1.) Flash Dance
This week on So You Think You Can Dance?, some woman flashed her crotch, and Fox gave her a flesh-colored blur, leading these ABC News correspondents to wonder whether or not she was going commando.

2.) Barbara disses Mariah's boring story on The View.



The interview was preempted for the breaking news that Chicago did not get picked to host the Olympics. When The View returned, Mimi's dog appeared.

3.) This.

4.) Jesus wanted John Phillips to have sex with his daughter.
Because he knew it would help Chynna sell her new album.

5.) Tyra has a knack for discovering people who are really good at being assholes.

6.) Tyra also finally discovered Objectum Sexuals.

7.) Check out this hot ticket on Judge Judy.

8.) So not glitz.

9.) Kim doesn't like anything "cheesy" or "cheap."
So don't let the wig fool you.

10.) NeNe bitches out Lara Spencer.

As many of you pointed out, the dancer was actually wearing flesh-colored briefs under her dress. The network provided photos to the Washington Post's TV Column today, where you can clearly see the underwear. Guess everyone who said a female dancer was too smart to go on a TV show wearing a skirt without any protection was right.

However, the mock scandal was good for ratings. The ratings went up by about two million viewers for the show that aired the day after the news broke. And when the show's ratings are just at 7 million people, they need every pair of eyeballs they can get, even if that means using a transparent pair of undies to get them there.

Last night, when a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance celebrated making it to the next round, she got so excited she fell to the floor, writhing in excitement, and let the camera film up her skirt. Too bad she wasn't wearing any panties. Oopsie!

After the Janet Jackson debacle, where she showed her breast on live television during the Super Bowl halftime show, the reaction was immediate and fierce. After all, bare nipples are the greatest threat to our national order. Well, nipples and gay marriage are close, but nipples always win by a hair. Now there may have been a real live vagina on television, we have no idea what the precedents are. Viacom, the owner of CBS, paid $550,000 for showing first base, how much will Fox have to pony up for the whole infield?

Well, that depends on a few factors:

• Since this was taped television instead of live, did Fox know there was a cooch in the broadcast when it aired? If so, big fine.
• If not, why doesn't Fox have an official person in charge of making sure that no genitalia make it on to television? If they don't, big fine. If they hire one, thus stimulating the economy and our Puritanical sense of decency, then the fine will go down.
• Was this a stunt to get everyone talking about a show whose ratings are off from the summer season. If so, Fox better get out it's wallet. (Also, kudos).
• How many form letters will the Parents Television Council fool people into sending to the FCC? The number is a direct correlation to size of the fine.
• Will Glenn Beck or another cable new yahoo take up the cause? If so, the decibel level of his loudest, sternest scream on the subject multiplied by the square root of pi will be used to determine just how much a vagina on TV will cost.
• How many tween girls were blinded by seeing a woman's nether region on TV? Each one will be awarded $300, or a free pair of tickets to a Miley Cyrus concert (but, you know, the back rows, cause it's not like they can actually see anymore).
• Was the girl in the clip 18? If not, every person who watched it on YouTube will be tracked down by their IP address and thrown into jail for watching child pornography. If not, then it's cool. We're all just pervs.
• Is there an actual vagina on television? Cause if not, well, is that even indecent?

First of all, trying to take New Jersey Transit at 6pm on a Thursday night when there is also a U2 concert at the Meadowlands is like trying to drive out of New Orleans when a hurricane is coming, except instead of dealing with terrified citizens, you're dealing with excited boozers with no musical taste.

Once inside the sterile confines of the Prudential Center we were greeted by a crowd of girls—big girls, small girls, young girls, old girls, quiet girls, and lots and lots of screaming girls. There were a few gays too. The stage looked similar to the one on television, a protruding arch backed by intricate iron work and a few screens. Missing were the giant stairs and the huge metal pillars that Cat Deeley perches atop in a ridiculous getup and purrs "This is So You Think You Can Dance!"

First we get a taped message from grand Gargamel Nigel Lythgoe with some taped segment of last season's best auditions. It is the first of many taped montages throughout the evening. Finally each dancer from the top 10 is introduced (along with bonus Mouseketeers Philip and Caitlin), the girls scream for each one in succession, but louder for the boys and most loudly for Brandon. This is a trend that will continue. Fifth grade teachers across the tri-state area must have had an easy day today with all the quiet, hoarse girls keeping their voices down.

The opening number is a spectacular with everyone in matching outfits. After wowing the crowd with some serious moves, they all introduce themselves—again. It's like Up with People, but brought to you by Fox and a little bit cooler. And then they start talking. There is a reason why this show is not called So You Think You Can Be a Television Presenter. It's not that anyone is especially bad, but the canned comedy bits are so obviously scripted they seem like they were written by Satan himself for the presenters at the 5674th Annual Golden Pitchforks of Hell Awards. It reminds me exactly of You Can't Do That on Television, minus the slime.

The numbers themselves, well, there are no surprises, because you saw them all during the season already. There is the Bollywood one, the disco one, the robbers one, the cancer one, the ballet, the zombies, the one where Jeanine dances on the table with the water. While we knew exactly what to expect, the great thing is that you finally get to see the movement as the choreographer intended, instead of with the intruding eye of the camera. Instead of zipping around the dancers and giving us a forced perspective on the action, your eye is free to absorb everything on the stage at its own pace. It's a much purer form of experiencing dance.

Between each duo we get some more montages, many of them show us the same clips two and three times, but if we've all seen the dance numbers and the costumes again, then why not just keep repeating. Speaking of repeating, each dancer also gets a short solo, as if they're dancing for their lives. This is our least favorite part of the show, both on TV and live. Except for when Philip, the only one to get an extended solo, gets a standing ovation for popping his wobbly little arms off. When there aren't montages, other dancers are on the stage (wearing official SYTYCD apparel, for sale next to the popcorn and hot dog stands) doing the stupid comedy bits and introducing each other.

The only original bit of comedy had to do with Jeanine and bonus Mouseketeer Phillip, who kept trying to barge on stage doing their abysmal Russian folk dance. Based on nothing we think the two are doing it. Anyway, once they successfully damage our retinas in the second act with their dancing doll routine, it becomes the second of two original group dances. It's not as good as the first.

But a strange thing happened, somewhere between the same old solos, the commercial for the new SYTYCD workout video and Gargamel's Dizzy Feet Foundation message (the exact same one we say at the end of last season): we were overcome with intense emotion. Pride at the little dancers for being so talented that they've made it all the way here, joy at seeing them exhibit their obvious talents onstage, happiness that the kids who we cheered and called and texted for were getting to perform before an audience, and awe that they can do those amazing things with their bodies. That is exactly why we watch the show, and to do it with a stadium full of teary-eyed little girls screaming "I love you Brandon," well, that is not something you can get in your living room.

Though we love Paula's slurry antics, the problem with her (and the judging panel as a whole) is that we know exactly what she's going to say before the contestant is even finished butchering their overexposed pop song of the week. Even though Simon Cowell has her back, we can understand why Fox wouldn't want to pay her millions to say "Don't listen to Simon, sweetie. You are a bright light shining from within a blue jay that sings like a butterfly. Now buy my jewelry."

Mary Murphy, on the other hand, is a kook with some cred. Not only did she have a legit dancing career, but her over enthusiasm is saved for the contestants that actually earn it. For those who do less than stellar, she gives them constructively critical remarks.

But when they do well, she is all screams, claps, and laughter while doling out rides on the "Hot Tamale Train." It's kind of like watching a hyena have an orgasm. But funnier. Not only do we love Mary, but we trust her. Paula more like your drunk aunt who you laugh at as she drools on herself in the corner.

We wouldn't change a thing about Paula, and we don't want her as snide as Simon, ridiculous as Randy, or cunty as Kara, but, for heaven's sake, lady, be as critical of the singers as you are in your drug prescriptions.

"After several great years together my last assistant and I have decided to date, thus making a professional relationship a conflict of interest. Be aware that this could be a temporary position if things do not work out between the two of us. All the standard prerequisites apply, positive attitude, promptness, attention to detail, good hygiene and strong fashion sense a MUST."

More gratifying household chores responsibilities — and your guesses as to the aid-boffing boss's identity — follow after the jump.

Of course you'll be expected to perform all the usual call-rolling, filing and calendar coordination duties, but the ideal candidate will have additional tolerance for an even wider range of soul-coarsening degradation:

Other duties that may be asked of you from time to time are:
Personal shopping (i.e. belts)
Cooking- experience with liquidarian preparation preferred but not required
Pet management (I live in a ranch style home in the Hollywood hills so hope you like horses, dogs, and a prize winning show peacock) may be asked of you from time to time but not part of your regular duties

So! We have a belt-wearing liquidarian with a handsome peacock (unless that slyly refers to either an NBC dance show we don't yet know about or... well, never mind). That should be easy enough to suss, right? Help us help you.

• Assistant Needed for High Ranking Staffer on Hit Dance Reality Show [Craigslist via WYBM]

Two dancers in the Top 4 of Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance collapsed at rehearsals Saturday and had to be rushed by ambulance to nearby Cedars Sinai Hospital–just days before the reality series season finale.

“Two went in [Saturday] and so there was no more rehearsals, and today [Sunday] all the rehearsals were called off,” ballroom expert and SYTYCD judge Mary Murphy confirmed to PEOPLE at Fox’s 2008 Teen Choice Awards in L.A. on Sunday. “The kids are completely dehydrated – two of them. I’m sure they’re doing a lot of blood work to see if there’s anything else.”

Our hearts and prayers go out to these hard-working young hoofers, for whom winning would mean just about everything—in Twitch's case, perhaps even allowing the talented hip-hop dancer inside a Broadway theater, instead of just spinning around on a piece of cardboard outside one, as Lythgoe once so aptly put it. We'd hate to see their desperate need to board the Hot Tamale Train result in a one-way ticket on the Danced-To-Death Express.

• Two of the Top 4 SYTYCD Contestants Hospitalized [People]

*We define "greatest" here to mean most offensive, unsettling, and just flat-out bizarre. [SYTYCD]

• WATCH VIDEO

• So You Think You Can Dance [Fox]

• 'So You Think You Can Dance' poised for finale [LAT]
• Danny Tidwell of Denise Wall's Dance Energy [YouTube]

• Suit Claims CAA Helped Steal Fox's 'Dance' [THR ESQ]