Rickles started strong by immediately slamming Elisabeth Hasselbeck's husband — a strong, unexpected choice! From there, he brushed off Jay Leno's primetime coup ("I don't really care"), dismissed Joy Behar's inattention, and then brought up one of The View's twin They Who Must Not Be Named: Star Jones. An aggrieved Barbara Walters attempted to walk back the Star taunt; insult whomever you want, Mr. Warmth, but the Star Jones criticism is reserved only for Ms. No Hugs.

• The View [ABC]

• The View [ABC]

"Barbara set me up," Jones said about her former boss Barbara Walters. "I wouldn't return her call for six months. Whoopi [Goldberg] came on to do my show and delivered a handwritten note from Barbara. Whoopi said, '[Meet with her] for me.' And I said, 'Out of friendship with you, Whoopi, I will.' Otherwise I would have never sat down with her ever again."

Surely Star wasn't expecting a hug from the notoriously withholding View headmistress? Sorry, Star, but your single-minded fixation on Barbara Walters has blinded you to the surest way to generate headlines on the "Star is Back '08" comeback tour: going after Elisabeth Hasselbeck! Take a cue from Sherri Shepherd and start practicing your "don't go there" finger — you'll be glad you did.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Star Jones: All Brand New And Talking About Past Mistakes And Future Hopes [Black Voices]

We rarely like to take a mental walk down memory lane when it comes to the Most Nauseating Celebrity Hookups of all time, but news of the latest addition has unfortunately led us to revisit the grotesque list. We’ve already seen Liza Minelli and Phantom Of The Plastic Surgery Ward David Gest exchange saliva, Star Jones give Al an awkward lap dance and guiltily pleasured ourselves by witnessing wrinkly charmer Hugh Hefner and his thin lips attach themselves to the Girls Next Door. But after reading about one beach yoga-practicing, SUV-abandoning actor known for generally annoying everyone in Hollywood, and one scratchy-voiced “punk” rock chick known for generally hating everyone in Hollywood playing tongue twister in LA this past Tuesday, we may have a winner. The canoodlers in question, and just how far they went, after the jump:

Yes, sadly but truly, none other than the Pivster and recently divorced singer Pink (whose name makes absolutely no sense anymore considering she is currently Jet Black) were reportedly seen getting "hot and heavy on the dance floor" this week, according to the NY Post. As a source put it, they were "all over each other and dancing really close," which really gives an entirely new meaning to "Hug It Out, Bitch," no?

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

• DANCE PARTNERS [NYP]

"When her lover...told the newswoman she was the oldest woman he had ever been with, she wanted to say - but never did - 'Oh yeah? Well you are the blackest man I have ever been with.'"

While we await the sordid details surrounding the affair Walters is set to share with Oprah on Tuesday, we do finally hear Walters' real feelings regarding previous co-hosts Star Jones and Rosie O'Donnell. As the NYDN reports, Walters was particularly livid "when Jones refused to admit publicly that she had gastric bypass surgery to lose weight [and] her co-workers were forced to lie for her." And as for Rosie, it seems all that tension across the spotless flower-laden table shared by the ladies was just as real as we suspected. As Walters puts it, "The premise of The View is that of a team working together, but for Rosie it was more like Diana Ross and the Supremes, as little by little she took over." And after learning just how saucy Babs has been in the past, it's clear that there's only room for one diva at the table, even if Walters prefers her trademark white-blonde feathered bob to an enormous afro.

• BARBARA WALTERS: I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH MARRIED SENATOR EDWARD BROOKE [NYDN]
• THE VIEW [ABC]

STAR JONES (46) has filed for divorce from husband of three-and-a-half years AL REYNOLDS (39).

The filing took place on March 26 in New York Supreme Court in Manhattan. Starlet M. Jones versus Al S. Reynolds was marked as an "Uncontested Matrimonial" case by the court and the records were sealed.

In a statement released exclusively to Entertainment Tonight, the former View co-host says: "Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life. A month ago I filed for divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone's life that requires privacy with one's thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman."

As tempting as it is for Pollyanna Jones to turn all of this heartache into a refreshing batch of divorceade, the New Star, a persona refined on her short-lived Court TV talk show, would never seek to pair the end of her marriage with crass sponsorships. Much to media and trial-watchers' chagrin, there will therefore be no free samples of Cinnabon, Herbal Essences, and OUT magazine distributed during custody hearings over the fate of the couple's only child, their much fussed-upon maltese, Pinky.

• Star Jones Files For Divorce [ETOnline]

• Star Jones [CourtTV]

Washington: There's a technique called the crack back designed to cut you off at the knees before you can respond to it. Jones: What happens when you do not evade the "crack back?"

Washington: You get hurt. And you're taken out the game—completely. Jones: Did you ever feel in this last year of your life that the "crack back" technique was being used? Washington: Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Fellow ABC shitcannee Jones can certainly identify with falling victim to the deadly and efficient crack back, having herself experienced the equivalent of a five-linebacker full-body tackle with one, withering stare from a betrayed Barbara Walters. If the first show is any indication of the less-than-thrilling things to come, the generically titled Star Jones might want to consider retooling itself into a talk-variety format—Star Jones' Pity Party, where a live studio audience could really liven up the proceedings by injecting sympathetic "awwwww"s to her guests' sulky testimonials.

• Star Jones [CourtTV.com]

Why the delay in speaking up? "First, I didn't know if the surgery would work," she writes in the first-person essay. "I had spent my entire adult life telling everyone that I was fine with the way I looked. I never thought I'd have to explain it.

"But the complete truth is, I was scared of what people might think of me."

"Every day I am learning to let go of my insecurities and acknowledge that I don't have all the answers, which is okay," she writes. Though she still struggles with self-image, she writes that being healthy is what counts. "I'm not saying that in order to be happy, women need to be a certain size, but I am saying that we should all strive to be healthy." [...]

After undergoing her surgery, the Court TV host said she didn't expect so much public scrutiny. So, she says, she sidestepped reports that she had undergone the treatment despite rapidly losing upwards of 160 lbs. over three years.

It's certainly understandable that Star would be surprised at the attention. After all, she was being paid to yap for a living on a high-profile talk show, and she had just staged a lavish, greedy wedding she wouldn't shut up about; given all that, why would anyone wonder how the equivalent of Joy Behar melted off her frame? Still, this column is good for one thing: We can't wait to hear how Rosie eviscerates this through her signature disjointed haiku. May we suggest: "star / surgery made you skinny / but ur still a big fat liar inside / suck it."

• Star Jones: I Had Gastric Bypass Surgery [People.com]

"I wrote an article because I really wanted to go as in-depth as possible about the way I've changed physically over the last 10 years on the air," Reynolds, 45, said recently while promoting her new Court TV (soon to be truTV) talk show. "And I thought that that would be the most effective way to answer everybody's questions." [...]

"I actually like seeing the old pictures because what it says to me is, `You never allow yourself to get there again,'" she told reporters, according to AP Radio News. "It was dangerous to me. Very dangerous. I was killing myself."

The first-person piece will finally answer the question of whether or not the celebrity lawyer resorted to gastric bypass surgery to help her drop the extra pounds—something she's refused to acknowledge until now. Still, maintaining a healthy weight over the long term is a formidable challenge, and Reynolds deserves kudos for successfully adopting her new lifestyle of eating several walnut-sized meals over the course of the day, accompanied by a vigorous Pilates, speed-walking, and belly dancing exercise regimen overseen by husband/stylist/life coach Al Reynolds.

• Star Jones to open up about weight loss [Yahoo/AP]

TVGuide.com: Have you spoken to Barbara Walters or anyone else from The View since you left?

Reynolds: I have not. I haven't spoken to anyone from the show. I sometimes get e-mails from Elisabeth Hasselbeck, but that's because we had a very personal relationship. [...]

TVGuide.com: But are you surprised at the direction it's taken?

Reynolds: If that's what their viewers want, then that's where they needed to go. It's not where I would want it to go. That's why I'm doing [Court TV]. I wanted to return to something that allows me to be back where I'm at home. I'm at home talking about the law. I'm at home talking about issues. There's enough mishegas out there that I don't need to add to it.

There you have it, America: You either have an appetite for inverted lesbians and other assorted mishegas, or you belong to the highly coveted Real Engager psychographic, and your talk show viewing time is worthy of the kind of intellectually challenging and socially responsible topics Jones is sure to cover on her as-yet-untitled new show, on a soon-to-be-rebranded basic cable network near you.

• A New View for Star Jones Reynolds [TV Guide]

The former district attorney-turned-television personality will serve as host and executive editor of a new daytime talk show on Court TV, the cable channel announced Wednesday.

According to MARLENE DANN, executive vice president of Court TV, Star will host a one-hour, live, daily show that will offer a fresh perspective to the day's most talked-about crime and justice stories from the news and pop culture arenas.

"My goal is to inform, empower, educate and entertain viewers. And Court TV is the perfect place to accomplish that mission," said Star in a statement.

There's something that feels almost too right about the return of Court TV's prodigal, legal-analyst daughter to wrest control of the cable network from the clutches of their currently reigning evil queen, Nancy Grace. And while on the surface Star appears virtually unrecognizable from Starlet Jones, that buttoned-down crusader for truth, justice, and the American Way we came to know and love in the early 90s, she now returns to us arguably stronger than ever, having since successfuly triumphed over an elusive search for love, a near-death experience on a plastic surgeon's operating table, and, most impressively, a Barbara Walters-led coup against her livelihood and reputation that would ultimately escalate into a battle for our very souls.

• Star Jones Reynolds Joins Court TV [ET Online]

In today's episode: Kirstie Alley; Tom Hanks; Ben Affleck; Robert Downey Jr.; Tim Meadows; Star Jones; Keanu Reeves; Robert Wagner; Ryan Seacrest; Reese Witherspoon, Amber Valetta and Kirsty Hume; Sidney Poitier; James Woods; Larry Flynt; Ellen Pompeo and Eric Dane; Justin Chambers; Meg white, Devendra Bernhard and Zooey Deschanel; Bryan Singer; Drew Barrymore and Slash; Jason Schwartzman; Rachel McAdams, Robin Tunney, Clea Duvall and Sarah Michelle Gellar; Kirsten Dunst; Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott; Peter Bogdonavich and Henry Winkler; Adrian Grenier; Clay Aiken and Paul Moyer; Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O'Connell, Lance Bass, Reichen Lehmkuhl and Joshua Jackson; Weird Al Yankovic; Donald Faison; Johnny Galecki; Madeleine Stowe and Annabeth Gish; Dyan Cannon; Tucker Carlson; Steve Coogan; Shane West; Gus Van Sant and Casey Affleck; Melissa Rivers; Rebecca De Mornay; Troy Garrity; Richard Kahan; Mayim Bialik; Ashley Madison; Gedde Watanabe; Jason Wahler; Paris Latsis and Laurie Ann Gibson.

· Saturday night (9/30) I went to the ArcLight to see a showing of The Last Kiss with a friend. Kirstie Alley was directly in front of me in line to buy tickets, she looked surprisingly trim and attractive, although her hair had obviously not been washed or brushed in days, which somehow made her appear more normal to me and my friend. She was with three kids, two of which I know are hers and one might have been a friend. Anyway, I swear they took about 45 mins to buy their tickets because they kept changing their minds about which show to see, first she bought 4 tickets to see The Black Dahlia, and then returned them and bought 4 tickets to see The Last King of Scotland, and then returned those to buy 4 tickets to see the Black Dahlia again! Everyone in line was fuming and she never even turned back to apologize or acknowledge that she had held up the line forever!

· Saw Tom Hanks at Tacos Por Favor on Olympic in Santa Monica this afternoon (10/02) with some friends/business buddies. He looked laid back and wore Lee jeans, like a true American. Nobody said anything or interrupted his lunch. I think he had a burrito. And a Diet Coke.

· A group I was with purchased a table at the Empire Ballroom in Vegas 4ish in the morning this past Sunday. Just as we were sitting down, some guy sidesteps me and begins barking orders to the bouncer. Offended, I informed him we had just purchased the table, it was the last open table, and would he please move. He looked up at me, ok so it's Ben Affleck, asked me if I was with some film group, and told me they would get me another table. The convo went back and forth for a bit, but it was I who ended up staying at the table. I'm pretty sure they got him another one.

·Early Saturday morning (9/30), out for a spin, driving west down
Colorado Avenue in Santa Monica when who do I see but the new Iron Man
himself, Robert Downey Jr., out for a walk or something. He did not
respond to my car horn honk.

Monday (9/2), former SNL token black guy and 'Ladies Man' Tim Meadows, doing his best to wear out the treadmill at Gold's Gym in Venice.

· So I was in town for a quick fall shopping trip with a friend from SD and managed to bump into the following:

9/21 - Star Jones shopping on Robertson - being totally stalked by paparrazzi - yikes, must have been a slow day for paps if that's all they could muster up..She looked as you'd expect - kind of a too big head for her figure..No Al in sight...

9/21 - Il Sole for dinner - Keanu Reeves was having dinner near us on the patio, was with a tall blonde - she was kind of "horsy" in the face -it didnt really look like a date..He was on his cell most of the time..but I guess that doesnt mean much..

9/22 - a very waxy looking Robert Wagner on the patio at Orso with Jill St John and some kids in tow - maybe theirs? It was hard to tell.. he looked so plastic it was almost like a caricature of himself. Doris Roberts was there as well having lunch with someone inside..The only reason I caught her was seeing her hair from across the room..

9/23 Hit Sushi Roku on 3rd for a late lunch and Ryan Seacrest was there -trying very hard to look hetero with a pretty, petite (skeletal) blonde. He was super casual in jeans and tee, and big baseball hat pulled very low..After lunch, they left in a black Bentley with new plates..He must be happy to be back from BFE AI auditions..Probably cant' get decent sushi or rent a Bentley in Iowa..

· trifecta of blondes at Barney's today (9-28). A petite Reese Witherspoon and friend buying jeans, along with Amber Valetta doing the same. later, wandering the floor was Kirsty Hume. Wow, tall and gangly. After, did a quick run through Neiman's, alongside of Russell Crowe.

· 9/23 Sidney Poitier walking into Bristol Farms in BH as I walked out with a bag full of French cheese. He looked very stately (but balding) and gave me a strange look, possibly because I had Siouxsie Sioux makeup on for the Totally 80s concert at the Hollywood Bowl.

· 10/1 Saw James Woods and a very young girl walking a tiny dog this morning on Burton Way near the Hermitage Hotel. He was holding the leash and looked at me as I rode by. She looked about 15.

· 9/28 Saw the HUSTLR Rolls in the driveway of the 4 Seasons and the back of Larry Flynt's head. He was in his gold wheelchair as usual.

· Tuesday, September 26th at 1:30 p.m. Driving in Los Feliz. I caught a glimpse of a very Hollywood-looking couple in a black Range Rover two cars behind me. Couldn't see them clearly in the rear view mirror, but the rugged good looks of the guy and the big sunglasses and pouty lips of the girl made me wonder if I was on the verge of a coveted Brad and Angie sighting. I parked and grabbed a table at the Alcove just as the Range Rover pulled up in front. As it turns out, it was Ellen Pompeo and Eric Dane (McSteamy). Ellen looked cute and casual in tight jeans, a sweater and black Converse. She is very thin but not any more so than half of the aspiring actresses in this town. I am happy to report that she enthusiastically ate a decent meal. Eric was strikingly handsome, in spite of the strange facial hair. And despite what my scandal-happy mind hoped for, it seems like Ellen and Eric are just friends/co-workers.

· When taking a walk in my nabe I saw two men (one white dude, one black) with a bunch of African American kids under the age of ten. I recognized Justin Chambers as one of the guys, and knew it had to be him b/c I knew he has a lot of kids — which makes him only hotter in real life. Guess he got out of work early to spend some time with the fam. Good for him.

· Went to the Little Joy, our default Echo Park dive bar, and quickly realized that the shockingly awesome DJing was being done by the expert threesome of Meg White, Devendra Berhard, and Zooey Deschanel. They were all crammed into the tiny DJ booth and having a grand time. Zooey is absolutely stunning and Meg White was actually cracking a smile or two. Devendra looks like a girl. Good times.

· Bryan Singer, Orso, Monday Oct. 2. I wanted to say Superman Returns was a snore, but X-Men 1 and 2 weren't, but I didn't.

· 9/26 - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers / The Strokes show at the Hollywood Bowl. Drew Barrymore (surprise). Out in the parking lot right before Tom Petty's set, Slash and his wife hoofing it through the parking lot. Apparently they didn't spring for valet. Dressed in all black, still rocking that almost wig-like hair. He was shorter than his wife and she had huge boobs.

· 10/1 — While enjoying lunch @ Cafe M on Melrose I had the good fortune of spying comedic leprechaun Jason Schwartzman, who was dining with a very pretty Rachel McAdams look-alike but did not surrender his pot of gold when I tackled him. Also in attendance was Robin Tunney, most recently of Prison Break, who looked great and seemed very friendly.

After a scrumptious lunch I went next door to the new Pinkberry location and there on the meager little patio sat raging lesbian [says my boyfriend] Clea Duvall and none other than former Vampire Slayer herself, the very petite Buffy Anne Summers [Sarah Michelle Gellar]. Maybe they became friends while filming that episode during the first season where Clea turns invisible? Either way, SMG was so tiny I'm going to have a hard time watching her kick monster ass while sitting alone in my parents' basement on Saturday nights from now on...

· Actually, more of a sighting of a sighting. Across the street from Cheebo on Sunset there is a Pavarotti hiding in the driveway snapping photos of Kirsten Dunst. Do they still pay for her? Must be a slow day. Or maybe they get extra points for sightings of "eating" so that next week People can run more articles on stars being too skinny or US can prove that stars are "just like us ... they require sustenance."

· Last Friday night, I saw Tori Spelling and her hubby (Dean McDermott) standing outside of Mr. Cecil's BBQ on Ventura Blvd in Sherman Oaks. Looks like they were waiting for the valet to bring their car around. He was very tall, goodlooking and wore glasses. She was super tiny, cute and was very into texting at the moment. So the rumors are true? Tori is living in the valley and hard up for cash?

· Adrian Grenier in Peet's Coffee in Santa Monica on Sunday (9/24), late afternoon. By himself, looking handsome and disheveled.

· I believe that was Clay Aiken I saw walking back to his car in the Musso's parking lot last night (9/27), but I can't be sure 'cause my ovaries weren't shakin'. I was much more impressed with my Paul Moyer sighting, 'tho I see him about every other time I'm there.

· Henry Winkler celebrating his daughter's birthday at Madeo's on Beverly on 9/25, while Peter Bogdanovich looked on from a neighboring table.

· I was at the Scissor Sisters concert last night waiting in line to get a drink (the wait was up to 30 minutes for a drink, it sucked) when Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell come cutting through and scampering off towards the backstage area. It appeared they were trying to go back stage, they were there for a good ten minutes then came back across the same way (the line had yet to move). They were rushing across and kinda looking down trying to shield their identity but no one really seemed to pay much attention to them, or care.

· 9.28.06 Shrine Expo, Scissor Sisters Concert. Whilst milling about this sorry excuse for a concert venue looking for my faggle, I spotted Rebecca Romijn No longer Stamos weaving through the crowd with the luckiest hetero on the planet, Jerry O'Connell. RR looked amazing—tall, blonde and prettier than you would have imagined. JO'C looked like a typical frat boy with what could best be described as a mullet. Dude needs to get his hair did. The gays around her in the drink line were giddy and all enamored with her fabulousness, obviously more in tune with the sultry looks of RR than Kangaroo Jack's hunkiness. Those gays...so fickle.

· Last night (9/28) at the Scissor Sisters concert, I saw Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl as we were walking in. Reichen did that "reach back for your partner's hand" thing, in a very "he's more than just my financial support - it's also about the heart" kind of way. I nearly teared up, and there wasn't a camera to be seen.

And I also saw Joshua Jackson there, and I'm pretty sure he was wearing the same clothes he was wearing when I saw him Monday outside of Swingers in Santa Monica. He's always sulking around with his hands in his pockets, glaring at everyone for recognition, then daring them to approach him.

· I completely forgot about this, but I saw Weird Al Yankovic at the West Hollywood Post Office. You notice the hair first, then the stooped posture. Then the hideous button up shirt. He looked so absurdly young (wasn't he in his 30's in the 80's?) that I thought it wasn't WAY, until I took a second look. It's him. Woot.

· Was at the Coffee Bean across from the DGA sitting next to a guy being told that his "audition monologue" needed to be more like Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan speeches in "Star Wars" (I shit you not) when Dr. Christopher Turk - Donald Faison - showed up in a bright orange t-shirt and looking straight off the "Scrubs" set - shaved head, small mustache. Completely alone (and on the wrong side of the hill - isn't it a school day?), he glanced around to see if anyone was going to be Weird About A Semi-Sleb Showing Up and then went in and got his drink. As tall in person as you might imagine.

· Johnny Galecki, dining al fresco with two friends at Empress (formerly Sushi on Sunset) on Friday Sep. 29 at about 9 PM. If I were female or gay, I might say he looked hot. Being hetero is so retro these days.

· 9/29. Waiting for a friend at Clementine, spotted MADELEINE STOWE outside and was about to approach and ask her what it was like to play Mischa Barton's mother in "Octane," when a pregnant ANNABETH GISH walked in. Since I saw every episode of "Brotherhood," I was more interested in learning whether the show has been renewed than whether Mischa was a pain-in-the-ass on the set. Annabeth could not have been nicer. We chatted amiably for five minutes, during which I learned her series has been renewed, also that she's giving birth in January.

· At the Grove last night Sunday, 1 October, 6:00pm, Dyan Cannon walking through the Sunday Grove throngs, clutching a tiny red chihuahua.

· Tucker Carlson standing in line to buy a bottle of water at LAX on 9/26

· Went to satisfy a craving for Cornish pasties at Ye Olde Kings Head in Santa Monica on Wednesday and was seated kitty corner from Steve Coogan and another man. I then spent most of the meal trying to explain who he is to my unimpressed dinner companion. He went unnoticed by all and sundry, though he did take a picture with the infatuated waitress. After about an hour he got into a new mustang and roared off before I had to chance to ask about any cracking owl sanctuaries. Ah, well. Next time.

· friday 9/29 - While enjoying an early bird dinner at fred 62 on Vermont with family saw Shane West at an outside table by himself. wearing red shirt and jeans, no sunglasses. we felt bad for him because he was by himself, but as he roared off in a killer vintage camero (dont know the year, im a girl) we didn't feel so sad.

capping off our sighting hat trick, on our way home as we passed tropicale on hillhurst Gus Van Sant followed by Casey Affleck. resisted the urge to tell him "the last kiss" sucked.

· Help I'm a Nobody, Get Me Into her!
Just spotted E! fashionista Melissa Rivers throwing a tennis ball for her dog in Malibu - north of Zuma, south of Villa Brangelina. She was Sunday morning casual in Pink sweats and says hi, introducing us to "Mike" (3/4 Collie, 1/4 random hound), whom she got off the internet after he was found "tied to a tree". All in all, very superfriendly and unassuming, which is a real relief. The last celeb I saw with a dog I here was incredible melting man Mickey Rourke doing tai chi moves for his designer chihuahua.

· Over in Culver City (?!) wife and I walked past a still-kinda-smokin' Rebecca De Mornay with her two kids. Just joshing, I said to my wife "you guys are the almost same age and both have two kids. Why don't YOU look like that? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Needless to say, I will not be having sex anymore in the 2000's.

· Eat Well, East Side, Sunday Sept. 24: Saw Jane Fonda's son Troy Garrity. He was with a pretty woman (she: the went-to-Brown and grew-up-in-the-Cosby-family type) and looked leaner and hotter than I remembered. I don't think he was wearing a cowboy hat, but he has the presence of a man wearing a cowboy hat.

· Here's a C-List sighting, although it's A-List in my personal world. Friday night, 9-22, at Wilson Restaurant in Culver City: Richard Kahan, who plays Marco Pacella of NTAC on "The 4400." You know, he's the guy who dated Diana, who not only has a daughter who can see the future, but a wacky hippie sister with tatoos. He is one snacky computer nerd. And he's from Manitoba - that gets my heart racing, I think. Beats an Edgar Stiles spotting anyday.

· Blossom! Mayim Bialik, at the Brig at the Abbott Kinney Street Festival on 9-24. She looked rather f*&cking hot, which is saying something in that I don't play for her team. We'll just forget that she was guest-starred in "Fat Actress."

· Last night at Casa Vega saw James Woods' kindergartner of an ex-gf (Ashley Myrick/Madison). Chatting the ear off of whoever will listen about "Jimmy this, Jimmy that," her role on Entourage, how the media made up mean stories about her, and her "great genetics." Our waiter looked like Mario Lopez, which -although false- was a more exciting sighting.

· Wednesday night @ dan tana's. Amongst all the aging actors and plastic surgery nightmares I saw Long Duck Dong (Gedde Watanabe) from 16 candles. No more yanky me wanky, the donger needed food.

· Saw Jason Wahler of Laguna Beach and The Hills fame at Toast for brunch today (10/1). Although "J.Wahl" was with two very attractive blond women — sorry L.C., there a dime a dozen in Southern California — he was talking on his cell phone. Perhaps to his criminal defense attorney?

· Monday, September 25 - PARIS LATSIS at TORTINO in WESTWOOD for lunch. Table for two with a middle-aged guy. BoyParis had on sunglasses, looked depressed, and was texting away on his Sidekick. Oh, GirlParis, where are you??? "I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING!"

· 10/1, Burbank Airport: Spotted Laurie Ann Gibson of Honey and Making the Band 3 fame. It was 6am, but Laurie Ann was looking fab in a fuschia sweatsuit, smiling and chatting with her friends. Boom boom kat!

"Our alliance with Star Jones was, by contract, for three years from 2002-2004," the company said in a statement. "The celebrity alliance with Star Jones was successful and contractually ended on a positive note."

As to reports that Star has not been invited to the launch of the new store design this Wednesday, the spokesperson tells ET: "We don't have an official relationship with Star Jones any longer."

A rep for Star responded to the reports with the following statement: "In 2005, after a highly successful four-year relationship with Payless in which Star's line of shoes sold over three million units, the company's new management team decided to move into a non-celebrity endorsing format."

While the flack managed to hit all the right notes—underscoring past successes, categorizing her latest shitcanning as a strategic "move"—we have no doubt the news nevertheless comes as a serious blow to the already humbled personality. And that's to say nothing of husband Al Reynolds, who, when escorting his wife on trips to the factory, could barely contain his enthusiasm as they handed him a duffle bag and told him about their "all the pumps you can carry" policy.

• Payless Drops Star Jones Reynolds [ETOnline]

"He was a really big black guy in a bucket hat," said the mole, who glimpsed Reynolds' gentleman caller on his TV monitor via the building's closed-circuit cameras. [...]

Reynolds' neighbor says that, during daylight hours, Jones' mustachioed hubby is a regular sight around the building - albeit in very informal dress. [...]

"I know Al. I see him in the elevator all the time - in Spandex," the neighbor said, adding that Jones and Reynolds appear to be together "only when they go to parties..." [...]

Last year, he was denied entrance at one Hamptons nightclub after showing up with a gaggle of guys.

Individually, the clues are innocuous enough. But put them together, and you begin to get a shockingly vivid, rainbow-colored portrait of a man leading a double life—particularly when you figure in the the quote from 78-year-old Sylvia Jacobson in apartment 7D, who complained about how she's "always finding a copy of Black Inches addressed to 'Big Al Industries' mistakenly dropped in my mailbox."

• JONES' HUBBY GETS 4 A.M. BUZZ [NY Post]

Star's rep issued the following statement on her behalf:

"These categorically false stories and their continuation are clearly being generated by someone for vindictive reasons alone. [Star Jones and Al Reynolds'] legal representatives have been investigating the source and motivation of these boldfaced lies for some time now and are very close to exposing the individual who has perpetrated them. At which time, appropriate legal action will be taken."

With no income at the moment, we'd probably advise the cost-cutting move of eliminating the $500-an-hour "legal representatives" Jones hired to root out anyone who may have been badmouthing her and/or anticipating the inevitable end of her sham marriage—she'll be bankrupt by the time they've reached the "G"s.

• Star Jones: I'm Not Divorcing [Us Weekly]

Last week Al Reynolds visited the offices of the divorce law firm Blank Rome LLP in New York's Chrysler building. MediaTakeOut.com spoke exclusively with a building employee who first noticed Star's soon-to-be-ex. According to the witness, "Al walked up to the security desk and signed in to visit [one of the Blank Rome's divorce lawyers] Stanford Lotwin." [...]

After remaining upstairs for nearly two hours, Al tried to quietly sneak out of the building. But before he could leave, the witness tells MediaTakeOut.com, "I walked up to him and said 'Al, is that you', and Al ran out of the building - almost knocking over a pregnant woman."

While we'd hesitate to immediately accept the word of the anonymous "building employee," something about the timing does have us concerned. Having a depressed spouse who spends the bulk of her days sitting at the kitchen table, scanning the classifieds for ads that say "EARN $$$ ON THE RED CARPET," would quickly put a strain on any marriage.

• AL REYNOLDS VISITS HIGH-PROFILE DIVORCE LAWYER [MediaTakeOut.com]