The Writers Guild of America, West, (WGAw) says that women and minority writers remain underrepresented on television staffs, according to the preliminary findings from its forthcoming Hollywood Writers Report. [...]

According to the WGAw, the data for hiring on show for next season "looks increasingly grim following the recent shuttering of urban-oriented networks UPN and WB to create the newly launched, fledgling CW network."

The CW consolidation is only likely to make the ongoing crackerfication of TV worse, though the merge-crazy, bottom-line-focused network has offered the concession of combining all their urban shows into a one-hour dramedy staffed entirely by 60 women and minority scribes, an exciting opportunity for underrepresented writers to bang out the weekly adventures of Taye Diggs and Eve raising their adopted son, young Chris Rock.

• TV Staffs Are Light on Women, Minorities [B&C]

[Series creator Glen A.] Larson has bandied about the project for years. "A number of people wanted to do a pure comedic send-up of it, but I always felt that would throw away the franchise," he said. "There was always some humor on the show, but this film will probably have more gallows, foxhole humor.

"I had a meeting with Harvey, and I could tell he had just seen the two-hour pilot for the series." he said. "We agreed the film would be a darker, edgier version of the series, somewhere between 'Knight Rider' and 'Sin City.' "

Somewhere, Seann William Scott's agent is placing a very difficult call to tell his client that he can stop shopping for tight jeans and a black Members Only jacket. But while it's a momentary relief to discover that the ironic adaptation option is off the table, do we really need a "darker, edgier version" of a series that was essentially a Moonlighting-style romantic comedy about the frustrated—but very real—love between a man and his sassy, vehicular soulmate? At this point in their careers, we're willing to bet that Harvey Weinstein can even make a more literal connection between the two series, and get Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd to play the hero and his car, staying true to the lighthearted spirit of the original show.

• Weinstein Co. gears up for 'Knight Rider' [THR]

In fairness to NBC, we have to admit that the concept of Alan Thicke shouting barely audible cooking jokes over a screaming studio audience as Cindy Margolis dices carrots in a low-plunging top sounded like a winner. They never could've seen those "pathetic" Nielsens coming.

• NBC cancels 'Celebrity Cooking Showdown' [THR]

The justices, ruling 7-0, agreed with Warner Bros. Television Productions that trash talk was part of the creative process and, therefore, the studio and its writers could not be sued for raunchy writers' meetings.

The court added that no jury would believe the writers' assistant was the target of harassment during profanity-laced meetings.

"The record discloses that most of the sexually coarse and vulgar language at issue did not involve and was not aimed at plaintiff or other women in the workplace," Justice Marvin Baxter wrote. [...]

Amaani Lyle, 32, alleged six years ago that raw sexual remarks peppering work sessions and conversations added up to harassment against women.

Lyle said she was offended by repeated references to the actors' sex lives and to the writers' own sexual exploits as they penned the successful NBC sitcom rife with bawdy banter about six New York City friends.

She was fired after four months on the job, allegedly because she could not transcribe meetings fast enough or capture the flavor of the meetings.

Perhaps the most important legal precedent set by this decision is the affirmation of a sitcom staff's ability to fire assistants over their inadequate typing/transcribing skills, the standard industry excuse used by confrontation-averse writers to terminate someone they don't like.

• Court Rejects 'Friends' Trash Talk Case [Breitbart.com/AP]

The pilot episode of "The Bedford Diaries," which concerns a group of college students attending a class on human sexuality, had already been accepted by WB's standards department. After the F.C.C. decision last week to issue millions of dollars in fines against broadcast stations, the network's chairman, Garth Ancier, contacted Mr. Fontana and asked him to edit a number of specific scenes out of the show, including one that depicted two girls in a bar kissing on a dare and another of a girl unbuttoning her jeans.

"I said no," Mr. Fontana said in an interview Wednesday. "I told him I found the ruling incomprehensible. He said the censor would do the edit."

The decision, several network executives said yesterday, could represent a further step in the spread of alternative means for television programs to reach viewers, including iPods and computers. It could also increase the risk that network television will be seen as pass by some of its audience, especially younger viewers.

"The message here is that they'll be forced to go alternative ways of looking at shows if they want to see the real thing," Mr. Fontana said. "It's like they're telling people that broadcast television now has much less interesting stuff than you see on the Web or cable."

What is at stake is nothing less than the American public's right to watch on network television twentysomething actresses playing curious teenagers unconvincingly pressing together their lips in a fashion that will not reveal any intertwined tongues, thus ruining a broadcast-acceptable take. More importantly, the practice of presenting these "uncut" episodes on the Web threatens to taint the whole internet, that unspoiled bastion of true, unashamed, hot lesbian action. Let's keep Mischa Barton's clumsy, bi-curious experimentations where they belong and stop this madness before it's too late.

• WB Censors Its Own Drama for Fear of F.C.C. Fines [NY Times]
• Previously: 'Without A Trace's' $3.6 Million Teen Orgy Scene [Defamer]
• 'Without A Trace's' Teen Orgy Scene: The Totally Hot Full-Text Version [Defamer]

[Photo: Discovery Channel]

• Jeremy Piven's Journey of a Lifetime [Discovery Channel via The Gilded Moose]
• Previously: Piven Does The Worm [Defamer]

At the bustling CBS lot in Studio City, Elfman chats on a sofa on the set of Alex's apartment. The couch is very chic off-white, decorated with polka-dot mocha and teal cushions, which pick up on the over-all decor of the room. Elfman's involvement in every aspect of the show even extends to color coordination.

"I picked the paint," she says, explaining how she worked closely with the production designer and set decorator. "I wanted to raise the aesthetic value of the sitcom many notches because, 'Why not?' … I wanted to juxtapose timelessness and modern throughout the entire show in set design, wardrobe, casting …"

Elfman's got a producing credit on the series, which seems to entitle her to a certain degree of helpfulness in all aspects of the production. This is probably good news for the other producers, writers, and crew members who invariably just love it when one of their stars take credit for their work; when she suffers a crippling on-set "accident" following an interview in which she claims responsibility for everything from story arcs to the show's set lighting, there will probably be far too many suspects to make any charges stick.

• Elfman Plays Against Type in New Show [AP]

OK, it's just a typo on the Netscape home page, but the above scenario is really no more ridiculous than watching actual, frighteningly upholstered DWTS contestant George Hamilton learning to tango in his mothballed Love at First Bite tuxedo.

• Netscape.com
• Dancing With The Stars [ABC.com]

WTWO’s move is being hailed by the Tupelo, Miss.-based American Family Association (AFA). The AFA has been attacking the show, urging affiliates not to air the series and calling on advertisers to boycott. The AFA says several major advertisers have pulled out, but will not name them.

[Station manager Duane] Lammers, however, says his decision has nothing to do with AFA’s campaign. [...]

The AFA says NBC is promoting the show as a serious drama about Christians, but calls Quinn’s character “a drug-addicted Episcopal priest whose wife depends heavily on her midday martinis." In a statement, AFA Chairman Donald E. Wildmon said, “We are tired of NBC’s anti-Christian bigotry.” The group also points to a gay character as another problem with the show.

Maybe the AFA was willing to play ball when it was just a Viked-out priest and his boozy WASP wife, but when NBC insisted on piling on with the gays, the floodgates to good, old-fashioned red state outrage were opened. In any case, the local station manager will probably return to the office tomorrow and find an enormous gift basket from NBC president Kevin Reilly, with a note attached indicating that all of the characters on his new Must See TV Thursday line-up are all secretly Sodomites and should be immediately punished by further publicity-attracting protests.

• NBC Affil Drops Daniel [Broadcasting & Cable]

NEW YEAR S EVE WITH CARSON DALY 12/28/05, 10p, Version 5

ACT ONE:

#1: (Carson V/O live shots Times Square)

NEW YORK CITY LIVE IN TIMES SQUARE DECEMBER 31, 2005 11:30 EASTERN STANDARD TIME IN A TRADITION THAT DATES BACK 101 YEARS MORE THAN A MILLION PEOPLE ARE HERE TO WATCH AS A 1,000-POUND BALL OF IRISH WATERFORD CRYSTAL XX STORIES ABOVE THE STREET (megan, peter check bold) — IS DROPPED FROM THE TOP OF ONE TIMES SQUARE GREETING ANOTHER NEW YEAR

More exclusive read along excerpts after the jump!

#2 (Carson O/C welcome)

WELCOME TO NBC S NEW YEAR S EVE I M CARSON DALY WE RE LIVE (-IN A PLACE I VE COME TO ESPECIALLY ENJOY THIS NIGHT-): TIMES SQUARE AT 46TH STREET BETWEEN BROADWAY AND SEVENTH AVENUE IN THE MIDST OF THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF HUMANITY RIGHT NOW ON THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT EVERYONE UNITED UNDER THE NEON

RIGHT UP TO MIDNIGHT AND BEYOND WE LL BE BRINGING YOU ALL THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF THIS UNMATCHED CELEBRATION

IT S A (WEATHER TK) NIGHT TEMPERATURE: TK AND WHAT YOU RE SEEING AROUND ME IS CONTROLLED CHAOS EXPERTLY MANAGED BY (TK POLICE FORCE di ask for press release) OF NEW YORK S FINEST ONLY IN NEW YORK COULD YOU IMAGINE A CROWD THIS ENORMOUS BEING MANAGED, WRANGLED AND PEACEFULLY RELEASED

(SECURITY PROVISIONS TK peter search, pens, measure taken)

BEFORE THE BIG MOMENT NOW TK- MINUTES AWAY WE HAVE A FEW OF OUR OWN

INCLUDING ON OUR OWN STAGE, JUST A FEW STEPS AWAY THE WOMAN WITH THE NUMBER ONE ALBUM IN THE COUNTRY THIS WEEK NATIVE NEW YORKER MARY J. BLIGE HERE WITH US TO PERFORM LIVE [...]

#3 (Carson O/C Melissa the ball???)

BUT FIRST — STANDING BY LIVE RIGHT NOW AT THE COUNTDOWN STAGE, WITH THE IRISHMAN WHO LED THE DESIGN OF THE TIMES SQUARE BALL (TK Brooke, from Ireland?) NBC S MELISSA STARK [...]

#7a (Carson V/O London)

(London)
A LITTLE LESS THAN FIVE HOURS AGO THE WORLD S MOST FAMOUS CLOCK, BIG BEN, ANNOUNCED THE NEW YEAR IN LONDON
(May not need next line, if folo with torch — THE CITY WHICH CELEBRATED IN 2005 THE AWARDING OF THE 2012 SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMES )

#7b (Carson V/O torch relay)

AND TONIGHT IN ITALY THE OLYMPIC TORCH RELAY CONTINUED (Location TK, torchbearer TK) THE ULTIMATE DESTINATION THE OPENING CEREMONY OF THE 20TH OLYMPIC WINTER GAMES FEBRUARY 10, IN TORINO

#7c (Olympic guests????) [...]

IT MAY NOT BE WELL KNOWN EVEN TO NEW YORKERS THAT THE CITY WILL OFFICIALLY HAVE ITS NEW MAYOR ONE MINUTE AFTER MIDNIGHT ON THE COUNTDOWN STAGE BEHIND ME, THE NEWLY RE-ELECTED, HONORABLE MICHAEL J. BLOOMBERG WILL HAVE LOTS OF BUSINESS TONIGHT PRESSING THE BUTTON THAT DROPS THAT BALL THEN A MOMENT LATER, RAISING HIS RIGHT HAND TO BE SWORN IN

Rob—-#8a (Mayor chat Guest of Honor?) [...]

#12 (Carson lead to Johnny VT)

WELCOME BACK AS WE CREEP EVER CLOSER TO 2006 VERY SOON, IT LL BE ALL EYES ON THE BALL

IN THE PAST YEAR, WE LOST A TV GIANT — JOHNNY CARSON BEFORE MOVING TO LOS ANGELES, HE WAS HERE IN NEW YORK WITH THE TONIGHT SHOW, EVERY NEW YEAR S EVE PART OF AN NBC TRADITION GOING BACK SOME SIX DECADES IN THIS EXCLUSIVE CLIP OUR LATENIGHT DEPARTMENT HAS DISCOVERED AND DUSTED OFF, JOHNNY IS JOINED BY HIS USUAL NEW YEAR S COMPANION — NBC S FAMED RADIO ANNOUNCER BEN GRAUER FORTY YEARS AGO, ON THIS VERY NIGHT THE NBC PEACOCK AS YOU LL SEE WAS STILL NOT QUITE FULLY IN LIVING COLOR

#12a (Johnny tape ) [...]

NOTES:
1,000 POUNDS OF IRISH WATERFORD CRYSTAL
600 LIGHTS
96 FLASHING STROBES
72 CRYSTAL TRIANGLES
THIS YEAR S THEME A HOPE FOR FELLOWSHIP
SLIDING DOWN 100 FEET (Must confirm)

(More facts to come Carson choose bullet points can be placed on blue cards.)

#16a (BALL DROPS)

Show and character: 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter John Ritter as Paul Hennessy

Series star Ritter died of a heart condition in 2003, after completing three episodes of the show's second season.

The solution:
When the series resumed production after a brief hiatus, mom Cate (Katey Sagal) had discovered Paul had died and broke the news to the kids. Cate's father, Jim (James Garner) and, later, nephew C.J. (David Spade), joined the show to help fill the male void.

Show and character:
Law & Order: Trial by Jury
Jerry Orbach as Detective Lennie Briscoe

After a 12 year-run as homicide detective Briscoe on Law & Order, Orbach was cast as a regular on the show's short-lived 2005 spinoff. He died of prostate cancer in December 2004, after shooting just three episodes.

The solution:
The show dedicated an episode to Orbach and referenced that his character had died. A memorial service was held.

We must hand it to chart-crazy USA Today's crack research department, who could almost be accused of doing too good a job. Never again will we find ourselves wondering aloud how the death of Dolph Sweet boosted Nell Carter's career during the 1985-86 season of Gimme a Break!

• How series deal with death [USA Today]
• Previously: West Wing Actor John Spencer Dies [Defamer]

This account of Dave Chappelle's fall from grace has been pieced together by me, a retired public relations executive who wishes to remain anonymous. my contacts, many of whom were closely related to the individuals involved, enabled me to fairly accurately recount the events that took place. You can take this for what you wish, but it is the truth — the abhorrent byproduct of the industry I used to hold to such a high esteem.

I have written this account without the need for embellishments or exaggerations for the truth is appalling enough. Let this site serve as a drawn curtain to the entertainment industry which is blindly adored by the entire world.

What follows is pages upon (nicely designed, oddly) pages about the efforts of the "dark crusaders," a nefarious collection of prominent African-Americans (Al Sharpton! Louis Farrakhan! Bill Cosby! Oprah Winfrey! ...Whoopi Goldberg?) who were hell-bent on scaring Dave Chappelle into discontinuing Chappelle's Show. We did some digging around and still don't know whether to laugh or tighten our tinfoil helmets, but if you've ever secretly felt that Oprah was sending you messages through her TV show (or feared she might might show up with thugs and threaten you in the bathroom), it might be best to sit this one out.

• The Chappelle Theory

John Spencer, who played a dedicated politico on "The West Wing" who survived a serious illness to run for vice president, died of a heart attack Friday, his publicist said.

Spencer, 58, died at a Los Angeles hospital, said publicist Ron Hofmann. He would have been 59 next week.

Spencer played Leo McGarry, the chief of staff to President Jeb Bartlet (Martin Sheen) through the first few seasons of the NBC series. In a sad parallel to life, his character suffered a heart attack that forced him to give up his White House job.

The character recovered and was picked as a running mate for Democratic presidential contender Matt Santos, played by Jimmy Smits; the campaign has been a central theme this season for the drama.

Sadly, the great TV writer in the sky isn't beholden to AFTRA minimums and episode commitments.

• 'West Wing' Actor John Spencer Dies of Heart Attack [AP]

HOLLYWOOD TO REMAIN ON HIGH ALERT AS COMEDY CENTRAL® RENEWS "THE SHOWBIZ SHOW WITH DAVID SPADE" FOR A SECOND SEASON
NEW YORK, December 8, 2005 — Millions agree. Hollywood had it coming and David Spade is just getting started. COMEDY CENTRAL has ordered a second season of the weekly satire, "The Showbiz Show with David Spade," it was announced today by Lauren Corrao, executive vice president of original programming and development. The second season of "The Showbiz Show with David Spade" will premiere on March 23, 2006 and consist of 13 episodes.

"Taking on the fertile field of self-important Hollywood is a concept we've long believed in and felt our viewers wanted and expected from us," said Corrao. "David and the team at 'Showbiz' have shown no fear providing biting, satirical commentary week-after-week throughout the first season, which has seen the show grow and really come into its own over the course of the run, turning 'Showbiz' into a favorite with our audience and a new franchise for the network."

"COMEDY CENTRAL gave us the freedom to do 'Showbiz' the way we want to and with their help we think it's getting sharper and better every week," said Spade. "Plus, everyone at work was excited to hear that their subscriptions to US Weekly won't be cancelled."

Indeed, Spade's pleased that the network hasn't been interfering with his vision by demanding that he say something that might cause Leonardo DiCaprio to withhold an approving high-five across their VIP booth at Privilege.

[Ed.note—Dude, can we tone this down a bit? If you keep this up, he's never gonna look at our reel.]

• Previously: David Spade To Tease His Buddies [Defamer]

But Quinn Taylor, ABC's senior vice president in charge of movies for television, acknowledged that the attention-getting value of having Mr. Gibson attached to a Holocaust project was a factor.

"Controversy's publicity, and vice versa," Mr. Taylor said.

While the baldfaced grab for controversy might seem utterly crass to us, ABC was powerless against the visionary Gibson's breathtaking pitch for the miniseries' climactic scene, a Braveheart-style battle with thousands of Jewish and Nazi combatants rushing at each other across an open field.

• Mel Gibson Plans TV Miniseries on Holocaust [NY Times
• Previously: Mel Gibson Gets Surprisingly Helpful Notes From Montezuma [Defamer]

Suddenly, a break in the violence. Letterman paused, as if to drink in the sight of his worthy opponent, his hands clutching fistfuls of Winfrey's hair. Eyes met. Letterman broke the eye contact, turning his face towards the blood soaking through his once-white shirt. His? Hers? No matter. Eyes met again. And then as quickly as fist first met unclenched jaw, the two grapplers were devouring each other, with every grunt and lip-smack of their greedy osculation captured by Letterman's lapel mic. As tattered jacket slipped off narrow shoulders and ball gown slid down torso, the cameras violently panned to the ashen face of the bandleader, whose silently mouthed Ohmy told us more about the carnal acts unfolding than any intrusive Steadicam work ever could.

The feud, it seems, is over.

• Letterman welcomes Oprah to end 'feud' [AP]

Matthew Houbrick, 42, of Calabasas, Calif., was found dead about 3:30 p.m., in his 6th floor room at the Drake Hotel.

Some white powder, believed to be cocaine or heroin, was also found in the room, a source close to the investigation told the Chicago Sun-Times.

It was unclear how long Houbrick had been dead, but a police source said a Hollywood producer was concerned about the man and asked hotel staff to make a well-being check. Police officials obtained the information about his job title, but Fox network spokesmen did not confirm Houbrick's death late Monday.

UPDATE: Houbrick was not listed on IMdB, Studio System or the Prison Break website. However, a reader who had recorded last night's episode and found his credit informs us that Houbrick was Prison Break's accountant, and not a producer:

I checked the opening credits, which listed about a dozen different producers, none of them him. Then I looked at the closing credits, where he was listed about six screens in as the accountant.

• 'Prison Break' producer found dead at Drake Hotel [Chicago Sun-Times]

"I have to tell you, I had a wonderful time doing the Pope, maybe because I understood more than most what he was since I had a Catholic background," he said.

Pope Wars over: Les Moonves wins, with his much edgier Midnight Pontiff take.

• Jon Voight: from aspiring gigolo to Pope [Yahoo/Reuters]
• Previously: Coming To CBS In December: Jon Voight In CSI: The Vatican [Defamer]

Dear Defamer,

The point of my outrage is primarily the manipulative editing. I expected to appear silly at times, but the fact that editing doctored so many scenes, omitted nearly all of my contributions and choose me as an easy target to be the fall guy so often remains is at issue. It was lazy editing for them to not pick-up on the many embarrassing and humorous stories that were not related to me. I was the target of choice from the start and production never looked back.

What you saw is not real. If my initial conversation with Trump, week one, were such a disaster then why cut it up to portray that I aimlessly rambled to Trump's one question? Trump asked me a series of 5 - 7 questions and editing choose to splice in my various answers randomly to portray me as their caricature, which they continued to develop to their desire thru the weeks.

Regarding the yo-yo matter. An individual in the audience, the “yo-yo lady” of NYC, gave it to me as a gift. The scene, that was portrayed as happening during the presentation, was actually long after the class was over and we were awaiting production to take us back to Trump Tower for the verdict. Productions choice to insert that as if it were during the presentation is absolutely a lie. Also, my contribution was a major part of the presentation and of course none of that was shown. More on that in the coming days.

When Trump “fired” me I immediately shot back with my own “cobra” and rebutted “on to bigger and better things”. Of course that would not please the Donald to see. And finally, the cab scene was taken from 30 minutes in the car and I can assure you that those were my absolute worst moments. Proof positive that Production is out to intentionally damage me to the last possible moment and have a good laugh.

Funny article, thanks for covering the show and look for more from me soon.

Sincerely,

Mark

While we are shocked—shocked!—anew each time we hear that reality TV editors manipulate footage in the service of entertaining, if not "truthful," storylines, we are not at all surprised that Mark's final retort wound up on the cutting room floor. The Donald would never allow the public to see any deadly "cobra" unleashed in the boardroom but his own.

• Apprentice Outraged At Seeming Dumb On Television [Defamer]