<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, tinker bell]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, tinker bell]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/tinkerbell http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/tinkerbell <![CDATA[Just How Hot Is The New Tinker Bell, And How Much Of A Perv Are You For Thinking So?]]> The Village Voice has gotten a good look at Disney's new straight-to-DVD Tinker Bell (now in 3-D with speaking capabilities!), and declares the 2008 version of the spritely heroine—the original of whom is wrongly rumored to be modeled on Marilyn Monroe—to be a platitudinous pixie snore. They also find her extremely "sexy/creepy...a chubby-cheeked, slightly infantilized adolescent with the body of a grown woman. She sports the skimpiest dress in the movie."

Tinker Bell isn't traditionally the first Disney starlet one's mind wanders to when hoping to be aroused by hand-drawn family entertainment. She's not Ariel, glistening with salt water in a revealing oysterkini top. She's not the gorgeous Esmeralda—the Demi Moore-voiced Hunchback of Notre Dame gypsy enchantress who seduced the deformed gonger with one bat of her emerald eyes. She's not Pocahontas, Mulan, Jasmine, or Belle, either. What is she, anyway? Is she a child? A grown woman? Would she fly up your pants in a darkened theater? And—perhaps most of all—what is it that makes her first-ever broadcast interview with GMA's Chris Cuomo so deeply unsettling? Probably their sexy/creepy chemistry. Jeez, get a room or take it behind the Wishing Tree, will you guys, already?

]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5078805&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Brittany Murphy Back Off The Pixie Dust]]> Two years after Disney executives nudged Brittany Murphy before a roomful of gathered press, then detonated a confetti-filled landmine which left one Reuters photographer legless from the knees down, comes news that the once white-hot Hollywood Was-Girl has been replaced by order of Disney animation head John Lasseter as the voice of Tinker Bell in that sprite's direct-to-video adventures. Explains hollywood-newsroom.com:

[The original] Tinker Bell was a disaster. The story didn’t work, too many fart jokes and lesbian innuendoes. The CGI was subpar. Most importantly, Tinker Bell herself. The animation and Brit’s vocal work lacked the magic Lasseter expected with this iconic Disney character.

Then, Lasseter himself flushed everything regarding Tinker Bell, $120 million, down the toilet. And Tinker Bell went dark. [...]

[On May 29th,] Disney sent out the below press release, announcing that the new NEW voice of Tinker Bell would be…. Mae Whitman! The 19 year old actress, best known for her voice work on Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Jungle Book 2, Johnny Bravo and Superman. She was also the President’s daughter in Independence Day.

Lest you worry about where that leaves Murphy, the actress will continue to breathe new vocal life weekly into King of the Hill's sexually overstimulated Luanna Platter, while reprising her efforts as Shellie the Abused Barmaid in Sin City 2. Still, after all the multicolored fanfare, we feel somewhat robbed of a Murphy-interpreted Tinker Bell, forever nodding off in some Neverland knothole between bouts of involuntary flatulism and hot faerie-on-faerie action.

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