Gawker: defamer, smart people

Sarah Jessica Parker Does Not Want To Talk About Sex, Baby

Molly Friedman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:55:00 EDT

We were always a bit confused when Sarah Jessica Parker touted her no-nudity clause throughout all six seasons of Sex And The City, considering how often her character would appear in three-inch long skirts and see-through tops that left nothing to the imagination. Despite being the only actress out of the four leads who never technically revealed any T&A, we still walked away from the show with a near-perfect idea (unfortunately) of what SJP looks like naked. So why break out in a rash and put on earmuffs at the very mention of the word "sex," a word that's come to define her entire career, in this clip from last night's Conan?

When we heard the Smart People star uncomfortably discussing how incredibly uncomfortable "intimate" talk and even hearing the word "sex" spoken aloud makes her, our confusion overwhelmed us yet again. How could someone so prim and proper have spent years chatting about blow jobs and even more years dating someone like Robert Downey Jr.? She doesn't like "the tone" or "the subject" of conversations involving sex? Learning that the executive producer and star of the HBO show would never even watch it hardly increases our appreciation for a program whose legend is based around the open dialogue it created for women to air their opinions about the "vulgar"ities of intimacy. Are we the only ones?

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN [NBC]

Which Young Actress (Cough, Ellen Page, Cough) Dared To Blow Off The Advances Of Jane Fonda?

Molly Friedman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:50:00 EDT

Oh Ellen Page. First you send your "power lesbian" publicist into a tizzy defending your heterosexual honor, then you make a fool out of poor Jay Leno in his own house of belly laughs. Have you really moved on to shun the potty-mouthed legend that is Jane Fonda? One stripper-scripted indie hit on your resume does not entitle you to divadom quite yet. In a scathing NY Daily News blind item today, a "rising young actress" is reported to have brushed off Fonda's desire to meet her at a party with a curse-laden remark, and as our detective skills suggest after the jump, all signs point to Page as the catty star in question.

UPDATE (2:55pm): Ellen Page's "power lesbian" publicist Kelly Bush (#50 on Out Magazine's Power 50) responds! Full response after the jump.

The full item is as follows:

"Which rising young actress was informed at a recent film party that Jane Fonda wanted to meet her? 'I don't give a [bleep],' came the jaded response."

So we went ahead and researched what Jane Fonda has been up to lately, aside from dropping the C-word on morning television. And when it comes to film parties, only one event lies prominently on her recent social calendar: a New York screening of Page's film Smart People, which Page attended in one of her trademark black bores of a dress. Taking into account the item appears in a column written by a NY party-hopping columnist, plus the ease with which we can imagine Ellen not giving an eff who wants to meet her, Page is number one on our list of suspects. And while we might not necessarily wet our pants at the prospect of meeting Jane in person, we'd still make sure not to voice our opinions in the vicinity of gossip columnists. A lesson both 30 Rocks's Liz Lemon and Ellen might want to relearn.

UPDATE (2:55pm): Here's the response that came from Ellen Page's publicist, Kelly Bush:

Ellen had a lovely conversation with Jane Fonda at the "Smart People" party. Jane was telling her about the upcoming V-Day event in New Orleans. Ellen was not able to attend since she is in pre-production on her next two films. She has requested I get her more information about the work Jane and Eve Ensler are doing so she can help in some way. We have several other clients in New Orleans right now including Jennifer Hudson and Salma Hayek. I am sure it is going to be an amazing event.

NEW YORK MINUTE [Gatecrasher]

Ellen Page Mans Up On Leno, Forcing Jay To Actually Come Up With A Few Of His Own Jokes

Molly Friedman — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Despite her "power lesbian" publicist vehemently lashing out against all those pesky lesbian rumors, Ellen Page still has her work cut out for her when it comes to convincing us she doesn't (even on occasion) prefer girls. The Smart People star appeared on Leno last night to obediently promote the film, and even though Page got slightly more gussied up than usual in a tight-ish dress and heels, her inability to cross those legs comfortably coupled with an imitation of what someone looks like "lifting weights in the sunshine" did little to disspell our suspicions.

We will leave the decision up to you, the educated Defamer reader, to decide whether or not Page's brevity in conversation and pleasure in killing cows means she wants to hug another woman with her legs in friendship. Us, we're more disappointed in her too-cool-for-school attitude and reluctance play along when Jay lobbed a few "So! What kind of tourist-y things do you do here in LA!" jokes at her (mostly involving dinosaurs, tar pits, and dinosaurs in tar pits). Not to mention yet another wisecrack about how Kev was voted Sexiest Vegetarian a thousand years ago. No Tonight Show guest, no matter how above it all, can be forgiven for allowing Jay to speak or think on his own for that long.

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO [NBC]

Anyone who saw his appearance on Ellen today...

Paula Dixon — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:30:00 EDT

Anyone who saw his appearance on Ellen today knows that Thomas Haden Church is a real laugh riot. Just ask Thomas Haden Church. His favorite joke? Showing his dick to people. After flashing his junk on the set of Sideways — not exactly the indie version of Porky's — the numbnuts mechanic from Wings decided the best way to keep his second chance at success going was to flash another cast and crew. On the set of his new film Smart People (which, judging from the preview, looks too dumb for smart people and too boring for dumb people) Church once again showed off his junk. "Dennis and the cameraman enjoyed that... Dennis whirled in disgust and left the set." Perhaps it is the belief that a successful joke clears the room which makes Church leave his "sticky fruits flopping around" all the time. Or maybe a better explanation can be found in the actor's own initials, THC. We're just saying... [Contact Music]