Well, apparently try as we might to get on with our lives, the world just can't live without just a little more Aerosmith, not even for a week. Last night the band ended their six day old divorce. During a Perry show at New York's Filmore, Tyler suddenly appeared on stage and announced, according to NME, in a specimen of authentic aging rocker gibberish, so rarely heard in this day and age:

I just want New York to know, I am not leaving Aerosmith," he said, before turning to Perry and stating: "And Joe Perry, you are a man of many colours but I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!"

Tyler then instructed Perry's drummer to play, and the band launched into Aerosmith's 1975 hit 'Walk This Way'. Tyler ended the song with his arm around Perry.

[Via Vulture]

In a story the media is still trying to wrap its head around, guitarist Joe Perry told the Las Vegas Sun that all he knows about the end of his band is what he's read on the web, which is telling him that after decades together, Aerosmith is no more. After playing a show in Abu Dhabi last week, Perry said he returned home to Boston and read an interview Tyler had given to the website of Classic Rock Magazine in which in said he was done with the band.

"I don't know what I'm doing yet, but it's definitely going to be something Steven Tyler: working on the brand of myself –- Brand Tyler," Tyler told Classic Rock.

Apparently inter-band communications are not what they could be, so reading rumors and quotes online seems to be Aerosmith's only source of news about each other. The Sun quotes:

"Steven quit as far as I can tell," Perry said from his Boston home. "I don't know anymore than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don't know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don't know."

Part of the problem, he says, is that Tyler doesn't return his phone calls.

"He's notorious for that," Perry said. "That's one thing I've learned to live with. I try to overlook it. I like to pick my battles. Frankly, the last few months I've been wanting not to rock the boat. I don't want him canceling any more gigs. We really wanted to do these last four. We just kind of didn't want to call him out or anything and get him anymore pissed off, for whatever reason. So we just let things lie. So we did the gigs and, like I said, I got off the plane and saw this online. That's how I know about it."

And apparently, the band as a whole is believing what it reads. The group posted on its own website a link to a Boston Herald story about the Classic Rock story about the break-up.

[Via Hitfix]

Graduated With Honors: It may have taken them two or twelve attempts, but so far Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Keith Urban appear to be holding steady after their most recent rehab stints. After promptly driving while wearing cokepants two weeks post-Promises last summer, Lindsay's stay at the trendy Le Cirque led her into the loving lesbian arms of Sam Ronson, the nipple-baring cover of NY Magazine, and out of the vapid Living Lohan spotlight. Britney Spears struck out at three different centers early last year only to wind up spending most of her winter strapped to gurneys, but ever since being treated for “bipolar disorder” at UCLA, the comeback queen has gone an entire three months without dropping a single baby or exchanging fishnets with a single bimbo. As for soon-to-be-dad and onesie expert Keith Urban, the former freebaser’s stay in an unknown center months after marrying Nicole Kidman has proven successful so far, though he is approaching his one-year anniversary since Rehab Stay Number 1. But surely the arrival of a bundle of batface joy will keep him on the straight and narrow.

Wild Cards: First-timers Eva Mendes and Kirsten Dunst both tried to mend their respective drug, booze, depression, and “method acting” vices at Le Cirque this year, but only time will tell if Eva’s so-called research will show its Oscar-worthy face on-screen. As for Dunst, AA classes haven’t stopped the onslaught of gossip claiming the shaky star is still wobbling her way around New York and perfecting her drunk faces of yore. And then there’s our favorite alcohol-snorting songstress Amy Winehouse, who’s tried out so many rehab centers we stopped counting long ago. Sometimes sane on the stage, sometimes making out with Pete Doherty, we can’t even look away from her ever-growing beehive long enough to ponder her chances of success.

Newest Students: Last month Steven Tyler checked in to Las Encinas, suggesting even the glamorous druggie rocker crowd hasn’t entirely cleaned up its act despite Mick Jagger’s immortal hips and Keith Richards’ indestructible face, but spending only three weeks in the slammer and blaming the stay on “foot pain” lead us to believe Tyler’s ongoing love affair with rehab centers isn’t quite over yet. Which leads us to Heather and Shawn. As Us reports, Locklear’s mysterious March evening of 911 calls and denials wasn’t as innocent as her rep claimed at the time. Denise Richards’ personal doormat is said to be dealing with “anxiety and depression” at an in-patient facility, while Larry King’s latest trophy of ten years is allegedly headed to rehab for munching on Generation Rx’s candy of choice: painkillers.

[Photo credits: Splash]

• TOO MUCH PAIN [NY Post]
• HEATHER LOCKLEAR IN REHAB FOR ANXIETY, DEPRESSION [Us]

After gleefully noticing Liv's decision to leave that recent caked-on makeup and tranny-ish new look behind her, we couldn't help but grow worried as she told the tale of when Papa Tyler taught her about how one goes about flossing their teeth. Steven's method, you see, was to force little Liv to (cringe) "smell" the tape post-floss. Naturally, Liv found the scent "disgusting," and has been quite the star flosser ever since. But considering the life her metallic Speedo-loving father was leading at the time, we hope she never comes to the realization we've currently come to: Liv's gorgeous smile is the result of one whacked out bender Steven spent in the bathroom smelling dental plaque.

• THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO [NBC]