I'm Still Big, It's The Water Bottles That Got Small

Douglas Reinhardt — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:35:00 EDT

On the New York set of Life On Mars, veteran character actor Harvey Keitel pondered the good old days of making movies when pennies weren't being pinched on beverages. Keitel fondly remembered being on the set of Taxi Driver and the quality of liquid refreshments. Keitel added, "They had these bottles of Coca-Cola the size of a dachshund. Honest to God, they were THIS BIG [makes gesture with hands] and you would've sworn that they had been flown in from the Artic Circle because they were so cold and refreshing. Nowadays, it's all this baby bottle business."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Imagining The Top Five Films In Eliot Spitzer's Netflix Queue

Molly Friedman — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:19:10 EDT

In case you hadn't heard, recently resigned NY governor Eliot Spitzer likes call girls. A lot. And while we're still busy casting the inevitable movie of the week, our slideshow-obsessed friends over at Us dove into their archives to reminisce on the hooker-laced pasts of Hugh Grant, Eddie Murphy and escort king Charlie Sheen, who've all been caught with their pants (and dignities) down. But call girls don't always come in the form of silicone sketchballs straight out of the Bada Bing. Sometimes they have hearts of gold and charisma as thick as the air on the 101! If they're played by stars, that is. We dove into our own archives and selected our top five films that revolve around the World's Oldest Profession, flicks that will surely be making their way onto Eliot Spitzer's Netflix queue in no time.

5. Taxi Driver: As much as we wanted Iris to get out of the game, we kinda loved imagining New York as a place where you could wander downtown and see girls wearing neon short shorts and big straw hats who looked like Jodie. And, as we all know by now, Spitzer likes 'em young.
4. Monster: No, she wasn't pretty. But she had a fondness for shooting pervs, something we might have considered had they come in the form of her johns. Strictly a cautionary tale for the former governor.
3. Indecent Proposal: We still can't figure out what was so sad about having Woody Harrelson for a husband, Robert Redford as a one-night fling, and $1 mil in the bank. All that time Demi spent crying would have better spent in the sack with either guy. She might be too pricey for Spitzer, though.

2. American Gigolo: With politics no longer looking like a viable career option, we think that Spitzer could learn a thing or two from the way that Julian sauntered through LA as though he owned it. Not only did he make the whole male escort thing look fun, he had the best wardrobe in the city.

1. Pretty Woman: The Porsche that Julia Roberts drove wasn't the only thing that cornered on rails. Go west, young governor, go west!

[Photo Credits: Love To Know, Wild About Movies, EZ Entertainment, Moldy Doily, Taittinger]

STARS CAUGHT WITH HOOKERS [Us]

Gawker: defamer, taxi driver

I'm Still Big, It's The Water Bottles That Got Small

Imagining The Top Five Films In Eliot Spitzer's Netflix Queue