OK—let's try:

Remember Heavier Than Heaven, the Kurt/Courtney biopic that Love mentioned would be a perfect fit for Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Gosling (later amended to James McAvoy)? It's co-produced by Reveille Motion Pictures—i.e. Ben Silverman's production company—making it perfectly feasible that the two might dine together in Santa Monica Canyon to discuss the project without raising eyebrows or starting rumors that Ben has tapped the Kardashian nemesis and Kelly Ripa-hater to star opposite Rob Lowe in NBC's misguided revival of Hart to Hart.

[Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

She was met at the gate by a couple fanboys with merch to sign, which she did, with a smile. I've attached photographic evidence. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

In today's episode: Quentin Tarantino; Keanu Reeves; Michael Rapaport; Giovanni Ribisi; Ray Liotta; Peter Berg and Henry Winkler; Chris Noth; Anthony Kiedis; Billy Baldwin; Dina Meyer; and Brad Beyer.

· Saturday, 3/23
Quentin Tarantino was downing something fruity with one of those dragon stirrers in it at Good Luck. He was with a couple of completely average looking (you know, pretty but not Hollywood pretty) women and was bigger (both lengthwise and widthwise) than I would have thought. The indie bartenders were all atwitter...and probably actually on Twitter.

· 1. Sunday March 16th. Michael Rapaport at Fred Siegel on Melrose. Sitting at the entrance of the restaurant starring into space or at everyone who enters. Very rabid and intense looking. Aggressively picking his teeth. One shoe dangling off of his foot. Prominent bald spot.

2. Wednesday March 19th. Keanu Reeves at Locanda Veneta West 3rd dining with 3 women. One woman looked very similar to Parker Posey, perhaps it was? Very discreet, he sat facing away from entrance.

3. Thursday March 20th. Giovanni Ribisi at Long's Drugs across from the Beverly Center. The extremely skinny Scientologist with very tight jeans had finished his purchases at the check out and then turned his full cart around and went back into the store and came back to the cashier with epsom salts and box of Magnum Condoms [Ed.: Ahem].

· Ray Liotta was right next to me at Gold's Gym in Venice yesterday March 20th on the chest machine. The guy has had a lot of work done.

· Two interesting celebrities dining at Pizzeria Mozza Saturday late lunch/early dinner: Peter Berg, dining with a lovely lady and Henry Winkler, seemingly with family.

· It's a biggie! Who has gotten a tan, touched up his roots and is looking a whole lot better? Mr Big himself, Chris Noth. Spotted on Sunset Blvd & Horn Ave, across from the old Tower Records and Spago in a white t-shirt and blue sweatpants. Looks like he's been working out. Still has a belly, but it looks OK in that high school gym teacher way. Nice meaty ass too! I'd say he looks powerful.

· March 18 - So I'm pretty sure I just saw Anthony Kiedis mad riding a skateboard on the lumpy, snaggy, uneven sidewalk down Sunset in Silverlake, (like slaloming!), with baby in his arms. Mama was walking behind.

· sunday (3/24) on the starbucks patio in beverly hills (s. beverly drive) i was sitting next to william 'billy' baldwin (and cute daughter). he was wearing a funny hat and plaid pants. i really enjoyed his work in backdraft.

· I've seen the ubiquitous Dina Meyer with her ever present "galpal" THREE times in 3 days. One woman you don't see for years unless she's dying on-screen but lately she's everywhere (at least in Santa Monica)! Late Sunday night she was with her galpal at Bob's Market on Ocean Park buying wine and cheese. Then saw her Monday just on 6pm at It's a Grind on SaMo & 6th, they were crammed in a corner sipping lattes and reading what looked like a script together. Then again yesterday (Tues) she was gassing up the must-have celeb vehicle - silver Prius at Shell on Lincoln & Pico with same friend again. Don't mind running into her at all - she's aging very nicely!

· Friday, 3-21-08, 1:30pm: Brad Beyer, the tall and handsome blonde and blue-eyed stoic farmer from "Jericho," on Santa Monica Main Street, wearing his trademark aviators. HOTTTT!!!! Didn't Les Moonves just dink this show? f so, that would explain the Chenbot looking female who beaned him with a 2 lb pound bag of peanuts thrown from her Mercedes convertible right at the time of this sighting..

In today's episode: Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore; Al Pacino; Albert Brooks; Matthew Modine; Richard Lewis; Stephen Hawking; Orlando Bloom; Kate Walsh and Eva Mendes; Giovani Ribisi and Andy Samberg; Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen; Paul Bettany; Peter Berg, Minka Kelly, and Jason Lee; John Cho; Ginnifer Goodwin; Christian Siriano; Vanessa Paradis; Mary McDonnell; Reggie Bush; Jason Taylor; Chris Parnell; and Joel Madden.

· Cameron Diaz tripped up the bleacher steps at the LA Derby Dolls: Sirens vs. Fight Crew match Saturday 3/15 around 8pm in Historic Philipinotown (Temple and Westlake). Shr laughed it off as Drew Barrymore helped her up. They were in a group of 5-10 people and left about 3 minutes before the end of the 4th quarter. Rumor has it that Drew Barrymore is filming a Roller Derby-related movie.

· 3/14 - On my way out of the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly Hills during the early morning rush, I passed Matthew Modine. He was looking good, almost like he'd been frozen in the early '90s. A few blocks away at lunch time, I stood next to Albert Brooks at a street corner. He smiled at me. I enjoyed our little moment.

· 3/16 - I was walking toward a crowd that seemed to be gathered outside the garage next to the Crate and Barrel on Beverly in Beverly Hills. As I got closer, the crowd parted and out stepped a jovial Al Pacino and his little boy (sans twin girl). They were chatting it up and looked to be having quite the father/son day. Pacino was dressed in his trademark head to toe black ensemble.

· 3/20 - Driving past the Peninsula Hotel just after lunch time, I caught Larry David's arch nemesis/best bud Richard Lewis. In typical Richard Lewis fashion, he looked like he had enough of this life and appeared to be mumbling to himself.

· Saturday, March 15 - 9:30PM Stephen Hawking
Heading to Madre's in Pasadena after the Roller Derby (go Kung Pao Tina!), we were resigned to the fact Ms. Lopez's restaurant's time may had passed and we certainly didn't expect to see Mamma J-Lo herself. Needless to say, you could have pushed the lesbian, the homo and the straight girl over with a friggin feather when none other than quantum gravity father Stephen Hawking was sitting front and center at a table behind the hostess stand. As he was being wheeled back from the bathroom (no pictures of that as we do have some level of decorum/were blocked by his "assistant'), he was nice enough to stop and "chat" with several young admirers; with each compliment he kindly hit the "THANKS" button on his wheelchair-mounted computer, which meant a spooky robot-like voice echoed and bounced around the shabby-chic decor.

· Orlando Bloom at the SGI-USA Buddhist Youth Conference at El Camino College in Torrance on Sunday, March 16th. He ducked out during the closing statements and went backstage to greet the youth performers, where he told them that they were inspiring to him.

· March 14th- I saw Seth Rogen this afternoon at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. He was with a girl I assume was his girlfriend.

· 3/16/08 A friend and I were wearing out our Sunday brunch welcome at Dusty's in Silverlake when in walks Kate Walsh with a friend. I was stunned that she looked normal, yes still skinny, but not so skinny I wanted to force feed her lard. She then sat down near us and I had to field my friend's repeated inquires as to what she was eating. She ate Eggs Benedict, but I told my friend it was steamed puppies. That shut her up. Somehow we outlasted Kate and ended up catching Eva Mendes for the lunch rush. She looked tres relaxed and her body was bangin' despite wearing unfortunate/unflattering but very "in" high-waisted pants. Dark, face engulfing shades, per Hollywood norm, were worn by both ladies.

· Wed March 19 - 10ish Osteria Mozza...Giovani Ribisi, who appears to be shrinking every time I see him (or maybe I'm eating too much Mozza pasta), and Andy Samberg at a table of four. I wanted to tell him I gave my girlfriend a dick in a box for Christmas and she dumped be 72 hours later, but I didn't.

· Just saw Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the Sunday morning Ojai farmers market. You'd notice him whether he was or wasn't famous because he's really tall and has a glowing shock of white hair. Mary Steenburgen looks more like the average Ojai matron — attractive, thin and not weirdly deformed like the plastic surgery veterans. They both had that fearful/wary/annoyed look stars do when they're out in public and they think people might approach. It must suck to have to be that defensive all the time.

· Paul Bettany at the Four Seasons cafe (3/16) late Sunday afternoon. Very tall, very pale, very cute. Winked at me the second time I spotted him in the lobby. Jennifer Connolly may have an appalling dress sense, but she's a lucky girl to have him.

· Last night, at the Wiltern, the Explosions in the Sky show: Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg, in a group with but not "with" with Minka Kelly, aka Lyla Garrity. At one silent point of the show some dude shouted "GO PANTHERS!" and Lyla said "That's awesome!" and high-fived with Berg. Also there: Jason Lee, sporting full Earl mustache, checking me out while smoking outside :)

· Friday, 3/14: A very tall John Cho sighted on Virgin America flight from LAX to SFO. Was wearing a bandage around his wrist. Accompanied by white CAA flack. Overheard him conversing about what to ask Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors. Put on sunglasses when about to board, and then sat unobtrusively in first class. Heard others refer to him as "Harold! He's so cute!"

· Diminutive (aren't they all?) Ginnifer Goodwin came in for a late dinner at AOC Wednesday night. She was with a small group of folks, was seated at her table as the restaurant was clearing out around 10ish (another reminder of what an early town L.A. truly is), and carried a fucking awesome Miu Miu harlequin handbag that I totally covet.

· 3/14/08: Supertrannyhotmessferociafiercenessfromtransylvania Project Runway winner Christian Siriano at Popstarz in Weho. He was very tiny — Precious Moments sized — and very sweet allowing all the gheys to take pics with him. There was one overzealous girl who looked like she was going to crush his hollow bird bones with her 98-pounds of huggy grip.

· 3/15/08: BevCen Heritage 1981 — gotta love discount trendy clothes made of asbestos fibers, yo — Vanessa Paradis and spawns of Johnny Depp. She was with a nanny type and stuck at the chola-manned checkout forever (XXI). Nobody seemed to know who she was. The ParaDepp kiddos are superadorable and well behaved. Vanny looked like a beat-down Keri Russell, but we know the sultry songstress can clean up real purdy and stuff, like face of Chanel purdy.

· Wednesday, 3-19-08, 8:30pm or so: OMG, the only and only but only somewhat awesome Mary "Battlestar Galactica" McDonnell, at LAX, at where else, but the fucking Aadmirals Club, Terminal 4, because we know why we fly. The starship she captains was not parked at any gate, so maybe she was just slumming at a fancy airport bar? The gal has big tits, but I'd still rather see one of those randy handsome young Battlestar fighter pilots. Oh well, next trip maybe.

· 10:55 AM, Friday 21 March USC Heisman trophy winner Reggie Bush sits with a woman sporting long straight black hair (who is not Kim Kardashian - BOOH!!) at an outdoor table at Jinky's on Sunset. No baseball hat, no sunglasses, white t-shirt, black track pants, sneakers. He eats some sort of meat that still has bones attached or inside (ribs or wings family). He orders a second meal, a sandwich, but when it comes he sends it back. It reappaears in a to-go box. A random tall white guy approaches him and starts blabbering about some pizza place he is opening. Reggie looks uncomfortable. Pizza man shuffles off. Reggie splits the check dutch with his dining companion. Reggie drives off in a low riding silver sports car with spoilers that leave no ground clearance. It is an unlogo'ed make that we have never seen before with tinted windows - but it looks like what a young millionaire athlete should drive. He also heads westbound down sunset. [Relegate this to Deadspin? The Dustbin?]

· I saw Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins pulling out of the Hollywood CBS Television complex on Sunday evening (March 17th), in his white Bentley convertible with Florida plates. He was talking to someone on his cell and had a big smile on his face. Maybe he just cut a TV deal is giving up football for good?

· Ex-Narnia rapper Chris Parnell noshing with the rest of the lowlifes at Canter's on a Tuesday night (3/11). Chatting with a female friend, looked platonic. Couldn't see his plate to see if he ordered one of their deliciously spongy Monte Cristos. Seriously, best thing on the menu.

· sat march 15th. noon. joel madden just walked into the Armenian starbucks in glendale on pacific and burchett. he's totally blinged out and wearing that little black hat. talking on his phone. Looks like he pulled up in a black mercedes suv. no nicole or harlow in sight. :-(

In today's episode: Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon, and Jamie Lee Curtis; Michael Douglas and Michelle Rodriguez; Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor; Mark McGrath; Dustin Hoffman; Billy Joel; Romany Malco; Joseph Gordon-Levitt; Dennis Rodman; Zachary Quinto; John Legend; Danny Masterson; Dina Meyer; Louie Anderson; Robert Wisdom; Jocelyn Wildenstein; Jim Jones; and Constantine Maroulis.

· March 12th, lunchtime. On my inaugural visit to Mozza on Highland and Melrose, I spotted a gaggle of celebs while stuffing my face with their signature pizza. Up from a table rose lanky Jamie Lee Curtis, wearing all blacks and greys and her signature spunky haircut. As my eyes traveled down to resume pizza-eating, I noticed two of the four sitting at the table that I presume she was sitting at - of all folks, Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon. JG was scruffy and terribly attractive, much more so in person than I expected, and stared at RW adoringly, snapping a few candids of her throughout the lunch with his digital camera. Cute couple.

· Michael Douglas inciting a near-riot among the 15 (I counted) paparazzi camped in front of Il Sole on Sat night (3/8). No sign of his 38-year old wife. Michelle Rodriguez was there too but I'm pretty sure we've all stopped caring about her.

· Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor dining at Katsuya in Studio City on Friday, 03/07. They were with another couple.

03/07 - Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray at Hotel Figueroa in downtown LA.

· 2/9- Billy Joel at the Village Idiot on Melrose... low key in requisite celeb-staple baseball hat squeezed into a booth with industry types. took a second to decide it was really him, until it dawned on my group that the Grammy's were indeed the next day.

· 2/27- Romany Malco of 40 Year-Old virgin and Weeds fame at the Grove. Had to do a quick double take considering the 'wow he's not much taller than me' surprise that 90% of privacywatches seem to recognize. Hugging a girlfriend type and quite handsome in a t-shirt and jeans.

· 3/8- Dustin Hoffman walking down the insufferably crowded 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica arm and arm with wife (I assume?). Seemed to be enjoying the beautiful evening despite the sea of humanity. Looks exactly like he does on film with a well-deserved and friendly 'it's good to be me!' grin.

· Joseph Gordon Levitt at the Rufus Wainwright show at USC on Wednesday (3/5). He was up in the balcony with us common folk, he looked like a cute hipster in glasses, striped sweater and an Obama 08 pin, he seemed to be really enjoying the show. Rufus was amazing as usual, he dedicated one song to Heath Ledger, which made me think of how adorable he and JGL were in 10 Things I Hate About You.

· march 1st... dennis rodman walking into koi wasted... a few drinks later, he got kicked out for shoving a kid at a birthday dinner one table over from him...

· Stardage 2008-03-08 Silver Lake Star System
spotted the rebooted Spock (and everyone's faves super villain, Seiler), Zachary Quinto, leaving the gayster hangout, Akbar. he was usual hot self, but was sporting the vulcan eyebrows. Also saw Jesse Tyler Ferguson of the me sitcom, The Class. i'm a sucker for cute redheads, what can i say

· 1ish on Saturday night. John Legend with a toffee-skinned model at the In and Out on Sunset and Orange. Took pictures and signed autographs for a mob of film school types.

· Danny Masterson at the Coffee Bean on Sunset Blvd, but not the one by the DGA building. Very nice to the staff and handed a drink off to a
mysterious individual in his Range Rover. (march 12)

· Last night (03/09) I was standing in line at the ticket window buying tix to Married Life at the Monica 4-Plex (Santa Monica) and caught my husband checking out a hottie in front of us. When she turned around after getting her tickets I realized it was none other than Starship Trooper, Dina Meyer! I was shocked and said "it's Dizzy Flores" a bit too loud. She gave me a smile and nod of acknowledgment (I guess she gets that a lot!) as she wandered into the theater with a female friend who rudely laughed in my face (and looked exactly like Camryn Manheim, but wasn't). She's not as tall as she looks on screen and was looking a bit glassy-eyed and pale but still very striking. And she was sporting long wavy dark hair too. No sign of those frizzy dizzy curls!

· On my way to the car rental desk at the Burbank Airport on 3/7 I notice a familiar face talking on his cellphone, dressed in clothes too heavy for the weather and looking rather slept in. I know he's a comedian but I can't come up with the name of this rather heavy man with a gap in his front teeth. Using those descriptors as my Google reference didn't help, but then I remembered Family Feud and I realized I had seen Louie Anderson. And sadly, he was my only celebrating sighting on my short visit.

· On Saturday, March 8, saw everyone's favorite cat woman, Jocelyn Wildenstein, at The Ivy. I guess what was so remarkable, well, other than THAT, was her ginormous boobs. I mean, the pics always just show her face. But, she was standing there, with what I assumed was her boyfriend, looking like she could release the hounds at any minute. It was a rather fascinating site as the tourists weren't quite sure what to make of this special occasion. The only thing that could possible top that was if Angelyne popped out of her pink Corvette and challenged JW to a cat fight. Sunday was much more tame. Had beers, and a pretty in depth political discussion, with Robert Wisdom at the Village Idiot. Who is that you ask? Major "Bunny" Colvin from The Wire. I guess what made it so remarkable was that the end of the series was about to air in a few hours and he was just throwing back a few pints on Melrose. I hate to say it, but a really nice guy and a lucid thinker.

· Rapper Jim Jones getting his swoll on at Equinox West Hollywood. Balllllllllllin'!

· Went bowling Friday afternoon (3/7) with the coworkers at Pinz in Studio City and spotted Constantine Maroulis bowling with a blonde chick, older guy with stringy hair, and a kid who looked to be in his early teens. Odd group. They were just starting to bowl as we walked out so the most I saw was his first shot down the alley... he was using a hot pink ball.

In today's episode: Bruce Willis; Kiefer Sutherland; Kris Kristofferson; Elizabeth Berkly; Owen Wilson; Matt Dillon; Naveen Andrews; Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann; Rashida Jones; Amanda Peet and David Benioff; Keri Russell; BJ Novak; Nicole Richie and Joel Madden; Brian Grazer; Brad Grey; Ian Ziering; Valerie Bertinelli; Grant Show; Udo Keir; Travis Barker; Jason Bantha; Jorja Fox; Eric Wareheim; Sara Rue and Glenn Morshower; and Joey Buttafuoco.

· Bruce Willis shopping at John Varvartos on Melrose wearing a lavender sweater on Saturday March 1st.

· Last Friday - Kris Kristofferson in the New Zealand Air/Virgin lounge form LAX to London. No matter how old that guy is he always looks the same. I looked up at him as he came out of the bathroom and he smiled and did a little hat tilt at me...I felt a bit awkward and in no way attracted to him.

· Yesterday - Virgin Atlantic lounge at Heathrow and upper class on Virgin was our favorite world savior - Kiefer Sutherland. Actually looked quite good, thin and euro in jacket, tie, scarf and sunglasses. Probably the first time I've considered him sexy. He sat where everyone could see him but no one would talk to him in the lounge. Sadly, he slept most of the flight and didn't attack anyone.

· And finally, the best sighting ever - Nomi Malone, aka Jessi Spano, aka Elizabeth Berkly at Bodyfactory near the Arclight. I was behind her in line and hear a voice that was strangely familiar and loud asking if there was any lactose in the shake because she is lactose intolerant. I almost peed my gym shorts with excitement when I noticed it was Nomi. Showgirls is probably the greatest film of all time (and my favorite)...sadly, she caught me texting my friends and looking at her like 10 times. I genuinely wanted to ask for a picture but thought she'd get all Nomi on me. She's really tall and quite gorgeous.

· Feb 29 - Owen Wilson was spotted looking at art today with his dog, Garcia, at Regen Projects, where he looked at Raymond Pettibon's older drawings and Catherine Opie photographs of surfers.

· March 6 - Matt Dillon getting his mack on at the celebrity coffee bean(sunset and fairfax). He got dropped off in a crystler and proceeded to get his drink, then quickly began hitting on young girls. Reminded me of his brother johnny drama

· i saw Naveen Andrews on the corner of 4th and Santa Monica Blvd (near 3rd st promenade) on Feb. 29 around 7pm. Naveen was with a hot model-type chick (not Barbara Hershey—did they break up?). Naveen didn't look too happy to be reconized. i stared at him shamelessly, because i am an obsessive fan of LOST!!! i wanted to yell "Help me get back to the island, Sayid!!!!!" but i was too afraid he would torture me. Naveen and the mystery chick then headed into some fancy restaurant for dinner........

· March 3, 2008 Saw Naveen Andrews (LOST) at a park in Santa Monica. Was pushing my stroller and being sleep-addled and before I could stop myself, I turned to my husband and blurted out: "OH MY GOD, IS THAT SAYID?" To which Naveen laughed and waved. Then because I'm a total dork, I felt compelled to give him a thumbs up, to which he laughed and waved some more and then drove off in his sweet ass ride — a Porsche. btw, he's a total hottie.

· The next weekend I saw the always amazing Judd Apatow and his funny-talented wife, Leslie Mann, at the Grove. You'd never pick them out of a crowd, he in jeans and baseball cap, she in puffy jacket and sweat pants. Like not the velour matching kind but the old school kind of sweats — green with elastic around the ankles. It was raining. They seemed comfy and thank god because us understated puffy jacket and scarf wearing regular jeans people need to stick together... I mean, I've seen enough Marc Ecko jeans in LA to last a lifetime.

· Last night (3/6) I went grocery shopping and saw: 1) at the WeHo Trader Joe's Rashida Jones with chic geek glasses on—quite polite and very beautiful w/no make-up then 2) at the BH Bristol Farms Amanda Peet & David Benioff & their beautiful chubby baby. Amanda looked a little sleep-deprived but then again she didn't have make-up on either and still looked better than me. That's all.

· Saw Felicity (Keri Russell) at the bucolic Palisades Farmers' Market two weeks ago. She had her cute baby boy in one of those slings (Bjorns?) and looked fresh faced and happy, chatting with her similarly beponytailed husband. But she was super skinny. I know she's probably naturally tiny, but I'm not sure how her frail frame even supported the weight of that kid. Keri! The Oscars are over and you looked lovely! Now reward yourself with a sandwich for god's sake. The kid is going to be scarred for life if mommy
snaps in half next time she tries to pick him up.

· On March 1st I was waiting in line at the Starbucks at the Farmers Market at 3rd and Fairfax BJ Novak of the office got in line behind me. He had sunglasses and looked like he hadnt shaved for a week also he looked kind of edgy like he wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.

· Geeze, i think it was Monday march 3. Nicole richie and joel madden shopping for lingerie at neman marcus in beverly hills. Im guessing they were shopping for her... Her boobs looked like they did when she was fat. Milk does a body good indeed.

· wednesday - 05 march. malibu colony plaza. decided to have sushi for lunch when who should i see walking out of the restaurant but BRIAN GRAZER with, no - not his new cultural attache/shamen - rather his new girlfriend, pianist chau-giang nguyen. he's way shorter than i imagined, though his melon is as enormous as it looks in photos. his skin gives keith richards a run for its louis vuitton epi leather texture. chau was wearing a sun hat the size of an o.g. satellite dish. i'm guessing she thinks of brian as a cautionary epidermal tale. good call.

· Spotted at the Grove on Sunday 3/2: Paramount overlord Brad Grey shopping with daughter in Apple Store (didnt buy anything) and the adjacent Nike store. BG checked out the Nike merchandise and then spent some time in the changing area trying on different pairs of athletic pants while checking out HIS merchandise in the mirrors i.e. "does my but look fat in these trackpants?"

· Sat, March 1 - So, I've just gotten my bikini line waxed at FACE IT SKIN AND NAIL SPA in Hollywood at La Brea and Sunset in the El Pollo Loco/ Wendy's strip mall. As I walk back out to the nail area in my state of post-pain euphoria, I see a familiar man with a distinctive blonde fro-mullet. It's Steve Sanders! Excuse me, it's IAN ZIERING. He's sitting in one of the spa chairs getting a pedicure and the best thing about it is that he has that same perfect, smirky smile you always see on his face. Today it said, "That's right, Baby. You remember me, I'm Steve Sanders and I'm gettin' a pedicure." What is it with that smirk, EYE-An? What the f#@$ secrets of life do you know that I don't know? I know he lives in this annoying hood and all I can think is, if I were him and had a couple of bucks, I'd move as far east of Vermont as would make me cool again.

· I saw Valerie Bertinelli shopping with her man Tom Vitale in the Studio City Ralph's on Saturday night (03/01). She looked great in jeans and sunglasses, what a cutie. Then I went home and she was on a late night Oprah rerun promoting her new book "Losing It".

· Former Melrose Placer - Grant Show (you'll always be JAKE to me!) at Happy Ending's bar on Sunset. Man, he is aging well! Homie looks good for 46-years old, floppy hair and rock hard abs. I tried to get him to win me a lobster out of the tank, but he was too busy staring at some blond (sad face).

· A friend and I were enjoying $5 pitchers of beer at the Eagle in Silverlake on Monday night, March 3. I then notice Udo Keir cruising the bar in a black leather biker jacket and pristine blue jeans, how utterly German of him or not, it's a leather bar. He looked creepy and surprisingly well preserved. He left without closing a deal.

· March 3 - So I'm leaving the Disneyland Grand Californian after having brunch with my friends and I see a filthy looking, tatooed amaciated Travis Barker "rolling" in to the valet. From out of the ghetto fabulous Escalade emerges Shauna Moakler sans extensions and makeup and a bunch of little children. They were very conspicuous with the ink and Travis with his big shades in ANAHEIM!

· Tues, March 4, The Room (Cahuenga Corridor)
enjoying a late night snatchtail with some friends where we spotted Jason Bantha of National Treasure and Peadbody award winner National Treasure 2 having some drinks at dancing in that goofy white hipster boy kind of way. looked super cute and seems like an okay guy.

· Last Saturday (Mar 2) saw Jorja Fox with 3 non-celeb friends (2 guys and a girl) buying wine a bit after 10pm at CapNCork on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. She was in jeans, green shirt and white vest, hair down, no makeup and looking very casual but easily recognizable.

· i saw a very tall Eric Wareheim (from tim and eric awesome show on adult swim) last night at Katsuya in Studio CIty. He was with a gorgeous girl with short blonde hair, i assume it was his girlfriend. They were smiling and laughing, and very affectionate. It was very cute to watch and he seemed really sweet.

· At the Commerce Casino on March 3rd, watching the final table at the World Poker Tour event, saw the perfectly lovely Sara Rue (Less Than Perfect) seated front row to cheer on a friend. Also spotted veteran character actor Glenn Morshower in the crowd. OK, honestly I spotted "Agent Aaron Pierce" in the crowd, and had to check IMDB for his real name. Regardless, having a few seasons of 24 on his resume makes him the closest I've gotten to a Kiefer sighting in a while.

· March 5, 2008 12:50:31 PM PST - Joey Buttafuoco dining outside at the ivy right now!!

In today's episode: Sacha Baron Cohen; Adam Sandler and Richard Dreyfuss; Drew Barrymore; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Omar Epps, and Arye Gross; Hayden Christensen; Jason Schwartzman; Chad Faust; Kirstie Alley; Howie Mandel; Nick Nolte; Mickey Rourke; Heidi Klum and Kathleen Robertson; Dylan McDermott; Lauren Graham; Justin Long; Rob Corddry; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; David Boreanaz; Emily Deschanel and Zachary Quinto; Nicky Hilton, David and Jeff Katzenberg; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Danny Bonaduce; Brooke White; Monty Hall and Gary Owens.

· I saw Sacha Baron Cohen doing filming as Bruno (gay Austrian) at On Your Marks Studio in Sherman Oaks on Feb. 21st. He was dressed in tight leather black pants with a bedazzeled g-string showing. his hair was frosted blond and straight. He was interviewing parents with their children pretending to be an german / austrian ad agent looking for a child to do a car commercial. He asked questions like : are you willing to film your child with ants? bees or wasps? dogs? ect. very funny.

· Feb 20 - Adam Sandler was in the dining room of the Polo Lounge in a green t shirt at a table with a bunch of little kids. Kind of awesome. Then, in the lobby, a very old woman said, "I want something nice to snack on!" Her date, or friend, or companion, or whatever, an old guy who looked a bit like a shriveled Einstein, said, "Oh, something to do like THIS?"—and mimed shoving a candy bar in his mouth. Would it surprise you if I said that the wisened little man was Richard Dreyfuss?

· I'm simply shocked (shocked!) no one sent in Drew Barrymore at the Derby Dolls game on Saturday night (Feb 16). She sat front and center in the VIP section with some moody hipster types. I later saw her jumping up and down, all smiles talking with star jammer Mila Minute. Maybe Drew's scouting extras for her directorial debut? I've even got some photographic evidence.

· 2/20 Hugo's Studio City - Gwen, Gavin and Kingston Stefani-Rossdale looking magnificent, Arye Gross of "Ellen" notoriety, Omar Epps who only tip waitresses and the last time I saw Hayden Christensen there he hit on me, but I refuse to disclose the identify my sex.

· Feb 25 - This weekend I had two sightings at M Cafe de Chaya on Melrose. Saturday I saw Jason Schwartzman looking very cute with a nice healthy glow. Must be all that delicious Cafe M macrobiotic food! Someone was blocking his car in and he was very patient and polite. Sunday I went back to Cafe M for more deliciousness and saw Chad Faust from the USA show the 4400. I must be one of seven people that watch that show but man is the boy hot.

· Kirstie Alley: Saturday Feb 23 eating at Gingergrass in Silver Lake with two teen age girls and a couple 20 something chicks. One of her guests was eating salad; from the detritus on her plate, KA had KO'd a plate of sauteed meat and rice. KA had no make up and was dressed in large casual clothes. She's full figured but not obese, though some alpha hydroxy or laser around the lips and chin would def be a suggestion—more so than weight loss—for prettying up. No idea what they were gabbing about, they were too far away to eavesdrop on.

· last Thursday (Feb 21), having lunch in the 'bu at coogie's on pch, when who should walk in but the be-chromed dome himself, howie mandel. he was with a couple and the three of them were seated in the booth next to mine. i listened carefully as they discussed what they were going to order and waited to see what it was going to be for howie - a meal or no meal.

· then on friday, again in the 'bu, i was enjoying my delicious high protein burrito from howie's taqueria in the malibu country mart, when i see a tall-ish, dishevelled man walking my direction, wearing diaphanous, black man-made fiber pants, a black man-made fiber trench coat and a straw fedora-esque hat with a whole lotta crazy hair trying to escape from under it. as the gentlemen gets close i realize it's malibu's second favorite DUI son - nick nolte! aside from the air of crazy he exudes, what was most striking was the fact that he was wearing all that black and all that clothing in close to 80 degree weather.

· Feb 26 - I'm getting some work done at the Santa Monica Public Library, but some guy keeps snoring really loudly. I look up and am completely un-surprised to find that it's Mickey Rourke, sunglasses on and feet propped on a canvas bag. A girl politely wakes him up, and he proceeds to hit on her. Yes, that all sounds about right.

· It was a double dose of celebrity fun at 25 Degrees this afternoon (February 21st). Shortly after being seated in the far back booth for lunch, my friends and I spotted Kathleen Robertson of 90210 fame. Looking pretty and casually dressed, she ate with an older couple. Service for our meal was a little on the slow side (per usual), until it came time to pay the check and have our plates cleared. It was then we were informed that Heidi Klum needed a table — our table. We barely had a chance get up and walk away before Heidi and her entourage took over. She was shorter than I imagined; let's say 5'8".

· 2/25 - Dylan McDermott looking just as pretty as you'd expect Dylan McDermott to look cruising through Santa Monica in a black Porsche.

· 2/23 at Mexico City in Los Feliz: Lauren Graham sat in the booth next to us. She was with a couple and was looking fabulous. Still quite the (fictional) MILF!

· getting off the 10 at the 4th/5th st exit into santa monica, got cut off by some douche in a black prius. i'm able to use a pit maneuver and get in front of said douche, check my rearview and i see justin long. boytoy was in a hurry to get down to main street.

· Feb 21 - This morning! Rob Corddry! Jogging! In my neighborhood! (Almost ran over him with my car, but we won't mention that part in the awesomeness of the occasion.) Am wondering what he's doing hanging out so close to the place where they stash all the American Idol contenders each year.

· On Thursday, Feb. 28th, at about 10:10 am, I spotted David Boreanaz exiting a gas station on the corner of La Cienga and Holloway. He was in his silver mercedes, looking quite handsome.

· Feb 21 - Emily Deschanel and Zach Quinto of Heroes were at Brently Heilbron and Liz Feldman's Awesome War Show at the Comedy Central Stage Wednesday.

· Saw Zachary Quinto more times than I'd like to remember in the Silverlake hood. He seems to really think he's someone really special. He wears a hoodie over his head really low when he goes into Intelligentsia café—you know, incognito, cause he's so famous. Also, last Friday (Feb 15) at Akbar (in hood) he was occupying the service area, so the nice-guy bartender asked him to move. He refused, and actually pulled out the "Do you know who I am?" line.

· Didn't expect a star sighting at The Ivy morning of the Oscars because
I figured nobody in this town would be eating until 9pm that night,
but lo and behold, in walked Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg, along with Jeff Katzenberg and I'm assuming a whole slew of other Katzenbergs. Things must be getting serious for Nicky if she's allowed to crash fam brunch...

· Feb 25 - I saw Christopher Mintz-Plasse (also known as McLovin of Superbad fame) coming out of a showing of Diary of the Dead at the Universal City Walk AMC Theatre on Saturday the 23rd. He was wearing a cap somewhat low (maybe so he wouldn't be recognized) but he was on his cell phone talking and I definitely recognized his voice

· Driving South on LaBrea approaching 3rd St, right by Trader Joes on Monday afternoon (2/25) when I looked out the window and spotted a unicyclist pedaling furiously on the sidewalk. Just as I was wondering to myself, just why unicyclists do what they do, I realized that this unicyclist was none other than Danny Bonaduce. And, well, since I don't understand anything he does, I just kept driving.

· Thursday night, 2/28, at the Westwood Urban Outfitters. The store had closed five minutes prior when a couple girls and a guy try to make their way in. Of course, they were denied entry by the sales staff but then the man starts pleading, saying she knows what shirt she needs. The cashier relents and that's when a perky blonde runs over to the shirt table. As soon as she opened her mouth, I recognized her as America's favorite LDS nanny from American Idol, Brooke White. I guess they do pick out their own clothes after all. I'll be looking for that white long sleeved shirt this Wednesday.

· Feb 20 - Gosh-a-roony! Just saw Monty Hall and Gary Owens (Millenials, you can Wiki them) waiting for their cars with a couple equally-aged buddies outside Factor's...Seemed pleasant in demeanor...Just four dudes kibbitzing after lunch. I grew up watching Monty and Gary back in the good old three broadcast network days, so me thinks it's always good to see some of the old school still reprezent. Bye.

In today's episode: Don Cheadle; Aaron Sorkin and Rick Schroder; Gary Oldman; Matt Groening; Josh Duhamel and Fergie; John Lithgow; Jason Segel; Amy Smart and Branden Williams; Natasha Gregson Wagner; Tara Reid; Vernon Wells; A Martinez; Christopher Knight; Militia; David Leisure; and Angelyne.

· Feb. 13, 3:15 p.m.: While waiting for the 212 bus at the corner of Wilshire and La Brea, I saw Don Cheadle heading north in a silver Lexus that appeared to be a rental based on the wording on the rear window, fiddling with his Blackberry while waiting for the light to turn green. He seemed to be in a good mood, which I assume meant that the text on his device had nothing to do with Darfur.

· Aaron Sorkin classing up the lunchtime crowd at Orso, having a sweet Valentine's Day meal with what looked like his elderly agent. I couldn't hear their dialogue but I'm certain it was sharp and witty. No crack pipe in sight, although Sorkin did take an especially long time in the mens room. Just saying. Across the restaurant, Ricky Schroder and a publicist type. They were initially seated right next to us but asked to be moved to the back corner. Apparently the Ricker needs his privacy. While we're chatting, how sweet would a Sorkin-penned "Silver Spoons" revival be? I'd watch just to see how he could turn the train in the living room into an unsubtle commentary on the war in Iraq.

· Gary Oldman seen on Saturday night at Peppone's in Brentwood. He was hosting a very small private birthday dinner for his best friend in the little private room behind the bar. Gary in a suit looked dashing and Olivier-like. With him was his stunning date, the same Lady he has been seen with during the past months.

· I saw Matt Groening on my Virgin flight to SF on Friday evening (2/15). He was by himself and had a seat in first class. I so wanted to say something to him, but what's there to say that hasn't been said before? My girlfriend heard him call his mother as we walked past him. He's a mensch.

· On Saturday afternoon (1-16) me and my lovely lady (and her lumps) were hunkering down for a pre-wedding nosh with her mom on the patio at I Cugini in Santa Monica. Next to me sat a ridiculously good-looking guy, sipping a beer, with hair that looked like it had been used to mop the floor of a Crisco plant. Across from him sat a woman with an enormous pair of shiny glossy lips under a pair of outsized sunglasses and floppy hat. So low-key were they that I didn't recognize them as Josh Duhamel and Fergie until my fiancee whispered it to me. The bling must've given it away; she was sporting a rock the size of a disco ball.

· Spotted John Lithgow enjoying a casual meal at Comme Ca last night (2/12). He is very tall and very polite. It probably wouldn't be worth mentioning, but I loved "3rd Rock from the Sun" too much not to get a lil excited. Or maybe that was just the tasty french onion soup.

· Saturday, 2/16 — Jason Segel looking dapper at Bar Marmont. He is one towering motherfucker.

· Friday night (2/15) at the newly opened Akasha in Culver City, Amy Smart with fiance Branden Williams. Akasha Richmond herself immediately came out to greet them shortly after as they were seated and spent probably a good 15 minutes away from the kitchen chatting them up. Then some other guy (manager, possibly) came over and talked their ears off for a while longer. Branden seemed to enjoy the attention somewhat but Amy looked like she just wanted to eat in peace, and who could blame her.

· Had a weird experience at Canele in Atwater Village last night. Was having dinner with friends when I noticed a very attractive woman at a nearby table. I thought, "God, she looks familiar. Do I know her? Did we go out once? If we did... why aren't we married? Hope she's on Nerve or Match or something." Then I realized that my future wife was Natasha Gregson Wagner... and felt like a total jerk for staring at her. The beef bourguignon was amazing, though. Good times.

· Toluca Lake Thursday 3pm

Tara Reid enters building that houses a lot of reality tv production companies flanked by several black suited agent types.

Tara looks anorexic, tanorexic and drunk but I say whatever reality show she is pitching they should buy because she is a rough looking Hot Mess Trainwreck.

Note: This has not been posted by Tara Reid's representatives

· Saw everyone's favorite blonde, Tara Reid, at a Blockbuster on the west side this afternoon. (Feb 14) Could not see what she rented but she did have trouble with her credit card - forgot she had it cancelled.

· 2/14 While waiting in line for a table at the Pantry for a post Aretha Franklin concert pork chop, noticed a guy paying who looked he could have passed for Freddie Mercury at one time. Took about half a minute to figure out that I was looking at Vernon Wells, you might know him as Bennett from "Commando." Seemed like a nice enough guy out for the night to "blow off some steam."

· Good thing it wasn't the Visa Black card! Rides in a sweet Porsche!

· Feb. 14 - A Martinez at the Thousand Oaks Mall. Hanging around Penney's (like he was waiting for someone) then popped into The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Very handsome and friendly, but didn't draw attention to himself. He seemed like a nice guy.

· Saw Christopher Knight (the Brady, not the art critic, though wouldn't that mix-up make for an AWESOME "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode?) at the table next to us at La Boheme last night, having dinner sans La Curry with two others. Dude has a very small head relative to his body. His friends made the waiter take a photo of the three of them at the table — evidently it is not enough to eat dinner with Peter Brady; one must have photographic proof as well. I was *this close* to making rabbit ear's behind his wee little head (and based on how we were seated, I totally could have pulled it off), but chickened out at the last minute.

· Saturday, 2-16, 1ish, Gold's Gym on Cole: An American Gladiator sighting! And not just any AmGlad, but Militia — the gayporniest one of them all! Dude was bedecked in Militiawear— meshy, khaki, vesty number. Face kind of like a gargoyle or one of those scary devil masks. Not speaking or looking at anyone. Just whaling on those pythons. Guy's got a helluva day job— I'd probably be in the gym too. Oh wait—I was.

· File this under 'not much of a sighting - but I'll submit it anyway' - David Leisure of Empty Nest fame - circa 1988 was in Trader Joe's Valencia Wednesday 2/13 wearing cargo pants and a blue sweater. I said 80's right? Took me a while to realize who he was - yet thanks to Golden Girl reruns and cross-over characters, the ah-ha moment hit me. I saw him do his shtick to the woman offering free linguine and clam sauce with a side of garlic toast sampler plate. He walked around with the typical 'don't you know who I used to be' look - whilst trying to act normal and fit in with the 'rest' of us shoppers.

Angelyne at Rexall at 5:20pm on Sunday, February 17th. She didn't actually park in a legal spot ... Just sprawled across the entrance.

In today's episode: Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong; Justin Timberlake; Susan Sarandon; Kiefer Sutherland; David Beckham; Courtney Love; Lindsay Lohan, Balthazar Getty, Taryn Manning, Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley; David Spade and Verne Troyer; Anne Heche; Adrian Grenier; James Cromwell, Jeremy Sisto, Lake Bell, and Dita Von Teese; Kyle MacLachlan, Chad Lowe, and Bridget Moynahan; John Mayer; Andy Dick; Christina Ricci; Greg Germann; Ian Ziering; Enrico Colantoni, Judy Reyes, and Curt Smith; Scott Caan; Wanda Sykes; Diablo Cody; Greg Grunberg; Daniel Baldwin; Jason Segal; Zoe Bell; Vanessa Paradis; Nathan Fillion; and Adnan Ghalib.

· Monday 2/11 — Saw MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY spending some of his Fools Gold at Cut. He was having dinner with LANCE ARMSTRONG. Just the two of them ... alone. Two guys dressed very casually sharing wine, steak, and conversation. Matthew's hair was cut very short like Lance's - perhaps they've found their leading man for whatever LiveStrong biopic that's surely in the works.

· On Saturday (2/9) I ran into Justin Timberlake — as in, he got in my way and we accidentally sort of collided — in the lobby of the Ojai Valley Athletic Club. He was there playing basketball with some hot hanger-on chicks and a few (local?) dudes. Very strange.

· Last night (2/10), Susan Sarandon at an outdoor table at the restaurant at the Beverly Wilshire. My friends and I had to do a triple-take because we were arguing that the woman we were looking at was way too young to be Susan Sarandon. Seriously, I'm gayer than a pink hairnet, and this woman was beautiful as hell. Gracious with the staff, blah blah. I'd go on, but I don't want to be accused of being her publicist. Sorry to gush.

· 2.8.08 - Saw Kiefer Sutherland at The Roxy. It was a showcase for the three bands on his record label. He had on jeans, black shirt and a gray blazer. The man is very good looking in person. He was wonderful about stopping and talking to fans and signing autographs. He seemed to be having fun with his friends and kept a very low profile.

· Crawling along Santa Monica Blvd in Beverly Hills on Tuesday afternoon (2/12), none other than Britain's gift to America, David Beckham rides past going down Rodeo Dr. in his convertible Porsche. Along for the ride were at least two of his sons, looking suspiciously unrestrained. Tsk Tsk Becks!

· Courtney Love unnecessarily raising hell at the Troubadour, 11 pm, Thursday night: I was at the Troub to see the Morning Benders open for the Kooks. It was sold out to the gills, so I camped out on the VIP staircase to watch from above. Courtney comes tearing up the stairs, with a blond minion in tow and no VIP pass. When the nice security guy asked her to please leave the VIP area, she said, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" The security guy then had a long talk with her to convince her that he was serious about not permitting her in the area, at which point the blond minion RAN to get her a pass. A pissed Courtney stood there grudgingly until the woman came back with the wristband. She waved the wristband in the security guy's face, and tried to brush by him once again. At which point he informed her that she needed to put the wristband ON. News flash: The world is over Courtney Love and her rockstar bullshit. When is Courtney going to get over it, too?

· Well I guess the quiet neighborhood Italian restaurant my parents love is now the hottest meal ticket in town. Last night, Thursday, Feb 7, at Madeo: Lindsay Lohan with brown hair, Balthazar Getty & wife, Taryn Manning & Boyfriend (Mams Taylor), pre fight and leaving in a black Rolls Royce Phantom, as Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley arrived in their black SUV. What a night!

· A bearded David Spade and shockingly tiny Verne Troyer chilling together last night (2/7) in the most visible entry area of Ketchup on Sunset. Laughing and drinking and skeezing out on the Playmate-types circling them. Could someone please give these two a basic-cable reality show? Like, now? I'll make it easy for you, VH1 junior alternative development exec. Just cut and paste this PrivacyWatch sighting into an email and send to your boss. I won't even ask for a commission.

· Anne Heche dining with 2 or 3 other peeps at Mercedes Grill in MDR last night, Feb 7. Pretty & petite with a black fedora that she surprisingly pulled off while simultaneously wearing cargo pants. She's a smoker, yuck.

· Just saw Adrian Grenier, looking mighty scruffy at the MOCA opening tonight. Didn't really see who he was with, but it seemed like he was being left alone. I wonder if he Jacksoned the Pollock out of anyone after the show.

· Fun times at Hugo's in West Hollywood, Sunday February 10: The inexplicably famous Dita Von Teese (who's notability, as far as I can tell, is due only to having been married to a mid-level rock star, as emulating styles of 60 years ago and removing said styles in the 'burlesque' fashion is, no matter how well it is done, neither unique nor worthy of such fame).Far more exciting was our second viewing of prominent Oscar-nominated 'that guy' James Cromwell, the ever delightful Jeremy Sisto (who my fiancee insists bears uncanny resemblance to Skeet Ulrich, who was not there and the comparison isn't true anyway) and the underrated Lake Bell (also the second time we've seen her there). Sisto, on leaving after a quick coffee with someone I didn't recognize, proceeded to have friendly conversations with both Cromwell (a 'Six Feet Under reunion' as commented by the lady at a table nearby) and Bell.

· Today, Sunday 2/10, was a fabulous day at Hugo's on Santa Monica! First, Dita von Teese walked in, wearing a great 40s-style outfit and looking flawless as always. Her skin is to die for! Then, I saw Jeremy Sisto from Six Feet Under and Clueless...he was scruffy but looking good! He ate and then lingered outside for a while talking to some girls. Also at Hugo's was his Six Feet co-star James Cromwell! He was so, so tall! Jeremy and James saw each other after a while and had a friendly hello.

· Friday 2/8, at the Rhett Miller show at the Troubadour, Bridget Moynahan wearing a Giants hat (kidding!) and looking good post-Brady Baby. Also Chad Lowe looking, well, like Chad Lowe.

Also, Monday 2/11 at the Stairs in Santa Monica, John Mayer slowly walking off the champagne and caviar from Grammy night.

· Prior to going to the Rhett Miller show at the troubadour on fri (2/8) my friend and I hit Lou on Vine for a bite and some vino... sitting near the bar was agent Dale Cooper, Kyle MacLachlan. He wears the hell out of a pair of Levi's. Hit the show, Rhett was amazing, no surprise there, but as we were leaving Bridget Moynahan came down from the VIP section looking for Rhett. She looked great, was with some girlfriends....

· Friday February 8th - Went to the Woods where Andy Dick, in the spirit of Adrian Grenier, asked if he could "blank" the "blank" out of me. I declined, and he proceeded to chat up a booth of blondes, who must have been more receptive.

Later that same night, I saw a blonde Christina Ricci at Denny's, accompanied by an two older gentlemen. I'm not sure of what she ordered, but she looked very cute with no makeup.

· Feb 7 - At a party in Chinatown for Dwell Magazine. Bizarrely, so is Andy Dick —drinking beer (is he supposed to be sober?) — and he's chatting with Greg Germann from Ally McBeal. Picture attached.

· Sunday 2/10: Hiking Runyon Canyon with a friend was Ian Ziering. Later, at Studio City Jamba Juice, spotted Judy Reyes from Scrubs. Then at the upstairs California Pizza Kitchen, Enrico Colantoni (Just Shoot Me & Veronica Mars) was eating lunch with his family. At the next table Curt Smith from Tears for Fears (!!!) was having lunch with his daughters and helping them color. So cute.

· Yesterday (2/5) my friends and I spotted Scott Caan of Oceans 11,12,13, etc fame at the Whole Foods at Santa Monica and Fairfax. He wearing one of those hats, like a fedora but smaller (porkpie?). He was also wearing black Chucks. Typical Hollywood short but definitely do-able.

· Writing this on my cell, so it will be short. Right now (5:30pm on Monday, Feb 11) Wanda Sykes at Marix in WeHo. Walked in with a guy and a girl.

· 2/06 at the new retail space called: Grove, one Diablo Cody, looking just like her EW illo!

· On my way to work Downtown today (Feb 6) and was walking past the Original Pantry and saw Greg Grunberg, (OFFICER PARKMAN from HEROES) standing outside waiting. He was texting on his phone and he caught me staring and then I pulled out my phone so I think he was waiting for me to go for it, but I felt silly. And also I could feel him reading my thoughts about the whole situation...

About an hour ago I was walking to 3rd street promenade from a parking garage on 2nd, when someone asked me for a light. It was a VERY drunk Daniel Baldwin! Any other time, I wouldn't have batted an eye, but one of my guilty pleasures just happens to be Celebrity Rehab (I know, I can't help it). So seeing Daniel drunk was quite a shock! I didn't say anything for fear he would lose it, so I obliged and lit his cigarette. Then he staggered off alone without saying thank you. I guess Celebrity Rehab really doesn't work.

· 2/1 Was forced to go to a series of one act plays friday night and not happy about it. Was excited, however, when I saw Jason Segal of How I Met Your Mother sitting in the front row. I've crushed on him since Freaks and Geeks! I assumed he was there to support a fellow writer or actor. Spotted him again during intermission kissie-facing one of the actresses in the play:( As much as I wanted to hate her - she was gorgeous - I couldn't because she was hilarious in the show and incredibly sweet when I told her great job which,yes, also allowed me to get closer to my crush.

· Wednesday 02/05 Death Proof's Zoe Bell drinking a PBR and checking out the art at the imuhwherwulf opening at the Thought Gallery in Hollywood. In person she was a total double threat. Not only was she very pretty but she looked like she could beat up half the dudes there. Granted half the guys there were wearing girl's jeans but still.

· Today (10-Feb) I was enjoying a gorgeous day at Disneyland's California Adventures when I should happen to look over and see Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp's "girl", (as he refers to her). She was with their young son Jack who looked to be having a fantastic time and a Disney VIP Liaison. I didn't see their daughter nor the Demon Barber himself. I think I was pretty much the only person in the vicinity to have any clue who she was.

· Tuesday 2/5 Nathan Fillion (you'll always be captain tight pants to me) with a lady friend taking in Wicked at the Pantages.

· 2/11 - Last night, I watched professional toolbox, Adnan Ghalib, dining with a young coquettish brunette at SFValley celebrity haunt Hugo's Studio City. He had an animated conversation outside whilst re-read the menu - thrice. I was surprised to see the amount of bling he was wearing, and watched him inappropriately touch the waitress on her arm. I need to bathe again...he makes me feel greasy. Who do these people think they are?

In today's episode: Oprah Winfrey; Carla Gugino and Elizabeth Berkley; Brad Pitt and Zahara; Alec Baldwin; Kiefer Sutherland; Dave Chapelle; Forest Whitaker; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy; Woody Harrelson; James Spader; Tim Roth; Lisa Kudrow; Rob Schneider; Dylan McDermott; Gil Bellows, Ken Olin, Justin Kirk, and Cameron Crowe; Mischa Barton; Jason Segel; Adam Levine; Emilie de Ravin; Seth Binzer; and Luenell.

· Monday 4th Feb, heading to Runyon Canyon, stopped at the gas station at Sunset & Fairfax for some much needed agua. Dude took my money & then continued his conversation with another customer..."so, looks like your guy is two points ahead". A glance at said customer revealed none other than OPRAH WINFREY! Took me a sec to realize it was her - huge D & G wraparounds, black tracksuit and girlfriend...that is some booty ya got going on. Let's hope the snacks she was perusing were for the 2 white yapping small dogs in the Merc outside. As if that's not enough, descending from said hike, passed two fresh faced beauties talking & walking up the hill. CARLA GUGINO & ELIZABETH BERKLEY. Both cute & skinny...no surprise there.

· I was headed to see "Cloverfield" at The Grove when I heard some commotion behind me. I turned to see Brad Pitt carrying Zahara and being accosted by a tenacious paparazzi photog. The guy was a total pest, but Pitt kept his cool. As he shook the photo-spaz, I heard Pitt reassuring Z. that everything was okay and basically apologizing to her that she had to go through that. I felt bad, but quickly thereafter felt worse for myself that I had to shell out $11.50 to see somebody shoot a home movie of Godzilla.

· Alec Baldwin Friday 2/2 at the Starbucks in Studio City. Contrary to his well-known cellphone-screaming history, though, he was quiet and polite. Waited in line, tipped well and held the door for people on the way in and out. That peacoat and widewale cords weren't doing him any favors, though. He was looking, um, stocky, to say the least.

· Saw Kiefer at Spaceland in Silverlake last night (Jan 31). He went straight for the door despite the huge line, apparently to ask if Castledoor had already played. He was very apologetic about cutting in line to the girls at the front; after he talked to the doorman he went and hung out on the curb with a male friend until someone insisted they come in. He was all smiles, wearing an Iron Workers' Union jacket. Good to see him on the Eastside.

· Jack Bauer likes indie rock?! I was at Spaceland last Thursday night for the final, packed night of buzz band the Airborne Toxic Event's residency there, and who is standing right in front of me but the recently-released Kiefer Sutherland, who arrived early to brave the line. (It was, by the way, the longest line I have ever seen at the Silver Lake club.) He stayed from the beginning of the night all the way through the headlining band's set, singing along with the tunes and telling his friends how much he loved it. Afterwards, he hung around for a bit, taking some pictures with the violin girl from ATE and shooting the shit with the guys from the Deadly Syndrome. Who knew Jack Bauer had such good taste in music?

· Feb 1. - Dave Chapelle keeping it low profile at Swingers on Beverly. He looked a little thin but that might be because I've gotten so fat because of this strike. Come back, Dave, we need you.

January 30 - Forest Whitaker at the gas station on Beverly and Fairfax. Sweet Beamer! I had to hold myself back from telling him how beautiful his wife looked at the SAG awards.

January 27/28 - Drew Barrymore and Justin Long at the Apple Store at the Grove. Giggling as they read the blog 100 Days in Bed. Zexy!

· 2/3, about 5:15 p.m.: It's not every day that you see Oscar nominees-slash-Emmy winners at the local drugstore. Well, it's kinda every day here. But that doesn't make it less cool that, while making a Super Bowl halftime meal run, I ran into Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy at the Rite-Aid on La Brea and Santa Monica. They looked adorably normal with their two cute little daughters, even with Bill's crew cut and mustache - must be for a movie, I hope think.

· Was going to Maha Yoga in Brentwod tonight (Jan 26) and a dude wearing no shoes (just white tube socks?) opened the door for me. It was none other than Woody Harrelson. He asked at the front desk if they had any sandals, but the lady told him they only had women's left. I overheard him chitchatting about his trip to Kentucky to promote some sort of system that turns poop into drinking water. The other two members of the Shirtless Stoned Triumvirate were nowhere to be found; maybe next week.

· Saturday 2/2 at Sushi Ike on Hollywood Blvd I was seated across from James Spader. He looked good in his dark-rimmed glasses and younger than recent pics I've seen. He was with a hot-but-age-appropriate redhead and one of his sons, who looks like Fred Savage circa 1995. No really, a lot like Fred Savage. When he left he bid a large and friendly farewell to the staff and chefs.

· Not sure if this was overreported to you guys or not, but TIM ROTH was all over the Health/Autolux show last Friday at the El Rey (2/1). He was taking photos of the band from all over the sides of the stage, striding confidently out of the side stage door area (presumably for no reason, I'm sure they have bathrooms and booze backstage), and kind of weirding out all the indie rock fans in general. What's that guy from Pulp Fiction doing here? was a question wafting about the area - I also reminded them he was "the bad guy in Rob Roy".

Here's an unconvincing photo I tried to take of him as he snapped away during the Autolux set.

· Was at the 7:05 showing of 27 Dresses at the AMC Century City 15 on Sat night. Lisa Kudrow was sitting next to me with her friend. Both seemed to enjoy the movie, and their small bags of popcorn. No one made of big deal of this

· Saw Rob Schneider in a sloppy red tee shirt having lunch with a buddy at real food daily today. (2/5)

· Weds, January 30 - Dylan McDermott waiting for his car in a strip mall off of Santa Monica Blvd. I assume he'd had lunch at Hamasaku. Was really nice - when the valet accidentally handed my friend's car keys to him, he joked about switching cars!

· The strike-bearded masses convened at the Ryan Adams show on 1/31, including: mustachioed Gil Bellows, paunchy Ken Olin, dreamy Justin Kirk (who hopefully found special appreciation for the pot jokes), frequent attendee Cameron Crowe, and that chick who played "Jane Doe" on Grey's Anatomy (imdb says her name is Elizabeth Reaser). I'm sure there were others, but I was hypnotized by Spacewolf for most of the show.

· Saw Mischa Barton last night (2/4) sucking face with some scrappy dude in a booth at the Rainbow Bar & Grill...

· feb 1, The 'Ho, How I Met Your Mother/Knocked Up's Jason Segel smoking a ciggy in front of Basix. tall and smoking nerd hot, rocking a scarf while waiting for a friend. i'd hold his bong any day, earthquake or not.

· Adam Levine at Katsuya Hollywood last night (2/3/08), pretty trendy sighting at a pretty trendy place. He was with a group of hipster guys and girls, they were there for a few hours and seemed to be enjoying the delicious yellowtail.

· Feb 6 - I saw "Lost" star Emilie de Ravin at the Farmers Market's Monsieur Marcel market the other day. She was buying red wine and no one recognized her. Looks like she's spent her strike downtime eating.

· Jan 5: Seth Binzer in Van Nuys traffic court: He looked like a mohawked butterfly in his bejeweled green hoodie and gilded t shirt. I had randomly caught the first episode of Celebrity Rehab, otherwise I would have thought he was just a regular douche, not a sober celebrity douche. Seth Binzer had some photo copies of rehab completion certificates, and the look on his face was proud. He explained he had missed multiple court dates because he was in "several recovery centers" and I swear he looked about to name drop Dr. Drew. I think the judge had seen the show too, because he was much less condescending to old Shifty Shellshock than he was to the rest of us. After explaining that while going to rehab voluntarily is commendable, it's no excuse for missing court dates, the judge knocked his fines down to about a grand. One can only imagine what they were to begin with. His violations were kind of weird, including driving a vehicle without mirrors. Just when I thought this guy was gonna be the only one of us not publicly put in our place by this just judge, Seth asked for a One-Stop. The judge said, "I've never heard of a One-Stop." Seth said, "Yeah! This guy in line told me that since I was here I could go ahead and take care of this other ticket I got in Sherman Oaks and-" The judge cut him off and said, "No son. That's why you don't listen to jail house lawyers or guys standing in line. You have to take care of all your court appearances individually. You cannot do a One-Stop." I didn't see if the judge used scare quotes or not, but it sounded that way.

After Seth met with the cashier he said to his one man entourage "I got six months to pay this. After six months, I'm gonna reassess." I wish him the best.

· Feb 5 We saw Luenell— the prositute from Borat — dining with girlfriends at Chinois Monday night.

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Dustin Hoffman; Orlando Bloom; Brad Pitt; Cee-Lo; Gary Oldman; James Marsden and Ron Livingston; James Cromwell; Gary Busey; Matt Leinart; Wanda Sykes; Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel; Bill Maher, Will.I.Am, Patti LaBelle, and Roger Cross; Loni Anderson; Diablo Cody; Vivica A. Fox; Adrian Grenier; Matisyahu; Amanda Seyfried; Jimmy Fallon; Marcia Cross; Marg Helgenberger; Ellen Pompeo; Kelly Lynch; Joshua Malina; and Shane West.

· Jan 30 - Vince Vaughn was leaving the Arclight parking lot at the EXACT SAME TIME as me... (Sunday night) I guess US Weekly was right. Celebrities are just like us!

· I saw Dustin Hoffman eating breakfast at Coral Tree Cafe in Brentwood Sunday morning (1/27). Unlike most actors, he seemed taller in person...

· Orlando Bloom at the Black Rebel Mortorcycle club show at Safari Sam's on 1/25

· 1/17 [Ed. note: This one seems to have slipped through the cracks. Sorry for the delay.] spotted cee lo at the hollywood and highland american apparel, buying size xl jackets and hitting on the girl who was ringing him up. heard something to the effect of, "have you ever dated a famous rapper?" also- old news, but spotted brad pitt on the 12th or 13th walking into katsuya on hollywood blvd. gorgeous in person and for once, i was a little starstruck about seeing tyler durden IRL.

· While waiting in the pouring rain to get into Avalon around 10:15 p.m. on Saturday (01/26), a parade of upscale folks were exiting some sort of private event. Among them was a man in glasses who looked suspiciously like Gary Oldman. He was with three people, including an attractive brunette, and as he walked by me I heard the distinctive British accent which confirmed his presence. His group ran down Vine into the rain sans umbrella, and I wondered why don't we see more of him outside of Harry Potter movies?

· Saturday lunch at the cafe at American Rag, saw Ron Livingston walk in and have a leisurely lunch with his girlfriend, then spotted James Marsden (separately) at a table outside, playing with his iPhone, brunching with a girl, and talking about awards season.

· James Cromwell of BABE/QUEEN/24 fame dining with a similarly aged woman at Art's Diner in Studio City for lunch on 1/29.

· 1/22/08 Noonish, at the Staples in West LA. Gary Busey, looking just as crazy as he did on Entourage, grumbling to a cashier about the WGA strike, "I can't wait till it's over, so I can just get back to work you know?" He then did a few awkward spins in the aisles, maybe looking for divine intervention. Don't think he found it.

· 1/25, noon-ish. I see a tall, typical Westside frat boy type dude walking out of the Beverly Glen Deli. But then the glaring wardrobe choice made me aware there was a celebrity in my midst: NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, sporting a red Arizona Cardinals sweatshirt. Is that part of his contract or something? But in hindsight, I give Leinart kudos for not rocking the Tom Brady metrosexual look. Gisele dresses Tommy like he's a cast member of THE HILLS.

Later that afternoon, at the Ralphs on Ventura and Coldwater, Wanda Sykes intensely perusing the produce section. Except for some Kettle Chips, Wanda's cart was jammed packed with fruits and veggies. That's right, I looked.

· It's a little late, but on Sat 1/19 I saw Jason Schwartzman at RFD on La Cienega. He had longish (chin length) hair and a terrible 70's porn star mustache. He was with Zooey Deschanel and a couple of random hipsters.

· Bill Maher had a really fun weekend. He attended the Crustacean 10th anniversary party on Fri night in BH, where I saw him dragging that dark curly-haired girlfriend of his up the stairs to the VIP balcony area and rocking out to the unannounced performances by Will.I.Am and the high-voiced guy from Earth Wind & Fire and Patti LaBelle (girlfriend looks great for 63!). Also, Curtis from 24 (RIP, Roger Cross) was there. Then Sat night Bill took in the Fab Faux show at the Avalon, where I again saw him dragging his lady, this time toward the exit. He doesn't strike me as a Beatles guy, maybe he likes that two band members play in late-night talk show bands.

· Wednesday 1/16 - Loni Anderson at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, looking more and more like Wayland Flower's "Madam."

· Yes, Diablo Cody is just like us - like me, anyway: shopping at the WeHo Target on a rainy Sunday (1/27) morning, though she seemed a little less familiar with the store layout than I. I probably wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for her leopard print coat and knee socks wardrobe. The socks were SERIOUSLY fugly - grey and pink plaid. Can't wait to see what kind of quirkiness she'll be sporting to the Oscars...

· I was in Long Beach on Sunday (1/27) to visit Star Trek: The Tour at the Queen Mary dome. Geeky? You bet. But the woman I ran into at the box office (and saw inside) was actually wearing pointed ears and Vulcan eyebrows! They weren't enough to disguise the beautiful Vivica A. Fox, however, who looked to be having a great time with some friends. Live long and prosper, Viv!

· Jan 28 - A rare non-Los Feliz/SL area Adrian Grenier sighting last week: our twin silver Priuses (silently) hummed along side by side in Bev Hills. I let him in to make a right turn; my driving good graces would not have been extended had he been driving a Porsche or SUV.

At Murano, where the alter kaker gray haired set and the younger gays mix on west Melrose, my friend and I were utterly shocked when we spotted a group of Orthodox Jewish guys coming into the lounge to celebrate some party girl's birthday. Maybe it's our own internalized anti-Semitism at work, but weird and unprecedented for me to see Orthodox people in that sort of context. So it made a little more sense when we figured out afterward that a long bearded dude in the group was former-Chasidic-but-still-Orthodox-quasi-reggae singer Matisyahu. Talk about a confusing zig zagging social juxtaposition.

Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Veronica's dead bestie Lilly on V. Mars, and Big Love) was wandering the aisles of Mayfair today (1/28).

· Jan 31- I'm having breakfast Saturday at Clementine's and in walks Jimmy Fallon with a woman I assume is his wife/girlfriend/future wife. I believe she's one of the gals from D. Barrymore's company. Anyway, there was also a short guy with them - not sure of his story. And Fallon was wearing black jeans. And his hair looked just as I suspected it might if I were to ever see him in person.

· Marcia Cross (sans makeup!) and hubby escaping the rain at the Bigg Chill frozen yogurt on Olympic & Westwood on Saturday night.

· Tuesday, Jan 29 around lunch time, Marcia Cross shopping at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills with a woman with the same bright orange hair, which was just a coincidence, I think the other reddy worked there. Marcia in jeans and no makeup actually did not look scary like one might expect.

· Yesterday 1/29/08, spotted stripper turned CSI Katherine (Marg Helgenberger) in the valet area of Century City Medical Plaza/Hospital. She was wearing Ugg boots like every other female in at least a two mile radius (myself included). Sparkly beautiful huge rock on her finger. Nice sparkly car too. She was chewing her gum very hard and loudly either to a) get people to not talk to her or b) get herself noticed, I couldn't quite figure out which one.

· 1/24/08 - lunch hour: Ellen Pompeo and husband grocery shopping at the Fairfax Whole Foods. Eat, Meredith, eat. It's good for you.

· Kelly Lynch at Mustardseed, Saturday 1/26. She seemed to be friendly with the staff so maybe a regular though I've never seen her there before.

· Wanting to get my high protein burrito on at howdy's in the malibu country mart today, I spied a even-more-handsome-in-person former jed bartlett speech writer, current "big shots" philanderer (did anyone even watch that show?), joshua malina. he was working the still-on-strike-5:00-shadow and really was quite good looking.

· Jan 29 - Shane West at Jumpin' Java in Studio City.

In today's episode: Kiefer Sutherland; Clint Eastwood and Zooey Deschanel; Ryan Gosling; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom; Shia LaBeouf; Jason Schwartzman; Laurence Fishburne; Adrian Grenier; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Christina Applegate; Wentworth Miller; Justin Chambers; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Bradley Cooper; T.R. Knight; Tom Verica; Danny Bonaduce; John Hensley; and Danny Pintauro.

· Tues. 1/22, at Vermont in Los Feliz. KIEFER. Freshly sprung, and looking none the worse for all of that laundry duty. He was enjoying an early and relatively sedate dinner with a group of mostly male friends. Well-rested, clean-shaven, non-drinking. What is the world coming to?

· At the Whole Foods on Sepulveda in Sherman Oaks. I was checking out at the register and felt the customer behind me breathing down my neck. I turned to tell him to get out of my personal space when I realized that it was Ed Begley Jr. . That's a lame sighting but moments later he turned to say hello to a passing customer and it was no other than Clint F'n Eastwood. Clint looking good though the sweat pants were up a little high.

· I found myself at the Studio City In-N-Out for lunch today. As I'm getting in line, I spot Ryan Gosling sitting to the left eating a double-double. No, it wasn't protein style. I couldn't tell if he was eating fries, so I couldn't tell you if he's counting carbs. He was scruffy, wearing the non-working actor uniform of a flannel over a wife beater. His lunch date was a normal looking girl- I mean that as a compliment- she wasn't a Hollywood skank or looking like Ryan's fellow ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber Britney. He did most of the talking. An old man wished him luck on an Oscar win. I heard a few girls- they weren't really sure if it was him or not. He wasn't recognizable to most people in the joint. As I ate my double-double, I thought to myself- Brad Renfro and Ryan Gosling- 2 former kid actors , 1 dead, 1 a great actor. Ryan and the lady drove off in her red Chevy Cobalt sedan with Massachusetts plates. LA is great- A double-double is a double-double whether I'm eating it or Ryan Gosling's eating the same hamburger- doesn't matter if you're a movie star or a schlub like me- a double-double is still a double-double. (apologies to Warhol)

· While waiting in the Seattle airport for a return flight to LA last night (1/24), I noticed a pair of super cool boots in the crowd. When I looked up, I realized that they were attached to Hilary Swank. She is much more petite than I had expected and looked great without makeup or fancy clothes.

· Orlando Bloom at the 101 Coffee Shop this morning around 11 am with a few people. He was sitting at a booth facing the crowd - I love when celebs love being seen. No hiding here! Some chicks were chatting him up from the counter.

· 1/23 - On Wednesday morning, Shia LaBeouf stopped into Aroma in Studio City for a coffee. He looked freshly showered with his curly hair slicked back, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers in a retro way without looking like he's trying too hard. Nice.

· Sunday 1-20 at the Fairfax Whole Foods:

Almost collided into Zooey Deschanel in the cosmetics aisle. Very cute despite the Frumpy Boho look.

Then while perusing the soups in the deli section, a small group of small hipsters hailing each other. One of them was Jason Schwartzman looking like a hirsute elf. At the check out, my cashier asked his bagger if that was he, I nodded yes, then (the cashier) proceeded to tell everyone around him that it was Jason. The checker must have just moved to L.A., to be so starstruck. But then when I first moved to L.A., I was pretty excited over Loni Anderson.

· Met my best pal for breakfast today (Thursday, 1/24) at the S&W Country Diner in Culver City when who walks in and perches himself in the cramped corner of the counter by Laurence "Don't call me Larry" Fishburne. He wore a cloth golf jacket that would've looked good on a 74-year-old duffer at Hillcrest Country Club. Spent the whole time chatting on his cell, via a bluetooth. Dude looks completely ordinary in person.

· At the Coffee Table in Silver Lake today (1/15) and saw a scruffy, familiar face. Thought I knew him from some 12-step meetings or somewhere, but then realized it was Adrian Grenier from "Entourage". He was with a pretty blonde girl with indie-rock bangs who at one point was definitely crying. Thought he might be breaking her heart, but later she was smiling, so my friend and I figured it was more like her bird died or something. Oh, and last thing: I nominate Adrian for the new Kiefer. Not for debauchery, but for his Eastside ubiquitousness.

· January 15th at Hollywood hot spot Crimson. Sarah Michelle Gellar all decked out in a beautiful blue dress hanging out in the outside patio enjoying a cigarette with some other beautiful people in her party. Looked like they were celebrating something.

· Thursday, January 24, 4:40-ish

Christina Applegate looking very sad at the 7-11 on the corner of Holloway and La Cienega. Maybe it's because I got the last 1/4 pound Big Bite.

· 1/18/08- Perusing the aisles of dusty overpriced tchochkes in Pasadena's Camden Antiques, I looked up to see Prison Break's Wentworth Miller wandering about. Gay? Straight? Who cares. They guy is smokin' and the only desirable object I wanted to take home.

· saw the ridiculously hot JUSTIN CHAMBERS aka DR. KAREV on GREY'S ANATOMY, yesterday 1/21, on Little Santa Monica. he was walking by Sprinkles Cupcakes, wearing dark brown leather pants (in broad daylight? really?) and movie star sunglasses. he was carrying a pink Juicy Couture shopping bag.

if he wasn't so hot, i'd say he looked a little 'McDouche-y'.

· I spotted Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, and their monkey child at the Hollywood farmer's market this past Sunday. Ridiculously good looking family. Gavin is extremely fuckable in person.

· Bradley Cooper at Hal's at Friday lunch, 1-18-08. JFC. I need lube, now.

· t.r. knight (flocked by 4 very attractive men) at the 4:10 arclight showing of 27 dresses on saturday, 1/19. how cute, supporting the friend. but the movie wasn't that good to see it 2x so does that mean he wasn't invited to the premiere? scandalous.

· Jan 21 - Southwest Flight this morning to Salt Lake City saw Tom Verica. Had glasses (for reading, not for the sun), baseball cap and an iPhone. My kind of man.

· Monday, Jan 14th, Rock n' Roll Ralphs. Danny Bonaduce walked in front of my car, trying desperately to get away from a really pissed off dark-haired lass. I wish I could have stayed for the obviously brewing fight, but the line of cars behind me would not allow it. I haven't seen him since the late eighties, outside a valley bar where he—dressed in full leathers— solemnly mounted a moped and scootered off into the night. Classy.

· just saw matt (John Hensley) getting off a virgin america flight at lax (1/17) while i wait to board the same plane. he's way less tranny looking in person

· Weekend of fun gays — Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who's The Boss!!) at Friday night showing of 27 Dresses at Century City. Tiny, plaid shirt, screamed a lot. Also of note, someone totally puked at the Cloverfield showing that afternoon at The Grove. Yay?

In today's episode: Javier Bardem; Gary Oldman; Lindsay Lohan, Adrian Grenier, and Danny Masterson; Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman; Jesse Metcalfe; Kyle MacLachlan; Matthew Fox; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale; Billy Baldwin; Minnie Driver; Chelsea Clinton; Paula Abdul; Chris Noth and Sarah Chalke; Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa.

· Musing that I hadn't spotted a celeb since Richard E. Grant in Soho (London) the day before Thanksgiving (I know, it doesn't count), when I saw Javier Bardem, accompanied by an ND woman (only saw her from the back), eating what I assumed was the ubiquitous Pinkberry and walking along Abbott Kinney Blvd. Saturday (the 12th). V., v. hunky. Has a large cranium.

· Sunday afternoon, 1/13, Aroma Cafe on Tujunga. Along with all the
bitches (literally and figuratively) clogging up the joint was Gary Oldman, with a youngish woman, looking startlingly hot. I've always had a Gary thing but deee-ayum! Tall, stylish, excellent hair and all-around looking good. He can Rosencrantz my Guildenstern anytime. Sorry, I had to go there.

· Saw LiLo, with entourage in tow, exiting the Arclight last night (Jan 13). Pretty sure she watched THE ORPHANAGE as a similar size group shuffled in during the trailers. She was lighting up on her way out of the theater so I am guessing she didn't get the gig of spokesperson for Ariva, the smoking cessation lozenges.

· I had three celeb sightings at the Arclight Theatre last night,
Sunday the 13th:
1) Adrian Grenier, looking normal and looking for his friends.
2) Danny Masterson sporting a strike-beard and an "I'm so indie and hip 'cause I have a radio show" porkpie hat.
3) Lindsay Lohan. Yes, she was wearing leggings, shiny black ones (that actually looked spandex) with a big oversized blue t-shirt and a big black hoodie/sweatshirt/jacket (I didn't want to stare so I didn't get a good look. Also I was very busy trying not to laugh at the leggings).
I usually don't care about seeing the famous, but seeing Lilo in
leggings after reading the FUG girls complaining about how that's all she owns... well, it was too good not to pass on.

· Kaysu-Ya on Sunday, 01/13, Jesse Metcalfe with two male friends. Also, on Sunday, Danny DeVito & Rhea Perlman hiking with son (?) and dogs at Franklin Canyon Park.

· Saw Kyle MacLachlan with a table full of younger men at Ghengis Cohen Friday night. None of the guys could have been over 30 years old. As far as I'm aware, KM is straight, but it was enough to make you ponder the opposite. He looked adorably preppy in jeans and a polo.

· Jan 11 - Drove past Matthew Fox, who was stopped at the Holloway/LaCienega light in a Silver Mercedes M-Class. Even by himself in traffic, the guy's default expression is one of wide-eyed disdain for your stupidity. Oh, I guess my stupidity. But then, at least I have more than one friggin' expression in my repertoire. No Oscar wins in his future, methinks.

· It was a Star Sighting Sunday.

Heading west on Beverly just after brunch when I spotted an attractive, sunglass-covered blonde in the passenger seat of a black Range Rover behind me. She looked make-up free, but with a signature tartan plaid newsboy cap, there was no mistaking it was Gwen Stefani. I craned my head to get a look at the driver, and sure enough it was Gavin Rossdale in sunglasses and black thermal top. They were driving casually with all windows down to enjoy the amazing weekend weather. IMHO, they challenge Brangelina for best-looking-couple EVER.

Later that night at Century City mall, spotted Stephen Baldwin with a couple friend heading to the movies. He looks exactly as he does on Dirty Sexy Money. [Ed. note: They must have meant Billy Baldwin.] I expected messier/bloat-ier, but he looked pretty good.

· While shopping at the Hollywood Farmer's Market today (1/13), I spotted a woman walking with a purpose through the crowd with her son on her hip. It was none other than Gwen Stefani and Kingston with only one assistant nearby. She looked like a doll of herself with a ton of makeup on and her typical LAMB wear. I don't think she stopped for the woman from the Humane Society screaming at her to sign a petition.

· Saw Minnie Driver and friend getting a coffee at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. When they were in the checkout line, her friend commented on Josh Brolin's GQ cover. Minnie sounded very happy for her former fiance, noting, "This is all he's ever wanted, to get good roles and work with good directors."

· Sat 1/12 The Abbey Out with my fave faggle for brunch when we spotted former first kid Chelsea Clinton and a small entourage. Looked like she was with a geh or two, herself. She looked great! No stumping seen during her brief stop. She and her posse left in a giant pass van.

· Jan 14 - I just walked by Paula Abdul in front of a dance studio on Ventura in the SO. As I passed her, she literally started to cry and whine and looked all kinds of crazy. Best sighting ever.

· Sunday afternoon hiking Runyon Canyon, noticed a large, sweaty Chris Noth making his way downhill. Not a pretty sight. On my way out, I also passed Sarah Chalke from Scrubs (she's pretty, even without makeup) headed uphill.

· Saw Moon & Dweezil Zappa eating together - with their perspective kids and a few friends - at Canele in Atwater Village. Early Sunday night.

In today's episode: Daniel Day-Lewis; Diane Keaton; Jake Gyllenhaal; Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Justin Long, Jonah Hill and Peter Billingsley; Doris Roberts; Joe Pesci; Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane; Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman; Adrian Grenier; Randy Jackson; Alexis Bledel; Bob Saget; Danny Masterson; James Roday; and Sean Gunn.

· At the Arclight Wednesday (01/09) - Daniel Day-Lewis at 5:35pm screening of "Sweeney Todd" checking out the competition. The concession guy was boasting about the photo that he got with him on his phone, and then my friend and I got seated next to him and his female companion who we think was Rebecca Miller's sister. Take that, concession guy! DDL seemed amused and even chuckled a few times at Helena Bonham Carter's bits. He sat forward in his seat a few times echoing his posture in "There Will Be Blood". He was dressed totally vintage in dark frayed slacks, workman boots, and a fedora-ish hat that he threw on after the lights went up. He went straight to the pisser afterwards. Just your average everyday Oscar winner.

· 1/5 - While on the ticket line at AMC Century City on Saturday afternoon, I turn to see a woman walk in wearing a hat, glasses and black coat wrapped chicly with a wide, brown leather belt. I'm thinking a) nice outfit and b) she's clearly inspired by Diane Keaton because there's no way this Diane Keaton fan is lucky enough to experience an actual Diane Keaton sighting. As she comes closer, I realize yes that's the unmistakable smile and swagger of Miss Annie Hall. Not only that, she's gracing the popcorn bags (to promote Mad Money) and I later learned that day was her birthday (she looks great for 62). Okay, I'm done obsessing now.

· Jan 4 - Last night, waiting to pick up my takeout order at the insanely crowded Gingergrass in Silver Lake, I could have sworn I saw a handomsely bearded (I mean that in the facial hair sense, not the Penelope Cruz sense, although...) Jake Gyllenhaal chowing down with a group of 3 other normal looking people. There was a girl to his left and her back was to me and I didn't have the time, the room, the lack of dignity, or the energy to do a walk-by, so I can't add a +Reese sighting.

· it's official: my former favorite vodka bar is a dingus-filled celeb hangout. saturday 1/5 at bar lubitsch: vince vaughn, jon favreau, justin long, and jonah hill all hanging out together. also with them was favreau's producer peter billingsley, better known to most of you as the "you'll shoot your eye out" kid from a christmas story. despite the justin "oh, the pastiness" long sighting, no drew barrymore to be found. ah well.

· My grandmother (sorry, Doris Roberts) enjoying a leisurely lunch with some daughter-types Wednesday (1/9) at Orso on 3rd. All done up, tasteful suit, matching purse, makeup, hair done. Adorable!

· Wednesday 1/9. After watching another Clippers loss, my new friend and I headed back to the Valley and stopped over to Jerry's in Studio City. Sitting diagonally across from us was Joe Pesci. Joe was sharing an ice cream sundae with a VERY young looking woman who I'm hoping was his daughter. Joe was naturally dressed in all black with a black leather jacket and VERY dyed black hair.

· I ran into Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane (again!) at the Arclight in Hollywood the day after Christmas. They were walking with a group of friends after seeing the new PT Anderson Flick "There Will Be Blood" which they were raving about. Eric's hair looked completely grey and was slicked back, and he was completely clean shaven. Rebecca looked cute and casual in jeans and a sweater with her hair up.

also saw Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman on a flight returning from Cabo San Lucas on 12/22. They were in Business class (no 1st class on those AA mexico flights) - it was a short flight with lots of delays. They kept us on the tarmac for like an hour before we left and after we landed due to busy airports. Jimmy kept busy reading the newspaper while Sarah was typing stuff on her iPhone. They had to go through customs at LAX and wait in the long annoying lines like everyone else. Sarah took funny pictures of Jimmy while they were standing in line at immigration.

· Jan 6 - Just saw Adrian Grenier braving the rains for some fine vegan cuisine at Real Food Daily on La Cienega. Very cute and friendly as he waited for his friends at the bar.

· Sheer bliss: Wednesday night on Hollywood Boulevard outside the IO West Theatre near Cahuenga, American Idol's Randy Jackson was riding around on a big matte black Segway (or whatever those standing motorized things are called) in best Gob Bluth style, with a woman hanging on behind him as his passenger. She was short enough that he loomed over her (but, no, it wasn't Paula). Everybody on the sidewalk was turning to one another and saying, "Wasn't that Randy Jackson? Damn, that WAS Randy Jackson!"

· Thursday, 1/10, 11.13 PM: Saw Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls) at the Airborne Toxic Event residency at Spaceland, bobbing to the music with her boyfriend and looking adorably clean-cut in a sea of hipsters. I didn't know celebs followed hot new indie rock bands, except for maybe Heath Ledger, who is obsessed with Alex Ebert from Ima Robot. I have a whole new appreciation for Alexis now. Lingering question: was that Scarlett Johansen I saw dancing along at ATE's show last Thursday at Spaceland, or just another really pretty blonde girl?

·Jan 11 - 12:57 p.m. Stalking Bob Saget at the Apple store in Century City bitching about his iPhone battery

· Saw Danny Masterson at Koji's Shabu Shabu in the Hollywood and Highland Complex on Sunday night 1/6/08. Sat at the bar waiting for a table with a male friend. Pretty non-descript except for the scariest moustache I have ever seen. I checked IMDB and didn't see any Sherlock Holmes or Inspector Clouseau roles for him anytime soon.

· The guy from "Psych" - James Roday, IMDb tells me - at the Arclight around 10pm on Tuesday Jan. 8, with a petite special lady friend. He was sporting a beard - strike beard or just plain old hiatus beard, I could not say.

· Tuesday (1/5) Los Feliz Gelson's. Sean Gunn (Kirk from "Gilmore Girls"), pushing a cart and looking positively terrifying with a black spikey mohawk. Not a fauxhawk — dude went all the way with it. Hopefully the cancellation of the show hasn't sent him into a Travis Bickle-esque state of mind —

In today's star-studded holiday spectacular episode: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon; Sean Penn; Jack Black; Antonio Banderas; Dustin Hoffman; Elijah Wood; James Spader and Michael Rapaport; Leonard Cohen; Malcolm Gladwell; Benjamin Bratt and Talisa Soto; Dylan Walsh; Amy Brenneman; Giovanni Ribisi; Chris Noth; Jeremy Sisto; Dave Annable; Christopher MacDonald; Vincent Gallo; Rachel Dratch and Chris Parnell; Eve; Catherine Bach; Brandon Davis; Sean Hayes; John O'Hurley; Monica Lewinsky; Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed; John Lydon; Paul F. Tompkins; Randy Spelling; and Trevor Penick.

· Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon with some other actorly types at the 5:35 Dome showing of Sweeney Todd 12/29. Reese was wearing a baseball cap w/"Jake" embroidered on the side. Awww. Both were casual and cute. She is teeny tiny. Seriously.

Jake and Reese part 2 - when I got into the line to exit the parking lot, I was behind a black Mercedes, which then proceeded to pull up to the ticket booth and sit for five minutes while the driver obviously searched for his ticket. I suppressed the New Yorker in me and didn't lay on the horn, and was rewarded with the realization that Jake himself was the culprit. Stars, they're just like us! P.S. When I pulled to the ticket booth myself, the attendant was giddy from her five mins w/Jake. Don't know how Reese felt about all this; she seems pretty organized.

· Wednesday (12/19) I'm at the car rental office at Ontario Airport when I see a guy walk past who I think looks a lot like Sean Penn. But I think: Why would Sean Penn be renting a car at Ontario Airport? And besides, this guy is tall, and most celebrities are short. And also besides, this guy has a lot of gray hair, and Sean Penn is young and virile. A few minutes later, he passes by again, this time hounded by a car rental office employee very eager to have an autograph, and I realize it IS Sean Penn. He's in a big hurry but says he can sign something if she finds something for him to sign really fast. She produces a piece of paper, which he signs, then takes off. He's all alone, no entourage or assistant or companion or anything. The employee runs off with her prize, literally whooping and leaping in the air. I wish Sean Penn hadn't been in such a hurry so I could tell him that I liked "Into the Wild," and that my brother sincerely believes he hates America. Alas.

· Sat (12/29) - Jack Black with assumed nuclear family (child in plastic car, wife and 2 old people) at the Geffen Murakami show. Jack had a shaved blonde hair trim and was wearing a Coltrane shirt and seemed eager to view some paintings of jism.

· 12-20 - I promised my visiting mother some good celebrity sighting possibilities at the Grove. Just as the day was ending, with nothing but unnameable character actors everywhere, my mother entered Duck Soup and ran into Antonio Banderas as he was leaving. Mucho apoplexy and self-fanning. Her verdict: thin, unshaven and gorgeous. Merry Xmas, Grove.

· I'm pretty sure I saw Dustin Hoffman at Third Street Promenade today (12-28). He was walking by himself, talking on his cell phone and wearing a Rolling Stones jacket.

· saw ELIJAH WOOD doing some last-minute Christmas shopping on Monday, 12/24, at Anthropologie/3rd St. Promenade. looked a bit overwhelmed and overloaded with bags.

most surprising? actually short + hobbit-like in person. least surprising? piercing blue eyes.

· At the Murakami at the MOCA on Friday 12/28, the line was very, very long—way out the door. Not for Michael Rapaport though, who probably lives in some sort of alternate reality where he's really famous and people give a shit about him. He was a huge dick and cut in front of the whole line to buy his tickets. I was in the middle of buying my tickets, and he didn't even wait until I finished. James Spader was also there but he obeyed the rules.

· He's my man: Leonard Cohen, younger Asian wife, and a white couple with a newborn that spent plenty in time in grandpa (guessing here completely) Lenny's lap during a particularly delicious brunch at Ammo on Sun, Dec 31. I mean it was totally gross! Keep waiting on line for Doughboys across the street! Much better!

· Visited LA over New Year's for a reunion of my college roommates (go UNC!) and was able to squeeze in a couple celeb sightings. First, saw Michael Rapaport sitting outside Brooklyn Projects on Melrose on Sunday afternoon 12/30. Only noticed him because I damn near tripped over the broken skateboard in front of him. Then, saw Ron Livingston and his "Standoff" costar, Rosemarie DeWitt, in line at Whole Foods by the Grove standing in an endless line on New Year's Eve to buy overpriced groceries with the rest of the masses.

Oh, and earlier that day around 1 pm, I was trying to get breakfast at Rockenwagner's cafe on Abbott Kinney, and took over the tiny outdoor table in front of the bakery from Malcolm Gladwell, the author of pop-science greats "Blink" and "The Tipping Point." He was dressed in skinny jeans and was wandering around by himself with what looked like a manuscript in his hands. His giant fro is unmistakable.

· Benjamin Bratt, looking very doable in all-black on my LAX to EWR flight on 12/18. Traveling with beautiful wife Talisa Soto and two cute kids on a rainy day, he kept his sunglasses on all the way from the back of the very long gate check-in line. When he actually reached the flight attendant, he popped them on top of his head and clearly poured on the charm with the holder of all crosscountry seats. Hmmm, did you not start out with those cushy front row of first class seats, Benjamin? In any case, was very low key and seemed very into his family. Too bad his hip length coat was hiding what looked like a luscious butt. Traveling is touch, Benj, give us SOMETHING to dream about on a 5 1/2 hour flight!

· AA's LAX to Boston flight Dec 22.... None other than Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck's Sean McNamara) looking fretful in 1st class, and upon de-planing at Logan, spotted a very normal-looking Amy Brenneman (TV vet of Judging Amy and the unwatchable Private Practice) with husband-type and kids. Looked like the neighborhood MILF...

· January 1, 8 pm- After finishing an early dinner at Osteria Mozza (crispy duck and burratta with leeks vinaigrette) and while still trying to conjure up the name of the b-list tv celeb/happily working actor having dinner with his family next to us, ran into Giovanni Ribisi at the valet. He was leaning James Dean style against the wall giving everyone a pointy eyebrow look, probably trying to hypnotize us with some kind of Scientology mind trick. He was small and pale with a very expressive face. Standing next to him was a small and pale little girl, perhaps his sister. Was very gracious when a valet shook his hand.

· A biggie — Pavillions, Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood/Boystown, reading Page 6, New Years Eve, in serious need of touching up his roots, with weirdly dark eyebrows, pale skin, and a paunch. You guessed it — Sex In the City 'hottie' Mr Big, Chris Noth. The gays were all filling their baskets calmly (sort of), so I guess SJP wasn't there with him.

· January 1 - Jeremy Sisto was standing outside of Arclight, totally alone & looking both confused and as maladjusted as most of his characters. Throngs of people everywhere, but Mr. Sisto was in a clearing and looking around as if he was waiting for someone. Scruffy, just like he was every other time I've seen him. Had a Borders bag with him...which, come to think of it, makes me think he really likes book stores, because I've seen him twice in two different Barnes & Noble stores. Maybe he's well read. Definitely, he's taller than you average actor.

· Saw cutie Dave Annable at the Nordstrom's Westside Pavilion location on Tuesday 12/18 afternoon. In jacket, baseball cap and jeans, with another similiarly-attired guy. No mini-blonde in sight...

Veteran character actor Christopher MacDonald spotted at the Ozomatli HOB show Thursday night, 12/20. Dude is aging well...looked like a C-O-O-L rider.

· For your holiday star sighting blog entry...I saw Vincent Gallo in the produce section at Whole Foods on sm blvd/Fairfax last night, 12-26.

· On either Dec 11th or 12th, Rachel Dratch and Chris Parnell of SNL (or formally i suppose), biding their time in the gift area at the Arclight around 10 PM. They appeared to be even heights, meaning he is comically short and she is about a phonebook taller than you would think. She did look done up, but overall they did not seem to be on any couple-related business.

· 12/25/07
I'm in the security line at LAX trying to get on my flight to start my Xmas vacation when who do I see in the line in front of me? The rapper Eve. She was lookin' pretty good and I must say that I find that Tambourine song very catchy. Gotta give her props because she only had one hanger-on with her although she was being escorted through the airport by some "official " looking dude. She had go through security just like the rest of us peons.

Honorable pseudo-celebrity mentions:
American Airlines flight to Maui in the first class section Catherine "I used to be Daisy Duke" Bach. Wow. Girlfriend has really let herself go big time. She had herself crammed in a red velour sweatsuit that looked like it was about to burst open. Also, REALLY BAD dermal filler of some type in her lips. They looked so fake!

01/01/08 I'm waiting for my several hours delayed flight back to LA from Maui (Thanks American Airlines!!!) and I spot Brandon "Firecrotch shouter" Davis in the airport. Not as fat in person, but walking around in all of his greasy faced glory. He ended up making his flight to LA on United wait for him. Who does he think he is? Someone famous?
That is all to report.

· Saturday 12/29 Wandering through that little alley at The Grove (J.Crew/Whisper Lounge/side elevator to the parking lot), spotted Sean Hayes braving the throngs of common folks. Boyfriend and I spotted him at the same time & looked to each other for confirmation—yes, it was him. He was with a smaller dude and had on his requisite baseball cap. Seriously, is that thing stapled to his head?

· Since all the A and B-list celebs were on holiday, I only managed to catch some lower-level celebs about town.

My friend and I were at the Bel-Air Hotel NYE champagne gala and saw the nimble J. Peterman, AKA John O'Hurley of "Dancing With the Stars" fame, with his wife and another couple. He sadly disappeared before the unlimited champagne fueled dancing session started, robbing us gala-goers of his fancy footwork.

The next day, Jan. 1st, my friend and I were lunching at Nate & Al's on Rodeo when we saw Monica Lewinsky with a male companion. It looks like she's gained back the weight she lost, along with Linda Tripp's weight. I wanted to ask her who she was going to vote for this year, but she was busy eating.

· So I was dropping my girlfriend off at LAX this morning. She was flying to Mexico on Delta. At the Delta International terminal (longest line I've ever seen to check in, literally wound out of the building and down the sidewalk). My girlfriend and I had just said goodbye. Suddenly as I was walking away I saw, being guided by a Delta robot/security guard, the whole Simmons brood — Gene, Shannon Tweed and the two kids. They were whisked past the whole line (ahhh, the privileges of flying first class, no doubt), and taken to a fancy elevator right to the screening area. I have it on good authority that they were all headed to Puerto Vallarta. Gene looked as you'd expect: tall and creepy. His son's tall, too, but not nearly as creepy looking. Didn't get a good look at the daughter. But man, Shannon Tweed still looks hot as f*&k! Go, Cougars! Thanks, Defamer!

· Took a walk in Venice today (12/25) and was overcome with a mix of nausea and intrigue when I noticed a shirtless John Lydon sunbathing while reading his paper. He was bloated, pale and hairless.

· 12-21 - Paul F. Tompkins helping his lady friend choose a plaid coat at Forever 21 at The Grove while wearing white plastic frames with no lenses

· 1/2 - Saw the least-offensive Son of Hollywood, Randy Spelling, on my flight from Denver to LAX. It was a coach-only Frontier trip, so apparently Tori wasn't the only one cut off by Aaron in the will.

· Thursday Night, 12-20. Saddle Ranch Trevor from O-Town. I'm a loser.

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Edward Norton; Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Josh Kelley; Michael Cera and Maura Tierney; Ted Danson; Ellen Page; Robin Wright Penn, Tori Spelling, Scout Willis; Jason Schwartzman, Ron Livingston, and Elizabeth Reaser; Orlando Jones; Diahann Carroll; Wilford Brimley; Famke Janssen; Joel McHale; David Annable; Roma Maffia; Katherine Moennig; Sendhil Ramamurthy; Mystery and Alex Orbison. In England: Nicolas Cage.

· Vince Vaughn ambled past me last night (12/19) on Main St. in SM. The usual: Tall, thick, somewhat haggard. Was wearing one of those big insulated parka jackets and chatting loudly with an equally tall friend I didn't recognize. He looked thinner than he did at the Fred Claus premiere. I thought VV was an Eastside carouser, to what do we westsiders owe the honor, I wonder?

· Just thought I'd let you know that I saw Drew Barrymore and Justin Long arm in arm at the Murakami exhibit in downtown Los Angeles on Sunday, December 16th. I first spotted them giggling nervously in front of the Murakami statue depicting an anime-style character with a huge penis and a vortex of sperm shooting out of it. Like everyone else, they couldn't help themselves. I saw them around the exhibit at least 2 more times after that, looking flirty and sweet. Drew is even prettier in person...and Justin needs to shave off that silly moustache!! He's too cute for it. But it was a good sighting, and
added to the surreal environment Murakami created.

· 12/12 - mandy moore (who is beyond nice every single time i run into her), ryan adams (supposedly. didnt look like him to me but he was holding hands with her and someone said it was him), and josh kelley (who is actually way too awesome and nice to just be called mr. katherine heigl) at the ben lee show at el rey theatre.

12/14 - motherfucking edward norton rolling up to rza at the el rey. so gangsta. he was tall and skinny with a badass black leather jacket.

· Dec 12, 2007

Location: Birds. That post-collegiate, paparazzi-free bar next to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Franklin Ave.

Juno male lead, Michael Cera with a group of his friends, drinking and socializing. I thought he was taller, he stands at about 5'10"... maybe a half inch more.

Maura Tierney, ER Doctor Abby Lockhart, drinking and chatting away with some nondescript guy. I thought she was taller, she stands about 5'3" maybe (on a good day) 5'4".

Both were sitting on opposite ends of the room, oblivious to the others presence. As is the protocol in this celeb-drenched neighborhood, everyone left them alone.

· Monday - 18 December - Standing outside L'Occitane at the Malibu Country Mart, looking all tall, super skinny and gangly was Ted Danson, all alone, looking a bit lost and perhaps disoriented. I imagine if I'd tapped me some Whoopi Goldberg, I'd still be disoriented, too...wtf was he thinking?

· How I miss LA. Recently moved to the east coast but had to pass through LA on the way to Lihue. Flight 69 leaving LA on 12/14 around 1:40 After unexpectedly getting bumped to first class I find myself sitting 2 rows in front of Ellen Page. She was with some tall blonde guy named Sean. They seemed nice enough and they both, though underage, surprisingly, avoided the free booze they were regularly offered throughout all 6 hours of the flight.

· 12/16 - All within a couple hours and on one block on Beverly Blvd. in Beverly Hills: Robin Wright Penn (flawless) strolled by smiling with her kids in tow. I rode in an elevator with Tori Spelling, her adorably chatty baby boy and her lively, all-male entourage. Scout Willis (middle spawn of Bruce and Demi) held a parking garage door open for me.

· A few unrelated sightings on Sunday, December 16:
While enjoying the vegan-y goodness of Real Food Daily, my special ladyfriend and I spotted Jason Schwartzman sitting at a table with several friends. This was actually the second time we've seen him there—and why not? It's a damn fine eatery and I'm not even vegan; I just like stuff that tastes good. When peeking over at Schwartzman became tiring, who should walk in but Ron Livingston and Elizabeth Reaser (who co-starred with Livingston on an episode of his show 'Standoff,' but is best known as the lady with the crushed face who, once surgically made attractive again, left her family for Dr. Karev on 'Grey's Anatomy) and an attractive brunette lady we did not recognize.

· Also, earlier in the day we happened upon Orlando Jones walking his large and slobbery-looking bulldog in a quiet residential neighborhood that shall be kept private, lest overzealous Defamer-reading Orlando Jones fanatics bother him at home.

· Wow, what a wonderful woman. Diahann Carroll (for those of us of a certain age, aka Julia) came into the City National Bank at Sunset and Doheny Road on the edge of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood. She looked as wonderful as she did a few months ago on Oprah. The woman is an icon. She waited in line and chatted with another woman who appeared to be a friend. No drama, polite, elegant and looking great. And no I am not her publicist. Just happened to be there at the same time. It made my day.

· Driving down a very congested Wilshire Blvd at the Beverly Hills Country Club on Thursday 12/13 was none other than Diabetes testing supplies salesman and co-star of Steve Guttenberg in Cocoon, Mr. Wilford Brimley. I'm always fond of C-list sightings and below but this one was made infinitely better by Wilfred rocking the cherry red Mustang Convertible. All I wanted to do was roll down the window and shout, "have you checked your diabetes!?"

· b-list boom on sunday, 12/16.. lunching in los feliz, complete with sunglasses was host of e!'s the soup, joel mchale... then, later at pizzeria mozza was the statuesque (and impossible to pronounce) famke janssen. tall drink of water....

· Dec 17 - I believe all those reports of MK Olsen "dating" with David Annable are complete BS because I just saw him "canoodling" with a different young white girl waiting on line at the Coral Tree cafe line at the Century City mall food court.

·Spotted a radiant Roma Maffia (Nip/Tuck) having brunch at Campanile with 2 other ladies. Curious, is she a lesbian in real life too?

· Dec 17 - "The L Word's" KATHERINE MOENNIG, smiling (!!) and radiant, at OK Gallery on 3rd with her equally ectomorphic girlfriend.

· 12/19 - Sendhil Ramamurthy (Dr. Suresh on Heroes) walking alone and bagless at the Grove. Blue baseball hat and blue tee.

· Sunday 12.16 Only one person at King's Road Cafe dressed for the occasion should a rave and/or the apocalypse suddenly break out and that would be Mystery from VH1's "The Pick Up Artist."

Monday 12.17 Roy Orbison spawn and Kat Von D humper Alex Orbison was buying spinning shoes (really, wtf?) at I. Martin.

Special Nic Cage UK Christmas Edition:

· My first sighting in a long time, surprised that I still care at 70 years and some, but what the heck...it'll dirve my daughters crazy. "Sunday, Dec. 16: Nicolas Cage at Waitrose, grocery store in Bath, stocking up. Shoppin cart was loaded, but looked like they were only shopping for themselves. Like they were moving in for the holidays. Cute wife and daughter. He had that same tense "ohhh shit" look on his face. Guess it isn't an act, tho shopping on a Sunday at Waitrose is a bit of job if you don't want to be noticed. Knew I recognized him, little nod. Everyone was nice and left them alone.

In today's episode: Colin Farrell; Jennifer Aniston; Bjork; Donald Sutherland; Masi Oka; Ben Foster and Tom Welling; Elliot Gould; Paul Stanley; and Angelyne.

· Saw Colin Farrell at performance of Wicked Tuesday, December 11. He was with a non-descript woman and two children (not sure of relation); he sat in between the children. They were seated in Row C (I was in Row H). People noticed him but nobody bothered him. He seemed to enjoy the show. Looked exactly like he does in the movies - skuzzy, unkempt long hair, tattoos, etc. Nice on the eyes though.

· Wednesday December 12th, at about 9pm - Jennifer Aniston was sitting behind me at Mozza Pizzeria (Highland & Melrose) tonight, having dinner with 4 other folks (non-celebs). She looked fantastic and seemed to really be enjoying the company of her friends. I still can't believe Brad Pitt dumped her for that whacko Angelina.

· 12/11 The one and only Bjork showed up at Amoeba Records with a small entourage including what was likely her daughter, Isadora and some friends. For a place like Amoeba, a Bjork appearance was akin to the Queen of England showing up to hang with the proles in Trafalgar Square. She was actually quite lovely, made no attempt to hide who she was, and just shopped like anybody else - clad pretty simply, but wearing a black and rainbow colored shawl. That said, in her wake, everyone was obviously excited (I wouldn't be surprised if there were many "Defamer" e-mails mentally composed) and the employees of the store were positively giddy. No sign of husband Matthew Barney, but most certainly he is off on an ice freighter somewhere chasing whales with a 3-D camera for the next "Cremaster" film.

· On Tuesday, December 11, saw a silver-maned, virile Donald Sutherland exiting the Standard Hotel (downtown) with an entourage of one. Why was he there? I'm certain it wasn't to visit the prodigal son.....

· Dec 11 - I'd never been to a private club, so it was fitting to see the powerful, commanding presence-d Donald Sutherland having brunch with some older white Westside types at the table next to me at the Jonathan Club in Sta Monica on Sunday. Guess he loves to brunch with the city's Ruling Class. The club bans just about everything (cell phones, laptops etc.), and I'm sure submitting star sightings to Defamer would be on that list if it were to reach problem levels.

Today in my Hollywood office courtyard Masi Oka was wandering around, probably trying to find the Weitz Bros. offices. Actors always get lost among the cute bungalows there.

· A Thursday night twofer: On my way into Comme Ca to taste this world's greatest burger Jonathan Gold has been going on about (warning: it's only served at lunch), I spotted Six Feet Under bisexual art school creep/mutant angel/3:10 Yuma psychopath Ben Foster leaving the premises. Then later, Superman (not the boring big screen one, the Smallville one) sauntered in. Tom Welling is his name. I had no idea that dude was so tall! 6'3" if he's an inch!

· Yesterday (12/11), I stood in line with Elliot Gould at the West LA (Exposition Blvd) post office. He's tall! He looked just as annoyed as the rest of us to be there.

· 12/13, kirsten dunst, jury duty, l.a. county courthouse

· Video camera-wielding KISS axman Paul Stanley at the Knitting Factory in Hollywood Dec. 9 to watch the concert for Join the Band, a "School of Rock-esque" program for kids. He was there to watch his son Evan, who, turns out, has chops on the ax himself. (Damn birthrights!) The botoxed-and-face-lifted elder-Stanley didn't smile much until his kid's band performed a rousing rendition of "Rock and Roll All Nite". Then, sure enough, the crowd got to witness a sweet father-son moment as Paul sang along from the audience, beaming proudly. Even this jaded LA gal was touched.

· About 10:30 this morning (12/12), heading east on the 101, none other than iconic model and sometime-actress, Angelyne (yes, I know this is a pathetic sighting, but I live in Van Nuys, and we have so little here), tooling down the freeway in her legendary hot-pink Corvette. As she passed me, all I could glimpse was what appeared to be some sort of head, engulfed in a billowing mass of frantically teased blond curls. I held back and watched as at least a half dozen drivers, obviously taking note of the personalized plate that announced her presence, sidled up to her in the next lane, slowed a bit to check her out, and then sped away (in horror? Who can say?). She was still in my sights until she reached the 134 split, where I lost her. Woman has a lead foot.

A big sighting on Friday, December 7 @ the Culver Ice Arena, LA's most decrepit skating facility. The place was overrun with high school burnouts and geeks with nothing better to do. So, it was fitting then that Adam Sandler should show up with wife and small child in tow.

Soon thereafter, a frantic Sandler bolted back behind the skate rental counter in an attempt to dial 911. In turns out his wife found an elderly woman lying bloodied in the parking lot. She had a pretty big gash on her forehead and a sprained/bruised wrist. The Sandlers brought her inside and waited for the ambulance to arrive. Of course, his key teenage demographic stood slack-jawed the whole time. He was so upset over this woman's condition, I thought it was his own mother or grandmother. It wasn't until the woman's daughter arrived approximately 30 minutes later did I realize he didn't even know this woman (not sure who she was with or why she was there but she was pretty senile). The whole affair took some time because Culver City was having some sort of disaster preparedness drill. While the paramedics decided where to take the woman, Adam got in his Cadillac and waited to follow the ambulance, sacrificing his night of skating with his wife and offspring. Top that Cuba Gooding Jr.!

Not since Paris Hilton rushed to the side of a chocolate-sauce-hemorrhaging Oompa-Loompa have we been so moved by an act of celebrity selflessness. Mr. Sandler: We daintily defoil and proceed to devour a high denomination of chocolate gelt in your honor.

• Previously: Cuba Gooding Jr. Puts Gunshot Victim Before His Own Chicken And Waffle Eating Needs [Defamer]