Gawker: defamer, taxes

Craig T. Nelson Has Plum Had It With Paying Taxes, Dangit!

The Cajun Boy — Thu, 28 May 2009 22:35:16 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Well this is almost refreshing—-A clip from Glenn Beck's daily clownshow where the centerpiece clown is someone not named Glenn Beck. Who could it possibly be? Television's Coach Hayden Fox, naturally!

Where exactly Beck dug up Craig T. Nelson to appear on his show is anyone's freaking guess, but good golly is he pissed! He's sick and tired, SICK AND TIRED, of having his money taken from him to pay for the things that he thinks that he doesn't directly benefit from. Stupid bailouts! He's a "fiscally responsible grandfather" dammit!

But the most baffling thing of all about this clip is about midway through, after he's fully launched into a tirade over the government taking his money to pay for things he doesn't approve of, Nelson makes this statement:

"I've been on food stamps and welfare. Did anybody help me out? No!"

Go ahead, YOU figure that one out. I sure as hell can't. And if you do, please, PLEASE, share the answer with me. I'll be waiting.

And just a reminder, you're a traitor if you refuse to risk losing your life to fight in a ridiculously misguided war your country engages in, but you're a patriot if you refuse to pay your taxes so some poor slob and his family don't get put on the street when their home gets foreclosed by the bank. Just never forget that, okay?!

BREAKING: Wesley Snipes Has Three Years In Prison to Prepare For Next Role

STV — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 19:30:00 EDT

Word just over the transom at Defamer HQ notes that Wesley Snipes's tax-evasion hobby will cost him dearly — as in three years in federal prison. Not even character-boosting letters from Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson were enough in the end to save Snipes from his fate, which was saluted today by US attorney Robert O'Neill: "[Y]ou have to pay your taxes. ... To continually just say, 'I don't owe taxes, you must show me why I owe taxes,' it seemed his position was ludicrous."

Snipes was not required to surrender immediately; rather, he will begin his sentence at a later date after turning himself in closer to his home in New Jersey. Naturally, per Passenger 57, we're betting on black and predicting Snipes' prompt defection to Europe, where he and fellow expat fugitive Roman Polanski will eventually team up on Blade 4: IRSlayer.

Snipes Gets Maximum Sentence [WETH]

Next Time, Nicolas Cage Will Try TurboTax

nickm — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:27:13 EST

As if it's not enough for Nicolas Cage to have to deal with Kathleen Turner's chihuahua-napping accusations, now the actor is embroiled in a scandal with the Internal Revenue Service. Forbes.com is reporting that the Chiclet-toothed thespian used his production company to illegally write off $3.3 million in personal expenses, including "limos, meals, gifts, travel, and his Gulfstream 1159A turbojet." Sounds to us like someone had their taxes done by the shady accounting firm of Jackson, Hewitt & Snipes.

Cage's business manager contends that such expenses are "customary in the entertainment industry," to which Hollywood has responded with a resounding "Fuckin' A!" When it's all said and done, the IRS wants Cage to pay back a total of $1,802,000. Assuming he doesn't have that kind of coin stuck between his couch cushions, we fully expect to see Cage sign on for a new installment of National Treasure, one in which he risks life and limb to recover falsified 1040 forms from the secret IRS vaults that prove once and for all that Herbert Hoover cheated on his taxes.

Remake Of Con Air? [Forbes.com]

"Girls Gone Wild" Tax Indictment Teaches Us Not To Deduct Funny-Looking Numbers

Ben Popken — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:43:55 EDT

Joe Francis, the quivering chumbucket behind the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise, got indicted Wednesday for tax evasion, as noted by commenter LAGirl. His story holds a lesson for all taxpayers: when claiming deductions, don't use funny-looking numbers.

Numbers that set off a red flag for the IRS: round numbers, dollar amounts without decimals... and deductions consisting of the same number repeated over and over again.

Like Francis' false insurance claim for $333,333.33.

He also claimed $500,000.00, and $1,666,666,67 deductions. Ask any accountant. Those are damn stupid numbers.

Look at a receipt in your wallet. Did that coffee cost $1.11? Or $1.00? It was probably more like $1.28.

The same goes for your deductions. Let's face it, most of us don't keep every receipt, but when you're slightly fudging a number from memory, at least make it look right. — BEN POPKEN

Federal Tax Rap for "Girls Gone Wild" Boss [The Smoking Gun]