Gawker: defamer, top gun

Who Knew? The Top 10 Unlikely Vocal Performances From Non-Singing Actors

Seth — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 20:00:00 EDT

In light of Pierce Brosnan's brave, warbling turn in Mamma Mia—as well as recent news that Kate Hudson would veer off the Bongo Romcom highway to explore the musical theater side roads in Rob Marshall's Nine—Defamer videologist Molly McAleer has compiled a countdown of 10 Classic Musical Crossover Performances. We've ordered these from least to most successful; some of these actors-who-sing are arguably better singers than they are actors, and have gone on to cut their own records. Some are clearly better actors than singers. And some should probably just give up both and become something sensible like a dental hygienist or insurance broker. We have no doubt you have your own strong opinions on notable omissions; feel free to post video in the comments.

10. Tom Cruise, Top Gun

9. Renee Zellwegger, Chicago

8. Keira Knightley, Edge Of Love

7. Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge

6. Rupert Everett, My Best Friend's Wedding

5. Diane Keaton, Radio Days

4. Scarlett Johansson, Lost In Translation

3. Gwyneth Paltrow, Infamous

2. Zooey Deschanel, Elf

1. Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You

Kate Hudson Joins Cast of Movie Musical Nine [People]

Tom Cruise's Comeback Film: A Village People Biopic, Starring Tom Cruise In Every Role

Molly Friedman — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:10:00 EDT

As Tom Cruise loves to remind us on his website, he's been prancing around Hollywood for 25 years, playing all kinds of roles we vaguely remember. But who knew all that hard work had been mere preparation for his landmark role in a one-man Village People biopic? In an apparent nod to American history, the patriotic Cruise temporarily abandoned hope for a truce between his army of Xenuphobes and Germany, choosing to split the difference and celebrate this wonderful country L. Ron Hubbard called home. In between the COS founder’s time traveling vacations to ancient Rome and DeLorean rides to the future, that is. And now that Cruise has donned a cowboy hat, tight jeans, and a fitted tee, he’s officially paid homage to each bandmate from that gayer-than-gay feel-good group of song-and-dance men who would surely welcome Cruise into a singalong of “It’s Raining Men.” So among Tom’s many characterizations of the Navy Boy, Earnest Construction Worker, Bad Boy Officer and, of course, Leatherman, which Village Person’s ~~heels~~ shoes does Tom fill out best?

Tom's macho, chest-baring role in Top Gun was less about getting the girl than it was about male bonding, a topic the VP's Military Man knows quite a bit about. And Cruise's shiny leather vest and gelled back hair in Magnolia surely taught him a thing or two about squeezing larger than life pecs into confining fabrics, though a quick viewing of Leatherman's moves will provide guidance on how to bust a move when it's raining men.

Tom spent some time propping a rock hard construction hat atop his pretty mane while overseeing a Crenshaw construction project last year, but we're sure some practice would lead to Cruise mastering the VP Construction Guy's ability to wear that hat without mussing up a 'do. Of course Cruise will have to add some bling to his Independence Day get-up to look as tricked out as the VP Cowboy, and we highly suggest he arm himself as the group's resident cop did, while playing a German officer overseas.

And no, we would never forget the 70s group's peacocked out Indian chief, but without any Dances With Wolves-esque parts on his resume, we suggest summoning fellow nutcase and tribal expert Mel Gibson to step in as Tom's mentor. As long as no one mentions the fact that Cruise is portraying a gay guy dressed head to toe in feathers and plumes, all should be well.

[Photo credits: rotten.com, nerve.com, Bear's Garage, X17]

Oversexed 'Top Gun' BBQ Joint Succumbs to Great Balls of Fire

STV — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:40:00 EDT

Join us today in mourning a true, trashy landmark among film locations, which Top Gun immortalized with a simple declaration of lust 22 years ago and which a fire completely gutted Thursday afternoon. Yes, folks, San Diego's Kansas City BBQ — where Tom Cruise warbled, ahem, "Great Balls of Fire" to Kelly McGillis and where Meg Ryan ordered Anthony Edwards to "take me to bed or lose me forever" — is but a charred, smoky memory:

[A] sign in the restaurant noted that the jet jockey movie's "sleazy bar scene" was filmed there. ... [Fire department spokesman Maurice] Luque estimated damage at $250,000 to the structure and $150,000 to the contents, not including the cost of decades of memorabilia, including photographs and props from the film. Dozens of Navy caps and license plates hung on walls and ceilings.

Firefighters found Navy flight helmets inside the dining area - melted.
"It must've been a very intense fire," Luque said. "You can see where the fire swirled around, then just took everything out."

Of course it was intense; it had Top Gun props as fuel! (This would never happen on the set of Valkyrie.) But no inferno can ever melt our memories, made all the more vivid today by a clip of the BBQ joint's finest hour — in Italian. "Goose! Vai a letto o mi perdere!" Show us the way home, honey.

Fire guts landmark Kansas City Barbeque [SD Union-Tribune]

Val Kilmer Prepares for the Malibu Fun Run

Douglas Reinhardt — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:20:46 EST

Why are you on the run, Iceman? Was your impromptu concert at the Malibu Starbucks interrupted by yawns, highflying Caramel Macchiatos and Gary Busey insisting that he should join in with a ham bone solo and a spiritual chant?

[Photo Credit: X17]