Trying to sell real estate in this economy is going to be rough for our three flamboyant barons, Josh Flagg, Madison Hildebrand and Chad Rogers so Million Dollar Listing just went from a real estate porn show to a "people with shitty jobs show." It is in some very good company, but do these mini-real estate tycoons have the crappiest jobs on the tube?

Million Dollar Listing
Position: Realtor to the stars!
Dangers: Not making any money in this shitty economy, losing your car, having people make fun of you, starving to death.
Payout: In the five to six figures, if they can make a deal.
Perks: Going through rich people's medicine cabinets.
Risk/Reward Index: We'd do it, if we didn't have such a stable media job.

Deadliest Catch
Position: Crab fisherman.
Dangers: Um, death! By freezing in the rain, falling overboard, dealing with surly captains, or random crustacean uprising.
Payout: In the mid five figures, for only a few weeks of work.
Perks: Free crab!
Risk/Reward Index: We'll use imitation crab in our California rolls, thank you.

Position: Former action star, Louisiana police deputy.
Dangers: We haven't seen the show yet (it starts in December) but we assume dealing with shirtless meth fiends running from the law while dealing with Above the Law jokes.
Payout: We're guessing in the low five figures for the police gig. We're not sure what being washed up pays.
Perks: A comeback!
Risk/Reward Index: Totally worth it (for the viewers).

Ace of Cakes
Position: Baker
Dangers: Cavities, fatness, the torture of touching all those delectable sweets and not being able to have any, living in Baltimore.
Payout: Low.
Perks: Three words: Five Second Rule.
Risk/Reward Index: Pretty good, if you don't mind being poor.

Sunset Tan
Position: Tanning Assistant.
Dangers: Being too stupid to say "melanoma" or know what one is, other people's cellulite.
Payout: Minimum wage.
Perks: Not any really.
Risk/Reward Index: At least you get free McCafés at McDonalds.

Flipping Out
Position: Jeff Lewis' assistant.
Dangers: Your insane OCD boss you needles you more than a heroin addicts arm.
Payout: Probably low. Jeff keeps whining about how he has no money.
Perks: You get to work with a funny maid and meet Andy Cohen at the reunion show!
Risk/Reward Index: After mental health bills, it's cost prohibitive to work here.

Sunset Tan worker Amber Peterson tells E! Phelps asked her out to dinner Friday night after she gave him and his friends complimentary airbrush tans. “He wore a disposable brief and it reminded me a lot of his trademark Speedo,” said Peterson. She also said the scantily clad Phelps had a tattoo on his right hip, a symbol of the Olympic gold rings.

Throughout dinner Peterson said Phelps was the perfect gentleman, even making her feel better after spilling a drink on his lap. “I spilled a Shirley Temple in his lap! He was a great sport about it and didn't get angry. He just laughed and said, ‘It happens and it will dry!’" [...]

The two discussed Phelps desire to swim again in the next Olympics, his preference of frosted flakes over Wheaties (he’s the new face of frosted flakes), and his excitement for the upcoming MTV VMA’s. “He was excited to be a part of the show and said his tan was going to look good on TV,” said Peterson.

After dinner the two went to Moon nightclub where Peterson said they “danced the night away.” They also exchanged phone numbers and Peterson says they “have exchanged texts” since.

Indeed, Phelps did look great on TV. What's more—it sounds as if something pretty special might be blossoming between these two. Just take a look at some of those exchanged texts:

"Had a great time with u!"
"?"
"It's Amber from Snst tan... Sry about the Shrlee Temple ;p""
"O hey whats up?"
"Not much. Want some more airbrushing? My treat :)"
"Nah I'm good. O did i leave a medal in your car?"
"No but ill check. Get 2gether soon?"
"Yeah, def."

Could the pitter-patter of little beflippered, deeply bronzed feet be far away? Time will tell!

• Sunset Tan [E]

While we won't know until next week whether or not The Ollys were successful in their attempt to reclaim their rightful positions as the ultraviolet heirs to the Sunset Tan empire, we're fairly certain that the E! Network's promotional Olly blitz — see their Battle Of The Basic Cable Stars competition video below — means that good things are in store for the blonde bobbleheads. After all, there is only one thing that's more important to the team that runs Sunset Tan than moving a few extra cases of Banana Boat: getting renewed for Season Three.

• Sunset Tan [E! Online]

Even the brave souls at E!'s Sunset Tan were not immune to the quake, though they faced it with their clothes already off:

“Sunset Tan” sales rep and cast member Holly Huddleston was stuck in a tanning booth when things started to vibrate during an FHM photo shoot promoting the E! series.

“I was in nothing but a bra and panties and wearing these high heels when everything started shaking,” Huddleston said. “I kind of stopped and looked around to see if it was just me, if I was the one shaking or if I was just positioned funny.

Satisfied that the shaking was due to natural causes and not a few too many Stoli/Red Bulls, Huddleston went back to work, bravely illustrating the (paraphrased) axiom that "a woman can do any earthquake a man can, she just has to do it backwards, in high heels, while a photographer grouses, 'Can someone keep those nipples iced up?'"

• Reality TV stars react to the Los Angeles quake [Los Angeles Times]
• Video: Earthquake Hits The Big Brother House [THR]

While we realize that all will probably be forgiven and the girls will be back to spray-tanning grade-schoolers by the end of next episode, it's hard not to worry that the Ollys, cast out onto the streets of Hollywood with only one marketable skill*, will soon be reduced to applying bronzer to sun-averse Japanese tourists in front of the Chinese Theatre for five dollars a pop.

[*Don't you go there, sickies! This is a family program.]

• Sunset Tan [E! Online]

• Previously: Miserly 'Sunset Tan' Mom Only Cares Enough To Spend $1300 On Daughter's School Photo Prep [Defamer]

· Add "corpses" to the list of fun things the Sunset Tan people will bronze, right below "grade-school girls with crazy moms." (And in an amusing side note, our tipster found this clip while searching YouTube for clips of "hot blondes" doing stuff.)
· Mayor Villaraigosa is separating from his wife. Our knee-jerk reaction to this news is the blame this photo of him posing with Paris Hilton.
·A South Park promo puts an unnamed network's "balls policy" to the test.
·Brad Whitford has made peace with Studio 60's demise. We just hope that Tom Jeter's brother gets out of Iraq alive.