Gawker: defamer, the late show

Career Suicide Caps Joaquin Phoenix's 'Late Show' Stupid Human Tricks

STV — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 11:30:37 EST

For all the hoaxy drama behind Joaquin Phoenix's hip-hop ambitions, you can't say the guy isn't serious about effectively throwing his film career away after watching his spectacular self-immolation last night on The Late Show.

Phoenix ostensibly visited New York on Wednesday to promote his new film Two Lovers, but the movie proved secondary to the faux-enigmatic persona that left the actor muttering nothing in particular between long, awkward silences abetted by David Letterman himself. The results speak for themselves, as did Casey Affleck's camera-wielding appearance at the day's earlier press rounds in New York, which we hear wound up having even less to do with Lovers than Phoenix's hirsute, gum-depositing late-night escapades. So enjoy what promises to be the last of the star's half-assed film interests, at least until Darren Aronofsky digs him out of hiding 20 years from now for a moving, Oscar-ready comeback. We'll be waiting. [CBS]

Liv Tyler Is Back On The Market And, Hey! Eyes Up Here!

Molly Friedman — Tue, 20 May 2008 12:30:55 EDT

Judging by her appearance on The Late Show Friday night, Liv Tyler isn’t wasting any time moping over her recent separation from husband Royston Langdon. Showing up in a body-hugging little black silk dress, its lace top doing little to cover up cleavage, and pounds of makeup covering her typically bare face, it looks as though Tyler is taking a page from the Gwyneth Paltrow Guide To Hot Rock Moms. But does the trampy look work on Tyler? A closer look after the jump.

Tyler tried the whole vamp thing as that redheaded pin-up in One Night At McCool's, but we vastly prefer Liv as the vanilla nice girl who's way too beautiful to ever need makeup. Like her grungy, flannel-wearing Empire Records part, or really, any Aerosmith video she ever pole-danced or lap-danced her way through. This Jessica Rabbit look may nab the attention of those sidewalk schlubs below, but Liv is one of those rare actresses with the enviable capability of going out in jeans and no lipstick, still looking red-carpet ready.

[Photo credits: Splash]

FROM ELF TO VAMP: NEWLY SINGLE LIV TYLER'S SHOCKING LOOK [Daily Mail]

Renee Zellweger Coins New Term For Frozen Snot, Wins Back Our Love By Impersonating It

Molly Friedman — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:10:00 EDT

Renee Zellweger may have brought the va va voom factor to Letterman last night in her body-hugging red Old Hollywood dress, but one of her talking points was far from glamorous. While chatting with Dave about shooting Chilled In Miami in temperatures she claimed reached 57 below, Renee delves deep into the physical effects that kind of weather can have on the body, particularly the ways in which bodily fluids react to icy weather. And those effects do not look pretty in close-ups. But thanks to her sugary Southern accent and last-minute decision to impersonate her own snot for Dave, we're ready to forgive her for all that twitchy Hitchcock-inspired emoting she slaughtered us with last month. [CBS]

WATCH VIDEO

Martha Stewart Is No Lush, But She Sure Loves Getting Talk Show Hosts Trashed

Molly Friedman — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:05:50 EDT

After gleefully watching along as Martha Stewart doused Conan O'Brien with all sorts of lush-inducing cocktails, from Guinness to gin to mystery concoctions, we put on our thinking caps and sorted through our clip-clustered memories. After we cleared the cobwebs a bit, we remembered that this wasn't the first time Martha shared her love of liquor with television hosts. Loyal Defamer readers will recall her 8am rise-and-shine mixers with Meredith Vieira on The Today Show last month, and insomniacs will certainly remember her booze-on-the-brain appearance on The Late Show last week (in which she listed at least four indecipherable drinks she calls her "favorites"). But her fondness of ladylike cocktails doesn't stop there. Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer put together a burp-filled mashup of our favorite Professional Housewife's alcohol-drenched appearances of late; as always, video is available the jump.

Whether she's introducing her audience to the magic of whiskey sours, or waxing enthusiastic about her love of vodka to Mer, or simply listing every single drink imaginable to poor perplexed Dave (um, did she really just say "wine spitzer"? We knew she had a funny bone, but among all the Luv Guv-related scandalicious terminology thrust at us from every media outlet we tune in to, that's gotta top our lists), Martha is no longer just the Queen of napkin-folding and flower arrangements. We're hiring her to bartend our next birthday party.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW [Official Site]