1. The Cast. Or lack thereof. But that's only half of it: If some anonymous dude and his tremendous Photoshop 2.0 spiral-blowing powers take precedence over the talent's faces, then they must remain hidden deep in the credits well with the rest of the schmucks. Really, though, if you've got Dakota Fanning in your movie, you must have her in the promo art. There's no excuse for anything less. Get creative! Anything will work — for example:

You're welcome!

2. Four producers, no more. We've mentioned this scourge many times before, most recently with Righteous Kill. But again: When you have enough credited producers to field a beer-league softball team, you should not be designing a movie poster in the first place — you should be designing a DVD cover.

3. The Web site is a MySpace page. Last we checked, distributor Summit Entertainment released the most sensational, highest-grossing film of the fall. Would it kill them to splurge on "push-themovie.com" or something similar. Oh wait — they did. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

4. Random pandering overdose. There's a sports car. Getting blown up. Next to an automatic rifle. Flying through the air. Like they're wont to do. Fifteen-year-old boys are pretty dumb, but they aren't that dumb.

5. You don't blast Djimon Hounsou into the air with your palm-waves. He was in Amistad, motherfuckers!

• 'Push' Teaser Poster [Worst Previews]

Because if Ruffalo isn't keen to work on Greenburg in the wake of his brother's staggeringly tragic death this week, we can't imagine he'd be up for doing the press rounds either on a troubled film that needs all the star support it can get. And filmmaker Rian Johnson's official explanation on his message board doesn't quite make sense:

January is crowded with an insane amount of Oscar movies (some being released, some expanding) and Summit decided that Bloom would play better as counter-programming to a few summer movies than to a few dozen Oscar ones. [...] January is definitely crowded, and May may prove a better spot, so there's logic to Summit's move. So May it is.

"Logic"? Going up against Angels and Demons and Bruno in limited release on May 15, then opposite a Pixar movie when Bloom goes wide May 29? It is probably better than the wasteland of January, we suppose, but still. Come clean, guys.

• New Release Date - May 29th [Rian Johnson via Cinematical]

Twilight's budget was only $37 million (plus at least that much in marketing), which should have Summit well in the black by the middle of next month. Stewart and Pattinson came cheap, earning about $2 million each for their roles as vampire Edward Cullen and his dewy teen love interest Bella Swan. Alas, those days are over: Looking ahead, one rumor has the studio adapting New Moon and Eclipse — the second and third novels in Stephenie Meyer's wholesome, bestselling bloodsucker franchise — simultaneously, probably at a combined budget pushing $160 million. Anything to improve the FX, we suppose (there are werewolves in the next one), and anything to make reading New Moon worth it for poor Stewart.

Their pricey return all but assured, Summit will move on to Hardwicke, who wasted little time and leverage last weekend pulling Favreau-ish media stunts about her doing Twilight's follow-ups right:

it's not confirmed that director Catherine Hardwicke will be back behind the camera. The director told the AP Sunday, ''I want to be sure that [the second film is] going to be done right. I don't want to rush into it. It's not like Friday the 13th or Halloween, you can't just do it super fast and knock another one out.'' Hardwicke indicated she wanted to be sure she and the film's producers were on the same page going forward.

Right, yes, the "same page." Just send it to her posse at CAA, would you, Summit? They'll take it from here.

• Squeezing more blood [Chicago Sun-Times]

• Summit Announces 'Twilight' Sequel "New Moon' [DHD]

—Our bowels cramp enough at the thought of the live-action Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, based on the video game about a sixth-century prince who teams with bad-ass Princess Farah to defend the eponymous sands from the evil clutches of the Vizier. Then came the news that exotic Middle Eastern megastar Jake Gyllenhaal signed on as the title character, with new Bond girl Gemma Arterton joining as Farah and idea-allergic Jerry Bruckheimer producing. "It's not one of our smaller productions," Bruckheimer snickered when declining to specify the budget, allowing only that shooting during Gyllenhaal's weekly union work-stoppages on Nailed have helped streamline things immensely.

—Guess which of these horrible, horrible things is true about Sony Pictures' planned Flash Gordon revival: A) David Archuleta is reportedly in talks to inherit Queen's soundtrack duties from the 1980 film adaptation. B) Max Von Sydow will reprise his role as Ming the Merciless. C) Breck Eisner is slated to produce and direct. Then, once your choice sinks in, jump in front of the nearest oncoming bus.

—Christian Bale, whose roles in challenging fare like The Machinist, American Psycho and Rescue Dawn both stunned and endeared us over the years, has shat violently and perhaps irrevocably on our goodwill: When agreeing to the role of John Connor in the godforsaken, now-filming fourth installment of a Terminator franchise that died 16 years ago, Bale apparently acceded to another pair to follow. "Any time we're feeling pressure we just take a step back and say, as fans, 'What would we like to see?'" producer Victor Kubicek told the BBC, apparently forgetting that he also hired legally blind cultural parasite McG to direct the movies. We know what we'd like to see as fans, and it involves lost dailies and a plague of locusts.

—Further proof that not only is there a God, but also that He hates us: Variety today notes that Summit Entertainment is bringing back the Scottish swordsman adventure Highlander. "I have always dreamed of reinventing this franchise," fork-tongued Summit overlord Patrick Wachsberger cackled into his brimstone speakerphone. Production is slated for 2009, barring an actors strike and/or the Apocalypse.