Gawker: defamer, the life aquatic

The Datalounge Investigates Owen Wilson's Speedo

Mark — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:17:54 EST

The size-queens at the Datalounge get down to the dirty business of examining the contents of Owen Wilson's Speedo. Here's a sampling of the careful forensic investigation:

· "That is clearly air that is trapped in his speedo. And I wouldn't care if he had a dick bigger than Rick Donovan, he's still ugly as hell with a moron accent."

· "'Owen Wilson's Enormous Wang' would be a great name for a band."

· "Good lord. If that's all it takes to get you queens in an uproar, no wonder I'm so popular. THAT'S enormous?"

· "I think the dick he calls a nose is bigger."

· "what's the big deal? doesn't everyone get hard in tepid water under lights with hundreds of people milling around? jeez."

· "[A]t least he's got a substantial chubby. Probably between six and seven "rampant." Correction: ... between seven and eight "rampant."

Owen Wilson's Enormous Wang [Datalounge]

The Life Aquatic With That Thing In Owen Wilson's Speedo [Defamer]

The Life Aquatic With That Thing In Owen Wilson's Speedo

Mark — Fri, 14 Jan 2005 14:36:47 EST

A reader was so taken aback by something he thought he saw in Owen Wilson's Speedo in this hot tub scene from The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou that he tracked down an Academy screener to get a screen-grab. (If you can't see what we're talking about, look under his right elbow.) Are Wilson and director Wes Anderson trying to stir up a new Loch Ness monster legend with a Boogie Nights-style prosthetic? Real or not, Wilson's going to have no problems finding a date for the Oscars, whether or not he winds up disappointing her at the end of the night.

UPDATE: We don't have a lot of experience with Speedos, but isn't the idea that they're tight and resistant to things such as air bubbles or fabric bunching up?

Related: Everyone's a size queen: Rush and Molloy review Jamie Foxx's unit, while a Real Worlder finds out why they call Justin the "Trousersnake."

Short Ends: The Adidas Zissou, White Whale Of Footwear

Mark — Fri, 07 Jan 2005 19:01:56 EST

· Defamer's white whale, the semifictional Adidas Zissou sneaker from The Life Aquatic, is still not for sale. We will have them! [via witz.org]
· Even Palestinians who've never heard of Richard Gere wish he'd shut the f up.
· It's a miracle that it's taken this long for a viewer to sue Fear Factor. Apparently, rats in a blender is the official threshold for litigation.
· Colin Farrell: Sex with hookers is like ordering a pizza. We don't even want to know what he's into, but the phrase "extra anchovies" is suddenly chilling.

"Bastard" Bill Murray Confronted By Cameraman

Mark — Thu, 16 Dec 2004 14:41:03 EST

Page Six reports that a disgruntled cameraman let loose on the lately-sainted Bill Murray during a recent screening of The Life Aquatic WIth Steve Zissou:

At a Q&A session with director Wes Anderson, Anjelica Huston, Willem Dafoe and some of the rest of the cast at the Hollywood event, one man announced, "I am a cameraman, and I've worked with all the actors onstage. Anjelica, you're wonderful. Willem — you're great. But, Bill — you are a bastard. You are horrible to work with. My question is for Wes and the cast. What's it like to work with someone as awful and difficult as Bill Murray?"... Murray didn't react at all. "I was a cameraman on 'Charlie's Angels,' and Bill Murray is awful," the man continued. "I have every right to say that."

In our sepia-toned fantasies of the confrontation, this "cameraman" was actually Lucy Liu in man-drag. Odds are that at least one of our readers witnessed the thrown-down, and we're always willing to set the record straight—even if it's not as exciting as our Liu fantasy. And, really, how could it be? (Please, no jokes about Cameron Diaz in a strap-on.)

'HORRIBLE' BILL MURRAY JEERED [NY Post]

Wes Anderson Vs. Starbucks

Mark — Tue, 14 Dec 2004 11:19:19 EST

The Crude Futures blog notices an eerie similarity between two typefaces that have been ubiquitous during this holiday season. It's almost enough to drive a typographically-obsessed auteur back to his Big Book of Fonts, rocking back and forth for hours on end until he finds a new one that "feels" right. Eventually, realizing that going back and altering The Life Aquatic before its release this weekend is prohibitively expensive, Wes Andesron will have no choice but to capitulate and seek a promotional tie-in campaign between his movie and the gingerbread latte.

[More on Anderson and his love affair with Futura here, here, and here.]

BEAT JUICE: The Life Aquatic movie titling style vs. Starbucks "Holiday 2004" identity [Crude Futures]
Piracy Paranoia, Part II: The Life Aquatic Screening [Defamer]