A report today in The Guardian points out what we suspected since seeing Hef's long-form commercial in August: The old man cashed in, not only on the use of his brand but also while playing himself as a bereft mogul caught up in the conspiracy that expelled Anna Faris's upbeat Shelly from Eden in the first place. For an undisclosed sum, Hef lent Playboy, the mansion, his girlfriends and his pajamaed self to the producers; in exchange, the studio got the verisimilitude of an authentic break-up inside the 82-year-old's plush redoubt.

At least they thought it would be authentic; that centerfold bargaining chip probably won't be enough to entice Holly Madison back to his bed. But hey, close enough. Memo to studios: For a better bang for your buck, next time consult Defamer first. In terms of drama, brand and cheap nudity, trust us — we can swim grotto laps around Playboy.

• The Curious Case of 'The House Bunny'... [The Guardian]

1. Burn After Reading — $19.4 million

The Coen brothers' admirable, totally nonsensical spy farce rode its all-star ensemble like a rented mule, albeit sort of a haunting mutation of mule — one with frosted tips, a hoof-full of Oscars and an unusually foul mouth that nevertheless enticed enough curious viewers to make Burn the biggest opening of the Coens' career. And it's almost enough to settle Focus Features' therapy bill incurred after Hamlet 2.

2. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys — $18 million

Add another fun fact to Defamer's Tyler Perry Encyclopedia: Five of his six films have now opened among their respective weekends' top two grossers. On roughly two-thirds as many screens as this week's No. 1. With virtually no white people in the audience. Be impressed.

3. Righteous Kill — $16.5 million

And it would have been even more had Robert De Niro and Al Pacino not already fulfilled most Americans' demand to see them sleepwalk through scenes together.

4. The Women — $10 million

Critics be damned — Picturehouse was determined to make this work if it was the last thing it ever did. And, alas, it was.

5. The House Bunny — $4.3 million

The Cult of Anna Faris kept her in the Top 5 with barely a 20% drop from last week. Seriously: If Tyler Perry had an adventurous bone in his body he'd write her into a Madea film and let the Brinks truck do the rest.

1. Tropic Thunder — $14.2 million

Against not-so-formidable competition, Ben Stiller's little $90 million-comedy-that-could persisted in first place for the third consecutive week. Fun fact: Thunder became only the sixth R-rated film in history to achieve such longevity, joining the seminal likes of The Whole Nine Yards, American Pie 2 and The Passion of the Christ. And a fourth win isn't out of the question this weekend if America stands up to the horror of Nicolas Cage's latest, Bangkok Dangerous. Why doesn't the Special Olympics lobby protest that degradation? Another discussion, another time.

2. Babylon A.D. — $12 million

While our generally impeccable box-office projections last Friday seem to have misapprehended Vin Diesel's lagging appeal, let's be honest: As butchered, disavowed and dumped-on-the-roadside B-pictures go, Babylon's $12 million take is in no way a reflection of the actor's animated-elephant-epic potential (or lack thereof). We're just saying.

3. The Dark Knight — $11.3 million

Three words: Fuck you, Japan. Bonus: The film's cumulative gross tipped $500 million (along with Titanic, the only film to break the barrier domestically); Warners is reportedly using at least half of the money to launch Speed Racer back to its home country in return via the internally developed Batapult™.

4. The House Bunny — $10.7 million

Discuss: Between the success of this film, its medium-budget sibling Step Brothers and its lowbrow, high-yield cousin Pineapple Express, Sony Pictures' comedy trifecta is the most underreported story of the summer.

5. Traitor — $10 million

Our underdog, all grown up. We're so proud!

Ms. Smith is curly-haired and petite and wore a festive black-and-white print dress to lunch; Ms. McCullah Lutz, in a form-fitting turquoise dress, suggested a blonde Valkyrie. Ms. McCullah Lutz seemed more serious, Ms. Smith more bubbly. But they said the key to their personalities is in their dogs: Ms. McCullah Lutz owns a Maltese; Ms. Smith, pit bulls. ...

Their M.O. consists of writing beside Ms. McCullah Lutz’s pool (both live in neighborhoods on the funkier east side of Hollywood) and presenting a united front to those studio executives who would tamper with their work. But sometimes, they conceded, the questions can lead somewhere. When Disney asked for additional motivation for the comedian Larry Miller’s overprotective, pregnancy-obsessed father in 10 Things, they made him a gynecologist. Other times, they said, studio participation can be perplexing. ...

Ms. McCullah Lutz, referring to Ella Enchanted: “Miramax is the only studio that’s ever told us to add” a flatulence joke.

Ms. Smith: “Which I was very excited about.”

Keep in mind, of course, that this was Miramax circa 2004 — an extraordinary stroke of luck for the forthcoming pilot, in which a lumbering studio mogul named Marty Feinstein summons the women to his office on the Disney lot for a hi-larious exchange "clearing the air about clearing the air." Indeed, we smell Emmy.

• Women (Real and Fictional) Defying Expectations

1. Tropic Thunder - $16.1 million
In a weekend that saw some colossal summer comedy flops—more on that later—it must have come as happy news to the producers of Tropic Thunder that it retained its top spot at the box office two weeks in a row. That brings this big-budget paean to tropical scenery-chewing and wartime hammery to a not-too-shabby $65.7 million. “We definitely felt internally we were going to be No. 1, but Saturday was a pleasant surprise,” said DreamWorks/Paramount rep Chip Sullivan as he emerged from the executive bathroom with a look of triumphant accomplishment spread across his face.

2. The House Bunny - $15.1 million
Following not too far behind was The House Bunny, the Anna Faris Pi Bimbo Phi campus comedy that has officially inherited the title of America's #1 Gay Date movie from previous title-holders Sex and the City and Stop-Loss. A perfect brand-integration opportunity was completely squandered, however, as Bunny-approved Tuscan dining chain The Olive Garden was passed over as the location of Faris's post-hazing induction celebration, in favor of the far inferior Applebee's, home of the Riblet™.

3. Death Race - $12.293 million
Written and directed by videogame-adaptation shlockmeister Paul W.S. Anderson, the thinking-man's Uwe Boll, Race failed to really find the all-wheel traction at the box office production company Cruise/Wagner had hoped for. It did provide an apt visual metaphor for the disintegration of Tom and Paula's creative partnership, however, with the two until only recently chasing each other around the United Artists offices in suped-up muscle cars with hood-mounted Gatlings.

4. The Dark Knight - $10.305 million
We can't be the only ones shocked to learn Barack Obama passed on making The Dark Knight his running mate, in favor of Sen. Joe Biden. Sure, Biden might have the experience, but The Dark Knight looks way better in IMAX, and could have easily carried Ohio.

5. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - $5.66 million
We'll admit it: We're completely obsessed with the Abercrombie & Fitch-style (minus crotch-obscuring overpriced board shorts or any pretense that this is about anything besides eroticizing young male flesh) NSFW photography of head Lucasarts licensing exec Howard Roffman. We'll skip this one, but promise to pay full price to check out The Clone Wars 2: Naked Stormtroopers, shot in tasteful black-and-white.

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE August 22–24, 2008 [boxofficemojo]

WHAT'S NEW: Or perhaps, rather, "What isn't new?" Moreover, it's a fascinating week of studio test drives for stars of varying magnitudes, with Jason Statham vs. Anna Faris vs. Rainn Wilson vs. Steve Coogan vs. Ice Cube and all of them forced to open against a Tropic Thunder crew looking for payback after last week's disappointing take. It's not an even playing field, but Universal's updating of Death Race 2000 — now known simply as Death Race, for action fans afraid of big numbers — has the best advantage with Statham's bankable, monosyllabic heroism set for a $17.5 million take.

We're pulling for Faris, meanwhile, as sharp and enduring (and continually underrated) a comic talent as anyone churned out of the Apatow stable, yet whose The House Bunny may not have the legs it needs to hop over The Dark Knight and into third place. The hell with it — we're calling for $11 million, which should narrowly surmount Batman by about $750,000. The Weinstein touch will do pretty much what you expect for Ice Cube's PG-rated (and Fred Durst-directed) The Longshots, nudging it only slightly over $6 million. Coogan's mixed-reviewed Hamlet 2 — which Focus bought this year at Sundance for $11 million — won't break the Top 10 in limited release.

Also opening: The Tori Spelling-starring Lovecraft adaptation Cthulu; the revealing (if slightly precious) documentary Anita O'Day: The Life of a Jazz Singer; and the wasted Germs/Darby Crash biopic What We Do is Secret, hands down the most dreadfully misconceived LA rock film since The Doors.

THE BIG LOSER: It's not like we're not pulling for Rainn Wilson in The Rocker or anything, but seeing Fox set him up as the next Jack Black in his first real leading role — a flabby, flamboyant man-child drummer who reclaims his dream of rock stardom by joining his nephew's band — only to have him crash with maybe $5.5 million tops? It's almost enough to make us wish for his return to those not-too-long ago Bob Shaye glory days. Or at least a new season of that sitcom in which he seems to excel.

THE UNDERDOG: Alex Holdridge may never get the credit he deserves (or thinks he deserves) for Superbad, but he'll always have In Search of a Midnight Kiss, a lovely, funny and strikingly elegant paean to love lost and found in Los Angeles. Wilson (Scoot McNairy) is a slack, self-described misanthrope seeking the same on Craigslist for a date on New Year's Eve. He winds up meeting Vivian, a conveniently cute blond played with relentless, freak-show ferocity by Sara Simmonds. Their eight-hour anti-courtship through a black-and-white city may seem familiar at first, but its chief references (Manhattan, Before Sunset) only reinforce how markedly Holdridge veers away from them over 100 minutes. In fact, his simultaneous embrace and rejection of the genre borrows most from his stars' chemistry — a sprawling cosmopolis of lust and apprehension in its own right. And did we mention it's funny? Take a date, or don't. Just see it.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD releases include HBO's 2000 election reimagining Recount, the Jonas Brothers' opus Camp Rock ("Extended Rock Star Edition"!), the Keanu Reeves disaster Street Kings, the "Election Year" edition of Oliver Stone's Nixon and, at last, Gossip Girl: The Complete First Season.

So is it Team Statham or Team Faris? Or is it just the time of year you flip a coin and/or let the box-office attendant decide your movie for you at random? We feel like we need selection brackets, ourselves; help guide our (and your fellow readers') ways below.

For instance, this week's episode begins with the girls gathering together for an impromptu table read of the script for House Bunny, the soon-to-be-released Anna Faris vehicle. After pouring through the script, not only do they find out that their appearance is limited to a single page (Page 78, if you must know), but they also bemoan the fact that they've been reduced to bantering about such silly topics as whipped cream drenched pillow fights. Don't worry, ladies; when Brett Ratner finally decides to get onboard with the project he was born to direct, there'll be plenty of time to sleep your way into a role playing someone other than yourself (so long as it's still a Bunny).

• The Girls Next Door [E!]