In today's episode: Don Johnson; Topher Grace, Seth Gabel, Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Seth MacFarlane, Steve Harwell, Reid Scott and Michael Bunin; Dominic Monaghan; Michael Ovitz; John Cho; Dita Von Teese; Adrian Grenier; Monica Keena and David Anders; Gregg Araki and James Duval; Dizzy Reed; William Mapother; Brandon Davis and Danny Bonaduce.

· A well-preserved Don Johnson was having lunch outside at Le Petit Greek on Larchmont today (9/26). Had this been twenty some-odd years ago, I would've been so excited instead of mildly/hardly amused.

· Post-Arcade Fire at Magnolia on Sunset. Saw a baseball-capped Topher Grace with pervy/sweaty/stabby Nip/Tuck kid, Seth Gabel. They chatted up some girls on the patio before walking off down Sunset. Thirty minutes and one burger later, saw Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan walking towards us arm and arm. She stopped at the valet stand and waited as an attendant got her car, while Rodriguez kept strolling along by himself. After getting her SUV, McGowan drove and caught up with the still ambling Rodriguez further down Sunset where he then got in. Those two head cases seem made for each other.

· Bizarre assortment of C-level celebs at Bar Lubitsch last night (9/26), plus one good one. The C-team: Seth "Family Guy" MacFarlane, the lead singer of Smashmouth (Steve Harwell, and two of the dudes from TBS' "My Boys". ("Brendan" (Reid Scott) and "Kenny" (Michael Bunin), hanging together. life imitating TV art.)

The good one: Drew Barrymore. She's been there a few times lately... with the Mac guy (Justin Long). Didn't see him last night, though. Had a weird feeling when she was standing by our table. I thought, " Who is that? Did I go to high school with that girl? Did we go on a blind date once? Wait, no, it's Drew Barrymore. Right on."

· Saw Dominic Monaghan at the Klaxon's concert at the Henry Fonda (Sept. 26). No girlfriend in sight, but that's probably because she wasn't fired from LOST like he was and is currently filming in Hawaii. Dude is super short - although since he played a hobbit in three movies that's probably too obvious of an observation.

· Last Tuesday Michael Ovitz, wife Judy and three children being congratulated by former CAA cohorts at Ovitz's new restaurant Kumo on Melrose.

· 9/26: Dinner at Canele in Atwater Village, saw John Cho or as my friend who spotted him first put it, "the only Asian actor I recognize, you know, the dude from Harold & Kumar." Ahh... I don't think she watches HEROES. Being 1 and 1/2 asians between the two of us, I replied (silently), "more recognizable roles for Asian-American actors!" Anywho, he's a handsome fellow.

· Saw Dita Von Teese at the Hollywood Bowl Sunday 9/23 for the Rufus Wainwright show (which was amazing). She was waiting in the Will Call line with a less fabulous friend. She looked incredible with perfect hair and make up, and a gorgeous outfit. Unfortunately that outfit covered her well, no free show for us.

· 9/19 7:30pm - Saw Adrian Grenier at LACMA for the Muse reception before the "Into the Wild" screening. He was flanked by two blonde girls who looked like they couldn't tell a Cezanne from a Hockney. He couldn't have cared less about them, choosing instead to direct his attention to the stage where The Good Listeners were performing. He was wearing a black fleece and dark pants, requisite face fuzz, all of which looked good on him. Total cutie.

· Wed, 9/26: The Coronet on La Cienega - Spotted Monica Keena (Dawson's Creek, various guest star roles—she was the girl with the pole through her gut on Grey's Anatomy) sitting at a booth along the bar. Couldn't see who she was with at first, but noticed that she's looking aaaaaaawfully plastic. Remember the 30 Rock episode where Jane Krakowski's character has a ton of work done and Tina Fey goes on about her looking like a burn victim? I feel like a bitch saying it, but poor Monica is approaching that territory. Or maybe she hasn't had any work done and just has a naturally tight skinned-big lipped face! Oh, but then, when she left, I saw she was following David Anders (one of the new Heroes, formerly of Alias) out of the bar. She's very tiny. He's very hot.

· Saw Gregg Araki and James Duval holding court at the Editors show Monday night @ The Wiltern

· Just got back to town and my Internet connection, but did have one very small celebrity sighting to share from a recent trip to Los Angeles. Last Thursday night (9/20), at the Supersuckers gig at the Key Club, just happened to run into Dizzy Reed, keyboard player for Guns and Roses. I know it's not much, but I would hope it's at least a TINY bit more interesting than Nate Corddry or some of the other "who?" I have seen listed in the sightings.

· 2 quasi-celeb sightings in 1 day, although I doubt the first really counts:

Sunday 9/23- a brunching Brandon Davis, famous for being greasy, sleeping with celebutards, and calling Lindsay a "firecrotch", eating with 3 disheveled friends at Mauro's Cafe in Fred Segal. He looked less greasy and bloated than usual. I was sitting next to his table and believe I overheard him talking about a recent visit to the doctor. Draw your own conclusions...

Sunday 9/23- 8 PM
Went out with a few friends for a low-key pastrami-on-rye dinner. Standing with us waiting to be seated was William Mapother- Ethan on Lost and as Tom Cruise's cousin. He was by himself with a stack of magazines and asked to be seated in the back. He was reading intensely the entire time. Very low-key, tall, and better looking than expected. Still creeped me out to come face to face with one of The Others.

· Sep 25 On the JetBlue bus from JFK to Burbank. Danny Bonaduce himself, looking very LA in bestudded jeans, designer tee, and a very, very sparkly rhinestone belt buckle. I had to put my shades on, the glow was so intense. He went to the back of the bus, BTW.

Anyway, we did notice something of note: Topher Grace, who plays baddie Eddie Brock aka Venom in the third installment, was chatting rather fussily about hats — ball cap or golf cap? decisions, decisions! — with director Sam Raimi. In this Slugvideo, you can hear him specifically say, "I will wear it if you want me to." (You can also hear an annoying assistant wrangling passers-by.) What a sport, Toph.

It really is moments like this one that restore our faith in the collaborative, creative endeavor that is moviemaking. Thank you, Topher and Sam, for sending us into the weekend with such a warm feeling in our usually coal-black hearts.

• Slugvideo: Topher Grace Does Not Like Golf Hats [The Slug]

Scott and Larson had been shepherding a "Cockblockers" project for some time, only to learn that Coolidge and principals at management-production outfit H2F Entertainment had one of their own. They combined their development and then plucked Grace to star alongside Scott before taking it out to studios Wednesday.

We've said it before, but it's Friday morning, and we're severely hung over and emotional: Sometimes we love this goddamn town so much we could cry.

• Par blocks all bidders [Variety]

In this first-ever twice-in-one-week episode: Topher Grace, Emmy Rossum, and Ben Stein; George Clooney and Krista Allen; Renee Zellweger; Richard Dreyfuss, Scarlett Johansson and Josh Harnett, Tobey Maguire, and Mariska Hargitay; Vin Diesel; Brooke Shields; Sylvester Stallone and Deep Roy; Adrien Brody; Chloe Sevigny; Willem Dafoe and Monica Lewinsky; Mila Kunis and Peter Dinklage; James Woods; Donald Sutherland; Ashlee Simpson; Aaron Eckhart; Jason Lee; Jennifer Love Hewitt; Bill Maher, Red Buttons, and Robert Wuhl; William Shatner; Ethan Embry x4; Carl Weathers; Ryan Starr.

· We were out with some friends on Saturday to celebrate a birthday, and we went to see a show at The Groundlings. Topher Grace and Emmy Rossum were in the audience, sticking very close together but trying in a really calculated way to look like they weren't very close together. But they were. Canoodling is the term, I believe. On the DL. Anyway, he's shaved his head and looks more like a fetal alcohol syndrome baby by the day. You know. Cute in that FAS sort of way. She has perfect skin and perfect hair and a tiny waist and hips that could never bear children and angels crap flowers in the air above her head. Hah, and oh yeah — we also spotted BEN STEIN! YES *THE* BEN STEIN! walking his Dalmation in Beverly Hills, wearing sunglasses and looking a little baffled at the sight of the four of us pulling into a driveway two houses in front of him just so we could gawk and shout "That IS him!" while we laughed our heads off at the randomness and C-listiness of it all.

· George Clooney and Krista Allen might have left the sushi bar disappointed, but ended up at my anniversary celebration at Mr. Chows. George looked hot as usual (I'm married not dead), tan and thin, he's lost all of that god awful weight he gained for that oil movie. Krista Allen looked thin and blond, typical MAW. They held hands, hugged, kissed and were quickly seated behind a privacy screen, where they were until we left about 11:30. I don't know what they ate, but they drank it down with champagne, that made her giggle

· (8/15) Saw a very skinny Renee Zellweger at the Quality Café on 3rd. She walks in – maybe just from working out – but she is wearing tiny gym shorts and a t-shirt and she has the body of a 12 year old boy. She looked intently at her Blackberry the entire time with her baseball cap and sunglasses so nobody would recognize her – but the voice is hard to miss. My young daughters recognized it first – “That’s Angie from Shark Tale!” No, that’s someone who could make Teri Hatcher look chunky.

· Friday night (8/12): Getting my mojitos and mole on at a sidewalk table at Frida's in the 9021-sizzle and an extremely dimunitive Richard Dreyfuss crossed the street right in front of us, his wife in trail. It was actually even less-exciting than it sounds. While Saturday passed me by devoid of any celebrity wattage (alas, they don't come knocking on my apartment door when I'm locked inside plowing through the best soft-core Netflix has to offer), Sunday was a cornucopia of celebrity harvest treats come early. First up: Scarlett Johansson and Josh Harnett actually sucking it up and waiting with the hoi polloi for a table at John O' Groats on Pico for brunch. Scarlett is smoking hot in that freshfaced sort of way. And her rack is huge. Josh was rocking a green cammo hat and goatee action. There were some whispers and glances, but everyone left them alone, even after the old-lady hostess parked the couple at a fourtop right near the entrance. What a spiteful old woman! Later, at celebrity womb Il Sole, Tobey Maguire eating on the patio with his omnipresent girlfriend who doesnt seem to have that "inside voice." Also spotted a very put-together and attractive Mariska Hargitay with her extremely tall and buffed up hubby. As far as I'm concerned, that's plenty for one weekend.....

· Saw Vin Diesel at the Grove yesterday (8/14). He came out of the bottom level of the parking lot as I was coming down the escalators. He had on a tight (gay) tee shirt, jeans, huge sunglasses and was followed by a much larger look alike (bodyguard?) and a young twinky looking guy. The two girls in front of me on the escalator started squealing and tearing up after they overheard me telling my boyfriend who the muscle bound man was. My BF and I followed him all the way to the Apple Store where Vin and posse disappeared in and the salespeople, walky-talkies in hand started to screen at the door. We got bored and went to brunch.

· Pulled up next to Brooke Shields in traffic today, driving east on Wilshire just past SM Blvd. Chatting on her cell phone, she drives herself around in a Ford Escape Hybrid SUV. Who knew?

· I saw a much better looking than I'd have imagined Sylvester Stallone at B2V salon in WeHo on Saturday. He was there with wife Jennifer Flavin and two little girls. I'd always assumed he was short, but he was actually man-sized and pretty beefy for an old guy. That night at the Whisper Lounge I sat next to none other than Deep Roy, the Oompa Loompa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Sadly there were no dance routines to be seen.

· As I'm pulling into the Whole Foods in Beverly Hills, I'm stuck behind a black Lamborghini, driving less than .0001 miles per hour so as not to dent the front of the car on the irritating bump as you pull into the covered parking structure. As I
sit there for 4 hours waiting for it to move, I continue driving inside and think there's an earthquake. All was well, it was just the shaking from the damn Lamborghini engine in a covered parking area. I park my car and look to see who is
driving the car that is making all the noise, and see someone step out of the car incognito in sunglasses. If you want to be incog, shouldn't you drive a Prius instead of shake an entire building with your overpriced car's engine? It was none
other than a red shoe and green pants wearing Adrien Brody with some blonde chick who also had sunglasses on inside, even though she was no one who could be identified with or without shades. Maybe she just had lasic surgery.

· man, Chloe Sevigny (please correct the spelling of her name...or not) is fucking taking over the east side and im already sick of it. she was holding high court last night at Part Time Punks @ The Echo, sitting on a picnic table in the 'backyard' surrounded by her friends and followers. she was wearing something insane of course— a dress thingy that was pink and oddly ribbed, causing her to look like either a homeless mermaid or a used condom, im not sure which.

· Tuesday afternoon 12:15 William Dafoe waiting for his wife Giada Colagrande (according to IMDB, who knew?) at Damone Roberts eyebrow palace on Wilshire in Bevelry Hills. Some guy came in to join his girl, he sat down next to me, only when he moved across the way into his girls now vacated seat did I notice it was William Dafoe. Did I smell so like a nonceleb that he had to move? He was dressed in all dark black/gray, shaved head and beat up flip flops. I wonder if he was getting his brows done too? Crossed the street to Saks, saw Monica Lewinsky browsing in the shoe department. She didn't look great.

· On Saturday afternoon, was momentarily trapped in the elevator at the Sunset 5 plaza with the bite-sized, adorable Mila Kunis, who yammered nonstop to an equally miniature friend until the doors opened and vomited us all into the sunlight. Mila was wearing a tiara that said "Birthday Girl" (I am a very sad human being and looked it up when I got home—it was indeed her birthday), and she and her wee pal wandered over towards Burke Williams, where a day of birthday princess pampering surely awaited. The celebrities continued to shrink in physical stature, as I then saw Peter Dinklage (in person) in the movie theater's lobby, and again moments later (on screen) in a trailer for "The Baxter." It probably wasn't his fucking birthday, so whatevs.

· Ate dinner at Lucy’s El Adobe Friday night (8/12) – that legendary Old Hollywood watering hole across from Paramount – and in walks geriatric actor JAMES WOODS with a decades-his-junior twenty-something blonde bombshell straight out of HBO’s Unscripted casting couch. Reminds me when Woods was on Leno plugging a movie last week and joked “the last time I dated a woman my own age...was when I was 18!” They tucked into a cramped corner booth – come to think of it, ALL the booths at Lucy’s are oddly cramped – and seemed to be enjoying each other’s company, very cozy. No word on if they liked Lucy’s killer refried beans (the BEST in LA!), but the unnamed blonde knockout went outside to light up a cig, sparing us all from second-hand smoke. Nice girl.

· went to jar last night for mozzarella monday - which of all mondays to go - was canceled. so we sat at the bar for pot roast instead and got to admire the luxurious mane of grey hair that is donald sutherland. seriously, he has an impressive head of hair. I was told the former host of "while you were out" on TLC was also there (not with donald) but I have no idea who she is. whoever she is, she's no paige davis.

· 7/31- went to see "March of the Penguins" at the ArcLight and saw Jason Lee standing in the lobby right by the ticket taker. He was obviously waiting for someone. I love him and felt the need to say hello, so I walked by him and said "Jason Lee!" and gave the thumbs-up (yes, this was extremely lame!) and he gave me a wink and smiled. Turns out he was also seeing March of the Penguins with his wife and baby. My husband said he could have done alot better than his wife as she looked pretty sloppy. My friend said he totally checked me out before I said hello to him. 7/13- had dinner with clients at Table 8 on Melrose and saw Jennifer Love Hewitt dining with friends. She is gorgeous in person, much prettier than I expected.

· Wednesday lunchtime at Toast: Ashlee Simpson! Sitting at the most conspicuous table in the place - the four top right next to the hostess stand. Clearly she wanted to be recognized...and was. About 3 or 4 extremely random looking people came up to hug her/her dining companions. Including one of the hosts at Toast (tacky). She was eating with a mini-me version of herself and some super cheesy guy. No way he was an agent, wasn't slick enough. But he seemed to know everyone. At best, he reminded me of a young game show host. At worst, sort of like the guy you constantly turn down for dates in high school because he's too eager and tries too hard. Couldn't see what they were eating, but Ashlee was adorable with that mop of brown hair, a cotton sundress, and the obligatory oversized sunglasses.

· [Ed.note—Second-hand sightings are usually verboten, but this one uses the term Gaysian, we'll allow it.] My Gaysian neighbor was all giddy about seeing Aaron Eckhart downtown doing his jury duty. According to him, Aaron is way, way hunkier in real life and dressed like the hunky college prof he played in that movie with Paltrow. Damn, I never get anyone hot when I'm on jury duty.

· A translucent Bill Maher and his two dollar hoo-er [Ed.note—Well, that's not very nice.]...errr...girlfriend...on the Jumbotron nervously laughing while getting some loud bicoastal hatred at Friday's Dodgers/Mets game. Up next, a spry Red Buttons (yes, he's still alive!) appeared and was greeted by lots of cheering. I don't know if Karinna ended up in the back of Red's limo on the way back to the Westside, but it's possible. Hoo-ers are like that. Also, poor Robert Wuhl's face appeared on the screen and all you could hear were crickets.

· I think William Shatner was following me around Vegas this weekend. First I narrowly avoided walking straight into him at the Wynn Casino, and then the much more surprising run-in was later that evening (Sunday 8/14) when Shatner showed up to take my Southwest flight back to Burbank. He was with two handler-type people who hustled him on board even before the rest of the pre-boarders, so when I got on the plane they were occupying row 8 (Shatner got the window seat). I thought Boston Legal had decent ratings. I mean, it's only network, so I can see not giving him a private charter, but Southwest?? Maybe he really just enjoys listening to the vocal stylings of the singing flight crew, I don't know.

· Saw Ethan Embry at The Dresden last night (8/16) sharing a bottle of wine with a pretty blonde.They seemed pretty happy and cozy together. Since I'm a fan I was sad to see that he's looking a bit puffy (i.e. fat) these days. All in all he seemed pretty down to earth- he even apologized when one of the staff came over and asked him to get his feet off the booth.

· Last nite a group of us saw the Cant Hardly Wait Beau, Ethan Embry, at The Dresden in a dinner booth. He as having wine and dessert with a hot blonde.He looked very puffy and had gigantic biceps.

· I just moved to San Diego but I still get celebrity sightings. I was driving through downtown on Saturday night (8/13) and I see this large man with a tiny woman puffing away on a cigar. Clearly everyone around was annoyed with the cigar smoke but the guy didn't care. I look closer and its Carl Weathers of Rocky and Action Jackson fame. Looked very puffy and old. [Ed.note—Action Jackson exception granted for out-of-LA sighting.]

· I'll preface this message with an apology for such a lame sighting. Sorry. I saw Ryan Starr of American Idol and subsequent Surreal Life fame at the Main Street Farmer's Market in Santa Monica/Venice on Sunday (8/13) aroung noon. She seemed to be alone, sitting down in very ripped jeans, and really, really tan. Pretty, but like, really tan.

• Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Michael Bay Finally Dresses Well [Defamer]