the word that denotes a heart attack. One of the few perks of working in television is the free swag you get from the show you work on, but it's doubtful that too many WWTREH? are going to be rocking their WWTREH? hoodies because it will only result in awkward moments with lots of people reading their chests. This program showcases the most "expensive houses in the neighborhood" and is possibly only relevant to people who live in that neighborhood or couples who have been together for over five years and have very little to talk about. That latter demo might be the entire focus of the HGTV network.

WATCH

Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice [9 & 10 PM ABC] - When we heard that Kate Walsh was spinning off down the coast, we assumed that Shonda Rhimes & Co. would be doing these crossovers twice a season. Sadly, that has not transpired and both shows have lacked the oomph of those early Grey's seasons. The crossover event begins tonight, though we must caution you, there is not all that much crossing over - most of that will take place next week. But the seeds are sown for all sorts of dramatic act endings:

Derek (Patrick Dempsey) has finally bought the engagement ring for Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and is looking for the perfect way to propose. He even spills this secret to a patient (Jennifer Westfeldt - dueling against life partner Jon Hamm on 30 Rock). Meanwhile, Lexie (Chyler Leigh) wants to announce her relationship with Mark (Eric Dane). Meanwhile, in Santa Monica, Addison calls Derek after her brother Archer (Grant Show) suffers a severe seizure. Violet (Amy Brenneman) tells Sheldon (Brian Benben) and Pete (Timothy Daly) that she is pregnant.

If all the cast members of Grey's and Private aren't in one giant free-for-all orgy by the end of next week, we're officially done with these shows.

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30 Rock [9:30 PM, NBC] - Mad Men's Jon Hamm guest-stars as Liz's sexy new neighbor while Jack (Alec Baldwin) tries to impress Elisa's (Salma Hayek) grandmother who dislikes him because of his likeness to a Spanish soap villain. Meanwhile, Tracy (Tracy Morgan) tries to keep up with the hard-partying interns. This is top-to-bottom, A- through C-plot, the funniest show with jokes on television (Flight of the Conchords is up there, too, but that's all about mood, not jokes). Why the superlative? The sheer amount of casually racist and over-the-top offensive jokes they get away with is staggering — and permissible because every character is so clearly drawn. No one is trying to be scandalous to be scandalous (ahem, Gary Unmarried, etc.).

Hell's Kitchen [9 PM, Fox] - The boys and girls in Fox's promo cutting room really went all out for this week's episode of the poor man's Top Chef. We've been promised that the chefs will "put their bodies on the line" and "deal with consequences" and "break the rules" and Chef Ramsay will be pushed to the breaking point. Hmm, sounds like every HK episode, though this one is supposed to be extra crazy. No matter, we'll still be watching all the bleeps multiple times to guess which profanities were uttered.

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Cat People [7 PM, Animal Planet] - Three cat-show competitors and their human handlers are followed as they strive for perfect scores. Competitive strategies are revealed and heartbreak is inevitable in the ultra-tense world of cat shows. This seems like a show we'd be into, but they go a bit too far in highlighting the weirdness. Anyone making non-fiction programming should watch The King of Kong and realize that there is a thick line between weird people and normal people, but they need to be treated equally by the director.