Despite his sincere, how-bad-can-an-11-year-old-fuck-it-up endorsement of new Kid Jaden Smith last week at the Slamdance Film Festival, Macchio's boyish visage cracked, steamed and melted when contemplating Jackie Chan's inheritance of Mr. Miyagi. “I don’t know,” he told MTV News:

"The thing is whether Jackie Chan gives you Jackie Chan, or if Jackie Chan does a, you know, real stretch to the character.” he explained. [...] “I think Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith, with a good script, and all the moons in alignment? It could be another big fat hit.”

Poor Ralph. We'd presume that Sony is in fact counting on Chan's genre-slumming reliability to align these proverbial moons, but! Think of the moral leverage Macchio will have 25 years from now when Jaden Smith traverses his own Slamdance red carpet, second-guessing Mickey Rourke's next comeback as Knox Jolie-Pitt's sensei in another, wrestling-tinged franchise reboot.

• ‘Karate Kid’ Ralph Macchio Unsure About Jackie Chan as Mr. Miyagi [MTV]

· CBS's Nina Tassler told TCA she no apologies for her networks all-procedurals, all-the-time policy. About NBC's Jay Leno strip: "It's a coveted time period. The creative community was, quite frankly, shocked when they first heard about it. There's so much top-tier talent that vie for that time period every year." No offense, though, Jay. You're way up there. Fourth- or fifth-tier at least. [Variety]
· Jennifer Hudson will reemerge cautiously into the performing spotlight with a low-key, acoustic performance at a coffee house called the MOTHERFUCKING SUPER BOWL. She's singing the national anthem—we suggest you turn the volume down for "land of the free," lest the river of toxic plasma that pours out of your shattered flat-screen incinerate your nacho-munching guests. [Variety]
· CBS Films will produce its first feature, a medical drama pairing blockbuster adventurists Brendan Fraser and Harrison Ford. Fraser plays a father who turns to Ford to cure his children's rare genetic disorder. Unfortunately, the search for the cure doesn't involve shrinking themselves down to enter the kids' bloodstreams in a tiny innerspace vessel, battling 3-D ants along the way. [THR]
· Paramount will produce an adaptation of Daemon, a tech-thriller bestseller about what happens when PayPal runs amok and starts banging your wife and hanging out with your best friends. (We could be wrong about that—it's just what we gathered from staring at the cover art.) [THR]

Things like, y'know, karate, or a character who can plausibly bear the name of Mr. Miyagi. We've made our suggestions on the topic, but it looks like producers intend to go in a wildly different direction, according to Will Smith (whose son Jaden will be stepping into Ralph Maccio's bare feet). In fact, now that they've gotten budgetary incentives from China, there will have to be some important changes:

Interestingly, though the original movie was set in the United States, the new version will take place in China, and that means key characters will change with it. “We’re making it with the China Film Group, so it’ll be based in Beijing. Mr. Miyagi was originally Japanese, so there’ll be a Chinese adaptation to it.”

But wait, isn’t karate a Japanese martial art in the first place?

“Fortunately, karate is originally a Chinese art form, so that’s the area we’re playing around in.” (Ed. Note: Though karate was developed in Japan, it is based upon Kenpō, a Chinese fighting style.)

Will Mr. Miyagi now become Mr. Mao, and will he teach kenpo in Beijing instead of karate in the San Fernando Valley? Will "Sweep the leg!" become "Envision the white infidel Sharon Stone"? Sorry, Elisabeth Shue — looks like that phone call you placed to your agent may languish on the "to call" list forever.

• Will Smith’s Search For Mr. Miyagi Continues As ‘Karate Kid’ Remake Moves To China [MTV]

1. Nicolas Cage
We can think of no other actor more capable of tapping into both Miyagi's quiet dignity and flying-insect-assassinating ferocity than Cage—to say nothing of his intimate familiarity with Far East mysticism, having served for years as a pachinko pitchman on Japanese TV:

2. Dwayne Johnson
The professional wrestler turned movie star seems determined to prove to Hollywood he's more than a handsome action-lunk. What better challenge, then, than playing a 60-year-old, 5'5" Japanese WWII veteran and vintage auto enthusiast? If the physical transformation is convincing enough, perhaps there's even an Oscar nomination in the cards—as there was for Pat Morita.

3. Jackie Chan
The tender moments of surrogate father-son bonding captured by the original can only be enhanced by saucy half-pint Smith barking, "A CRANE KICK?! ARE YOU NUTS, MR. MIYAGE? I AIN'T DOIN' NO CRANE KICKS! MY KNEE IS SWOLLEN UP LIKE A CANTALOUPE!" as his sensei frantically responds something unintelligible back in comically broken Chenglish.

4. Jean-Claude Van Damme
Van Damme is overdue for a comeback—but while the Kaufmanesque and undeniably foreign JCVD may have won over the international critical community, it's not going to really satisfy the VD-craving masses. This is the part. This is the film. Bienvenue, vieil ami.

5. Samuel L. Jackson
Eleven words: "I want this motherfucking wax ON and OFF my motherfucking CAR."

• Jaden Smith set for 'Karate Kid' redo [Variety]