And that is what we got last night in an episode that was soaked in more estrogen than a barrage of commercials about tampons, pregnancy tests, and The September Issue. Thanks Lifetime. With a lack of Michael Kors (bronzer accident?) and a female replacement judge and a challenge that focused entirely on the unborn twins bathing in the glory of Rebecca Romijn's amniotic fluid, the boys really stood no chance last night, and many of them managed to fail quite spectacularly. It's not easy to make a cute outfit for a discerning lady who played a tranny on network television, especially if you have a penis. In fact we had all ladies in the top three and three nice (gay) gentlemen on the bottom. Is this how Lifetime works? Are they going to kick queers out of the fashion industry one elliptical-machine tightened ass at a time? After last night, we wouldn't blame them.

What We Hate:

• Mitchell: If this kid spent as much time sewing as he did clowning around the work room, maybe he wouldn't have sent a naked model down the runway last week and made a pair of shorts this week that looked like a fabric sling MacGyver would make out of a used poncho, a pile or rubber bands, and some bacon grease. Mitchell, as every reality show contestant ever will tell you: you are not here to make friends, you are here to win. Start acting like it.
• Spell Check: That is our affectionate name for Qristyl, who can't go to Mood without having a conniption. Last week she had to open a pair of scissors and cut her own fabric. This week she littered a table with buttons. Deep cleansing breaths, girl, it's only a fabric store. And if you piss off everyone who works there, they are not going to help you find that champagne organza that you need to make your delusional vision come true. Then you're fucked.
• Hot Tranny Meth's Model Walk: Did you see Johnny (aka Hot Tranny Meth) trying to teach his model how to walk the runway? You are not tall, black, or fierce enough to be Miss J. Stop trying. Your outfit kinda rocked this week though, so we're being kind.
• Monique Lhuillier: The replacement for Michale Kors was way too nice. That bores us. And Nina, who does not like the competition.

What We Love:

• Louise: For some reason, kooky Kenley Jr. reminds us of folk singer Susanne Vega, and that makes us love her. We take back our hatred from last week.
• Logan Shirtless: The everyone-getting-ready montage was back last night, and we got a few fleeting seconds of our beloved without his top on. It was as wonderful as walking the red carpet and having everyone scream your name repeatedly while being blinded by flashbulbs.
• Stella jokes: At one point Ra'Mon made an allusion to last season's punk-rock leatherista Stella Zotis. Genius. However, we're not sure that this is even legal. Doesn't Bravo own her likeness, creativity, and soul in this media and every media not yet created from now until Andy Cohen takes his final dirt nap? You better be careful. One Christian Siriano impersonation, and your ass will get sued!
• Skinny Models, Big Bellies: We haven't seen anything this absurd and wonderful since dropping acid at Cirque du Soleil.
• Rebecca Romijn's Heidi Impersonation: Her flirty/sassy goodbye while leaving the runway with our stalwart host was spot on, totally hilarious, and shows she gets the caricature that is Ms. Klum. We're totally team Rebecca.

In the end, there were some designers who had vision, like Shirin who won for her flowing maroon number with a wonderful waist above the baby bump (the tabloids should be damned for creating annoying alliterative idiom) and a lined jacket, which, in Runway-land means an automatic win. Also of note was our girl Althea, whose full-length navy gown looked like an awning at first, but later was tailored into something that showed off her craft and mode her model look amazing. And yes, Hot Tranny Meth pulled it out with a mid-length grey dress with contrast edging and a crazy goobledigoo on one shoulder.

But there were more who were delusional. Epperson (who we are convinced is mute, because he has not said one thing in two episodes) should have been called out for being two braid buns away from making a pregnant Princess Leia costume. Irina's dress was cute, but it had this crazy thing over half the waist that not only made the bump look huge, but also like the embylical cord was trying to grow up the mother's side. And, of course, crazy Malvin, whose concept for a mother and egg dress was just fat too extreme for the natural world. It would have done much better if it stayed in his head.

For more on that—to the videos!

Meltdown of the Week
Context: Thanks to Mitchell, Ra'mon realizes that the dress he is making is a piece of shit. He can't handle Mitchell's teasing, which he then tries to cover up with lies about how good it looks. Like Mitchell should be saying anything, because his outfit is even worse. But they laugh. Oh, these two will giggle all the way to the apocalypse.
Vision: That maybe highlighting a pregnant lady's belly with bright purple fabric wasn't the best idea.
Delusion: That maybe the judges won't notice.
What Would Nina Say?: "I noticed that your model's belly is covered in purple fabric."
Dram-ometer: 4

Under the Gunn
Context: Crazy gay installation artist Malvin would much rather make a fabric sculpture than, you know, something that a real human can wear. He comes up with chickens and eggs as a symbol for pregnant ladies. Oh, Malvin. Tim schools him, and he realizes that the only acceptable time for jodhpurs is the fox hunting number in Mame.
Vision: That listening to Tim Gunn can save him. A very wise vision.
Delusion: That his creation was worth saving.
What Would Nina Say?: "The point of clothing is to have something to wear."
Dram-ometer: 3

Runway Arrogance
Context: Despite realizing that he's making a piece of shit, Ra'mon is momentarily blinded by the apostrophe in his name and thinks that he might actually win, because his piece is different.
Vision: Doing something outside the norm will set him apart.
Delusion: Believing the reason that other people's ensembles all look the same isn't because they're doing something right, but because they are boring and that he will triumph for being a visionary. Sorry, Ra'mon. Too much delusion, not enough vision.
What Would Nina Say?: "Just because you are different doesn't make you right."
Dram-ometer: 7

Runway Arrogance Justified
Context: Shirin watches her winning creation march to victory.
Vision: Make a flattering dress, build a jacket and line it. And don't make people hate you while doing it.
Delusion: None here. Gold stars all around for Shirin.
What Would Nina Say?: Nina never gives praise. She just bows her head in acknowledgment.
Dram-ometer: There's is no drama in a home run.

Back Talk
Context: Malvin thinks the judges care about what he has to say as opposed to the clothing he just made. It is a lackluster defense, because he knows he's doomed.
Vision: If he explains, they will get it, and put him on the cover of Elle Marie Claire.
Delusion: See above.
What Would Nina Say?: See for yourself!
Dram-ometer: 3

The Cruelty of Live as Chronicled on Models of the Runway

Well, you can expect pretty much the same. Heidi will speak with her telephone operator of doom voice, Tim Gunn will gather the kids around, fashion dominatrix Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Elle Marie Claire magazine will say something bitchy, and Michael Kors will cackle his little cackle and all the children will run and hide.

Of course, they are now in L.A. at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising instead of Parsons and there's a new magazine sponsor (way to get fired, Nina!), but they will still shop at Mood and send the models to that palace of beauty, the L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room. Oh, and let us not forget about the All-Star Challenge before the premiere with all of your favorite returning contestants, and the new show Models of the Runway which follows the runway drones do something other than show off the designs. Just what, we're still not sure.

The only variable is always the contestants, who we'll all probably hate tomorrow, except for the ones we love, and we will hate them by the middle of next week.

Speaking of contestants, the finalists' collections were already shown at Fashion Week last February, so the whole world has already seen them (and you can too). There are only three, which means there is no fourth collection to throw off the dogs about who is in and who is out, or in a cruel twist of fate, there are only two finalists and Lifetime has outsmarted us all. We have a hard time believing that.

So, we peeped the looks and compared them to the designer's portfolio's on the show's site and we think we have sussed out just who we're going to be stuck with until the skinny lady sings.

Collection 1: Lots of knits and black pants and leggings. Zero color. There's a bit of inventive draping, but there are also those stupid little gloves that don't even go to the wrist. It belongs to:

Logan Neitzel, lover of John Galliano. He uses the same shiny fabrics, muted colors and over-sized flourishes. Plus, he looks like the kind of boy who would love those stupid gloves.

Collection 2: Lots of draping without a bow, flounce, belt, or asymetrical doo-dad over one shoulder that it doesn't like. It belongs to:

Viviane Westwood wannabe Althea Harper, who uses just as much embellishment and loves something over only one shoulder. Just look at the picture.

Collection 3: It is black like the tortured heart of a poet. There are lots of pants and shredded things. Oh, and stupid hats. It belongs to:

Irinia Shabayeva, who channels Jean Paul Gaultier. She also loves black, and pants and crazy-shaped pants. Though, she does look too fabulous for those hats.

Of course it's Lifetime's fault. It's the exact same show, other than the fact it's set in L.A. and now on Lifetime. Sure, the show's new network is advertising the design competition's debut in magazines and subway cars and on television, but it's not getting the traction that Bravo's campaigns always did—possibly because the ads only show host Heidi Klum and the show's mentor/mascot Tim Gunn, and not any of the contestants. Even though the finale for season six has already been filmed, it seems like we know nothing about the new batch of designers that will be bitching about bobbins starting Thursday.

Also, Bravo knew how to bring the mania up to a fever pitch. They would advertise a new season relentlessly and show marathons of previous seasons for entire weekends getting the fans back in the mood. Lifetime doesn't have that luxury. Also, we spend a lot of time watching Bravo (hello, various Housewives, Flipping Out, Top Chef, and Andy Cohen) and only tune into Lifetime to catch the odd Golden Girls rerun. Even if they did have spots for the new season, we wouldn't see them.

And just today, the channel that specializes in television for women (and gay men), sent out a press release alerting the world that Runway has a MySpace page. MySpace?! Is it 2005? A show about fashion can not afford to be out of touch. It's all about Facebook and Twitter these days. Oh, speaking of Facebook, Lifetime's version of the show is on there and has 25,413 fans whereas the Bravo seasons have 122,534 fans. Burn.

Lifetime just doesn't seem to have the street cred to carry this thing off. No matter what they do, their Runway will always be a knock off purse compared to Bravo's Louis Vuitton. It may look the same, smell the same, and even have the same logo, but we all know it came from Canal Street and there is nothing you can do to sell it as the real thing.

Or, as a huge fan of the show more succinctly told us when asked if he was excited about the new show: "L.A.? Lifetime? No."

The channel announced today that the Project Runway All-Star Challenge two-hour special will air on Thursday, August 20, right before the first episode of the sixth season of Bravo's former crown jewel and the first episode of Models of the Runway, their ill-fated attempted to beat Tyra Banks at picking America's next top clothes hanger.

Being devotees of the program, of course we have opinions about the returning cast as Tim Gunn tells them to "gather 'round" once more.

Daniel Vosovic, Season 2: Best known as the chic but unseasoned designer who won nearly every challenge his season. His clothes are as cute as he is. Odds on winning: 2-1

Santino Rice, Season 2: The greasy villian and yard sale impresario was taking interesting risks when he wasn't designing something that looked like maroon goose vomit. Odds on winning: 10-1

Jeffrey Sebelia, Season 3: The only winner to return, this tattoo-necked jerk combined rock 'n' roll and couture. We always thought he combined ug and ly, but the judges liked it. Odds on winning: 3-2

Uli Herzner, Season 3: Her flowing gowns already lost to Sebelia once, but we always thought she never got the respect she deserved. Odds on winning: 10-1

Mychael Knight, Season 3: The fan favorite was a shoo-in to win his season before his ghetto-tastic final collection shit the bed. Now he's got something to prove. Odds on Winning: 15-1

Chris March, Season 4: He got kicked off and came back only to take his human hair dresses to the final. This big boy with a big laugh won't win, but he'll be our favorite. Odds on Winning: 30-1

Sweet P, Season 4: How did she ever make it to the final? Yeah, she was charming and some of her baby doll dresses were cute, but we don't remember a single thing she made, except her frequent tears. Odds on Winning: 40-1

Korto Momolu, Season 5: She was the biggest surprise of her class, and we have a feeling that she has been thinking up some great ideas while she was sitting at home plotting her fashion revenge. Odds on Winning: 5-1

Ok!
"Real Sizes Revealed."
Guess what? Most stars are thin! Between a size 0 and size 4. The highest dress size number on this spread is a 6/8: Mariah Carey. Brooke Shields wears a jean size 29. Really hard-hitting stuff. Moving on: Jessica Biel is threatening to break up with Justin Timberlake; she was overheard saying on a phone, "I'm sick and tired of his bullshit." Although she could have been talking about her agent, or a dog. Anyway, Justin "craves guy time" and is "constantly flirting." There are two pages on Bethenny from Real Housewives, who wears a bikini and talks about her diet book. Lastly, Tim Gunn is photographed with his pants down (Fig 1). It's sort of adorable, and due to his avuncular demeanor, it's also sort of weird. He says: "I haven't been on a date in 26 years." Awww. But then he says: "It might sound selfish, but I am very happy being alone."
Grade: F, upgraded to F+ for Tim Gunn (broken locks)

Life & Style
"Thin By Summer!" Margaret skipped this story but did see pictures of chicken on a plate and a person working out, so she deduces that much like ALL OTHER diet stories, this one advocates eating healthy and exercising. Moving on: "Lindsay's Back To Boys," since she hooked up with some dude named Chris Jepson at a house party in L.A. He works as a manager at Bungalow 8 in London. At the party in Hollywood, the two "disappeared into the bathroom" for 45 minutes. People were knocking on the door! LL reportedly told Mel B. that she's "back on men." The mag asks, "was she ever really into girls in the first place?" A psychologist who does not treat her explains that bisexuality means you can sometimes like dudes and sometimes like chicks. Jennifer Aniston is "holed up in her hotel" in NY because she's afraid of running into Angelina Jolie on the street or in restaurants. The mag copy reads: "Making matters worse, Jen was still dating John Mayer at the Oscars, but now she's single, and running into Angie would only rub salt in her wounds." Also in the article: "The bottom line is, she's pretty lonely." A four page story addresses the burning question: "Is Robert [Pattinson] The Sexiest Man On Earth?" There are diagrams, quotes and arrows pointing to the sparkly vampire's "soulful eyes." 90210 star Kellan Lutz says: "Rob is Edward. He's so complicated, so poetic, so sensual." What else? In a two page interview with Real Housewives Jill Zarin about her breast-reduction surgery, she says "I wanted to go public with my story to show women that there is no shame in wanting to look and feel your best, as long as it's done safely." Bless you! This week in Dr. Rey's Casebook, it's "Who Has The Best Hands In Hollywood?" Rosario Dawson, 29, has "flawless, young-looking" hands. Dr. Rey says, "She probably uses a good skin cream, like Dr. Rey's Well-In-Hand." And, in a horrifying display of Frankenstein-like Photoshop, Sarah Jessica Parker is given Reese Witherspoon's hands (Fig 2).
Grade: D- (missing knob)

Star
"Rehab For Tori!" Candy Spelling says she'd be willing to pay for Tori to get treatment for anorexia. Tori has said that she is not anorexic, but that, like many busy moms, she tends to just pick food off the plate of her kid. The mag adds up the value of bits and scraps of food and comes up with 130 calories. A nutritionist who does not treat her says "If Tori is only eating 130 calories, then she is definitely not consuming enough." Really? Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are "drifting apart." Jess wants to get hitched and start a family; Justin likes things the way they are. Someone overheard Alicia Silverstone talking to Amy Heckerling and so there might be a sequel to Clueless. Blind item: "Which TV starlet is really on the rebound? She's got a new body, a new gig and even a new guy. The only problem is, he's married. She makes a show of partying solo as a distraction." Moving on: John Mayer is dating a model, Scheana Marie Jancan. There are six pages of "Stars Without Makeup" and bitchy blurbs like this: "When Miley goes out minus her red carpet war paint, she looks just as blotchy and unkempt as the average teenage girl." Britney and Kevin had a "talk" about having more babies together. Her idea. She's "seriously considering" their future together. She wants to have more kids before she gets too old so she can "relate" to them. In Brad and Angelina news, when he came back from France, he brought home an antique rocking chair and a Cartier ring for Angie: "Pre-push presents." Rihanna's best friend Melissa never liked Chris Brown and was the one who urged RiRi to stay away. But! She also urged Rihanna not to appear on Oprah and talk about domestic violence. Lastly: Star uses its art department muscle and creates a photo composite of what Susah Boyle would look like if she had a makeover [Fig 3].
Grade: D (rusted, squeaky hinges)

Us
"We're Having Baby No. 4"
Heidi Klum and Seal are expecting! Do they want a girl? "We would be happy with either, but it would be a lie if I said we all weren't hoping for a little girl. Especially Leni, because she would love to have a little sister." Also, Heidi says of Seal: "I knew right away he was my dream husband." There are six pages of awesome quotes and pictures and info about how the kids wear hand-me-downs. Next: "Would You Let Chris Brown Hold Your Baby?" Well, 67% of readers said No [Fig. 4]. Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal went to Coachella and were spotted hugging and singing along to the music, yawn. Lastly, you may not know this, but Beyoncé, Amy Winehouse and Juliette Lewis consider Urkel fashion inspiration [Fig 5].
Grade: D+ (high threshold)

In Touch
"Brad Moves Out." This cover is not to be confused with last August's "Brad Storms Out" or May 2008's "Brad Walks Away." [Fig. 6] This particular story is vague about what Angelina and Brad were fighting about, and the fact that he left the house and went to France to check on renovations — and then came back — proves nothing. Also inside: In a picture of Mariah Carey looking curvy, a trainer who does not work with her estimates that she weighs 175 lbs. An insider says "She is going crazy trying to slim down. She looks at old pictures and compares her weight and talks about her body nonstop." Sounds healthy! Also, Oprah's straight hair is making her look thinner. Another fake wedding for Heidi and Spencer? It's supposed to happen this weekend in Pasadena. A source says, "It's just a plot line, they're not really getting married." It's happening in a church that's also a "closed set" and The Hills cast will attend. The producers want Lauren to "do something dramatic." A "pal" says of Speidi, "They would have a fake baby if people would watch them on TV." Did you know that Gavin Rossdale had a relationship with a dude in the past? The gentleman in question is a rocker known as Marilyn [Fig. 7]. Marilyn says of Gavin: "He was the love of my life. We were together 5 years, but it felt like 40." Then there are a smattering of pictures Marilyn looking like Gwen Stefani [Fig. 8] Evidence points to the fact that Gavin and Marilyn are friends. Katie Holmes is one step closer to her "baby dream" because there is a picture of her holding her stomach. In Nadya Suleman news, the mother of octuplets was indeed a stripper for at least a year in her early 20s and "enjoyed the experience a lot." She got fired from some bar because she kept breaking the "no touching" rule. But! Before that, she did private parties and was known as "the closer," the one who would do "special favors" for the men — beyond lap dancing or even touching. The mag prints a signed contract from the club, and — get this — Suleman's stripper name was Angelina. Next: Kevin Federline might get paid to lose weight, as he's been offered a deal with NutriSystem. Jennifer Love Hewitt says, "I always takes bubble baths wearing a tiara. I am a grown-up who bathes in a tiara! One that I got from Disneyland." Lastly, how do you top pictures of horses with hairdos [Fig. 9]? All in all, good stuff, except for the stoopid fake cover story.
Grade: C (ripped screen)

Fig. 1

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Fig. 6

Fig. 7

Fig. 8

Fig. 9

According to Racked:

We never saw the three finalists-just their collections. The first was urban, body-conscious, and leather-heavy; the second dramatic and feminine; and the third, which struck us as the most sophisticated, involved a lot of structured jackets, big sweaters, and Peter Pan hats.

Based on these descriptions and the photos below, we think we can safely determine the following:

Designer #1: The quiet female contestant from Des Moines, Iowa, whose designs are "urban" and "street" for some reason.
Catchphrase: "Z.X. and Candelabra got into a bitch-fight at Mood and I was just like, 'No drama, homies.' (Sigh)."

Designer #2: The older villain who channels his inability to break into the upper echelons of the fashion world into chain-smoking and less-clever-than-he-thinks put-downs.
Catchphrase: "Listen: I've designed red carpet looks for Ali Larter and Vivica A. Fox, Okaaay?"

Designer #3: The adorable, gay fan favorite.
Catchphrase: "Oh. My God. That emline-hay is SO abulous-fay!"

Also, Heidi Klum was dressed like a main character's one-shot lesbian cousin from Dynasty. That is all.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Tim Gunn talked to New York to reveal exactly how the show will go on without spoiling the eventual, held-hostage season to come:

How is this show going to work?
You'll see the whole construct of it, but needless to say, the designers whose collections are presented will not be presenting their collections THEMSELVES, because then everyone would know who they are.

Oh.
So you'll see collections from extremely talented people, but you won't be able to place the designer with the collection.

So it's just going to be a bunch of clothes?
Yeah. But not unlike any fashion show, except that you know it's Diane Von Furstenberg or Carmen Marc Valvo. In this case, you'll see the number of collections we present, but you won't know whose is whose. [...]

So it seems like no one will be able to go backstage, because then they'd see the designers, correct?
Let me put it this way: We could put all the designers in front of you in a room. You wouldn't know who they are.

Great, just what Project Runway needed: Lost-ian flash forwards that make us comb for clues all season to determine which sassy, skinny gays will put together the collections we've already seen. Add some nosebleeds, a confused Heidi Klum asking, "When are we?" and the smoke monster supplanting Fern Malis as the final judge, and we'll finally have the answer to the eternal question of "What exactly is the island?" (Manhattan, of course.)

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Tim Gunn Just As Confused About Project Runway As We Are [New York]

• Tracking 'Running in Heels'.... BlackBook News... Clive Owen Feted... [WWD]

This morning, about 10:45am, I was returning some clothes to the Michael Kors store on Rodeo Drive when I had to cross a big picket line of shouting strikers (all male writers, WGA posters and banners) protesting "Project Runway." They had pulled the fire alarm on the nearby Valentino store also, adding to the noise of their shouting. I walked past them and the two security guards and went to enter the store, and upon opening the front door was startled to see Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum staring at me! They were obviously shooting a segment for the upcoming season, as there were lights and baffling filling the entire showroom. I quickly shut the door and ended up giving my good to a saleswoman who cam around from the back. There was a huge crowd watching all of this and taking pictures. I don't know how they are going to edit this as I'm certain the yelling and commotion could be heard inside the store.

While we sympathize with their cause, we would never condone committing illegal acts of vandalism or mischief in order to get a point across. Interrupting a location shoot with chants of "Heidi Heidi Heidi Ho! Klum and Kors have got to go!" is one thing, therefore, but setting off a neighbor's fire alarm is quite another. Besides—they could have achieved the same eardrum-lacerating effect just by having invited contestant Kenley to stand in the entranceway and talk excitedly about her new collection.

• Previously: Kenley Collins: 'Runway' Villainess Ascendant [Defamer]

Tim Gunn did something when he started out on "Project Runway" that he'd probably never advise his design proteges to do. He worked for nothing. In testimony in N.Y. State Supreme Court this month, movie/TV mogul Harvey Weinstein told the judge that the fashion mentor wasn't paid anything in the show's first season.

The second season wasn't much better for Gunn: He got only $2,500 per episode, according to testimony in the court battle, which pits NBC/Universal against the Weinstein Co., which owns "Project Runway," over taking Heidi Klum's popular show from NBC's Bravo to Lifetime.

That's right: by the time Chloe Dao (who?) accepted the season two grand prize, Tim Gunn had made a combined $35,000 for seasons one and two. Let's hope that Gunn has since been able to caucus with Weinstein and raise his price; earning such a low figure for his tireless Runway work is less than "fierce"...in fact, it's not even "'licious."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Tim Gunn's 'Run'-pay: Thin's in [New York Daily News]

• Project Runway [Bravo]

It's not exactly "Everyone's on pins and needles!", is it?

• Project Runway [Bravo]

Well, guess what, Rami! You can proceed to suck it, cause Christian now has $100,000, a spread in Elle, and a fierce Saturn hatchback to help him learn. Cause he WON, bitches! He turned this mother out. Guess Christian let it slip on Regis and Kelly after all! How does that feel, Rami? Probably less than feroche.

• Project Runway

Even more shocking, however, is Gunn's frank disparagement of Hillary Clinton's personal style, which he suggests is probably better suited for a Secret Service agent nearing retirement. Siding with the impossibly pretty John Edwards that she would be best to throw her infamous pink jacket onto a small mountain of calf-length power suits and set the pile ablaze, we still doubt Gunn was suggesting the Presidential hopeful is beyond salvation. On the contrary, all she really needs is to to be locked in a room with Christian for a few hours, upon which the Project Runway frontrunner would put his bionic tailoring skills to good use, giving her a 17-piece, high-concept Three Musketeers outfit that would all but certainly tip fence-sitters into her super, super, super chic camp.

• Late Night with Conan O'Brien [NBC]

Sir Tim delivered, immediately railing on Sanjaya. He said that, though his hair was "a little less exuberant than normal ... he looked like he belonged with Spanky on 'Our Gang'!"

"People were lined up in droves just to see him. He was a huge draw. He had three rude security guards around him and I literally had to fight to get to the table."

"He's a kid. He's not been out. He doesn't really know how to conduct himself in public yet. He's 17. I wonder where he's gonna be in a year," Tim said.

Sanjaya's date was his mom, and I'm tickled by the notion of Tim Gunn struggling to make conversation with MamaSanjaya. It sounds to me like it was some struggle. Neither Sanjaya nor his mother had ever seen or heard of a little show called "Project Runway."

Despite being a reality-TV-made celebrity, Gunn has always seemed uncommonly gifted at maintaining his own dignity through it all. Our hearts therefore go out to the man for having to endure not just a series of excruciatingly unfunny Nixon impressions, but the ensuing media frenzy surrounding a sissy celebrity who doesn't even possess the most basic pattern-making skills—forcing him, we imagine, to modify his trademarked catchphrase to an exasperated, "Make it stop."

• Sir Tim Does DC and Sanjaya! [BravoTV.com]