Gawker: defamer, shayne lamas

The Bachelor's Shayne Lamas: Drunk, Naked, And Ready To Date Again

Seth — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:10:00 EDT

Lamas Family acting dynasty heiress Shayne Lamas may not have made love work with the green-card-curious man of her dreams, but by no means does that mean that she'd cover all the mirrors in her house, don a black cocktail dress, and mourn her broken engagement indoors. Life goes on for our little Monkey, as evidenced by a sequence of photographs on inebriated-social-interaction documentation site lastnightsparty.com. What starts out innocently enough, however, with a little round of "Who's the Marilyn-est of them all?" quickly devolves into a regrettable attempt at unbuckling a nearby patron's belt with her head, followed by a shocking display of unobstructed tuchus that will forever taint the pristine Bachelor brand. It's after the jump. But BEWARE! Shayne Lamas's dumps are NSFW!

Gambling Nights (NSFW) [lastnightsparty.com]

Their Love Is Dead: Shayne Lamas And British 'Bachelor' Guy Call Off The Engagement

Seth — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:45:53 EDT

It's a shocking turn of events anticipated by only a handful of the most cynical romance-haters: Shayne Lamas, heiress to the Lamas Family acting dynasty, and British Bachelor Guy, a reality TV contestant from England, citing irreconcilable attention whoredom, have announced that their engagement is off. What's more—and we urge you now to take a seat if you aren't doing so already—the two will be going their separate ways forever. From usmagazine.com:

"We tried hard to make it work but we realized that we were both heading in different directions," they said in a statement Thursday. "We truly care about each other and will remain close friends."

Engaged since the May 12 finale of the reality show, the pair have fought off breakup rumors since June when Grant, a global financier, moved out of the actress' L.A. pad.

"I never really moved in there," he tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

This news bodes not well for all other series franchisee couples: Anyone who tuned in to the tear-jerking finale—in which BBG dropped to one knee and, finally at a comfortable eye-level with Lamas, slipped an obsessively documented engagement ring upon her finger—would be forgiven for assuming that his swoon-inducing pledges of "I love you. Monkey. Will you marry me?" were nothing but genuine. We pin our competitive-reality-romance hopes now on The Bachelorette's DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak, praying that when the snowboard instructor scribbled "many years of whip creamy cheesecake" on a list of proposal talking-points, that he indeed meant every word of his decadent, strawberry-topped romantic pledge.

Bachelor Matt Grant & Fiancée Shayne Lamas Call It Quits [Us]

Shayne Lamas's Performance Of A Lifetime

Seth — Tue, 13 May 2008 13:55:00 EDT

Sure, we all endured the Rose Ceremony hoops, but was there really any doubt in our minds who Matt Grant—the most British Bachelor ever!—would choose at the end of his lady-shopping journey? The second he laid eyes on Lamas Family acting dynasty heiress Shayne Lamas, our funny-sounding Casanova was a goner. Sad as that was for first runner-up Chelsea, who was commended for her loveliness and offered her choice of Whirlpool appliances in exchange for her time, it resulted in a jackpot romantic payday for Shayne.

Not only was she His One, she was also the unwitting beneficiary of a new Bachelor contestant contract stipulation that sought to avoid a repeat of last year's gazebo bloodbath, in which no bachelorette (none!) was chosen. As Paragraph 27D clearly states, "The Bachelor MUST choose a bachelorette from the 25 lovely ladies chosen for him. The Bachelor MUST drop to one knee during the Final Rose ceremony. The Bachelor MUST present said Final Rose recipient with a diamond engagement ring (provided by the network). The Bachelor is NOT required to propose marriage at that time, but network reserves right to create the illusion of a proposal via looping, editing, and/or the use of a lookalike or stunt double." By the time the last digital seams are faded in post, the effect is astonishing: We defy you to differentiate between actual love and what you witness in the video above.

The Bachelor [ABC]

I Believe In You And Meep: Celebrating The Bachelor's Amanda

Seth — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Last night brought us the always anticipated The Bachelor reunion show, and while it didn't come close to reaching the dramatic heights of last season's stunning confrontation between hunky-faced Brad Womack and the shunted women he so callously tossed aside like used bedside facial tissue, it did feature some satisfying moments. Absent from the proceedings was finalist Shayne Lamas, scion of the Lamas Family Acting Dynasty, who, despite what her father might tell you, is truly, madly, deeply in love with What's-His-Face from London Town.

Instead, we were treated to a too-long-overdue reunion with Stacey—the Bachelors in Nutrition-holding embodiment of our wildest drunken-reality-TV-slut fantasies—who came bearing yet another non-virginal sacrificial offering of panties for the man who got away. (They were instantly placed by a stagehand into a biohazard refuse container with a pair a salad tongs. Those too were promptly discarded.) But for your clip-viewing enjoyment, we've included the inevitable (even her own mother called this moment) montage of Amanda, cursed with a rare hiccup condition that transforms the contestant into a knockout version of The Muppets' Beaker whenever nerves get the better of her. Enjoy.

The Bachelor [ABC]

Dad Lorenzo Outs Shayne Lamas As The Reality TV Famewhore She Truly Is

Seth — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:00:00 EDT

In just the four short weeks since we last checked in with dandiest Bachelor ever Matt Grant, the British export has managed to whittle down his harem of colonial concubines to three. Not surprisingly, Shayne Lamas, the needy-but-hot, questionably motivated heir to the Lamas Family acting dynasty, is still in the running, earning her a coveted family visit on last night's episode.

There, father Lorenzo was able to experience for himself the remarkable, reverse G-force effects of Grant's soul-sucking personality vacuum. The burrito-smuggling Are You Hot? The Search for America's Sexiest People panelist also warned his potential future son-in-law (and by extension, all of America) about Shayne's true intentions, though all doubts were swiftly dispelled the moment she took her suitor's hand and told him, "I am not here for any reason than to be here for you," then leaned in to embrace the pre-selected love of her life, crossed fingers and toes safely hidden from the ever-present cameras.

The Bachelor: London Calling [ABC]