Gawker: defamer, the l word

Showtime Falls Back Into Lesbian Drama (And This Time It's Real)

Andrew Belonsky — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 01:36:49 EDT

First gay housewives, now lesbian housewives? We've seen everything. Or, we will, because Showtime picked up nine episodes of a new Sapphic reality show. Yay! It's title? Not so new: The L-Word: Los Angeles.

So, yes, Showtime and Ilene Chaiken, creator of the lesbian soap The L Word, have again teamed up to pipe even more lesbian drama into America's homes. They're being mum on the details, so we're offering some of our own:

Considering that Chaiken will be a part of the show, there's no doubt in our mind that some lesbian power couple will be included. Ellen and Portia are way above such antics, but we would settle for Jamie Babbit and Andrea Sperling, who brought us But I'm a Cheerleader and, yes, worked on a few episodes of The L Word. Plus, the couple has two children, so we can all get a "two mommies" moment.
While we're on the subject of Hollywood's lesbian machine, how about inviting Top Gun actress Kelly McGillis to appear? She just came out and that always brings drama.
It would be good for Chaiken to include a young dykette. Sure, she may not fit the "housewives" criteria, but you know how the lesbians love to take a youngin' under their wing and help them fly. Maybe McGillis can be the teacher.
Now, we know this isn't likely, but we'll bring it up anyway: The L Word was great both for its over-the-top drama and its unabashed lesbian sex. We're sure there won't be any sexxx scenes on this new show. Titties, however, are definitely encouraged. Maybe a lesbian stripper trying to make it as a singer? We would also settle for a lesbian stand-up comic. Who shows her titties.
We also envision a butch dyke worker who has a hot-ass wife who spends her days on Rodeo Drive shopping and getting her nails just right. Also, a woman with a really girly profession, like secretary or teacher.
Please, please don't have anything centering around the gay and lesbian community center. Yes, we're glad they exist and all, but they're a total drag. And the lighting's always so hetero.
No fat chicks. (Ha! We kid, of course. Don't hurt us!)

Why The Racy New Ad Campaign For 'Gossip Girl' Will Backfire

Molly Friedman — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:15:00 EDT

Gossip Girl, the show that the media can't stop gushing over despite the fact that nobody actually watches it or anything, has of course been renewed for a second season. And in an apparent attempt to lure the large audience of celeb voyeurs that's currently interested in the cast members' bi-curious antics off-screen than on, the sultry young things-obsessed marketing crew at the CW has released some "inappropriate" images from the second season’s ad campaign. Thanks to Miley Cyrus and her “scandalous” series of endless flesh-baring spreads, any photos featuring tweenyboppers practically banging each other or doing their best O-face are fine by us. But releasing racy promos like these is a practice long used by GG’s predecessors, and the sleazy plan relying on that old promise that Sex Sells has a history of backfiring in many a series’ pretty little sweat-drenched faces:

First, a closer look at the "sexy" ads in question, which include pull-quotes suggesting just how much closer potential viewers will get to the cool kids' table. Watching this show is so dangerous! Your parents will have nightmares just thinking about the (sort of) short skirts Blair wears! Do the nasty!

Sadly, progressively heightening a show's sex appeal with ever-so-slightly hotter ads might not be the wisest move. After Buffy got the shove-off to the vintage UPN, Sarah Michelle Gellar was photographed posing in that trademark Cosmo cover stance, suggestively, maybe, possibly, on the verge of masturbation. One season later, and the series' ashes lived on in that icky spin-off Angel. As for Beverly Hills: 90210, the standard smiley group shot used in promos rarely veered far off course. But once Season 10 wheezed its final pointless breath, Donna and her new boobs sat front and center, Kelly was forced to be groped by New Brandon Replacement #47, and Steve Sanders was permitted to play "sexy" while raising a risqué, black denim-clad leg around New Brenda Replacement #287. And the poor OC decided that turning Marissa into a lesbian wasn't quite sordid enough, so the previously wholesome ads ended, along with the series, with uber-tanned Mischa pushing whatever boobage she had together in the sand, while Ryan appeared ready to give her the old in-and-out from behind (Chino-style!).

Oops. After the sight of Rachel and Monica ~~passionately making out~~ giving each other a friendly peck failed to increase ratings for Dirt, some genius thought the image of Courteney Cox covered in actual dirt (get it?!) would do the trick. But rather than getting new viewers all hot and bothered, everyone just felt, well, dirty (get it?! Sigh.) Finally, the recently canceled L Word used a rather obvious promotional image by shoving all the chic lipstick lesbians together in one big ol' nude orgy party. The problem with this image? See the previous sentence (specifically, the "canceled" part).

OMG! CHECK OUT THE SEXY NEW 'GOSSIP GIRL' ADS! [People]

Newest Power Lesbian Couple In Town Give Lindsay And Sam A Run For Their Hickey

Molly Friedman — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:40:00 EDT

It’s become clear that the one of the biggest trends of 2008 thus far is the emergence of lesbian chic. Girls can marry girls, starlets can publicly make out with their female roommates, and even though The L Word was canceled, its real-life L Word stars can still get it on with other lesbian cable stars. The two scissor-kick sisters in question? Well, one of our favorite indie actresses, Catherine Keener, has a little sister named Elizabeth, who starred in the Showtime series as Dawn Denbo. And while she's never publicly ‘fessed up to preferring ladies, those rumors have been an elephant in the collective lesbian community room for years. As for Keener's alleged makeout partner this past weekend, she's quite the opposite: she's loud and proud about being out. Details on Keener’s game of tongue twister over the weekend, and who she played with, after the jump.

As Janet Charlton reports, Gay Pride weekend had such a buoying effect on Keener that the actress stepped out in public not one, not two, but three times with rumored new lady love Jackie Warner of Bravo's Work Out. According to sources, they were seen "passionately making out" on a sidewalk and held hands in two different clubs. Now don't get us wrong — we've spent many a Sunday eyes glued to the television during a marathon as Jackie and her impossibly gorgeous minions sweat their way from beach to hot tub to gym in their skivvies. But every time the "power lesbian" gets just the teensiest bit upset with one of her trainer slaves, she seems capable of crushing their beautiful heads to a pulp using a simple inner-thigh squeeze. Which, now that we think about it, may be a prime reason that this relationship appears to be blossoming.

[Photo credits: Getty]

JACKIE WARNER AND 'THE L WORD''S ELIZABETH KEENER HOT FOR EACH OTHER [Janet Charlton]

Her Rwandan mission of peace still in a holding...

Seth — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:15:19 EST

Her Rwandan mission of peace still in a holding pattern, reformed God-locator Paris Hilton has been biding her time lately with an appearance at The L Word premiere party. Sporting the dykiest brunette bob wig she could get her hands on at such short notice, she reportedly cozied up all night with star Katherine Moennig, the two downing shots and popping up later at a Hollywood restaurant "holding hands." It was a daring display that some rubyfruit mafia watchers are calling the boldest fake-lesbian-dabbling in pursuit of a part that they've seen in quite some time. [Planet Gossip]

Marlee Matlin: Gay For Pay

Seth — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 15:31:47 EDT

No, not even a show about the escapades of a group of oversexed LA lesbians and starring Jennifer Beals could convince us to pay the Showtime subscription fee, though we must admit they have just sweetened the deal with the addition of Marlee Matlin to the cast. According to the AP, Matlin's character is "a fiery artist who catches the attention of Jennifer Beals' character." We're pretty sure "fiery" in this instance is family-friendly newspaper code for "insatiable woman-on-woman-loving slutbag," though the coyly reported story makes no guarantees Matlin will submit to the onetime Flashdancing welder's allure. USA Today's caption on the accompanying photo further confuses things, claiming Matlin is "Jessica Biel's new love interest,"* which we'll dismiss as the unfortunate byproduct of a horny photo editor allowing his deskbound fantasies to bleed into his professional life.

*As a commenter pointed out, the caption also calls the series an "HBO show," demonstrating how not even the trusted voices of America's Newspaper are immune to the brain-dissolving effects of hot premium cable all-girl action.

Marlee Matlin joining 'The L Word' [USA Today/AP]

'L Word' Fans Invited To Write Their Own Damn HLA

Seth — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 16:26:00 EST

The canny execs at Showtime have co-opted the popular trend among The Gays of "fan fiction" wherein viewers write fantasy episodes of TV shows in which the characters give in to their deepest, lustiest, same-sex inclinations (ex: The OC's Seth and Ryan doing the naked jacuzzi). In their official L Word version of fanfic, viewers are invited to submit scenes for a special "fanisode" (translation: it will be a frosty Friday in lesbian hell before this thing makes it to air), and since most of the show's characters are already bed-hopping sisters of Sappho, half the work's already done for them! The illustration above from the official site is not, as we initially thought, a visual representation of a woman's reproductive cycle, but instead a simplification of the contest's rules, with the multicolored figures in the center representing "L Word Fans" (yes, they all appear to be the men's room symbol, but lesbians don't wear skirts, sorry).

The L Word: A Fanisode [SHO.com via FishbowlLA]