1. Tropic Thunder — $14.2 million

Against not-so-formidable competition, Ben Stiller's little $90 million-comedy-that-could persisted in first place for the third consecutive week. Fun fact: Thunder became only the sixth R-rated film in history to achieve such longevity, joining the seminal likes of The Whole Nine Yards, American Pie 2 and The Passion of the Christ. And a fourth win isn't out of the question this weekend if America stands up to the horror of Nicolas Cage's latest, Bangkok Dangerous. Why doesn't the Special Olympics lobby protest that degradation? Another discussion, another time.

2. Babylon A.D. — $12 million

While our generally impeccable box-office projections last Friday seem to have misapprehended Vin Diesel's lagging appeal, let's be honest: As butchered, disavowed and dumped-on-the-roadside B-pictures go, Babylon's $12 million take is in no way a reflection of the actor's animated-elephant-epic potential (or lack thereof). We're just saying.

3. The Dark Knight — $11.3 million

Three words: Fuck you, Japan. Bonus: The film's cumulative gross tipped $500 million (along with Titanic, the only film to break the barrier domestically); Warners is reportedly using at least half of the money to launch Speed Racer back to its home country in return via the internally developed Batapult™.

4. The House Bunny — $10.7 million

Discuss: Between the success of this film, its medium-budget sibling Step Brothers and its lowbrow, high-yield cousin Pineapple Express, Sony Pictures' comedy trifecta is the most underreported story of the summer.

5. Traitor — $10 million

Our underdog, all grown up. We're so proud!

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — $151.1 million
Defamer's groundbreaking Indiana Jones PlunderWatch Projections Tracker™ was just about pinpoint precise once we factor in the the +/- $9.5 trillion margin of error, calculating the triumph of America's archaeological/Commie-killing sweetheart in real time over its five-day opening frame. Its four-day total was no less impressive, tallying $126 million from Friday to Monday, while the worldwide total of $311 million had George Lucas stroking his massive under-chin on his Marin County deck, conjuring inspiration for his and Steven Spielberg's forthcoming fifth installment, Indiana Jones and the Hard-to-Insure Septuagenarian Star.

2. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian — $28.6 million
Disney insiders cooly told us this morning they're not worried about the 58% drop from Caspian's opening weekend or the fact that the four-week old Iron Man almost surpassed it for second place overall. When asked about the shrieks and cries audible in the background, we were rebuffed: "What? Oh, that? It's nothing. Andrew Adamson stopped by, is all — he's telling us about the next Narnia movie. Anything else?"

3. Iron Man — $25.6 million
The comic hero bumped his cumulative take to $260 million since May 2, which means Marvel Studios' troubled companion film The Incredible Hulk can draw literally nobody to the theater and still be an official success. Congrats to David Maisel and the whole team!

4. What Happens in Vegas — $11.1 million
Fox's "shite date movie" counterprogramming trick worked like a charm once more against the action/fantasy epics encircling it, but look for the "late Sydney Pollack cameo" wave to lift Made of Honor to a resurgent weekend ahead.

5. Speed Racer — $5.2 million
If the box office was The Gong Show, a cackling Chuck Barris would have pointed this sorry act offstage two weeks ago. Alas.

[Photo Credit: Rotten Tomatoes]

1. Vantage Point - $22.874 million
Sold as a Rashomon-like take on In the Line of Fire, Vantage Point proved compelling enough an upper-mid-range concept to connect with the public, and secure the top spot in the lackluster post-President's Day period. Its total was augmented by a release in IMAX Digital P.O.V. 8-D, where specially outfitted glasses allowed audiences to enjoy all eight takes on a Presidential merking simultaneously.

2. The Spiderwick Chronicles - $13.1 million
Although Paramount's backyard-fantasia dropped 34%, Spiderwick has performed strong enough to convince the studio to grow the brand. Already, The Spiderwick Diaries and The Spiderwick Monologues are in the works, with execs hoping to extend the franchise to a chick-lit-reading, goblin-curious demographic.

3. Jumper - $12.708 million
Much like the character he plays, we suspect Hayden Christensen will confound many and break all natural laws of science by instantaneously "jumping" into another relationship with his next female co-star.

4. Step Up 2 the Streets - $9.605 million
Will someone please see this with us? Anyone? Otherwise we have to go alone—probably in Elvis glasses and fake nose, somewhere like Reseda—and that's just kind of sad.

5. Fool's Gold - $6.554 million
Worried that star Matthew McConaughey's penchant for shirtlessness might be overshadowing the fine work he delivers in serviceable romcom material like this, the actor's handlers recently called an emergency wardrobe intervention. Codename "Operation Mock Turtle," they were going to first explain the longterm benefits of dressing from the waist up; should that not have gone well, they hoped to physically hold down the actor and force a perfectly lovely Calvin Klein cashmere sweater vest over his head. Not surprisingly, things did not go smoothly, with the actor eventually running down the halls of his agency naked, paraphrasing Amistad as he shouted, "He will break loose his chains! He will decimate his enemies! He will try and try and try, against all odds, against all prejudices, to take off his shirt!"

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE February 22-24, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]

1. Halloween - $31.012 million
Apparently, sitting through 109 air-conditioned minutes of Rob Zombie's utterly unnecessary reimagining of the 1978 John Carpenter masked-slasher classic was preferable to expiring from heat stroke, as audiences flocked to their local multiplexes to watch a resurrected Michael Myers return home to eviscerate his suburban neighbors.

Perhaps now that this new Halloween has broken the Labor Day box office record, original Myers stalkee Jamie Lee Curtis will take to her Huffington Post blog to complain that having her iconic role reprised by "some skinny bitch named Scout," is further evidence of the decline of Western civilization.

2. Superbad - $15.6 million
Emboldened by the newfound heat he's enjoying following a third consecutive impressive weekend for Superbad, star Jonah Hill will seek to emulate writer/co-star Seth Rogen's career plans by having his agents call around town to mention that it's always been his dream to don The Phantom's purple tights and restore dignity to a beloved hero whose legacy was defiled by Billy Zane a decade ago.

3. Balls of Fury - $13.873 million
We knew that Rogue Pictures should have put Christopher Walken on its poster, holding a pair of ping pong balls in front of his testicles. Maybe they'll go with that image for the DVD cover.

4. The Bourne Ultimatum - $13.193 million
Matt Damon's publicists are hard at work cementing his position as the Most Likable Movie Star in the World; soon, Damon will attempt to maintain the nice-momentum he's built through yesterday's animated Arthur cameo by appearing in a commercial in which he helps the Snuggle Teddy Bear recover from a nasty cold by feeding it chicken soup with a medicine dropper.

8. Death Sentence - $5.2 million
We'll admit that we're a little surprised by Death Sentence's poor debut; nothing premiering this weekend sounded more appealing to us than Kevin Bacon revenge-slaughtering a gang that killed his kid.

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE August 31-September 3, 2007 [Box Office Mojo]

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End—$115 million

Per God and Disney's projections, audiences gobbled up the final installment to summer 2007's Trilogy of Substandard Threequels to Movie Franchises That Have Long Since Squandered Their Creative Capital, netting Captain Jack Sparrow and the gang a (Four-Day) Memorial Weekend box office record to call their own. Even so, Buena Vista VP Chris LeRoy doesn't "like to put too much emphasis on what the opening weekend means," particularly because this opening weekend means his movie was outperformed by Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third, and even its own predecessor, Dead Man's Chest. Still, interest in the adventures of an eyeliner-addicted pirate still grappling with his sexuality well into middle-age appears to be showing no signs of waning, and so a fourth installment, Pirates of the Caribbean: Ghosts of Jack Sparrow's Pre-Sellout Career, could very well sail into cineplexes by summer 2008.

2. Shrek the Third—$69 million

The dream is ogre: A steep, 43 percent decline in business doesn't bode well for the green monster with the bastardized Canadian brogue. Poor word of mouth could be to blame, but one mustn't discount the influence of this widely run McDonald's commercial, which helpfully reminded audiences just how annoying the Shrek world is.

3. Spider-Man 3—$18 million

Spidey and friends crawl past the $300 mil domestic mark, but the movie is a runaway hit with foreign audiences (Asians have Tophermania!), putting its total gross at just over $800 mil. No movie was ever more deserving.

4. Bug—$3.3 million

If they had just added "-Man" to the title, Lionsgate could have increased their take ten fold.

5. Waitress—$3 million

We're all for the pie-therapy espoused by Adrienne Shelly's final film. Nothing makes the pain go away like sinking one's face into a freshly baked crust, effectively blotting out the world's troubles with the smells, sounds, and textures of still-warm strawberry-rhubarb filling.

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE May 25-27, 2007 [Box Office Mojo]