Chris Meloni, "a day at the beach"
What It's Probably Supposed to Say: Meloni is really a fun lovin' guy! He's not that brooding, getting-too-close-to-the-case-all-the-damn-time Eliot Stabler he plays on SVU. He really is just like that funny man we've seen in Wet Hot American Summer and Gym Teacher.
What It Really Says: Aside from the obvious, you know, seafood jokes, that he's quietly sad and wishes he could have fun and stare at the ever-rolling waves rather than talk about rape and murder all day.

Michael Phelps, L'Homme YSL
What It's Probably Supposed To Say: That he's suave and classy.
What It Really Says: While People apparently denies this is product placement, we kinda doubt it isn't. So this means that lil' Neptune has become a total corporate shill since winning 1.5 million gold medals at the Chinalympics. I mean, we've known this for some time, and who can blame the kid for cashing in on his new-found fame. But you'd think that a young man as passionate about swimming as he seems to be would chose, like, "the smell of chlorine" or something. But he probably doesn't find that sexy anymore. No, that's work. The money is sexy. Giant swimming pools full of cologne-smelling money.

Taye Diggs, “vanilla, chocolate, sandalwood and musk essential oils"
What It's Probably Supposed To Say: These are pretty cliche! And sorta like sexy sexy. I guess this means that he's a just a smooth, sensual, lover brother who will give you the passionate time of your life when you're on vacation in Jamaica, escaping the grind with your friend, happy to be briefly away from your busy life being a single mom to your son back in San Francisco. Oh. Wait. That was just a movie. Um, I guess it just means that his wife, Broadway star Idina Menzel, is just a very, very happy woman.
What It Really Says: Actually, that's probably it.

Chace Crawford, "fresh cut grass"
What It's Probably Supposed To Say: Well apparently Miss Crawford says of the smell: "[I] grew up playing a lot of football and golf ... When I smell freshly cut grass I get this air of competition. It wakes me up, gets me going." So, he's a good clean all-American boy!
What It Really Says: That thinking of football and sweat and sports makes him feel sexy! That is totally normal! Lots of men feel like that. Big, strong manly men like Rock Hudson and Richard Chamberlain and Tab Hunter. Either that or he's just a young man who gets a bit peckish when thinking of balmy, breezy summer and, well, um, the neighbor boy who used to mow the lawn across the street in nothing but gym shorts.

Strict term-limits kept the hands of editors tied this year, preventing them from bestowing yet another win upon double-title-holding SMA all-stars George Clooney and Brad Pitt. The search therefore extended beyond U.S. borders—something they were reluctant to do after the debacle that was Sean Connery's 1989 win—and eventually landed upon debonair star of stage and screen Hugh Jackman, who was quickly certified following an exhaustive, 150-point mechanical and appearance Sexy Man inspection. Jackman just happens to star in Baz Luhrmann's blockbuster romance Australia, set to open momentarily around the globe, but a People rep assured us the timing is purely serendipitous, and the actor "would have still been our choice even if he was high-kicking it eight times a week in Paul!: The Paul Lynde Musical on Broadway."

As our gift to you, we've created this keepsake Hugh Jackman: People's Sexiest Man Alive 2008 poster, suitable for framing.

• Hugh Jackman: The Sexiest Man Alive [People]

Apparently Damon held out hope that he might join George Clooney and Brad Pitt among the only actors to nab the cover two years in a row, despite the fact that the two former tiara winners all but bent over in a public campaign to name him last year's winner. Initially joking to the mag on a recent red carpet about his fears of losing the crown, Damon launched into an explanation regarding his current aesthetic: "It wasn't necessarily that I needed to be fat...it was that I needed to be 'doughy.'" And Matt even apologetically curses his age for the ability to gain weight so quickly, adding that he used to be able to maintain his girlish figure while inhaling burgers and beer but, now that he's in his 30s, those habits only helped his transformation. We personally think Damon should stop being so defensive about the new look — any time he can aid off-the-radar buddy Ben Affleck in making the pages of a glossy these days is worth more than a hundred heavily airbrushed sash-wearing covers.

[Photo credits: People, Splash]

• MATT DAMON: MY 'SEXIEST MAN' TITLE IS IN JEAPORDY [People]

George Clooney and Brad Pitt have shamelessly campaigned for him since 2001, but this year's winner was Bourne to the title. "You've given an aging suburban dad the ego-boost of a lifetime," Damon, 37, told PEOPLE, explaining why he couldn't possibly accept the crown - which perfectly demonstrates many of the reasons we chose him in the first place: irresistible sense of humor, rock solid family man, heart-melting humility.

While Damon will doubtlessly enjoy the temporary ego-gains of receiving hourly shipments of oversized lacy underthings from the most easily excitable segment of People's readership, he'll probably soon wake up to the same kind of sobering prank Clooney suffered last year. Upon flipping through tomorrow's copy of Variety, he shouldn't be surprised to see a a full-page photo his Sexiest-predecessor co-stars promised would never become public, in which the normally image-conscious Damon, after having allowed himself an open-bar bender at the Ocean's 13 wrap party, is shown passed out in the back of Pitt's limousine, caked in the hardening chocolate of the dessert fountain he'd repeatedly thrust his head into for the drunken amusement of his crew.

• Sexiest Man Alive 2007[People.com]