1. Padma and the Hendersons
Padma has reinvented herself from foodie to zombie in the past year. Her natural next step is a Harry & the Hendersons-esque comedy about a regular Midwestern family who adopts the Padma zombie. At first the Hendersons want to keep zombie Padma a secret but eventually the public finds out and embraces her. Through the course of the show Padma zombie discovers how to balance a high-profile life full of exhibition, scientific studies, and her human family.

2. Put the Love in the Basket
Anxious for a new roomie, Buffalo Bill (the wang-tucking serial killer from Silence of the Lambs) puts an ad on Craigslist. The ad says that all applicants must be female and a size 14. When slender, quirky, vegetarian chef named Grace, played by Padma, shows up on his doorstep Bill is skeptical. But her love of sewing and small dogs charms Bill into letting her stay. The two learn about love, health, and knife work in this apartment based comedy.

3. Fools Rushdie In
Any kind of a reality show in the style of Newlyweds or the Osbournes. She and Salman get back together!

4. Scrubbing the Grey House
Padma would star in a medical drama that would be based on a mash up on the other successful medical dramas out. Under the cruel tutelage of a sadistic but brilliant surgeon (played by Anthony Bourdain) Padma would learn that fate is indifferent and you can only find meaning in the relationships around you. And in opiates.

5. Hamburger Paddy: The Burger Queen
Paddy, a successful super-model has it all — but she craves even more! Paddy wants a movie deal. But no matter how many acting classes she takes Paddy only gets cast in fast food commercials. How will Paddy over come her deficits as an unpalatable woman of negligible talent and outsized ambition? Will she be able to keep her weight down and her spirits up as the Hollywood drive through scene chews her up and spits her out? Stay Tuned!

Variety puts its comforting hand on our shoulder and reports that, there there, nothing is so bad after all. The Tina Fey tour de force is earning about 7.7 million viewers a week, up about 21% from last season. It's also hitting demo sweet spots, as most of its viewers are between 18-49, with nice growth in the lower (and more valuable) end of the spectrum.

The crazy thing about these sitcom-starved times is that those numbers, which would never really be considered high, make it the seventh most popular comedy on television right now. In the heady days of the power Tuesday and Must See TV Thursday sitcom blocks, an average of 7.7 million viewers would put a series significantly lower on the laffs totem pole. Lower even, for 1995-1996, than something called Can't Hurry Love, which starred Scott Baio.

Ah well. Now isn't the time for negativity. 30 Rock is a success, and has managed to still be consistently funny, so at least, if nothing else, we have that.

"It may have worked for us because people kinda left us alone," the 41-year-old actor said in a recent conference call.

"You know, when they tapped us on the shoulder and we looked up, it was nine years later. We never really were that shiny show, but we're a simple show—and that's something that I'm proud of."

James is, of course, merely being modest. He knows that the secret to KoQ's survival was rooted in its savvy, "fat guy falls down" twist on CBS's "schlubby husband with long-suffering, inappropriately hot wife " formula, which clearly distinguished it from interchangeable offerings like Still Standing (one fat guy, no falling down) and Yes, Dear (two schlubby husbands, two hot wives) when it came time to decide which show would survive the network's annual sitcom culling.

• Kevin James Proud to Be on `Simple Show' [Breibart]

"The time has come for these sorts of sitcoms on Russian television; viewers enjoy the humor, and they are shows all the family can watch and relax with," says Mileshin, a large, affable and bearded man. "We think the initial 50 episodes will be extended — there are options to continue in chunks of 26 — because its already getting the ratings and is popular with viewers."

But Mileshin is at pains to emphasis how different the Russian version is. "We've kept the essence — the dramaturgy — but some 70% of the episodes have been completely rewritten," he says. "Russian audiences don't understand American jokes, and a lot of detail needed to be changed. But Hollywood is the world's master factory for television, and we can learn a lot from each other," he says, adding that WBITV executives were "intrigued" by the Russian approach to fine-tuning the show.

THR further notes that Warner Bros., emboldened by the Russians' speedy mastery of the 1980s half-hour form, already have plans to adapt other shows, including Suddenly Susan, Step By Step, and Full House (tentative titles: She-Writer Love Quest, The Long March Of Comedy, and Merry Widower Mansion), confident that their eager foreign counterparts are ready to handle the rigors of the more advanced sitcom formats of the 1990s.

• Perfecting 'Strangers' with a Russian twist [THR]

"Generally our eating habits are awful," says Chris Harris, who writes for "How I Met Your Mother" on CBS. He passed along a recent industry story: "The staff of 'Joey' apparently weighed themselves at the beginning of what turned out to be a grueling season and then again at the end. The net gain was around 125 pounds — more than what their lead actress weighed."

The Joey writers' collective gain of an entire actress's weight might sound impressive, but actually represents the result of the group's failure to complete a binge-eating suicide pact planned for the series' final days. As cancellation loomed, they'd hoped to have their bodies, stomachs distended by fatal doses of Brownie Bites and Hot Pockets, discovered in the Room after what would be their last rewrite session, beneath a message scrawled on the whiteboard explaining their tragic inability to address their latest set of network notes: "We fucking give up. There is no way to make LeBlanc funny without Chandler." In the end, though, they decided to go with a course of action that produced a far less dramatic anecdote about how fat and miserable the show made them.

• The Way We Eat: Cue Snack Track [NYT Magazine]

Fox Broadcasting Co. is developing a comedy script with comedienne Margaret Cho, who unhappily starred in the short-lived sitcom All-American Girl on ABC in 1994-95.

The ethnic, multigenerational family comedy is said to involve a character based on Cho's mother that she has made a fixture of her stand-up routine.

"I'm very excited about this project because, finally, I get to become my mother," said Cho, who would also executive produce with Just Shoot Me writer Susan Dickes.

Cho describes the harrowing experience with All-American Girl in her concert film I'm the One That I Want, alleging that ABC pressured her to lose so much weight that it triggered kidney failure.

While Fox executives have assured Cho that they will steer clear of any notes involving the comedian's physical appearance, they did retain the right to all final casting decisions. A memo circulated earlier in the week informed producers that while Cho has been approved as the mother character, the part of 'Margaret Cho' herself should be played by "Dakota Fanning, or a Dakota Fanning-type."

• Cho turns to mom for Fox comedy script [Reuters/THR]
• Previously: Defamer Casting: Dakota Can Do Anything [Defamer]