Celebrity: David Hasselhoff and Gary Coleman
Car: K.I.T.T.
Why So Embarrassing: It's the creepy thumbs up that makes this picture awesome to everyone not in it.
Suggested By: F1Morgan, Scandanavian Flick

Celebrity: 50 Cent
Car: Pontiac G8 GXP
Why So Embarrassing: Though we love the car, it doesn't particularly do it any good to get tarted up by 50 Cent on what seems to be the down-slope of his career. We bet Kanye could have sold more G8s.
Suggested By: BuickBoy92

Celebrity: Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, John Travolta, William H. Macy
Car: Harley Davidson Bikes
Why So Embarrassing: The four of them look like a gay biker gang, but not in the good way. We do give them props for their realistic portrayal of the typical lame Harley owner in this shot from the film Wild Hogs.
Suggested By: Golferal

Celebrity: Michael Johnson
Car: C4 Corvette
Why So Embarrassing: Oh so 1990s. You may be fast, but you'll never outrun this Glamour Shot.
Photo Credit: Mike Powell /Allsport

Celebrity: Mila Kunis
Car: Lexus SC430
Why So Embarrassing: We're not big fans of the Lexus SC430, but it's not particularly embarrassing. Parking it in a handicapped spot to grab a coffee is.

Celebrity: Michael Phelps
Car: Mazda6/Atenza
Why So Embarrassing: Immediately following his pot bust/gold medal marathon Phelps was tasked with pushing the Mazda brand in China. We'd probably start using drugs as well.

Celebrity: Andre Agassi
Car: Vector W8
Why So Embarrassing: Posing near a Vector W8 is only cool in a semi-ironic sort of way. In this case, Agassi is trying to show off all he has: big hair, awkward car, soon-to-be-ex girlfriend.

Photo Credit: John Russell/Getty Images

Celebrity: Danica Patrick
Car: Chevrolet Bel Air
Why So Embarrassing: Danica Patrick is talented, but she also understands the connection between her sex appeal and her ability to get sponsors. Unfortunately, this photo is just awkward. It's supposed to be enticing and seductive but the strange outfit and uncomfortable look makes us wish we'd never seen this photo.
Suggested By: PowerMatic

Photo Credit: FHM/George Holz/JEGPhoto

Celebrity: Adam West
Car: Chrysler 300C
Why So Embarrassing: Adam West, Batman, drives an old man car. Whatever, he's hilarious. He gets away with it. What he doesn't get away with is the "NBR1BAT" license plate. Holy Vanity Plate Batman!
Suggested By: 57sweptside

Celebrity: Conan O'Brien
Car: Ford Taurus SHO
Why So Embarrassing: Yes, Conan O'Brien is trying to look ridiculous. Yes, we love the Ford Taurus SHO. This is embarrassing for Conan because his attempts at appearing silly fail. You look awesome Conan.
Suggested By: Nerdwa

Celebrity: Sting
Car: Toyota Prius
Why So Embarrassing: Really, the guy who wrote Outlandos d'Amour is suddenly out cruising town in a Prius. We thought tantric sex was about extending the pleasure. Hybrids cut it way short, Gordy.
Suggested By: JamesMarino

Celebrity: Michael Schumacher
Car: Fiat Work Van
Why So Embarrassing: Schumacher looks the part too well. Also, "the quick gardner" sounds like a bad German translation of a man who fires quickly in bed.
Suggested By: Mr_Sives_Remotoc.

We expect that Karason's life rights will be optioned by the close of business today, ultimately resulting in an only tangentially related Tim Allen vehicle about a mall Santa Claus who struggles to make apprehensive children see the jolly, warm-hearted man beneath that initially off-putting layer of icy-seeming, blue-tinted skin.

• Blue Man Seeks Acceptance [ABC30 via Consumerist]

In today's anemic, pre-Memorial Day Weekend episode: Ray Romano; Joel McHale; Larry King; Tim Allen; John Mayer; Billy Baldwin and Mario Van Peebles; Scott Caan; Ed Helms and Tony Hawk; Andy Dick; Nicole Richie; Usher; Lance Bass; and Francois Chau.

· Two sightings on Monday, May 21:
Ray Romano with some friends at Sushi Nozawa in the Valley at lunchtime. The new guy on Talk Soup (Joel McHale) at the Dodgers game later that night with a guy friend and their dates.

· Not only did I see Larry King at Al's Newsstand in Beverly Hills this morning (5-23), but I saw him wearing designer jeans; squiggly lines on the back pockets and everything. I sensed a boot cut but cannot confirm. Hello!

· 5-23 Just saw Tim Allen and three buddies, all in black t-shirts and looking biker-esque (his technical advisers for Wild Hogs?), at the Pit Fire in NoHo. The Toolman has a bit of a gut and that chubby man's forward propulsion style of walk, but his arms were impressive. Probably bulked from lifting bags of ill-gotten Disney money.

· Tuesday 5/22 Saw John Mayer at Mexicali on Ventura Blvd. Jessica Simpson was not with him although they do serve a "Jessica Simpson Margarita" there! I wonder if that's what John was drinking? He's a lot taller than I expected - maybe 6'2''.

· 5/24, 10:30am, John O'Groats: Billy Baldwin having breakfast with Mario Van Peebles. After they finished eating, BB disappeared into the men's room and we never saw him come out. Maybe there is a secret back door? I hope he didn't stick Mario with the bill.

· Scott Caan was at the Daily Grill in the Tom Bradley Terminal on Sunday. He was wearing a typical leather jacket & t-shirt and jeans, and was with some other hipster early 30 something in a vintage T-shirt and jeans. Maybe his manager or something. They barely said a word to each other because they were both on their blackberries the whole time.

· I saw Ed Helms and Tony Hawk with two of his kids walking around on the Fox Studio's lot yesterday (5-21). I think they were there for the LA Screenings or maybe visiting the set of Eddie Murphy's new movie Starship Dave.

· 5-23 Andy Dick in an office building in Century City. He actually looked sober, although it was only noon.

· Nicole Richie and her little entourage were in full effect Tuesday night at The Comedy Store in West Hollywood. I'm a comic, and the guy who went up right before me (some newbie to the comedy scene who was frantically going over notes before his set), said that she was there to see him.

He was a total hottie and his name was Ashley. His entire act was
about being in rehab, so I'm thinking... maybe he met Nicole in rehab? And, there was no Joel M in sight.

They stayed long enough to watch my set... in which I just sing songs about celeb gossip, so I sang my song about Paris going to jail. There's even a line about "ditching that little bitch Nicole Ritch... ie." That got a bigger laugh than usual.

· lindbrook avenue in westwood - 8:30 pm, last thursday, during a class break, my friend and i went to baja fresh for a snack. as we stood in line, we noticed the employees were a little distracted. they were all atwitter and kept looking off to our left... finally we watched a tiny little employee tear off a piece of register receipt walk over to the young man sitting alone at a table and ask for an autograph. we looked over to see that it was "URSHER got the voice make ya booty go (clap)." yes, it was USHER, alone, getting some fajitas to go and REFUSING to be photographed, much to the dismay of the tiny employee.

· 5/21: Why did everyone fail to mention to me that, on Mondays, Hollywood = ghost town? After four failed attempts at finding an open and rockin' watering hole, Parc finally gave way to success. Barely a wait outside; the sole VIP for whom the velvet ropes parted before us plebes was Mr. Lance 'Perez-outed-me' Bass, with a mere two paps in hot pursuit (he must already be old news, qu é triste). He's really quite dashing in person and finally gave me proof that Hollywood men whose height surpasses my own really do exist. Too bad they all play for the other team. 5'8" chicks can barely catch a break in this town.

· Who: Francois Chau
No, Seriously, Who?: He plays Dr. Marvin Candler, the narrator in the instructional films within the show Lost.
Where: Block Party in Echo Park
When: Saturday, May 19

I think this rates as M-list for most people, by A-list for complete dorks, like myself.

(He's on the right, reaching for his daughter.)