Is it simply that studios are too terrified to give a woman first billing over a male star, lest people then think the film to be a chick flick? After all, Vaughn's last hit was The Break-Up, the rare romantic comedy with strong male appeal, something that marketing folks might have felt was in jeopardy had costar Jennifer Aniston been first-billed. Four Christmases isn't a romcom but a flat-out comedy, but would it be perceived as the former if Vaughn was subservient to Witherspoon in the billing block?

Yes, when compared to Witherspoon, the presence of Vaughn in this film makes us more likely to see it (though still? not very likely), simply because the actor has a track record of enlivening even the most formulaic films with his improvised comic riffs. Still, we wonder just how B- and C-list you'd have to go to find a male costar whom the studio would allow Witherspoon to supplant. In an alternate Four Christmases, could the actress vault over Colin Farrell to claim first billing? Or will she have to settle for a part opposite Freddie Prinze Jr. to claim what, by rights, should be hers?

While the disastrous, completely unforeseen dissolution of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's soul-mate-level bond almost certainly dooms the upcoming DVD release of The Break-Up to instant, bargain-bin obscurity, some publicists insist on seeing the glass that Aniston undoubtedly hurtled at her former partner's head during their heart-wrenching split as half full. This pitch, which bravely ignores the impossible task handed to them by the campaign-crushing appearance of real-life interpersonal strife, landed in our inbox this morning:

Just in time for the real life break up of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston, we have put together a couple's kitchen helper kits in support of The Break-Up. These kits feature 2 his and hers aprons (one pink and one blue quoting the famous line I want you to WANT to do the dishes, the gloves and 12 stress ball lemons. We could not have received these at a better time and we are sure your site could use these sets in one way or another.

Those poor, poor publicists. They just don't realize that no matter how tightly they squeeze those promotional foam lemons, they'll never be able to extract any lemonade.

• Previously: Selfish Aniston And Vaughn Split, Showing Little Consideration For Upcoming DVD Release Of Their Break-Up-Themed Movie [Defamer]

Just when we thought we were finally ready to choose between the cutely conflated Vaughniston and Vaughnnifer nicknames that never really seemed to adequately represent the fusing of their public personas, Us Weekly is reporting that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, the on-screen/off-screen tabloid darlings who found suspicious, conveniently timed love on the set of The Break-Up, have called it quits. Upon hearing the news (which, like their recent engagement rumors, is still subject to a vigorous publicist denial), we were nearly too incapacitated with sadness to look up The Break-Up's DVD release date, but after we were through shattering every reflective surface in our home and the five-minute seizure resulting from the contemplation of this latest blow to the notion of romantic love subsided, we determined that it's due out on October 17th. We sincerely hope that the unwelcome publicity that is sure to surround the dissolution of their union doesn't harm the financial prospects of the movie, which regardless of its sell-through rate, will remain a beautiful cinematic testament to a relationship that burned too brightly.

• Us Exclusive: Jen and Vince Split [Us Weekly]
• Previously: Vaughn And Aniston Really Committed To Making This Thing Look Real [Defamer]

2. Be nice to your costars. "I acted in an after-school special which was a cautionary tale about the use of steroids. I was paired opposite a good-looking, skinny Midwestern kid who ended up becoming a good friend..." [...]

5. Help make a successful Hollywood movie starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. "That handsome, skinny Midwestern kid was Vince Vaughn. We became good friends and after a successful collaboration on 'Made' we came together again to produce 'The Break-Up.'

This illustrates nicely how every Hollywood project and relationship, no matter how inauspicious they might seem at the time, can lead to greater things. Had Billingsley not launched into that after-school role special with such abandon—and particularly the locker room scene in which he tearily used every ounce of his own strength to prevent a 'roid-raging Vaughn from injecting a giant syringe full of growth hormone into his own ass—his co-star may never have seen the extent of his potential and proposed their creative partnership.

UPDATE: A reader sets us right on just who held the syringe in that After School Special. It's after the jump.

A reader writes:

It was Billingsley, strangely enough, who played the roid rager in that after school special. I know. It makes no sense. Vaughn was, like, seven feet tall at the time and Ralphie was still Ralphie ... But on roids ... And shouting at a frightened Vaughn. I know ... Crazy. But worth watching just for that scene.

• How to Transition from Child Star to Movie Producer [LAT]

1. The Break-Up—$38.1 million
On Friday, a Universal distribution executive seemed to hint that there was no such thing as a "Jennifer Aniston movie fan," as the studio was banking on "Vince Vaughn fans as well as the romantic comedy audience" to turn out for the opening weekend. Today, however, the existence of the Bigfoot-like group has been proven, as we doubt that the Vaughn/Rom-co ticket-buying block could have been responsible for the entire $38.1 million gross; we estimate that Anistonites must have chipped in at least $4-5 million of the take, camping out in packs of four to six people at multiplexes around the country, demonstrating their commitment to the star by wearing festive, rainbow-colored wigs representing the iconic "Rachel" hairstyle.

2. X-Men: The Last Stand—$34.35 million
Brett Ratner, the onetime King of Hollywood, has been unceremoniously dethroned by Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, but at least Ratner gained yet another record to hold over idol/inferior Steven Spielberg's head: the biggest post-Memorial Day weekend drop-off in history (67 percent). Let's see if he can still get a table at Hunan Cafe without a reservation once the proprietress hears about his ugly tumble from glory.

3. Over the Hedge—$20.6 million
Over the Hedge star Bruce Willis' Voice continues to enjoy the fruits of the movie's box office run, as Page Six will report tomorrow that it's engaged in a torrid, if age-inappropriate, phone-sex affair with Lindsay Lohan.

4. The Da Vinci Code—$19.3 million
Pleased that offending Catholics yielded some impressive worldwide grosses, Sony plans on a more inclusive approach for sequel Angels & Demons, hoping that a touch of Muslim-baiting will bring not only a fatwa against planned director Ron Howard, but a flood of moviegoers anxious to see what all the fuss is about.

5. Mission:Impossible III—$4.67 million
As a morale-boosting measure, Paramount emperor Brad Grey has installed a ticker above the lot's commissary that counts in real time how much more money M:i:III has made than Poseidon.

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE June 2–4, 2006 [Box Office Mojo]

• The Break-Up [Rotten Tomatoes]

Vaughn and Aniston are said to have been all over each other at Dwight Yoakam's show at the Chicago House of Blues, where cast and crew celebrated the end of shooting on the romantic comedy.

According to our witness, the pair started by holding hands, then they had their "arms around each other. Then they were dancing. Then they were 'I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off' dancing. Then they were straight making out."

If they're trying to establish Vaughnnifer as a bankable tabloid commodity and generate Brangelina-level heat, they'd better not peak too early. They can continue the conspicuous makeout/denial cycle for a while, but a good rule of thumb is no Third World orphan adoptions or sexual safaris until the first trailers arrive in theaters.

• Jen and Vince just can't 'Break Up' [NY Daily News]