Thank you Megan Fox, for almost single-handedly keeping the Internet reals. Keep on hustlin' that grind playa.

Good thing someone is! The first film's director, Oliver Stone, has signed a deal with Fox to do a sequel to his 1987 horror movie about the "greed is good" ethos that swallowed up so many New Yorkers in the 80's. Michael Douglas will reprise his role as Gordon Gecko—he won an Oscar on the first go around—but Charlie Sheen (and, presumably, Daryl Hannah) has been replaced. Who's pissy and annoying now, just like Sheen was back then? Shia LaBeouf! He'll play a young upstart, and the current economic clusterbungle will be factored into the story. Allan Loeb, who wrote the sorta-similar cocky young guy movie 21, will pen the script. Stone hasn't really been crankin' out the hits of late, so we are a bit skeptical, though there's some cautious optimism lurking around, because the first one was just so good.

It should be out by the time no one has any money left to buy movie tickets.

The spot now makes little to no sense in glorious HD — polished sound, picture and Shia. The product placement is sharper, and when Megan Fox shrieks, it's just like the night before she slapped us with our restraining order. It's uncanny. And anyway, if Bay doesn't deserve at least three minutes of your consideration on President's Day, we really don't know who does. Enjoy! Again!

• 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' - Official HD Trailer [YouTube]

Wisely eschewing unecessary distractions like dialogue, a voice of God announcer, and even a rap-metal soundtrack, masterly blowshituplogist and giantfuckingrobotician Michael Bay opts instead to paint stunning large-scale tableaux of Decepticon-reaped destruction, set to atmospheric metallic/windy/echo sounds.

Before fanboys worldwide crap their size 44 cargo pants in anticipation, we can offer some modest relief with news that the release date has been pushed up two days, to June 24. That's a Wednesday—you don't stop, you don't hide, you run. You hear what we're saying?

• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Official Site

After the jump: A trip to the resurrection chamber!

· Sci Fi channel has greenlit Caprica, the Battlestar Galactica prequel set 50 years prior. Eric Stoltz, Esai Morales, and Polly Walker will star. [Variety]
· Blockbuster has now restyled itself as a box office for Live Nation concert tickets, hoping it can supplement whatever modest surcharge revenue the venture generates by charging exorbitant late fees if you fail to bring your stubs back in time. [THR]

Boomp3.com

Partially inspired by a recent late night viewing of the 1983 comedy Doctor Detroit and a string of doctor visits, hunky & quirky action hero Shia LaBeouf has started to practice medicine. While the Transformers star hasn’t visited a medical school, LaBeouf believes that he’s done enough research to perform simple house calls. LaBeouf said, “I’m not diagnosing major diseases, but if you got the sniffles or a headache, I’m the dude to call. My bubby has the best chicken soup recipe in the world. It’ll cure whatever ails you.”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

"It's automatic, really, we did well with the last one and with that having done well and been a positive experience, it's not surprising that some people want to do it again," Ford said.

I asked Ford who specifically is stirring up the idea of another revival, whether it was Lucas, Spielberg or the star himself? "Really, it comes from the ethos, from the ether. It's natural. It's a way of nature, of course, success breed opportunities ... also we don't stay as closely in contact as we have in the last year, that's part of it." [...]

"It was never a lead-pipe cinch," Ford said. "It was a calculated business risk but I believe it paid off. I was somewhat surprised and gratified to see it did the business that it did. It was successful in almost every market. The first time we showed it to a disinterested outside audience was at Cannes. That's a crap shoot of the first order. Not only is that audience sophisticated and film-knowledgable, it's French! And it's their country and their festival and we somewhat expected to be seriously slapped around. But we were not, we were embraced...it was very gratifying."

No problem — we can help with that. Still, we can't foresee even the most spectacularly acclaimed Indy film outpacing the last one for sheer anticipation and return on investment; have you taken a look at the Indiana Jones PlunderWatch™ Ticker recently? You want a crap shoot of the first order, Harrison? Beat that.

• Harrison Ford says George Lucas in 'think mode' ... [Hero Complex]

Back in NY Reginald has put together an elaborate plan to confront the director during the last weeks of shooting, in Egypt.

"Note- The Riddle of the Sfinks

1- Fly to Egypt as a Tourist (check passport validity)
2- Pay for extra suitcase (pack all Transformers "ideas" notebooks)
3- Arrange for stay with Nubian Brethren
4- Get Limo Driver to set
5- Pose as Prince Alli Ben Satchbone and ask to see "persons in charge"
6- Discuss with Bay Soundwave's viability, Starscream's alt mode and possible use of [Frank] Welker as voice actor
7- Offer Egyptian funding if changes are made- he can try to collect later
8- Return Limo and head back to plane"

Now that the Egypt plan is revealed hopefully Don or someone can put up proper defenses.

And this even doesn't include the illuminating IM conversations with Bay's webmaster ("Also I know that if Bay kept my Hamburger eating scene I would upstage Shia- THAT's the reason I got denied, you knows it Nelson"). We'd say we'll bring you the latest as it happens, but who are we kidding? That's what Michael Bay's Twitter feed is for.

• Reg Brown — The Further Adventures [DonMurphy.net]

1. Eagle Eye - $29.2 million

This opening —the biggest since The Dark Knight juggernaut took off in July— officially marks Shia LaBeouf's entrance into the elite (and diminishing) club of actors who can actually open a movie. Just goes to prove that if you pay your greenscreen dues by battling nefarious CGI robots and swinging on digital vines (not to mention befriending Steven Spielberg), you too can become a major motion picture star!

2. Nights In Rodanthe - $13.6 million

The latest, thoroughly formulaic film from the canon of literary lightweight Nicholas Sparks was a big hit with the older female quadrant. If house porn is your thing, you could do a lot worse.

4. Fireproof - $6.5 million

Kirk Cameron is back, baby! We can only hope that his agents strike while the B.O. iron is hot and sign him up for a project that reunites him, Boner Stabone and Eddie Zeff in a Superbad meets The Big Chill type of caper, perhaps one in which they could track down the present whereabouts of hotties from ABC's late '80s lineup like Jamie Luner, Khrystyne Haje and Tracy Wells.

9. Miracle At St. Anna - $3.5 million

Despite getting a push from Oprah Winfrey last week, it looks like Spike Lee's latest will have a struggle to top Letters From Iwo Jima's $13.7MM domestic gross. Score one for Clint.

14. Choke - $1.3 million

Opening in limited release (just 435 theaters), the latest Chuck Pahlaniuk adaptation fared admirably with a $3,069 per screen average. That said, we have our doubts as to whether Middle America is ready to embrace a film whose climax involves the passing of lost anal beads.

• Weekend Box Office Results for September 26–28, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]

WHAT'S NEW: Shia LaBeouf reunites with his Disturbia director DJ Caruso for the thriller Eagle Eye, featuring our young hero as a man trapped (alongside Michelle Monaghan) in a mysterious mire of surveillance, espionage and murder also featuring Billy Bob Thornton and Rosario Dawson. Hitchcock comes up in more discussions of the film than he doesn't, with the rap being that Eagle Eye represents North by Northwest to Disturbia's too-influential-for-comfort Rear Window, but that's just adults being adults. The kids will toss rose petals and dump around $30.6 million out their wallets, further anchoring LaBeouf as his generation's most bankable star without a driver's license. Congrats, Shia!

Meanwhile, that generation's parents can shuffle into the auditorium next door for the Gere/Lane reteaming Nights in Rodanthe, adapted from a Hallmark card novel by Nicholas Sparks with enough inoffesnsively creaky cliche and Mom Jeans-wetting romance to attract around $13.1 million.

Also opening in limited release: The Palahniuk adaptation Choke; the Charlize Theron-led propaganda ensemble Battle in Seattle; Tim Robbins' and Rachel McAdams' Iraq-themed The Lucky Ones; Wayne Wang's modest immigrant mish-mash A Thousand Years of Good Prayers; the misanthropic Easter bunny comedy Hank and Mike; the race-baiting terrorism saga Shoot on Sight (tagline: "Is it a crime to be a Muslim?"); the Filipina-tranny doc The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela; and the lyrical, Indie Spirit Award-winning drama August Evening.

THE BIG LOSER: It's not like we actively root against films around Defamer HQ (all right, maybe that one time; it had it coming), and we really would like to see Spike Lee pull off Miracle at St. Anna, his epic WWII semi-mystery focusing long-overdue attention on the Army's 92nd Infantry Division — the only all-black unit to see combat in Europe. He may yet do it with Disney's micro-marketing prowess, but let's be honest: The reviews are brutal, it's 160 minutes long, it's rated R, it rotates between English, German and Italian, and at least a quarter of its intended audience is likelier to defer to one of two sturdy holdovers — Burn After Reading or The Famliy That Preys. If this breaks $5.5 million, we'll be shocked. Sorry, Spike; there's always Inside Man 2.

THE UNDERDOG: We alluded to it earlier this week, but Kirk Cameron's Fireproof — with its born-again title, God-fearing creds and bankable-enough star among Christian audiences — should sneak up on the mainstream, possibly pulling in as much as $4.2 million on 800 screens. Those are Dane Cook-beating numbers, and Lord knows a good Dane Cook beating is something to behold.

FOR SHUT-INS: New DVD's this week include Sex and the City, Leatherheads, the underrated Simon Pegg comedy Run, Fat Boy, Run, Dario Argento's gore opus Mother of Tears and, at long last, Two and a Half Men: The Complete Fourth Season.

So are you planning to drive Shia to the theater, or is it more of an old-people-fucking kind of weekend for you? Are we giving Spike a fair shake? And what to do about this glut at the art house? Call your shots!

Boomp3.com

At the world premiere for his latest film, Eagle Eye, Shia LaBeouf brought a unique guest along with him: an anatomically correct, life-sized Megan Fox doll. Fox wanted to attend the premiere with her Transformers co-star, but scheduling conflicts prevented her from making it last night. So in order to show Shia that she still cares, Fox spent the afternoon being poked and prodded by the Transformers special FX wizards. While she felt that the team got a little bit handsy during the molding sessions, she was assured that it was completely necessary in order to create the fully working and stunningly lifelike doll.

LaBeouf was initially disappointed when he learned that Fox was cancelling on him, but that feeling was quickly replaced with delight when he discovered the foxy clone in his trailer. Reportedly, he has been making the most of his new present. LaBeouf said, “Looks like somebody will be riding in the carpool lane from now on.”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Might "nuking the fridge" have been more palatable if it were followed by a scene where Indy, Mutt, and Ray Winstone spy on Cate Blanchett through a peephole in the high school locker room? Or are we subtly being prepared for an Indy 5 involving the mythical Quest for Teenage Tail?

• Shia LaBeouf Defends 'Nuking The Fridge' And Other Fantastical 'Indy 4' Moments [MTV]

Boomp3.com

After a grueling day of filming on the set of his latest blockbuster, Shia LaBeouf grabbed the nearest sandbag and decided to take a bit of a disco nap. However, a group of tourists got the shock of their life when they passed by the snoozing star and thought he had fallen asleep in the hot sun without applying any Banana Boat. One bold tourist took it upon himself to check out the status of LaBeouf and poked the Eagle Eye star with the business end of a boom mic. LaBeouf quickly popped up from his siesta muttering something about Ren Stevens before putting up his dukes.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

In addition to catching an eyeful of Megan Fox upon his return to the Transformers set, Shia LaBeouf also received a very thorough and meticulous ass buffing with an industrial strength feather duster. In the midst of his ass buffing, LaBeouf said, "Michael Bay really knows how to make an actor feel welcomed. At first, it's a weird sensation, but after awhile, it feels like a tiny kitten delightfully romping in a dewy meadow." Although, the first shot of the day was delayed for a couple of moments when the crew realized that LaBeouf enjoyed his buffing a bit too much.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Eagle Eye star Shia LaBeouf felt a sharp rush of pain in his left-hand when he attempted to flip off a group of photographers. LaBeouf knew that he could've used his other hand to deliver the bird, but he prefers using his left hand for explicit gestures. LaBeouf explained, "How am I supposed to tell people to leave me alone? Everyone knows that your right hand is only for throwing the peace sign or the Spock hand gesture. Rightie is my lover hand."

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

She in turn responded with two little words—"Totally untrue"—that totally puts him back in the running for that Billy Joel biopic project. (Not to mention all the water he'll be able to wiggle out of his ear after he goes swimming! There's so many uses for a pinkie—and Shia can take advantage of them all!)

• Relax, Shia LaBeouf fans. No amputation planned for his pinkie! [LAT]