Trying to give genre fare an ironic tweak is a hallmark of the hipster creative ethos, but usually delivered with a stink-face detachment that jokes at the genre's expense or calls attention to the falsity of its own conventions. Jonatham Ames, the wunderkind of literary post-post-modernism who created the show and provides the name for the hero (played by Jason Schwartzman) clearly loves detective novels in a real way. Sincerity is not something that the struggling artistic types depicted in this show do well, or connect with in their pop cultural fare. We can see a Williamsburg production of Murder She Wrote: The Musical, but never a straight up noir set on the Lower East Side.

The major problem is that Hollywood always tries to bottle the lightning of cool into some sort of simulacrum that is too watered down and false for those who inspired it, and too esoteric and elitist for those outside of it. Throw in some mystery stories and the formula for this show is two degrees away from what the mumblecore aficionados would consider in good taste. The thing that scenesters hate the most is anyone trying to lay claim to the label of the scenester or, blasphemy of blasphemies, spread its message outside of the barely gentrified ghettos where it is born.

A show has to walk a very careful line with hipsters, as Flight of the Conchords did brilliantly, of playing at story but not really acknowledging any world existing outside of its precious snow bubble.

But with Wes Anderson alumni Schwartzman, man of the moment Zach Galifianakis, and Ted Danson (and his hair system) playing a randy, drugged-out downtown scene fixture (that Ames said is based on George Plimpton) how can the hoodie and Converse set resist this pedigree? And they really shouldn't. The premiere episode was good for a few chuckles and shows promise for things to come. The action moved quickly and the characters well-drawn characters, even if they are a bit of caricatures of the Brooklyn types you'd find at a magazine launch party (if they still had those). Which poses another serious dilemma, will the cognoscenti have enough of a sense of humor to laugh at themselves?

We predict that, rather than ignoring the show altogether, those in the know will tune in rapturously, and then bitch about how horrible and unrealistic it is over PBRs. After all, the only thing hipper than liking something that's super cool, is hating something when everyone else thinks it is.

boomp3.com



At the La Mer and Oceana Party for World Ocean Day 2008 on Wednesday night in New York City, Ted Danson decided to bring the whole "going green" movement down to the level of childish name calling. Danson saw that the movement had been making some headway, but was beginning to stall. Danson said, "It's good that celebrities are at the forefront of the plan to save our planet. Larry David and I are trying our best, but it just can't be the two of us. We need more people. If using hand signs to denote people as losers inspires them to recycle, then that's good for Mother Earth." Danson also said only losers drive SUVs and then called the people who leave their phone chargers plugged in all day squares, making the universal hand gesture that Uma Thurman popularized in Pulp Fiction.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

In today's episode: Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore; Al Pacino; Albert Brooks; Matthew Modine; Richard Lewis; Stephen Hawking; Orlando Bloom; Kate Walsh and Eva Mendes; Giovani Ribisi and Andy Samberg; Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen; Paul Bettany; Peter Berg, Minka Kelly, and Jason Lee; John Cho; Ginnifer Goodwin; Christian Siriano; Vanessa Paradis; Mary McDonnell; Reggie Bush; Jason Taylor; Chris Parnell; and Joel Madden.

· Cameron Diaz tripped up the bleacher steps at the LA Derby Dolls: Sirens vs. Fight Crew match Saturday 3/15 around 8pm in Historic Philipinotown (Temple and Westlake). Shr laughed it off as Drew Barrymore helped her up. They were in a group of 5-10 people and left about 3 minutes before the end of the 4th quarter. Rumor has it that Drew Barrymore is filming a Roller Derby-related movie.

· 3/14 - On my way out of the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly Hills during the early morning rush, I passed Matthew Modine. He was looking good, almost like he'd been frozen in the early '90s. A few blocks away at lunch time, I stood next to Albert Brooks at a street corner. He smiled at me. I enjoyed our little moment.

· 3/16 - I was walking toward a crowd that seemed to be gathered outside the garage next to the Crate and Barrel on Beverly in Beverly Hills. As I got closer, the crowd parted and out stepped a jovial Al Pacino and his little boy (sans twin girl). They were chatting it up and looked to be having quite the father/son day. Pacino was dressed in his trademark head to toe black ensemble.

· 3/20 - Driving past the Peninsula Hotel just after lunch time, I caught Larry David's arch nemesis/best bud Richard Lewis. In typical Richard Lewis fashion, he looked like he had enough of this life and appeared to be mumbling to himself.

· Saturday, March 15 - 9:30PM Stephen Hawking
Heading to Madre's in Pasadena after the Roller Derby (go Kung Pao Tina!), we were resigned to the fact Ms. Lopez's restaurant's time may had passed and we certainly didn't expect to see Mamma J-Lo herself. Needless to say, you could have pushed the lesbian, the homo and the straight girl over with a friggin feather when none other than quantum gravity father Stephen Hawking was sitting front and center at a table behind the hostess stand. As he was being wheeled back from the bathroom (no pictures of that as we do have some level of decorum/were blocked by his "assistant'), he was nice enough to stop and "chat" with several young admirers; with each compliment he kindly hit the "THANKS" button on his wheelchair-mounted computer, which meant a spooky robot-like voice echoed and bounced around the shabby-chic decor.

· Orlando Bloom at the SGI-USA Buddhist Youth Conference at El Camino College in Torrance on Sunday, March 16th. He ducked out during the closing statements and went backstage to greet the youth performers, where he told them that they were inspiring to him.

· March 14th- I saw Seth Rogen this afternoon at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. He was with a girl I assume was his girlfriend.

· 3/16/08 A friend and I were wearing out our Sunday brunch welcome at Dusty's in Silverlake when in walks Kate Walsh with a friend. I was stunned that she looked normal, yes still skinny, but not so skinny I wanted to force feed her lard. She then sat down near us and I had to field my friend's repeated inquires as to what she was eating. She ate Eggs Benedict, but I told my friend it was steamed puppies. That shut her up. Somehow we outlasted Kate and ended up catching Eva Mendes for the lunch rush. She looked tres relaxed and her body was bangin' despite wearing unfortunate/unflattering but very "in" high-waisted pants. Dark, face engulfing shades, per Hollywood norm, were worn by both ladies.

· Wed March 19 - 10ish Osteria Mozza...Giovani Ribisi, who appears to be shrinking every time I see him (or maybe I'm eating too much Mozza pasta), and Andy Samberg at a table of four. I wanted to tell him I gave my girlfriend a dick in a box for Christmas and she dumped be 72 hours later, but I didn't.

· Just saw Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the Sunday morning Ojai farmers market. You'd notice him whether he was or wasn't famous because he's really tall and has a glowing shock of white hair. Mary Steenburgen looks more like the average Ojai matron — attractive, thin and not weirdly deformed like the plastic surgery veterans. They both had that fearful/wary/annoyed look stars do when they're out in public and they think people might approach. It must suck to have to be that defensive all the time.

· Paul Bettany at the Four Seasons cafe (3/16) late Sunday afternoon. Very tall, very pale, very cute. Winked at me the second time I spotted him in the lobby. Jennifer Connolly may have an appalling dress sense, but she's a lucky girl to have him.

· Last night, at the Wiltern, the Explosions in the Sky show: Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg, in a group with but not "with" with Minka Kelly, aka Lyla Garrity. At one silent point of the show some dude shouted "GO PANTHERS!" and Lyla said "That's awesome!" and high-fived with Berg. Also there: Jason Lee, sporting full Earl mustache, checking me out while smoking outside :)

· Friday, 3/14: A very tall John Cho sighted on Virgin America flight from LAX to SFO. Was wearing a bandage around his wrist. Accompanied by white CAA flack. Overheard him conversing about what to ask Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors. Put on sunglasses when about to board, and then sat unobtrusively in first class. Heard others refer to him as "Harold! He's so cute!"

· Diminutive (aren't they all?) Ginnifer Goodwin came in for a late dinner at AOC Wednesday night. She was with a small group of folks, was seated at her table as the restaurant was clearing out around 10ish (another reminder of what an early town L.A. truly is), and carried a fucking awesome Miu Miu harlequin handbag that I totally covet.

· 3/14/08: Supertrannyhotmessferociafiercenessfromtransylvania Project Runway winner Christian Siriano at Popstarz in Weho. He was very tiny — Precious Moments sized — and very sweet allowing all the gheys to take pics with him. There was one overzealous girl who looked like she was going to crush his hollow bird bones with her 98-pounds of huggy grip.

· 3/15/08: BevCen Heritage 1981 — gotta love discount trendy clothes made of asbestos fibers, yo — Vanessa Paradis and spawns of Johnny Depp. She was with a nanny type and stuck at the chola-manned checkout forever (XXI). Nobody seemed to know who she was. The ParaDepp kiddos are superadorable and well behaved. Vanny looked like a beat-down Keri Russell, but we know the sultry songstress can clean up real purdy and stuff, like face of Chanel purdy.

· Wednesday, 3-19-08, 8:30pm or so: OMG, the only and only but only somewhat awesome Mary "Battlestar Galactica" McDonnell, at LAX, at where else, but the fucking Aadmirals Club, Terminal 4, because we know why we fly. The starship she captains was not parked at any gate, so maybe she was just slumming at a fancy airport bar? The gal has big tits, but I'd still rather see one of those randy handsome young Battlestar fighter pilots. Oh well, next trip maybe.

· 10:55 AM, Friday 21 March USC Heisman trophy winner Reggie Bush sits with a woman sporting long straight black hair (who is not Kim Kardashian - BOOH!!) at an outdoor table at Jinky's on Sunset. No baseball hat, no sunglasses, white t-shirt, black track pants, sneakers. He eats some sort of meat that still has bones attached or inside (ribs or wings family). He orders a second meal, a sandwich, but when it comes he sends it back. It reappaears in a to-go box. A random tall white guy approaches him and starts blabbering about some pizza place he is opening. Reggie looks uncomfortable. Pizza man shuffles off. Reggie splits the check dutch with his dining companion. Reggie drives off in a low riding silver sports car with spoilers that leave no ground clearance. It is an unlogo'ed make that we have never seen before with tinted windows - but it looks like what a young millionaire athlete should drive. He also heads westbound down sunset. [Relegate this to Deadspin? The Dustbin?]

· I saw Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins pulling out of the Hollywood CBS Television complex on Sunday evening (March 17th), in his white Bentley convertible with Florida plates. He was talking to someone on his cell and had a big smile on his face. Maybe he just cut a TV deal is giving up football for good?

· Ex-Narnia rapper Chris Parnell noshing with the rest of the lowlifes at Canter's on a Tuesday night (3/11). Chatting with a female friend, looked platonic. Couldn't see his plate to see if he ordered one of their deliciously spongy Monte Cristos. Seriously, best thing on the menu.

· sat march 15th. noon. joel madden just walked into the Armenian starbucks in glendale on pacific and burchett. he's totally blinged out and wearing that little black hat. talking on his phone. Looks like he pulled up in a black mercedes suv. no nicole or harlow in sight. :-(

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Edward Norton; Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Josh Kelley; Michael Cera and Maura Tierney; Ted Danson; Ellen Page; Robin Wright Penn, Tori Spelling, Scout Willis; Jason Schwartzman, Ron Livingston, and Elizabeth Reaser; Orlando Jones; Diahann Carroll; Wilford Brimley; Famke Janssen; Joel McHale; David Annable; Roma Maffia; Katherine Moennig; Sendhil Ramamurthy; Mystery and Alex Orbison. In England: Nicolas Cage.

· Vince Vaughn ambled past me last night (12/19) on Main St. in SM. The usual: Tall, thick, somewhat haggard. Was wearing one of those big insulated parka jackets and chatting loudly with an equally tall friend I didn't recognize. He looked thinner than he did at the Fred Claus premiere. I thought VV was an Eastside carouser, to what do we westsiders owe the honor, I wonder?

· Just thought I'd let you know that I saw Drew Barrymore and Justin Long arm in arm at the Murakami exhibit in downtown Los Angeles on Sunday, December 16th. I first spotted them giggling nervously in front of the Murakami statue depicting an anime-style character with a huge penis and a vortex of sperm shooting out of it. Like everyone else, they couldn't help themselves. I saw them around the exhibit at least 2 more times after that, looking flirty and sweet. Drew is even prettier in person...and Justin needs to shave off that silly moustache!! He's too cute for it. But it was a good sighting, and
added to the surreal environment Murakami created.

· 12/12 - mandy moore (who is beyond nice every single time i run into her), ryan adams (supposedly. didnt look like him to me but he was holding hands with her and someone said it was him), and josh kelley (who is actually way too awesome and nice to just be called mr. katherine heigl) at the ben lee show at el rey theatre.

12/14 - motherfucking edward norton rolling up to rza at the el rey. so gangsta. he was tall and skinny with a badass black leather jacket.

· Dec 12, 2007

Location: Birds. That post-collegiate, paparazzi-free bar next to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Franklin Ave.

Juno male lead, Michael Cera with a group of his friends, drinking and socializing. I thought he was taller, he stands at about 5'10"... maybe a half inch more.

Maura Tierney, ER Doctor Abby Lockhart, drinking and chatting away with some nondescript guy. I thought she was taller, she stands about 5'3" maybe (on a good day) 5'4".

Both were sitting on opposite ends of the room, oblivious to the others presence. As is the protocol in this celeb-drenched neighborhood, everyone left them alone.

· Monday - 18 December - Standing outside L'Occitane at the Malibu Country Mart, looking all tall, super skinny and gangly was Ted Danson, all alone, looking a bit lost and perhaps disoriented. I imagine if I'd tapped me some Whoopi Goldberg, I'd still be disoriented, too...wtf was he thinking?

· How I miss LA. Recently moved to the east coast but had to pass through LA on the way to Lihue. Flight 69 leaving LA on 12/14 around 1:40 After unexpectedly getting bumped to first class I find myself sitting 2 rows in front of Ellen Page. She was with some tall blonde guy named Sean. They seemed nice enough and they both, though underage, surprisingly, avoided the free booze they were regularly offered throughout all 6 hours of the flight.

· 12/16 - All within a couple hours and on one block on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills: Robin Wright Penn (flawless) strolled by smiling with her kids in tow. I rode in an elevator with Tori Spelling, her adorably chatty baby boy and her lively, all-male entourage. Scout Willis (middle spawn of Bruce and Demi) held a parking garage door open for me.

· A few unrelated sightings on Sunday, December 16:
While enjoying the vegan-y goodness of Real Food Daily, my special ladyfriend and I spotted Jason Schwartzman sitting at a table with several friends. This was actually the second time we've seen him there—and why not? It's a damn fine eatery and I'm not even vegan; I just like stuff that tastes good. When peeking over at Schwartzman became tiring, who should walk in but Ron Livingston and Elizabeth Reaser (who co-starred with Livingston on an episode of his show 'Standoff,' but is best known as the lady with the crushed face who, once surgically made attractive again, left her family for Dr. Karev on 'Grey's Anatomy) and an attractive brunette lady we did not recognize.

· Also, earlier in the day we happened upon Orlando Jones walking his large and slobbery-looking bulldog in a quiet residential neighborhood that shall be kept private, lest overzealous Defamer-reading Orlando Jones fanatics bother him at home.

· Wow, what a wonderful woman. Diahann Carroll (for those of us of a certain age, aka Julia) came into the City National Bank at Sunset and Doheny Road on the edge of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood. She looked as wonderful as she did a few months ago on Oprah. The woman is an icon. She waited in line and chatted with another woman who appeared to be a friend. No drama, polite, elegant and looking great. And no I am not her publicist. Just happened to be there at the same time. It made my day.

· Driving down a very congested Wilshire Blvd at the Beverly Hills Country Club on Thursday 12/13 was none other than Diabetes testing supplies salesman and co-star of Steve Guttenberg in Cocoon, Mr. Wilford Brimley. I'm always fond of C-list sightings and below but this one was made infinitely better by Wilfred rocking the cherry red Mustang Convertible. All I wanted to do was roll down the window and shout, "have you checked your diabetes!?"

· b-list boom on sunday, 12/16.. lunching in los feliz, complete with sunglasses was host of e!'s the soup, joel mchale... then, later at pizzeria mozza was the statuesque (and impossible to pronounce) famke janssen. tall drink of water....

· Dec 17 - I believe all those reports of MK Olsen "dating" with David Annable are complete BS because I just saw him "canoodling" with a different young white girl waiting on line at the Coral Tree cafe line at the Century City mall food court.

·Spotted a radiant Roma Maffia (Nip/Tuck) having brunch at Campanile with 2 other ladies. Curious, is she a lesbian in real life too?

· Dec 17 - "The L Word's" KATHERINE MOENNIG, smiling (!!) and radiant, at OK Gallery on 3rd with her equally ectomorphic girlfriend.

· 12/19 - Sendhil Ramamurthy (Dr. Suresh on Heroes) walking alone and bagless at the Grove. Blue baseball hat and blue tee.

· Sunday 12.16 Only one person at King's Road Cafe dressed for the occasion should a rave and/or the apocalypse suddenly break out and that would be Mystery from VH1's "The Pick Up Artist."

Monday 12.17 Roy Orbison spawn and Kat Von D humper Alex Orbison was buying spinning shoes (really, wtf?) at I. Martin.

Special Nic Cage UK Christmas Edition:

· My first sighting in a long time, surprised that I still care at 70 years and some, but what the heck...it'll dirve my daughters crazy. "Sunday, Dec. 16: Nicolas Cage at Waitrose, grocery store in Bath, stocking up. Shoppin cart was loaded, but looked like they were only shopping for themselves. Like they were moving in for the holidays. Cute wife and daughter. He had that same tense "ohhh shit" look on his face. Guess it isn't an act, tho shopping on a Sunday at Waitrose is a bit of job if you don't want to be noticed. Knew I recognized him, little nod. Everyone was nice and left them alone.

Help Me Help Help Me Help You [HuffPo]

In the interest of easing our way into this Friday morning (sssssh, please don't speak above a whisper until about noon), we'd like to share the Fast Hugs blog's excavation of this vitally important cultural artifact from 1986, How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love, a star-studded PSA that aimed to better inform the sexually awakening children of the 80s when it was totally OK to finally "do it." Blueballs alert: This is just Part I, where the sage advice eventually to be delivered by a reclining Ted "Sam Malone" Danson (assumed topic: how to know when it's time to take that drunk Red Sox groupie home), Jason "Derek Taylor" Bateman (topic: On Getting Ricky Stratton's Sloppy Seconds), and Justine "Mallory Keaton" Bateman (topic: "I made Nick wait until the third date. Here's how you can hold off your horny, monosyllabic boyfriend too.") is only teased, leaving us to wait in tense discomfort until they finally put out in Part II.

• Love, PSA-Style: Part I [Fast Hugs]

Appearing for the environmental group Oceana on Wednesday, [Ted] Danson and [Amber] Valletta also praised national food chain Wild Oats Market, saying it was the first in the country to voluntarily warn consumers about the risks of mercury in seafood. They told a news conference outside a Wild Oats store they hoped to raise awareness about the dangers of mercury. "Most people don't know about it. It's not spoken about on TV, it's not in newspapers, it's not posted in shopping markets," Valletta said. "My mom didn't know. My friends — I'll go to dinner and they won't know."

From ABC News:

Mercury poisoning can also affect your cognitive functioning, and [Daphne] Zuniga, 43, found that she was unable to remember her lines — even if she had learned them the night before. "I had crying spells, low-grade depression, loss of memory, and brain fog, which is where I would be talking to you and I would get disoriented," she said.

With Becker, that model, and Jo from Melrose Place on board, mercury's never going to know what hit it.

• Ted Danson Gives Attorney General Award [AP]
• Actress Describes Mercury Poisoning Ordeal [ABC News