First, the inevitable viral Digital Short that happens when Justin Timberlake hosts: Timeberlake and Andy Samberg reunite for the "Dick In A Box" sequel, "Motherlover." Cameos from perennial MILF's Patricia Clarkson and Susan Sarandon, masterful comedy.

The show cold-opened with Will Forte as Tim Geithner in a relatively highbrow sketch about a banking stress test. Forte's Geithner impersonation wasn't perfect - or close, for that matter - but the jokes were both fairly topical and spot-on.

JT opened the show with the old standby I'm-Always-On-SNL shtick repeat hosts get to pull at some point. Typically, this is the kind of staid, old, boring shit SNL's writers lean on to devote energy towards other material that isn't funny, either. But: pair it with a musical bend and an effortlessly, ridiculously charismatic Timberlake, and it floats.

More cameos and Star Trek topicality on Weekend Update: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Leonard Nimoy. Finally, the stars get to slag on the fundamentalist fanboy Trekkies who're trashing the franchise's epic revitalization. Fun: watch Keenan Thompson break character at Nimoy's surprisingly decent comedic chops.

Finally, Jimmy Fallon pops in for another Barry Gibb Talk Show with Timberlake. Slightly meandering at times, but the overall effect of seeing (A) Fallon playing characters again and (B) anything that involves Justin Timberlake singing on the show plays well is a nice reminder of the glory days. It's too bad SNL has to keep dipping into the (fairly recent) past to unearth a quality hour of TV, but we'll take what we can get.

Brosnan in particular, who plays the patriarch of a family devastated by the death of their teenage son in an automobile accident, was singled out for demonstration of audience affection, prompting those at Saturday morning's screening from their seats for an ovation that lasted maybe 15 seconds but felt like forever in the usually subdued early-morning setting. Sarandon and director Shana Feste felt the love as well, along with young co-stars Carey Mulligan, Johnny Simmons and Zoe Kravitz. We've been to a lot of public screenings over the years and seen and heard a lot of pushover audiences go nuts for film. This was one of those once- or twice-a-fest scenes where you could almost smell 600 people at the Racquet Club losing their shit. People love this movie.

But why? Brosnan (who also produced) is out of his depths as Allen Brewer, a mathematics professor maintaining his stiff upper lip while wife Grace (Sarandon) melts down completely following their son Bennett's fatal car wreck. Allen's determination to hold the family together is meant to reinforce his stone wall blocking grief, but in the presence of the more genuinely whacked Grace — who wakes up crying and spends months, in hopes of some closure, reading to the comatose driver who struck her son's car — it never feels like more than a high-stakes mourn-off punctuated by convenient expository fights, loving plunges into the ocean, etc.

It was a mindfuck for Sarandon, and the emotional imbalance shows in the parts of her performance not drugged within an inch of their life by Feste's potent script bromides.

"I have to admit that when I read it, it was so eccentric and there were a lot of things I didn't realize — until we actually started doing it —how difficult it was," she told the audience after the screening. "That was my bad. There are some actors who say they can never remember their real names when they're filming. I can never remember my character's name. When I go home to my kids, I completely leave it behind. I found on the days when we did some of the very, very emotional scenes that you have to hold on to for eight or 10 hours, my body chemistry actually changed. I was really shocked about how I smelled and the person I became. It was really horrible. That was the first time I realized that kind of impact when you imagine those things; your body can't tell the difference between what's imaginary and what's real."

So how did Sarandon and the others get through the 25-day shoot? "The cast was really, really fun and loving," she said. "It was a very happy set; sometimes I think we overcompensated. I think the two funniest sets I've ever been on were Dead Man Walking and Lorenzo's Oil. Explain that."

Yet there are two reasons to see The Greatest: Mulligan and Simmons, playing Bennett's pregnant girlfriend and messed-up little brother respectively, both extraordinary and nothing short of sincere in navigating the dynamics of their own grief. We'll get to this later today (and later this week in a little more depth), but Mulligan, whose Greatest and An Education performances had hype-within-the-hype momentum accompanying them before the festival even started, is an insanely vivid talent whose relationship with Allen Brewer is the only thing that salvages Brosnan's own performance; her retelling to him of meeting Bennett on their last day of school is devastating. At 23, and with little on her resume besides 2005's Pride and Prejudice and some British TV, she already improves everyone around her. Simmons, meanwhile, was also one of the only redeeming things about The Spirit, portraying the hero as a lovesick young man. His responsibility to parse his love/hate relationship with his mythologized brother refines that heartbreak here.

When — not if — The Greatest is bought (IFC Films execs, for starters, hovered excitedly outside the theater Saturday morning), it's destined to attract all the same gloom-fetish pushovers who got it up for Revolutionary Road and In The Bedroom before it. But here's hoping they recognize the actual best of it; it doesn't take much looking to find the real stars in all that pitch black.

You’ve played quite a few real-life people now. Would you like to play Hillary Clinton in the movie of her life?
No. I’ve been around her and don’t find her… At this point, to say after what’s happened to her campaign and how they squandered all that money and all the different reasons her campaign fell apart, to blame it on sexism, I find so destructive to every young girl who dreams about making a difference through government. Instead of saying, "Look how far I’ve gotten and you can do it too," and all the positive things she could have done, she’s turned into such a blamer and whiner, as if that was the reason, when clearly she wouldn’t have been in the position she was in if she hadn’t been a woman.

If she hadn’t been married to that man and hadn’t had the Democratic machine behind her. To now turn around and say it was sexism I find so dishonorable and really destructive to women all over, young women all over. So I don’t really respect her enough to want to play her, and I find it sad and disappointing.

And now the most pressing question of all: What are your thoughts on the upcoming MTV remake of Rocky Horror?
They haven’t talked to me about their plans, so I don’t know what their rationale is to do it again. I really don’t know anything about it. I don’t quite understand what they would do to make it more charming or interesting. Certainly people could sing better than I could — that could be something that could change. But part of the charm of it, I thought, was that it was done sort of low-budget. So unless it’s done huge and very different I don’t know the point of remaking it.

Perhaps Sarandon is missing an opportunity to conflate both ideas: a Rocky Horror remake in which a garter-clad Barack Obama resurrects Hillary Clinton (wearing a gold lamé pantsuit) could be just the topical spin the property needs! With Sarandon as Clinton, LL Cool J as Barack Obama, and Rihanna and Chris Brown as young lovers Janet and Brad, we smell a midnight movie classic that could last from November 5 to all eternity.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Doris's Day [The Advocate]

Susan Sarandon, Dolphin Attack!
You can't make this shit up: while vacationing with writer/LSD aficionado Timothy Leary in the 1970's, the Academy Award-winning actress was "nearly killed" by a jealous female dolphin. The dreaded sea mammal took a bite out of her wrist and then "tower[ed] over me on its rear fins. She seemed to be 12 feet tall, emitting this loud, high-pitched noise. The attendants were screaming, 'We've got to get you out!' I was afraid I was going to get my other arm broken."

Fabio Meets a Bird
The hunky romance novel cover model was riding a rollercoaster and was attacked in the nose by an angry goose or something. While it's unclear, really, whether the bird noticed his massive, ham-like idiocy and decided to kamikaze or if Fabio just blundered into it as he has every other aspect of his life, the fact remains that Fabio once met a bird at Colonial Williamsburg. And though it died, the bird won.

A Tiger Shows Roy That He's a Fucking Tiger
Siegfried and Roy were magical gay animal tamers who did a show in Vegas involving our gayest predator cat, the white tiger. Mostly the beasts went along with the act, jumping through hoops and playing the hurdy gurdy and whatnot. Until one day, nature fought back. Roy Horn was mauled by a tiger who was new to the show, much like Nomi throws Gina Gershon down the stairs in Showgirls. After many surgeries, they managed to reattach Roy's face and the tiger was not euthanized. Reportedly, on the way to the hospital, Horn pleaded "don't harm the cat." Good on him! Apparently, during his extensive surgeries, a quarter of his skull was removed and placed in a pouch in his abdomen for later use. Blergh.

Crikey.
Steve Irwin was an Australian fellow who liked to poke at dangerous animals and then run away. He operated under the banner of environmentalism, which I'm sure was true in part, but mostly he just brazenly cheated death until it caught up with him. Two years ago, Irwin was swimming in the water off of Australia when a stingray's barb went through his chest, killing him instantly. Tragedy for sure, but even bigger a tragedy is that his wife Terri has continued in the dangerous animal game, selling her wicked little leprechaun of a daughter off to the animal wranglers, who make her rap and sing songs and talk endlessly about her dead father.

Ryan Seacrest's Gay Shark Attack
Clearly mistaken for some sort of jewel-encrusted seahorse, Dick Clark impersonator Seacrest was nibbled on by a shark over the weekend. Though state and federal agencies, including the FBI, DEA, ATF, CIA, NSA and BET, are on the hunt for the creature, speculation that it was simply Dunkleman wearing a snorkeling hose has not yet been disproven.

The Littlest Terror: Puffins
Gordon Ramsay took time from his busy pants dropping bellowing schedule to try to cook and eat a puffin and the little critter fought back. He was filming a show in Iceland and climbing down a rock face trying to nab the tiny bird. The bird promptly bit him on the nose and Ramsay went tumbling into the icy waters. He was able to save himself, much to the chagrin of the sous chef he's got locked in his sex dungeon.

Also, I just know there's a celebrity who got bitten in the face by a dog, but I can't remember who. Not Tina Fey. Who issss it?

The Academy has the full, looong slate of nominees, naturally, but we've narrowed our interests down to 10 easy storylines for our own Emmy dramedy — conveniently outlined after the jump!

1. Mad Men joined Damages as the first basic-cable programs to earn a nomination for best dramatic series. Its 15 other nods led the pack among all nominated dramas, while 30 Rock led all shows with 17 noms.

2. For the last time (literally), the Academy has snubbed The Wire for a dramatic series nomination. Critics at the TCA press tour will be symbolically immolating themselves by lunchtime.

3. In other snubs, FX is wondering this morning who it has to blow to get Denis Leary, Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver back on the list after nominations in 2007. Hint: It might be a bribe-friendly exec at AMC, which scored a kind-of-stunning two dramatic actor nods this year.

4. Silverman, Emmy Darling (Part 1): "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" was nominated for Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics. Silverman's competition is Flight of the Conchords and MADtv. As such, it bears saying aloud: " 'I'm Fucking Matt Damon' is going to win an Emmy."

5. Sarah Silverman, Emmy Darling (Part 2): Denied an actress nod for her own show, she earned a guest actress nomination for her turn as Marci Maven on Monk.

6. Amy Poehler's supporting-actress nod for Saturday Night Live is the first for an SNL actress since Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin were each nominated in 1978. Radner won.

7. There's apparently a formula for earning a few dozen Emmy noms: Just make a loooong historical epic like HBO's John Adams, which pulled in 23 mentions including outstanding miniseries — as Variety notes, the third consecutive year a period miniseries has drawn the year's biggest haul. Awards-bait film stars like Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney — both nominated as well — can't hurt either.

8. Come to think of it, film actresses on cable dominated dramatic categories in general, with four Oscar winners (including Susan Sarandon and Holly Hunter) and three Oscar nominees (Linney, Catherine Keener and Glenn Close) among the ten performers recognized. We presume Sally Field got Katherine Heigl's spot.

9. Speaking of whom, we're guessing ABC had higher hopes for Grey's Anatomy than two supporting-actress nominations and "Outstanding Prosthetic Makeup For A Series, Miniseries, Movie Or A Special."

10. If we must split up the reality and reality-competition categories, surely the Academy can find a way to further separate things like A&E's grueling Intervention from trifles like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Really.

• The 60th Annual Emmy Award Nominations [Academy of TV Arts & Sciences]

boomp3.com

At the afterparty for his latest film, Josh Hartnett managed to crack a slight smile as he saw Kirsten Dunst tucked away in a corner. Hartnett slowly lumbered across the room and over to an increasingly uncomfortable Dunst. Hartnett expressed his gratitude to Dunst for coming out to the party and in a very faint whisper said that it meant a lot to him. Dunst nodded as she looked for an escape from the conversation. Lucky for Dunst, her Elizabethtown co-star Susan Sarandon walked by at that exact moment. Dunst grabbed Sarandon by the shoulder and began to talk a mile a minute about what happened with the 2005 Cameron Crowe film.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Sarandon admits she took plenty of drugs during her time in 1970s Hollywood, and isn't afraid to share her experiences with the teenagers. "When they were pretty young, Miles said, 'Did you do crack?' and I had to explain, 'No, they didn't have crack in those days."

So "what type of girl" was the bright-eyed new It Girl back in the day? Unsurprisingly, just the type of girl most 70s actresses should have been: a reefer-loving hippie chick, or as Susan puts it herself, "a hallucinogenics and weed type of girl." And really, this news just warms our heart and erases any fear we may have of aging whatsoever. Knowing that one of our idols spent years hallucinating and stoned managed to look as fine as she does now, thirty years later? The next time (you know, in our dreams) we find ourselves sitting around a bong with Judd Apatow and his trendy stoner crew, ideally next to Paul Rudd, pass that joint our way, boys.

• SUSAN SARANDON TALKS DRUGS TO HER KIDS [Hollywood.tv]

At 61, Susan's complete lack of wrinkles or droopage on her face normally leads to speculation on whether or not she, like so many of her peers, has gone under the knife once or twice. But as she explained to reporters at last month's Speed Racer premiere, "I never say never...It's when people start looking like somebody else, their lips start to get weird, or they are younger looking at 65 than they were at 30 and they have that burn victim terrified look, that's just bad taste." Not to mention the fact that Sarandon has another secret to maintaining her youthful appearance the natural way: "I have a young husband." Oh, Susan. We officially crown you Queen of the Cougars.

[Photo credits: Getty, Daily Mail]

• 'WHY IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO GO UNDER THE TATTOOIST'S NEEDLE' SAYS ACTRESS SUSAN SARANDON, 61 [Daily Mail]

There's trouble in paradise. Our spies have reported that Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones has ceased filming due to a rift between the big man and his art director over the best way to depict Heaven. [...]

The Wellington crew are having a break while the creative differences are sorted.

Meanwhile, at the Speed Racer premiere in London, Empire reports that Bones cast member Susan Sarandon has expressed dissatisfaction with her character. "I play the comic relief, an alcoholic grandmother - my first grandma - but she doesn't really seem like a real grandmother because she has a lot of hair and jewellery and nails and liquor. I don't think I ever talk without a cigarette and a drink in my hand."

"Peter Jackson is really a nice guy and very interesting. It was really a very different way of working. We had a good time, I'm really curious to see what it's like because he kept pushing me to be more and more extreme and sometimes that's when you make your big mistakes so I'm not sure how it will come off - it will be interesting to see it from the point of view of the audience."

Portraying Heaven on screen is a far dicier proposition than, say, the Fires of Mordor—all those feathers, fluff, and pearly gates threaten to tip your vision too easily into the Realm of the Cheesy Afterlife. (Just ask the guy who thought sticking Robin Williams in a Monet painting in What Dreams May Come was a good idea.) Still, we have high hopes for any Jackson film, and we only pray he doesn't use this production to indulge his more volatile creative instincts, pushing a tray of painstainkingly hand-sculpted femurs and ulnas into his prop master's face, screaming, "These bones aren't nearly lovely enough!" before storming off to his trailer.

• Scoop! Lovely Bones Hits A Snag [flicks.co.nz via slashfilm.com]
• Speed Racer Premiere Report [Empire Online]

And what sort of enlightened activities are the new LA couple up to these days? Well, for one thing, the pair is fond of staging elaborate spiritual lessons, including photos of the as-yet-unnamed guru teaching Bimbo Summit leader lessons from a book called The Path To The Painted Shaman, and driving around LA drinkin' Starbucks and talkin' inner peace. Though we're reminded of Paris's five-second religious awakening, that period merely included staged photos of Paris clutching the Bible (which she, uh, apparently didn't actually read), this new fella in Paris' life may actually be doing some good. According to the Daily Mail, The Bearded One has already convinced the lingerie-wearing birthday girl to "give away a piece of diamond jewelery as they wandered the streets together." Geez, and all Duke's healer did was run off with all her money. Maybe this five-minute fling may actually do some good?

[Photo Credit: X17]

• THE ODD COUPLE: PARIS HILTON TOURS LA WITH BUDDHIST MONK FRIEND [Daily Mail]

In the age of celebrity mania it is hard to miss the impact of celebrity influence from fashion trends and product endorsements to the support of international causes and political points of view. As Americans gear up for one of the tightest political races in recent history, a celebrity backing could mean the difference between success and defeat.

"The Creative Coalition is here to ensure that celebrities advocate with knowledge and resources. We want to ensure they advocate effectively, no matter their political affiliations. Celebrities don't check their citizenship at the door just because their famous," Robin states. "They have the power to bring attention to issues others can't and they have every right to exercise that privilege. The Creative Coalition helps them do so successfully."

In extolling its civic virtue, the release invokes voter registration, alcohol abuse and education among its hot-button matters while name-checking Susan Sarandon and Kerry Washington as a few of its higher-profile beneficiaries. Even Quentin Tarantino, with his spotless record supporting feminist causes like Eli Roth's Hostel franchise and his own films' ethnic utopias including "Dead Ni**er Storage," became a confirmed health-care ambassador under The Creative Coalition's watchful guidance. If Bronk can't make you a better citizen, you're probably beyond compassion. Or, of course, you're Chuck Norris. Whom I'm kind of appreciating right now, to be honest.

Here's the full release, just in case you're interested.

Expert Commentary Available to Discuss Celebrity Impact of Presidential Campaign

Robin Bronk, Executive Director of The Creative Coalition Discusses Celebrity Impact on Political Climate

In the age of celebrity mania it is hard to miss the impact of celebrity influence from fashion trends and product endorsements to the support of international causes and political points of view. As Americans gear up for one of the tightest political races in recent history, a celebrity backing could mean the difference between success and defeat.

The Creative Coalition—the social and public advocacy arm of the entertainment industry—knows the climate is ripe for celebrity influence. Committed to mobilizing Hollywood on issues of public importance, The Creative Coalition (TCC) takes their position of power seriously. No blind endorsements. They're in the business of informed advocacy.

As Executive Director of The Creative Coalition, Ms. Bronk has been a frequent speaker and communicator on the role of the entertainment industry in public advocacy campaigns. She has been a featured guest on CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, New York 1, XM radio's Potus as well as other national and local media outlets.

"The Creative Coalition is here to ensure that celebrities advocate with knowledge and resources. We want to ensure they advocate effectively, no matter their political affiliations. Celebrities don't check their citizenship at the door just because their famous," Robin states. "They have the power to bring attention to issues others can't and they have every right to exercise that privilege. The Creative Coalition helps them do so successfully."

From attending forums on today's most pressing issues such as healthcare to actively engaging in Democratic, Republican Conventions and national debates, members are as energetic as they are educated. Most notably was the presence of top industry vets Quentin Tarantino, Tim Daly and Alfre Woodard at The Creative Coalition's Healthcare policy forum luncheon where the nation's growing concern with healthcare policy and reform was discussed with a panel of healthcare experts. The Creative Coalition representatives have the knowledge to effectively influence the community and nation.

Recently, The Creative Coalition partnered with ED in '08 in support of America's schools and attended the Las Vegas presidential debates. Stars like Maura Tierney, Matthew Modine, and James Denton were among attendees. We TV's "We Vote 08'" initiative, rocked by stars like Susan Sarandon and Kerry Washington, succeeded in generating greater buzz around campaign issues. The Creative Coalition involvement in The Health Alliance on Alcohol and The National Task Force on Children's Safety brought celebrity power and therefore visibility to organizations formerly in the peripheral of the public's eye. It's evident: The Creative Coalition has that extra something needed to get the public's attention.

Earlier this year, The Creative Coalition announced a partnership with Screen Media Films have to produce the documentary Poliwood - an up front and candid film exploring the role and involvement of celebrities in the 2008 elections. Filming kicked off with The Creative Coalition's annual Poliwood event in Park City during the Sundance Film Festival.

At The Creative Coalition, being a celebrity is more than a pretty face; it's an impetus for change.

###

In today's episode: Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong; Justin Timberlake; Susan Sarandon; Kiefer Sutherland; David Beckham; Courtney Love; Lindsay Lohan, Balthazar Getty, Taryn Manning, Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley; David Spade and Verne Troyer; Anne Heche; Adrian Grenier; James Cromwell, Jeremy Sisto, Lake Bell, and Dita Von Teese; Kyle MacLachlan, Chad Lowe, and Bridget Moynahan; John Mayer; Andy Dick; Christina Ricci; Greg Germann; Ian Ziering; Enrico Colantoni, Judy Reyes, and Curt Smith; Scott Caan; Wanda Sykes; Diablo Cody; Greg Grunberg; Daniel Baldwin; Jason Segal; Zoe Bell; Vanessa Paradis; Nathan Fillion; and Adnan Ghalib.

· Monday 2/11 — Saw MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY spending some of his Fools Gold at Cut. He was having dinner with LANCE ARMSTRONG. Just the two of them ... alone. Two guys dressed very casually sharing wine, steak, and conversation. Matthew's hair was cut very short like Lance's - perhaps they've found their leading man for whatever LiveStrong biopic that's surely in the works.

· On Saturday (2/9) I ran into Justin Timberlake — as in, he got in my way and we accidentally sort of collided — in the lobby of the Ojai Valley Athletic Club. He was there playing basketball with some hot hanger-on chicks and a few (local?) dudes. Very strange.

· Last night (2/10), Susan Sarandon at an outdoor table at the restaurant at the Beverly Wilshire. My friends and I had to do a triple-take because we were arguing that the woman we were looking at was way too young to be Susan Sarandon. Seriously, I'm gayer than a pink hairnet, and this woman was beautiful as hell. Gracious with the staff, blah blah. I'd go on, but I don't want to be accused of being her publicist. Sorry to gush.

· 2.8.08 - Saw Kiefer Sutherland at The Roxy. It was a showcase for the three bands on his record label. He had on jeans, black shirt and a gray blazer. The man is very good looking in person. He was wonderful about stopping and talking to fans and signing autographs. He seemed to be having fun with his friends and kept a very low profile.

· Crawling along Santa Monica Blvd in Beverly Hills on Tuesday afternoon (2/12), none other than Britain's gift to America, David Beckham rides past going down Rodeo Dr. in his convertible Porsche. Along for the ride were at least two of his sons, looking suspiciously unrestrained. Tsk Tsk Becks!

· Courtney Love unnecessarily raising hell at the Troubadour, 11 pm, Thursday night: I was at the Troub to see the Morning Benders open for the Kooks. It was sold out to the gills, so I camped out on the VIP staircase to watch from above. Courtney comes tearing up the stairs, with a blond minion in tow and no VIP pass. When the nice security guy asked her to please leave the VIP area, she said, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" The security guy then had a long talk with her to convince her that he was serious about not permitting her in the area, at which point the blond minion RAN to get her a pass. A pissed Courtney stood there grudgingly until the woman came back with the wristband. She waved the wristband in the security guy's face, and tried to brush by him once again. At which point he informed her that she needed to put the wristband ON. News flash: The world is over Courtney Love and her rockstar bullshit. When is Courtney going to get over it, too?

· Well I guess the quiet neighborhood Italian restaurant my parents love is now the hottest meal ticket in town. Last night, Thursday, Feb 7, at Madeo: Lindsay Lohan with brown hair, Balthazar Getty & wife, Taryn Manning & Boyfriend (Mams Taylor), pre fight and leaving in a black Rolls Royce Phantom, as Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley arrived in their black SUV. What a night!

· A bearded David Spade and shockingly tiny Verne Troyer chilling together last night (2/7) in the most visible entry area of Ketchup on Sunset. Laughing and drinking and skeezing out on the Playmate-types circling them. Could someone please give these two a basic-cable reality show? Like, now? I'll make it easy for you, VH1 junior alternative development exec. Just cut and paste this PrivacyWatch sighting into an email and send to your boss. I won't even ask for a commission.

· Anne Heche dining with 2 or 3 other peeps at Mercedes Grill in MDR last night, Feb 7. Pretty & petite with a black fedora that she surprisingly pulled off while simultaneously wearing cargo pants. She's a smoker, yuck.

· Just saw Adrian Grenier, looking mighty scruffy at the MOCA opening tonight. Didn't really see who he was with, but it seemed like he was being left alone. I wonder if he Jacksoned the Pollock out of anyone after the show.

· Fun times at Hugo's in West Hollywood, Sunday February 10: The inexplicably famous Dita Von Teese (who's notability, as far as I can tell, is due only to having been married to a mid-level rock star, as emulating styles of 60 years ago and removing said styles in the 'burlesque' fashion is, no matter how well it is done, neither unique nor worthy of such fame).Far more exciting was our second viewing of prominent Oscar-nominated 'that guy' James Cromwell, the ever delightful Jeremy Sisto (who my fiancee insists bears uncanny resemblance to Skeet Ulrich, who was not there and the comparison isn't true anyway) and the underrated Lake Bell (also the second time we've seen her there). Sisto, on leaving after a quick coffee with someone I didn't recognize, proceeded to have friendly conversations with both Cromwell (a 'Six Feet Under reunion' as commented by the lady at a table nearby) and Bell.

· Today, Sunday 2/10, was a fabulous day at Hugo's on Santa Monica! First, Dita von Teese walked in, wearing a great 40s-style outfit and looking flawless as always. Her skin is to die for! Then, I saw Jeremy Sisto from Six Feet Under and Clueless...he was scruffy but looking good! He ate and then lingered outside for a while talking to some girls. Also at Hugo's was his Six Feet co-star James Cromwell! He was so, so tall! Jeremy and James saw each other after a while and had a friendly hello.

· Friday 2/8, at the Rhett Miller show at the Troubadour, Bridget Moynahan wearing a Giants hat (kidding!) and looking good post-Brady Baby. Also Chad Lowe looking, well, like Chad Lowe.

Also, Monday 2/11 at the Stairs in Santa Monica, John Mayer slowly walking off the champagne and caviar from Grammy night.

· Prior to going to the Rhett Miller show at the troubadour on fri (2/8) my friend and I hit Lou on Vine for a bite and some vino... sitting near the bar was agent Dale Cooper, Kyle MacLachlan. He wears the hell out of a pair of Levi's. Hit the show, Rhett was amazing, no surprise there, but as we were leaving Bridget Moynahan came down from the VIP section looking for Rhett. She looked great, was with some girlfriends....

· Friday February 8th - Went to the Woods where Andy Dick, in the spirit of Adrian Grenier, asked if he could "blank" the "blank" out of me. I declined, and he proceeded to chat up a booth of blondes, who must have been more receptive.

Later that same night, I saw a blonde Christina Ricci at Denny's, accompanied by an two older gentlemen. I'm not sure of what she ordered, but she looked very cute with no makeup.

· Feb 7 - At a party in Chinatown for Dwell Magazine. Bizarrely, so is Andy Dick —drinking beer (is he supposed to be sober?) — and he's chatting with Greg Germann from Ally McBeal. Picture attached.

· Sunday 2/10: Hiking Runyon Canyon with a friend was Ian Ziering. Later, at Studio City Jamba Juice, spotted Judy Reyes from Scrubs. Then at the upstairs California Pizza Kitchen, Enrico Colantoni (Just Shoot Me & Veronica Mars) was eating lunch with his family. At the next table Curt Smith from Tears for Fears (!!!) was having lunch with his daughters and helping them color. So cute.

· Yesterday (2/5) my friends and I spotted Scott Caan of Oceans 11,12,13, etc fame at the Whole Foods at Santa Monica and Fairfax. He wearing one of those hats, like a fedora but smaller (porkpie?). He was also wearing black Chucks. Typical Hollywood short but definitely do-able.

· Writing this on my cell, so it will be short. Right now (5:30pm on Monday, Feb 11) Wanda Sykes at Marix in WeHo. Walked in with a guy and a girl.

· 2/06 at the new retail space called: Grove, one Diablo Cody, looking just like her EW illo!

· On my way to work Downtown today (Feb 6) and was walking past the Original Pantry and saw Greg Grunberg, (OFFICER PARKMAN from HEROES) standing outside waiting. He was texting on his phone and he caught me staring and then I pulled out my phone so I think he was waiting for me to go for it, but I felt silly. And also I could feel him reading my thoughts about the whole situation...

About an hour ago I was walking to 3rd street promenade from a parking garage on 2nd, when someone asked me for a light. It was a VERY drunk Daniel Baldwin! Any other time, I wouldn't have batted an eye, but one of my guilty pleasures just happens to be Celebrity Rehab (I know, I can't help it). So seeing Daniel drunk was quite a shock! I didn't say anything for fear he would lose it, so I obliged and lit his cigarette. Then he staggered off alone without saying thank you. I guess Celebrity Rehab really doesn't work.

· 2/1 Was forced to go to a series of one act plays friday night and not happy about it. Was excited, however, when I saw Jason Segal of How I Met Your Mother sitting in the front row. I've crushed on him since Freaks and Geeks! I assumed he was there to support a fellow writer or actor. Spotted him again during intermission kissie-facing one of the actresses in the play:( As much as I wanted to hate her - she was gorgeous - I couldn't because she was hilarious in the show and incredibly sweet when I told her great job which,yes, also allowed me to get closer to my crush.

· Wednesday 02/05 Death Proof's Zoe Bell drinking a PBR and checking out the art at the imuhwherwulf opening at the Thought Gallery in Hollywood. In person she was a total double threat. Not only was she very pretty but she looked like she could beat up half the dudes there. Granted half the guys there were wearing girl's jeans but still.

· Today (10-Feb) I was enjoying a gorgeous day at Disneyland's California Adventures when I should happen to look over and see Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp's "girl", (as he refers to her). She was with their young son Jack who looked to be having a fantastic time and a Disney VIP Liaison. I didn't see their daughter nor the Demon Barber himself. I think I was pretty much the only person in the vicinity to have any clue who she was.

· Tuesday 2/5 Nathan Fillion (you'll always be captain tight pants to me) with a lady friend taking in Wicked at the Pantages.

· 2/11 - Last night, I watched professional toolbox, Adnan Ghalib, dining with a young coquettish brunette at SFValley celebrity haunt Hugo's Studio City. He had an animated conversation outside whilst re-read the menu - thrice. I was surprised to see the amount of bling he was wearing, and watched him inappropriately touch the waitress on her arm. I need to bathe again...he makes me feel greasy. Who do these people think they are?

Susan Sarandon outraged the Jewish Voice for Peace group when she crossed its picket line to attend a cocktail party last month in the new Madison Avenue jewelry store of Lev Leviev, a diamond-dealing real-estate mogul who owns the former New York Times building and the Apthorp building on the Upper West Side.

Now the California-based grass-roots organization has sent the star a letter asking her to "publicly sever ties" with the jeweler, whom the group is boycotting because he supports Jewish settlements in the West Bank. But Sarandon's rep denies she's allied with the high-end gem dealer.

You read right: the Jews opposing "settlements" weren't lawyers, they were pro-Palestinian protesters. These "Jews," whose payos were suspiciously affixed with duct tape, chanted "Sorry 'bout those charging tanks! Sorry that we run all banks!" and "What do want? Pogroms! When do we want them? Now!" at the Bull Durham star in an effort to bring peace to the Hamas-led region. (The same Jews will be protesting at the set of the next Justin Long film. They just hate him.)

• JEWELER FOES BLAST SARANDON