AMC got all classy with critical and Emmy favorites Mad Men and Breaking Bad and then they went and ruined it all bypaying a whole lot of cash for a show about undead stumbling brain eaters. They acquired the rights to Robert Kirkman's comic book The Walking Dead which follows the lives of the survivors of a zombie apocalypse. Sounds to us like 28 Days or every other zombie movie. But, since it's on AMC, it's going to be a smart zombie show. [THRfeed]

Natalie Portman designs vegan shoes and went to Harvard. She's so hip and so smart. Fox thinks so to, and now she's producing a comedy called Booksmart about two smart girls who can't find boyfriends. Oh, they never can. [Variety]

Danish toymaker Lego has finally allowed someone to make a movie about their plastic boxes and barely bending men. Warner Bros. is developing a hush-hush, live action/animation flick from writers Dan and Kevin Hageman. Well, the performances from the plastic playthings can't be any worse than a heavily-botoxed actress. Variety]

MTV orders up two Jackass ripoffs, a Hills rip off (set in New York, watch out!), a variety show, and Hard Times their first single-camera comedy. It's about a kid who is trying to survive being 15. Hey, maybe he can go out with one of Natalie Portman's girls. [THR]

Ed Helms is on a hot streak. He just inked his second deal since The Hangover made all that money. His next pic (after Cedar Rapids) is a comedy called Central Intelligence where he plays an accountant who becomes a spy after finding an old friend on Facebook. Damn, all we ever find are the annoying girls who sat next to us in French class. [Variety]

The top shows last night were America's Got Talent, Hell's Kitchen, and Big Brother. Wait. You mean Americans like reality shows? [Variety]

The Emmys give up on the idea of presenting the writing and editing categories early so that they can speed up their telecast. Your local news is pissed. [THR]

We knew it at the time, attributing a "weirdly riveting" quality to Groban's performance as we liveblogged. Nearing the end of the day after, we're still pretty much alone in our estimation. But that doesn't mean we're wrong. Anything but, in fact.

Let's face it: The failure of this year's Emmys was systemic, not individual. Even Don Rickles (!), arguably the funniest presenter of the evening, faced a down crowd still nursing its shellshock from the opening bit. On both sides of the proscenium, too few of the components required to make the show move had any impulse or incentive to do so. The Nokia was a tank of vulnerable, cynical sharks — most too gutless (e.g. all five hosts) to rock the institutional boat on its surface while too bloodthirsty (e.g. Jeremy Piven, Neil Patrick Harris) to swim away without reminding the Academy that it got away with its life. And the Academy, adrift, responded simply by rowing faster — in circles. On the night when good TV was the coin of the realm, bad TV was the gold standard. What are you going to do?

That's not likely the kind of rhetorical question Josh Groban asked himself before he went onstage, but it's the one he answered throughout the number. What are you going to do, really, when the ineptitude of the Emmys is such that you can't possibly surmount its ingrained, enduring awfulness? And the producers are cutting set changes, acceptance speeches... everything but your performance? While the world around him — including the very concept of the number — melted down, Groban, for whatever reason, and for better or worse, went for it.

And as far as we could tell, he pulled it off. Say what you will about his talent, his popularity, his banality, his backstory, whatever, but the guy isn't stupid. He knew the position he was in, he knew the job he had to do, and unlike the hosts, writers and producers who pumped (and tape-delayed!) three hours' worth of bullshit into America's beloved televisions, he did his job. And he pretty much meant it — every outlandish segue into a condescending gospel choir or Muppet guest appearance seemed to nudge his energy incrementally higher. It was genuinely stirring, as in: We might not have finished our liveblog without it.

Moreover, take his riff on South Park —absurd to the extent it was sincere, momentarily elevating his medley to the level of performance art. It returned with the Animal/X-Files cameo and the COPS bit, and when he closed out with Carol Burnett and Cheers, he was among the two or three others onstage all night who could hold his head up opposite Rickles. Was he great? Probably not. Was he essential? Without a doubt.

There's the philosophy that says the harder you try, the stupider you look, and we're not wholly averse to it. But it applies to Groban's Emmy haters, too. Lighten up a bit. If he could do it under the circumstances, God knows we can, too.

· Early reports indicate the Emmys suffered their worst ratings ever: Roughly 12.2 million viewers tuned in, a 7% percent drop from 2007 and about 100,000 fewer than the previous low in 1990. Explanations range from primetime NFL competition to the Kimmel lead-in getting blown out by 60 Minutes, but let's be honest: If Katherine Heigl wasn't coming, why would America?

· No one was more disappointed than beat writers at the Nokia Theater, who waited in vain for winners who never arrived. The culprit: The long elevator detour to the press room, as opposed to last year's nearby tent at the Shrine. But, reports Variety: "There's no question that the buffet laid out for the hungry scribes was far better than any Emmy nosh in years."

· As such, the Academy's generosity paid off in karmically complimentary reviews like USA Today's:

The lesson ABC's Sunday slog seemed to be striving to impart is that the Emmys are a joke — and a bad one at that. From Josh Groban's musical montage to that monumentally terrible, time-wasting quintet — Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst and, in particular, a dithering Howie Mandel — the show seemed designed to convince us that we shouldn't be watching. Not just the Emmys, mind you, but television itself.

· Dry cleaners around town were inundated this morning, taking in hundreds of soiled tuxedos belonging to broadcast brass terrified over cable's incursion into their big night. The name "Bryan Cranston" is the new Brown Note.

· Remember that bomb scare to which Eva Longoria alluded in her interview with Ryan Seacrest? False alarm! It was a BB gun in some attendee's trunk, forcing everyone to get out and walk when their limos couldn't approach the red carpet.

· Making matters worse, non-celebrities attempted to use the celebrity metal detector. This from the director of John Adams, who couldn't even outmatch Jay Roach in his own category. Pot, meet kettle.

[Photo: Getty Images]

10:56 We've never been happier to see Tom Selleck; he's presenting Outstanding Drama to... MAD MEN. Our thoughts exactly! Not a bad way to go out, and not a minute too soon — we're Emmyed out, we think. Thanks for joining us — where's the bar?

10:54 Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White present 30 ROCK with the Outstanding Comedy Emmy.

10:45 Kimmel cuts to commercial before revealing the Best Reality Host award-winner. Clever! We'll take advantage of it: The Yankees are up 5-3 in the sixth inning of the final game at Yankee Stadium. And ... they're back, and the world seems a little lesser place knowing JEFF PROBST is an Emmy winner.

10:37 Look what Rickles hath wrought: Now Kiefer's not even allowed to walk to the podium out of a commercial break; he just materializes Kieferishly to present Best Actor in a drama... who is... BRYAN CRANSTON for Breaking Bad? What? We'll have to come back to this; Craig Ferguson and Brooke Shields are sprinting on to present Best Actress in a comedy... who is... TINA FEY for 30 Rock. Bryan Cranston. Huh.

10:32 This In Memoriam montage is kind of bracing. Charlton Heston, Isaac Hayes, Sydney Pollack... and George Carlin apparently died twice.

10:26 Candice Bergen hands off Best actor in a comedy to ALEC BALDWIN for 30 Rock. Gahhhh! We can't keep up! America Ferrara and Vanessa Williams come out to present Best Actress in a drama... who is... GLENN CLOSE for Damages.

10:23 Glenn Close is just so... classy. She should be hosting! Anyway, she presents Best Actor in a movie or miniseries... who is... PAUL GIAMATTI for John Adams.

10:15 Greg Yaitanes just won an Emmy for directing House. House has directors? Who knew? And Matt Weiner won the dramatic writing prize for Mad Man. Naturally.

10:09 Don Rickles encore! He wins best performance in a variety/music show, telling most of the same jokes he told in Mr. Warmth — the documentary/concert film he just won for. And the circle is complete.

10:01 John Adams wins Best Miniseries. Producer Tom Hanks gets to show off his Da Vinci sequel coiffure; it's good to see the Vatican hasn't gotten him yet.

9:59 Kathy Griffin joins Don Rickles to present, standing ovation ensues. Rickles is killing: "Let's read these funny lines they wrote for us! ... Hey folks, this crap got me no place, I'll tell you that right now." The show resumes, with The Amazing Race nabbing Best Reality Competition. Rickles cuts the producer off and drags him offstage. Sigh. More like this, please.

9:50 We need an intermission! Can we interest anybody in any air sex?

9:45 "This dried up prune has the experience we need!" Even Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are on fumes presenting Best Director for a miniseries or movie... who is... JAY ROACH for Recount. He thanks his wife, ex-Bangle Susanna Hoffs, which promptly gets him thrown off stage. Best writing, meanwhile, goes to John Adams.

9:42 The Emmys has now regressed to CSI's changing of the guard: Laurence Fishburne picks up the keys from Bill Petersen while presenting Supporting Actor for miniseries or movie... who is... for Recount.

9:35 Christian Slater and Christina Applegate present Best Made for TV movie... which is... Recount.

9:31 That whole Piven host-bashing acceptance speech an hour ago got worse backstage, we hear: ""I thought we were being punk'd. [...] I was confused. [In the room] it was like in The Producers when they do Springtime for Hitler. There's a, 'What was actually happening right now?' There was a great line about Sarah Palin that landed. But it was confusing. From Lucille Ball on, television has been so entertaining. And this was a celebration of nothingness so it was confusing."

9:21 Lauren Conrad is presenting an Emmy. With David Boreanaz. On the bright side (as if it gets darker) TINA FEY comes out of it with the Outstanding Comedy Writing award for 30 Rock.

9:15 The most brutal part of this Laugh-In number is that it may very well have imploded its legacy among any viewers who hadn't seen it before. It's appallingly unfunny and beyond depressing. The whole thing leads into the Outstanding Comedy or Variety show... which is... THE DAILY SHOW. Suck it, Colbert.

9:07 Alec Baldwin fails to plug his book while presenting Lead Actress in a miniseries or movie... who is... LAURA LINNEY for John Adams.

9:03 After a start that had us tying a noose, we admit that Josh Groban's opening-theme lightning round is kind of weirdly riveting. He had us at South Park.

8:52 Giving Tommy Smothers a 40-years belated Emmy for writing on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, Steve Martin drops "perspicacious, multifarious and placatory" and about 90 percent of the viewing audience in a 10-second burst. Smothers himself loses the rest. But we're back now!

8:48 Jennifer Love-Hewitt and Hayden Panitierre present Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Program to... THE COLBERT REPORT. Shocker! Jon Stewart gets thanked but looks like he's caught on camera reaching for his flask.

8:43 Conan O'Brien: "I would have had better stuff tonight but Katherine Heigl wrote my material." Zing! Then he presents Supporting Actress in a drama ... who is... DIANNE WEIST.

8:36 Ricky Gervais busts Steve Carell's balls in the best bit of the night. Careful, Ricky — Ryan says they're enlarged! And for what it's worth, Louis Horivtz — yes, the Louis Horvitz — won the variety-show directing prize for this year's Oscars.

8:33 Wait — Jackée Harry won an Emmy? These montages are great.

8:26 The ladies of Desperate Housewives present Supporting Actor in a drama ... who is... ZELJKO IVANEK. We missed it, but more importantly: Did Eva Longoria know she'd only get literally six words in? She's a team player after all!

8:18 Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who is wearing a dress made of salmon scales, presents Supporting Actress in a comedy ... who is... JEAN SMART. 2 for 2.

8:11 Tina Fey and Amy Poehler present Supporting Actor in a comedy... who is... JEREMY PIVEN. Naturally he takes his bombed joke out on the hosts: "Thanks to the 11 of you who laughed. What If I just talked for 12 minutes. That would be the opening!" Really, Pivs, you can go the Heigl route any time now. PS: Defamer Emmy predictions are 1 for 1.

8:05 Jeff Probst: "We have absolutely nothing for you." And really, they don't. So who do they turn to? Who else: Bill Shatner. And we guarantee that was the first and last time he'll ever tear off a supermodel's clothes.

8:00 Are we the only ones who don't get the opening monta— OMGZ OPRAH!!

7:53 Aw! Christina Applegate is on hand, looking great and sounding great. That is all.

7:43 Kimmel's ABC special has an OK faux-interview with Salma Hayek, but the real action is back at the Twilight Zone of E!, where Giuliana Rancic points out that Bryan Cranston is the only actor to play both a crystal meth dealer and Frankie Muniz's father.

7:28 Lackluster as Tina Fey's Seacrest interlude was earlier, she's still got a highlight from the E! broadcast. Remember the timeshare Martin Scorsese pushed on her in that American Express spot a while back? Finally, the details!

7:19 Jeremy Piven finally showed up — no date(s) apparently, his Mom is "over it." Aren't. We. All.

7:15 Now here's some news: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were held up in a bomb scare. Ever the professional, Seacrest segues effortlessly into Housewives' five-year plot jump. Did we mention this award is his to lose?

7:05 "We're joined by the cast of Entourage..." But where is the Piv? Picking up his date(s)? Developing...

6:51 Breaking! Britney Spears wanted to come back to How I Met Your Mother when Sarah Chalke's storyline was reintroduced. Not so fast, alas — the producers will have to get back to her about that.

6:47 Are Seacrest and Steve Carell bonding over enlarged balls? They are! Is it 8 yet?

6:43 More breaking development news! Marcia Cross confirms there will be no Melrose Place revival.

6:39 How the other half lives: On TV Guide Channel, Lisa Rinna has back-to-back interviews with Tony Shalhoub and Zeljko Ivanek intercut with arrivals footage of... Phylicia Rashad.

6:32 That Tracy Morgan interview was the most boring 90 seconds of his career.

6:22 Jenna Fischer looks great, and now she's saying there's no Office spin-off at all — i.e. "cannibalizing the granddady," as Seacrest says. Not that, either, Fischer says.

6:14 Emmy ParentWatch continues! Seacrest shoves aside a weak Kathy Griffin for Rainn Wilson, who brings up his own old man for a chat. After the troubling disclosure about some Wilson/Jason Reitman reunion called Bonzai Shadowhands ("I play a drunk, down-and-out ninja"), a more scintillating update reveals they're holding off a year for the Office spin-off. And three weddings this year. Huh.

6:07 Because the world needs another Sandra Oh interview like it needs another Fey/Palin comparison, Seacrest brought her parents in for the Q&A — Mr. and Mrs. Oh from Ottawa. Fun fact: Her mother is a scientist!

6:00 OMG!!!! Finally — Seacrest, Klum, Bergeron, Mandel, and Probst, all together at once on E! This truly is the impossible dream, and Probst is going tie-less. Slob. Kiss the Best Reality TV Host prize goodbye.

The Academy has the full, looong slate of nominees, naturally, but we've narrowed our interests down to 10 easy storylines for our own Emmy dramedy — conveniently outlined after the jump!

1. Mad Men joined Damages as the first basic-cable programs to earn a nomination for best dramatic series. Its 15 other nods led the pack among all nominated dramas, while 30 Rock led all shows with 17 noms.

2. For the last time (literally), the Academy has snubbed The Wire for a dramatic series nomination. Critics at the TCA press tour will be symbolically immolating themselves by lunchtime.

3. In other snubs, FX is wondering this morning who it has to blow to get Denis Leary, Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver back on the list after nominations in 2007. Hint: It might be a bribe-friendly exec at AMC, which scored a kind-of-stunning two dramatic actor nods this year.

4. Silverman, Emmy Darling (Part 1): "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" was nominated for Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics. Silverman's competition is Flight of the Conchords and MADtv. As such, it bears saying aloud: " 'I'm Fucking Matt Damon' is going to win an Emmy."

5. Sarah Silverman, Emmy Darling (Part 2): Denied an actress nod for her own show, she earned a guest actress nomination for her turn as Marci Maven on Monk.

6. Amy Poehler's supporting-actress nod for Saturday Night Live is the first for an SNL actress since Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin were each nominated in 1978. Radner won.

7. There's apparently a formula for earning a few dozen Emmy noms: Just make a loooong historical epic like HBO's John Adams, which pulled in 23 mentions including outstanding miniseries — as Variety notes, the third consecutive year a period miniseries has drawn the year's biggest haul. Awards-bait film stars like Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney — both nominated as well — can't hurt either.

8. Come to think of it, film actresses on cable dominated dramatic categories in general, with four Oscar winners (including Susan Sarandon and Holly Hunter) and three Oscar nominees (Linney, Catherine Keener and Glenn Close) among the ten performers recognized. We presume Sally Field got Katherine Heigl's spot.

9. Speaking of whom, we're guessing ABC had higher hopes for Grey's Anatomy than two supporting-actress nominations and "Outstanding Prosthetic Makeup For A Series, Miniseries, Movie Or A Special."

10. If we must split up the reality and reality-competition categories, surely the Academy can find a way to further separate things like A&E's grueling Intervention from trifles like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Really.

• The 60th Annual Emmy Award Nominations [Academy of TV Arts & Sciences]