Gawker: defamer, starbucks

'One Is For The Car Ride And The Other Is For The Walk From The Car To My House'

Douglas Reinhardt — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Recently resurrected pop star Britney Spears looks like she has succumbed to her old vices as she was spotted double fisting frappuccinos outside of a chain coffee store over the weekend. The staff at the major chain seemed unsure about selling the second adult milkshake to the recovering singer, but Spears assured them that the second drink was for a friend out in her SUV. The coffee team quickly regretted their decision as Spears pounded one of her drinks like an inexperienced Chico State student at his first keg party. One of the employees said, “I should’ve known that she wasn’t going to share. She doesn’t look like somebody that would share. Now, Julianne Moore? That’s a woman who’ll split a pizza with you.”

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'Yeah, It’s Just Too Hot To Handle'

Douglas Reinhardt — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:00:00 EDT

Boomp3.com

While she may be able to juggle a successful acting career and a successful personal life, Gossip Girl star Blake Lively was not able to juggle her beloved maltepoo and her equally beloved Caramel Macchiato. Lively walked for a couple of blocks juggling the two precious items before handing the frothy espresso beverage off to her bodyguard. Yet as soon as Lively gave the drink to her bodyguard, she found herself craving a quick sip. Lively whispered, “I know this may sound weird, but could you help me take a drink from my coffee?” The bodyguard slowly brought the cup to Lively’s lips and gently poured the drink, after which Lively emitted a giant, satisfied sigh.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

The Active Imagination of Britney's Bodyguards

Douglas Reinhardt — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Boomp3.com

A bodyguard in charge of protecting Hollywood’s latest comeback queen, Britney Spears, appeared to be in the midst of a rather intense game of cops and robbers at Starbucks yesterday. Justin, Spears’ main bodyguard (and the robber in today’s adventure) said, “Every day is pretty much a slow day since the conversatorship. So, a couple of the other guys and myself run around the neighborhood playing cops & robbers. It helps us focus and stay alert just in case she has another meltdown." Another bodyguard, Bobby, fondly recalled an epic game that took place last week and involved virtually the whole neighborhood. Bobby said, “It was like that movie Heat. Everybody running around. Making the sound effects with the mouths, hiding behind flipped over red wagons. It was great.”

According to Justin and Bobby, Monday’s game was partly inspired by the Sylvester Stallone classic, Cobra.

[Photo Credit: X17]

Rats. They Wrote Renee Instead Of Ellen On My Drink.

Douglas Reinhardt — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:15:48 EDT

Boomp3.com

Normally, a crippling fear of spilling her drink order consumes Grey’s Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo on her daily Starbucks run. Instead, the baristas must’ve assumed that when she used the name, “Ellen” it was a fake name and that her real name is Renee, as in Renee Zelllweger. Pompeo tried to laugh off the case of mistaken identity, but it really got to her. Pompeo confessed, “We’re both awesome and blonde, but that’s it. That’s where the similarities end. We’re nothing alike. Two completely different people.”

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Sad news for all you caffeine addicts out...

Molly Friedman — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:46:21 EST

Sad news for all you caffeine addicts out there: no, not the same old about how you're killing your heart, raising your blood pressure and such. Starbucks is closing! For three very important hours, that is. Today, starting at 5:30pm (peak post-work fueling time!), all 7,100 Starbucks locations will shut down for three hours. Why the oddly timed shutdown? Seems following 600 layoffs announced this week, Howard Schultz needs to infuse his remaining employees with some (very exciting and motivating!) training. But not to worry: rival Dunkin Donuts is offering 99 cent cups from 1 to 10 today. So even if you can't get your usual Venti Vanilla Creme With 3.4 Peppermint Shots and a 1/2 inch layer of whipped cream (low-fat, natch), you can still fake-smile your way through a half-and-half-drenched cup of Rachel Ray's favorite joe. [CNN]

Fox Throws Hands In The Air, Decides It Has No Choice But To Make 'Dallas' As A Comedy

Mark — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:16:03 EDT

· Realizing that no matter what their vision was going in for a long-planned, big-screen adaptation of Dallas, the final result would be hilarious, Regency and 20th Century have finally decided to just give up and officially make it as a comedy. Betty Thomas will direct, and John Travolta will still star as JR Ewing, playing the part in only a slightly bigger fashion as a nod to the project's new direction. [Variety]
· Once again, the DGA refuses to allow For Your Consideration DVD screeners to be sent to members for their yearly awards, forcing guild members to schlep out to screenings to see their peers' work presented as it was intended. [THR]
· Following the less-than-blockbuster results of promotions for movies like Akeelah and the Bee and Arctic Tale, Hollywood is discovering that Starbucks might not be marketing monolith that they'd had hoped it would be. Several studios are now considering scaled-back versions of the failing Starbucks experiment, such as planting paid confederates to sit by the door of The Coffee Bean and loudly shout into a cellphone about how much they loved a partner's movie. [Variety]
· It's about time someone made a RenFair comedy*: Universal buys the Rainn Wilson project Renaissance Man, about two community theater actors who hide out a renaissance fair after thinking they've killed one of their co-stars. (*For real; and no, we don't count that one part in The Cable Guy.) [THR]
· Focus Features accepts the MPAA's NC-17 rating for Ang Lee's erotically charged espionage thriller Lust, Caution for "too many scenes of artsy-fartsy fucking." [Variety]

Starbucks' Next Step In Hollywood Strategy: Bribe Meryl Streep To Read

Seth — Wed, 24 May 2006 16:02:54 EDT

For any parents who have grown weary of fulfilling family quality time commitments by begrudgingly accompanying your kids to movies starring smart-alecky, CGI woodland creatures, Starbucks introduces a brand new way to phone in your love: by having Meryl Streep read to your kids for you, on audiobooks you can conveniently pick up while grabbing your daily latte:

Meryl Streep is narrating a pair of children's classics, "The Velveteen Rabbit" and "The Night Before Christmas," that will be released later this year as audiobooks at Starbucks coffeehouses. [...]
After an initial four-month run at Starbucks, Random House Inc.'s Listening Library will give the recordings a general release.

With their last Hollywood tie-in, Lionsgate's Akeelah and the Bee, having underperformed at the box office, Starbucks is turning to the much safer terrain of time-tested material. Should the children's audiobooks prove to be best sellers, look for the coffee chain to expand their series of "America's most celebrated actors reading books kids already love" to include such titles as Al Pacino is Thumbelina and Sean Penn's gripping reimagining of The Steadfast Tin Soldier as a thinly veiled anti-Iraq war allegory.

Streep to narrate Starbucks audiobooks [Yahoo/AP]