Kid Rock: We're pretty sure there was only one reason why the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape was ever released: to prove (to someone, we don't know who) that these two a) have (or at least had) groupies and b) have received oral sex. We're pretty sure we didn't need to know either of those things — but hey, that's the world of celeb sex tapes for you.

Joanie "Chyna" Laurer: Female pro-wrestlers don't get nearly enough attention in the press—though we're not really sure that the kind of attention that Chyna's sex tape generated was really appreciated by her fellow female wrestlers (can you say "inch-long and thick-as-a-pinkie clitoris with a corona resembling the head of a penis"?).

Amy Fisher: Given that Amy Fisher's biggest claim to fame was shooting someone in the face, it is, perhaps, a little odd that she followed that up with her very own sex tape. Then again, Amy's criminal career was spawned by an affair she had with the much older Buttafuoco. When she was a teenager. And seriously, how hot does "Long Island Lolita: Caught On Tape" sound? (Related, but vastly less hot: the Joey Buttafuoco sex tape.)

Verne Troyer: Next up in our list of unlikely pornstars is Verne Troyer (better known as "Mini-Me."). Though Troyer didn't take too kindly to his time in the spotlight, we feel the release of his sex tape was actually a bit of a public service. Firstly, it taught us all that, no matter how different you may look, there's always someone out there who'll be willing to love you (and commit it to tape!). Secondly, it gave us all a very, very detailed lesson in how not to kiss.

Gene Simmons: And speaking of KISSing (ha!): you can't spell sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll without sex. And no one knows that better than KISS front man Gene Simmons, whose all too brief career in adult entertainment we were more than happy to analyze.

Dustin Diamond: If you'd told us, as kids, that Screech of "Saved by the Bell" fame would one day be the star of his very own sex tape, we probably would have run screaming from the room (well, after having you explain what, exactly, a "sex tape" was). That reaction wouldn't have been so far off: Dustin Diamond's last ditch effort to reclaim the spotlight was pathetic at best—but at the same time, isn't the whole pathetic grasp at fame thing the whole point of a self-released sex tape? (Oh, and also: Dirty Sanchez.)

Jenna Lewis: Screech wasn't the first "celebrity" to cash in on a "stolen" sex tape: that honor goes to Jenna Lewis, better known as Jenna from "Survivor," who raked in over $70,000 (and extended her fifteen minutes of fame) with her very own sex tape.

Kim Kardashian: And then, of course, there was Kim Kardashian's romp with R&B star Ray J. We never really figured out why Kim was supposed to be a celebrity, but at least she managed to make it with someone with at least a little bit of cred. And, for that matter, Kardashian managed to rake in a decent amount of money, too (much as she denied that she had had any part in the tape's public launch).

Colin Farrell and Nicole Narain: Given that Colin Farrell and former Playboy Playmate are two people we'd actually want to see get it on (as opposed to, well, many of the people who made this list), we were largely convinced that their rumored sex tape had to be a hoax. Yet somehow, it wasn't! See, sometimes the powers that be really do listen to our prayers.

Paris Hilton: Paris's tape hits the top of our list not so much for its quality (it's shot in night vision, for one thing, and Paris was never much of performer) but instead for its cultural significance. Before her flirtation with amateur porn, Paris was just a D-list party girl and hotel chain heiress; post-"One Night in Paris," she was a full-fledged C-list celebutante with her very own reality show. Using a sex tape to eke out a modicum of fame and launch oneself into the spotlight? Brilliant. (Oh, and there's also the matter of Paris's sexploits hitting the newswires the same day that Fleshbot launched—five years ago today! So maybe we're a little sentimental? It happens.)

Bonus Scandal! Dita Von Teese: Lovely Dita didn't so much make a "sex tape" as star in some arty lesbian fetish porn—but hey, the video was hot enough (and the scandal hyped up enough), that we had to include it somewhere. It also wins points for generating one of the best headlines ever seen: "Dita Von Teese had sex with a shoe." She sure did.

What made the actor shout "I FUCKING LIVE ON PORN!" and "Aw, the battery's dead...so is my fucking cock" while copulating in a depressing Valley one-bedroom? The answer, it may not surprise you to hear, was that he was totally high and turned on by the taboo of the camera. Still, Farrell claims that he has learned one valuable lesson: it's fine to make a sex tape, just don't leave it behind when you straggle out to the Albertson's on Ventura at 5am for a Hot Pocket and some lube.

• Colin Farrell On Rehab: I Was Dying [HuffPo]

Part 1: How Pamela Anderson Ruined Sex
You may remember, especially you craven young men, that in 1998 Playboy posette and Baywatch star Pamela Anderson was filmed by her new husband, Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, while they did the nasty on some sort of houseboat. Her iconic status at the time, combined with the sheer amazement over Lee's substantial manhood, created what was really the first modern sex tape craze. Perpetuated by the newly discovered internet, the tape became an international phenomenon. It's not just that everyone heard of it, everyone saw it, too. Both Anderson and Lee still enjoy some strange mutation of fame, though they've long since separated and gotten back together and separated again and gotten back together again, etc. What this tape really did, aside from aid these two people, was ruin sex by finally and viscerally commodifying it. Sure there has always been pornography, but this was something different. Famous people who were not hardcore porn actors, but regular (albeit frequently nude on Pam's part) celebrities. Famous people, however (un)intentionally, caught while engaging in the most basic and carnal animal harmony. And now, without the nuisance of seeming like a hooker or a porn star who entered into the act with the intention of making money, one's lovemaking could at some point turn a profit. And the public was both more interested in and more perilously desensitized to the whole idea. Some fourth wall cracked and crumbled that day, opening a hole through which slithered a whole different dimension's worth neo-celebrities.

Part 2: How Paris Hilton Ruined Celebrity
Encouraged no doubt by the crazy zeitgest of the Anderson/Lee tape, budding socialite and headline-grabber Paris Hilton recorded her sex-making with famous dater-of-trashy-celebrities Rick Salomon. It was first leaked, in 2004, onto the internet by (public opinion seems to hold) Mr. Salomon and Hilton initially tried to block it from being released. But, you know, then she saw that it was popular and said 'fuck it' and agreed to its release and now makes money off of the tape, which was eventually titled One Night in Paris. And that, really, was that. Hilton was, yes, already sorta famous, but this sent her into an entirely new strata of celebrity. Suddenly she was the infamous darling of late night jokesters and burgeoning gossip bloggers. Her name was even co-opted by Mario Lavandeira, who assumed the identity Perez Hilton to start his odious gossip rag in 2005. And that's where the already-rickety wheels of the celebrity-industrial complex began to spin off and clatter down the mine shaft ahead of us. An entirely new set of rules about how famous people are made and what keeps people famous and Why We Care was beginning to form, all because Hilton seemed to be becoming one of the most famous people in America simply because she wore pink clothes and let some grody guy from Neptune, New Jersey fuck her with the nightvision on. She possessed no discernible talent other than the uncanny ability to make people, against their better judgment, pay attention. She rewrote the manual, and many other people would follow.

Part 3: How Kim Kardashian Ruined America
And then came Kim Kardashian, whose mother is married to athlete Bruce Jenner or something. She had a large butt and was dating Ray J, the little brother of former celebrity Brandy. She and Ray J boffed in like 2007, I think, and the tape was released. And oh my god. Kim was so freaking mad that she sued the company, Vivid Entertainment, that released the tape. Eventually she dropped the lawsuit and settled for a measly ol' five million dollars. And then. And then she became famous. She was on red carpets and people talked about her and she embarrassed herself on The View (just like a real celebrity!) and she got her own reality show and somehow helped make her even less interesting sisters sort-of-famous, too. Where Paris Hilton developed a coy relationship with magazine creations of this bleak new millennium like Us Weekly and InTouch, teasing things at them to keep everyone interested, Kardashian just barnstorms through things, ass-bellowing and demanding attention for the stupidest of events and occurrences, flaunting the fact that, to paraphrase Soup host and possible savior of pop culture Joel McHale, she is famous simply for having a big butt and a sex tape. So how does this large-caboosed blip on the radar get blamed for the ruination of these United States? Well, maybe she and her sex tape didn't necessarily ruin it themselves, but they do represent everything that is wrong and broken and bankrupt and ill of this "uh oh, everyone put your goggles on!" experiment. Kardashian's success proves that Hilton's new rules do, in fact, work in some inexplicable way. And, more importantly, the whole boondoggle suggests that many of us care (even if we're doing it ironically, we're still paying attention) as much, if not more, about the frivolous self-exploitation of a stranger's body as we do about fractious and dangerous political landscapes, about holes we've torn in the very fabric of the sky, about people dying from all imaginable kinds of neglect. Nah, we're too busy watching Access Hollywood scream at us that Kardashian cut her toe in a New York City hotel room (this was an actual top story) to pay attention to the fact that the rug, upon which they (and we) are fucking for the camera, is being pulled out from under our sweaty, writhing, desperate selves.

So let this Britney tape—the Holy of Holies, the culmination of all things—sing us sweet tidings of eternal rapture. Or damnation. Or whatever. I just can't watch any more promos for Dancing With the Sex Tape Stars.

ADNAN GHALIB, the British pap whom she dated during her breakdown, says he WILL sell the tape for the right price.

He told Heat magazine: "There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries.

"Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further."

An unconfirmed source claims the two-hour X-rated footage features Britney naked wearing just a pink wig and was allegedly shot in Mexico.

Adnan added: “I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney."

Well, how kind of him! We supposed it's hard to be shocked by Ghalib's betrayal, given that it's his job to sell footage of celebrities in incriminating positions, but we do wonder what's taken him so long to put the tape on the market. Was Ghalib waiting for Spears to mount a proper comeback, or was his possible attempt to blackmail the singer met with one Cheeto-stained middle finger?

[Photo Credit: WENN]

• Adnan: I have Britney sex tape [The Sun]

“He wants to be with her all the time,” an insider tells In Touch. “It’s already getting serious.” The 39-year-old Austin Powers star recently jetted to Las Vegas with the Montreal-based beauty for a romantic weekend. On September 13, they had dinner at Strip House in Las Vegas. “They drank cocktails and were kissing,” a witness reports. “They spent every minute together and seemed in love.” [...] “He looked happy!” says an insider.

Aww! But who is this comely Québécoise, anyway? Her modeling profile reveals a predilection for gunplay and poker-chip pasties, while her Facebook profile picture suggests a flared, Photoshoppy fondness for what the porn industry colloquially refers to as 'Gina Shine. Beyond that, details are sketchy — but worry not! Once their exploits finally reach market for the holiday gift-giving season, the heavily vetted "tell-all" radio interview won't be far behind. Can't! Wait!

• Verne Troyer moves on [ITW]

Yeah, right — we've known our share of scheming limeys in our time, and that silence was clearly just a front for plotting the inevitable procural and sale of said tape to the highest bidder. And right on cue, the Paramount Pictures of celebrity sex-tape distributors made it clear what those terms might be:

Adult production company Red Light District is offering $500,000 for the rights to distribute a video of actor Josh Harnett having sex with an unidentified female friend in a London hotel library. ...

“[W]e encourage the owners of the tape to bring it to us,” said David Joseph, CEO of Red Light District. “Josh shouldn’t be embarrassed. As we’ve seen with Paris Hilton, these tapes can make a career not hurt it and since Josh is considered a sex symbol, we would expect women to help increase sales.”

We wouldn't go that far, but you could reasonably call the film a potential win-win all around: Red Light gets its masterpiece; an anonymous schlub in London gets paid; and Hartnett gets his leading-man role to end all leading-man roles. No more Black Dahlia embarrassments here — this is Dustin Diamond and Verne Troyer territory, the realm where stars are born, liens are paid and dirty sanchezes are handed out like candy. And 30 years from now? If Hartnett plays his cards right, the porn-icon treatment in Time Magazine. A guy can dream, after all — and someone out there can help. You know who you are.

• Oops! Hartnett accidentally stars in sex tape [MSNBC]
• Red Light District Offers $500,000 for Josh Hartnett Sex Vid [AVN]

Verne's killer lawyer, Ed McPherson, tells TMZ, "When you pick up a 2'8" human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts."

In the lawsuit, Troyer basically says the chick terrorized him, once picked the lock to his bedroom door, pushing away a 100 pound scooter that was used to block the door, and then throwing him to the floor."

Troyer claims his damages from all that Shrider did to him exceed $20 million.

It's a shame that what began as a simple role-play from the Love Guru trailer could end in tears and recriminations, but we admire Troyer's willingness to think big when asking for damages. However, why stop there? We encourage Troyer to drag Myers into court for a hilarious trial in which Myers would play himself, his own lawyer, the judge, and several of the jury members, each ready with a vaguely Scottish accent and a wan, outdated catch phrase.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Verne to Sex Tape Co-Star: You Beat Me, Bitch! [TMZ]

However sad it is, it seems that the aforementioned influential scene of diet pills and pointless high school ambition best exhibited by Jesse's freak-out was not as fictional as our wee tween minds originally believed. According to Vulture's sources, Dustin and his ghostwriter (i.e.: mainly his ghostwriter) will reveal all kinds of details about the "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying" that went on after Mr. Belding shut down the lights each night. As insanely thrilled we are to go and purchase a retro wall SBTB wall calendar on which we shall X out each day until the book is released, there's still a tiny part of us that always hoped Zach and Kelly never actually did the deed after "Cut!" ended the day. Nor do we want to learn the inevitable truth that Slater was on steroids. Same goes for how many rails it took to keep Lisa Turtle from transferring to rival Valley High. Oh well, it can do anything more to ruin our childhood memories than The Phantom Menace did, right?

• SCREECH WRITES 'SAVED BY THE BELL' TELL-ALL [Vulture]

And what of claims made by Shrider, like that she nearly drowned the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me star in a romantic bubble bath?

"There's no incident like that. She's coming up with things and telling media anything to make it interesting. I haven't seen everything she's done...The things she says just aren't true," he adds.

Must be awkward, then, considering the former couple still live together.

"She's still in the house," Troyer says, noting that he's taking legal action to force her out, but their situation "makes it even harder, to, you know, not strangle her."

But... how would that even work? Anyway, Troyer's pulling through with the help of friends, family and his lawyer, as well as by continued (if "dehydrated") work on films including Heath Ledger's unfinished final project, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Recalling the late actor's troubled time on set ("He couldn't sleep because he was so wrapped up in the character of Joker in Batman. ... Throughout our shoot it was the same way"), a misty-eyed Troyer nevertheless insisted Ledger was not suicidal — anything but, really, with a Ledger heart sketch eventually making the rounds as the default Parnassus crew tattoo. Troyer pointed out his own on his right hand, conveniently obscuring the small Guru Pitka likeness he drunkenly had inked during production on The Love Guru. Thank God those days are behind him.

• Verne Troyer Talks Sex Tape, Heath Ledger's Death [Yahoo!]

Which, apart from unanswered questions after the jump about Verne's junk, is the most important thing:

The state of California filed a $26,812 lien against Troyer on April 25 for unpaid taxes. Troyer owes taxes from 2004-05, according to the Los Angeles County Recorder of Deeds office.

The IRS filed a $256,551 lien against Troyer on March 26, 2007, for unpaid income taxes. He owes taxes from 2003-04, according to the Los Angeles County Recorder of Deeds office.

His side: Troyer could not be reached for comment. His former manager, Elena Fondacaro, said the tax issue is being addressed. "Some of that is false information," she said. "It's taken care of —it's being handled —I should say. It's not as bad as it looks."

But what about... you know. How does that look? Troyer's ex-girlfriend and scene partner Ranae Shrider wasn't having any part of it in an interview this morning with a DJ in Tampa; "They were together six months," her manager intervened, "So he must have made her happy." Thank God, we guess — we'd hoped to have not given our retinas for anything less.

• Tax man takes big bite out of 'Mini-Me' actor [Detroit News]
• Verne Troyer's Sex Tape Partner Speaks! [WFLZ]

Yes, that's Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple's apartment. A third party has snatched up the tape and although no deal has been made, we hear dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris' video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness.

While we are still too mortified by the sight of Verne Troyer frenching some ho to properly collect our thoughts, we will go out on a limb and say that this sex tape will certainly prove to be more exciting that that snoozer of a vid that Kim Kardashian put out. And if the publicity gods are willing, maybe this means renewed hope for The Love Guru's second weekend at the box office, after all. Then again, let's hope not. See you in Gomorrah, peeps!

• Mini-Me Sex Tape: Avert Your Eyes [TMZ]

· Crystal Castles @ The Roxy.
· Terri Cheney @ Book Soup.
· Cagematch @ UCB.
· "Ride for Arthritis Fundraiser", featuring stand-up from Jackie Kashian, Andrew Donnelly, Melissa McQueen and Clinton Pickens @ Monkspace (4414 West 2nd Street and Western).

Ha-ha! You got Shanicerolled! We love your smile, we really do.

Most sex tape rumors involving Britney Spears are either too good to be true (Colin Farrell!) or too gross to convince us to want to see them at all (K. Fed). But the latest story from the tabloids is filled with details so plausible (especially considering the then-manic Package's mental state) that we’re not so sure it’s just another fairy tale. As the National Enquirer is reporting (again, don’t judge a supermarket tab’s creds by its cheap cover):

[Adnan Ghalib] is shopping around a sex tape that was filmed during their trip January trip to Mexico...[the tape] will go down as the highest selling porn tape of all time, out selling even Paris Hilton's.

So what could Britney possibly do in the bedroom to top her fellow Bimbo Summit member’s green-eyed appearance in nightmare-vision? The eerily realistic details after the jump.

As a source who claims to have seen the tape tells the tab, "the video starts with Britney undressing...She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there. The sex wasn't particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout." Well, the image of Britney in that pink wig she favored during her American Tragedy days doesn't do much to entice us, but we do find it highly believable that sex with Spears just wouldn't be all that "kinky." We've seen her manhandle props like umbrellas before and it was neither graceful nor hot. But the kicker comes after Spears allegedly performs a striptease for Adnan, removing all her clothes save for the technicolor bob: "Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, 'Take what off? There's nothing left to take off.'" And thank goodness for that. However horrific Paris appeared as a nocturnal sex nymph in her tape, nothing puts the sails down like bald sex.

• IS ADNAN SHOPPING A BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE? [Splash News]

From: "Bryant, Matthew" [REDACTED] Date: April 17, 2008 12:50:32 AM EDT To: legal@gawker.com Subject: http://defamer.com/380219/exclusive-debunking-the-marilyn-monroe-sex-tape-hoax

April 16, 2008

By Email
Gawker Media, Legal Department
76 Crosby Street
New York, NY 10012
legal@gawker.com

Re: http://defamer.com/380219/exclusive-debunking-the-marilyn-monroe-sex-tape-hoax

Dear Sir or Madam:

I write on behalf of Keya Morgan in reference to the above-referenced post on www.Defamer.com authored, apparently, in part by Mr. Mark Bellinghaus and the website itself. Please be advised that Mr. Morgan has filed a report today with Precinct 20 of the New York City Police Department in regard to recent threats Mr. Bellinghaus' made on Keya Morgan's life in the wake of Mr. Morgan's recent successful $1.5 million brokerage-sale of a Marilyn Monroe film as reported by Reuters, The New York Post and CBS, NBC and Fox. Mr. Morgan naturally will protect himself and his business to the full extent of the law.

Further, Mr. Bellinghaus' recent publication of the above-referenced defamatory post on www.defamer.com constitutes defamation per se and subject its authors and related internet content providers, such as www.defamer.com and Gawker Media, to civil liability under New York and federal law. Mr. Morgan is a distinguished internationally-recognized manuscript and artifact expert. He has built an impeccable reputation over a decade. Mr. Bellinghaus' challenges to the film's authenticity are based on false information, self-serving analysis and speculation. Neither he nor any of his colleagues interviewed Mr. Morgan. Mr. Morgan authenticated the film based on his interviews with the owner, the son of an FBI informant, the FBI analyst who worked on the film, and his personal review of declassified documents and the film itself. Mr. Morgan's reputation and expertise speaks for itself. Mr. Bellinghaus' allegations that Mr. Morgan is engaging in a fantasy PR campaign are absurd and, most importantly, by his own admission backed up by no evidence whatsoever.

As stated, Mr. Morgan will protect his reputation and business to the full extent of the law. Please find a copy of our cease and desist letter to Mr. Bellinghaus of even date. Please retract and cease any publication of defamatory matter from Mr. Bellinghaus.

Very truly yours,

Matt Bryant
Ohrenstein & Brown
[REDACTED]
Garden City, New York 11530

From: Gaby Darbyshire
To: "Bryant, Matthew"
Date: Thu, Apr 17, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Subject: Re: http://defamer.com/380219/exclusive-debunking-the-marilyn-monroe-sex-tape-hoax

Mr Bryant,

I simply do not accept that anything written in this piece is libellous. Our source is willing to state under oath that they spoke with Mr Morgan last year and that he told them the things stated as coming from him in the article. This piece is simply a detailed analysis of the claims made by your client regarding this tape, and the writers' view of whether those claims are supported by the evidence. That's called reporting. Your client may not like the conclusions drawn, but this country believes in free speech, last I checked. The material is a matter of opinion, strongly held for sure, but not a matter of libel.

If you can point me to any facts stated that are provable incontrovertibly as facts and not mere opinion, then - as I have said - we are willing to print a statement from your client to clarify his position on those specific points. I've already offered to do that over the age of your client (provable fact, but not libellous) and his denial of making any dating claims (not provable, and not libellous either, but if your client cares about this, I'm happy to do it).

Beyond such minor clarifications, either we accept that people of strong conviction and passion for a subject can vehemently disagree about events and their interpretation of events, let them as grown-ups debate their side of the argument in a public forum as experts in their domain, and let the public decide which version they choose to believe - or we can take this matter to the courts and hash through it all there.

I'm happy to do either. Mr Morgan must decide how he wants to proceed.

Regards,

******************************************
Gaby Darbyshire
VP, Finance & Legal, Gawker Media

******************************************

From: "Bryant, Matthew"
Date: April 17, 2008 5:05:39 PM EDT
To: "Gaby Darbyshire"
Subject: RE: http://defamer.com/380219/exclusive-debunking-the-marilyn-monroe-sex-tape-hoax

Dear Ms. Darbyshire:

Thank you for your response to my letter sent yesterday on behalf of Keya Morgan. At this juncture, I advise you to seek counsel from Gawker Media's in-house attorney or, in if no such person exists, seek outside counsel.

From the outset, Defamer.com, Mark Bellinghaus and Gawker Media are accusing my client of fraud. Your headline boasts, as fact, that the film is a "hoax." The apparent editor asserts, as fact, that it was "fabricated." My client is a business man and well respected manuscript and artifact expert. Your website has not only impugned my client's honesty, integrity and profession, but has accused him of committing fraud. This is defamation, not reporting.

It should be noted that while Mr. Morgan embraces the "market place" of ideas, the freedom of the press has always ended at the expense of a third-party's rights. There is little room for an organization doing business as "defamer.com" to hide behind the legitimate press' cloak of freedom. Your self-described "Marilyn Monroe Expert" (Mark Bellinghaus) has well-documented history. Most recently, he threatened to blow up my client's home and stab him. [ED. NOTE - As of April 23, 2008, this case has been closed.] I have personally spoken to Detective Banville of the NYPD's 1st Precinct; Mr. Morgan's policy report number is 2008-001-02543. If Mr. Bellinghaus is found in NYC, he will likely be arrested. His rantings can be viewed by any reporter wishing to verify him as a source at www.marilynmonroeforall.com as a "cyber-harasser" and self-proclaimed Monroe expert. Your website relies on this man as an expert and touts, as fact, his warped conclusions founded in delusion and animosity. We believe goes well beyond mere defamation and constitutes harassment or criminal menacing. For the record, your claim that this is legitimate reporting rings false — Mr. Morgan adamantly denies ever granting an interview to any such self-proclaimed experts. Further, your reporters cannot even ascertain Mr. Morgan's correct age and the allegations regarding his romantic goings-on are simply false and inserted to further harass and injury my client's business and personal reputation.

Unlike other recent on-line defamation cases where anonymous users post on third-party interactive web-sites, defamer.com controls its own web-site and contributed to this content by identifying these alleged expert sources citing their conclusions as fact. We again invite you to seek legal counsel and protect your own business' interests by distancing yourself from Mr. Bellinghaus and his cohorts. Feel free to post this letter as Mr. Morgan's reply to your invitation below.

Very truly yours,

Matt Bryant
Ohrenstein & Brown
[REDACTED]
Garden City, New York 11530

UPDATE (April 18, 2:36pm):: Here is a link to a statement Mark Bellinghaus made on his blog in regards to Mr. Bryant's letters to us.

UPDATE (April 23, 4:21pm): We just received word that the NYPD has closed this case.

To that end, Defamer worked with a trio of Marilyn Monroe experts in an effort to get to the bottom of Keya Morgan's outrageous claims. The team of Mark Bellinghaus (one of the foremost Marilyn Monroe experts/collectors in the world), Ernest W. Cunningham (author of The Ultimate Marilyn) and freelance journalist Jennifer J. Dickinson to put together the following piece. It's one of the longer pieces that we have ever published at Defamer, but we think that it's well worth your time. And with that, please enjoy. — MDG

DEBUNKING THE MARILYN MONROE "SEX TAPE" HOAX
By Mark Bellinghaus, Ernest W. Cunningham and Jennifer J. Dickinson

On June 26, 1952, Marilyn Monroe testified in court (as pictured) to protect her own reputation from accusations that a mail order pornography ring was selling pictures of her and that she was a participant in this process through solicitation of sales by letter writing. Along with her attorney, she debunked these claims and the pictures themselves, and the two men who created this scam were found guilty of misdemeanor charges, and Marilyn Monroe's name and reputation were cleared.

Nearly 56 years following her own victorious court appearance, Monroe's name is once again being affiliated with a fabricated pornographic claim. Now it is time to have the name Marilyn Monroe cleared once again of false allegations.

Keya Morgan, 38, New York City based memorabilia collector, has spawned a rumor of 16 mm film footage said to be Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex with an unknown male participant in the early 1950's when she was just a starlet. Morgan claims that this is an illicit copy of an FBI classified film of which a copy was made before the original was confiscated by the Feds. According to Mr. Morgan, he brokered the sale of this claimed 15 minute lasting reel to a wealthy New York Businessman for $1.5 million.

"You can see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe," said Morgan—"she has the famous mole. She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant."

The happy buyer of this supposed film chooses to remain anonymous but says he has no plans to market the tape. Morgan states: "He's just going to lock it up."

This tale of the sex tape follows on the heels of last month's Marilyn scandal, in which a fellow in Las Vegas called a news conference to display an unknown photo of nude Marilyn, but it turned out to be just nude Madonna. Please click here and here to read our reports on this story.

The real "Marilyn Monroe Nude" pictures are well-documented. She posed nude on red velvet for photographer Tom Kelley on May 27, 1949—photos that showed up for years on calendars and in lawsuits. Lawsuits for obscenity usually turned out to be the Kelley nudes, and were dismissed.

About this same time a short nudie film called The Apple, Knockers, and the Coke Bottle, began making the rounds. It's composed of grainy footage of a bare-chested young woman amusing herself -she's Arline Hunter, a Marilyn lookalike but clearly not Marilyn.

When a journalist or a tabloid show stumbles over a nude photo or nude film footage, the immediate response is usually Marilyn! Or Unseen Marilyn! Or Nude Marilyn!

But if it's not a Tom Kelley red velvet photo or Marilyn in the "Something's Got to Give" nude swim, then it's Arline Hunter and her apple.

If it's none of those, then it's pornography, and it's not Marilyn. She didn't go there.

There are too many holes in the Keya Morgan story. Having talked with Mr. Morgan in our own interview over the phone in the summer of 2007, he spoke quickly and non-stop of his planned television documentary, of conspiracy theories into Monroe's death, and about his alleged friendships with all three Monroe husbands. He claims he was one of the last people to speak to James Dougherty and gave the similar scenario about Dougherty's final words as has been rumored about Joe DiMaggio - that both former spouses on their deathbed spoke about seeing Marilyn on the other side.

In general Mr. Morgan was a name dropper, especially when it came to those notorious for supporting the conspiracy theories involved with the story of Marilyn Monroe. However, he wove into our conversation his claim that he dated Mariah Carey and Renée Zellweger.

The most recent sensationalism of this supposedly existing film footage generated by Mr. Morgan, ties in with the usual opportunistic conspiracy theories that are out there. What Keya Morgan is promoting equates to questionable stories generated simply to sell another book or push another cheesy documentary. Just looking at Mr. Morgan's cast list is enough to know that this is more of the same conspiracy rehash. There's John Miner, Jack Clemmons and Thomas Noguchi, who have changed their stories over the years and cashed in on the various Marilyn Monroe murder theories by being featured in books, articles and television specials.

Keya Morgan went on and on when we were on the phone, speaking of this usual cast of characters. At the time of our conversation with him, we immediately discerned that he was one of them only out to exploit Marilyn Monroe and to come up with something new to fuel the rumor mill of her life.

Yet Keya Morgan claims he would not have gotten his name involved in this latest story, if there was harm to Marilyn Monroe. But he is already too late - Keya Morgan himself is causing harm to the legacy of Marilyn Monroe by creating this outrageous and absurd fantasy (he did not participate in it—he created it!).

There are a few questions that one must immediately ask, the litmus test that proves Mr. Morgan's story about the supposed sex tape to be as bogus as the one caused by the perpetrators against Marilyn Monroe in 1952.

· The film was supposedly made of Marilyn Monroe as a starlet. If filmed in this time period of Monroe's life, why would the feds have cared about the activities of a young starlet, considering that Marilyn Monroe had not reached the heights of fame at the time this footage was claimed to have been filmed?

· "You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous mole." This is a quote by Keya Morgan, which is one of the flimsiest pieces of evidence ever presented. Just because this alleged film has a person with a mole, it's instantly Marilyn Monroe?

· Essentially Morgan is claiming that this is a bootleg copy of a classified FBI film. So if an original is classified, why would the FBI allow this public brouhaha in the press and not stop this sale from taking place? Why would this film copy not be destroyed?

Keya Morgan claims to respect Joe DiMaggio (it is alleged that DiMaggio tried to pay the informant $25,000 for the film and the offer was refused), and Marilyn Monroe even greater. Then why would Mr. Morgan allow this sale considering his "respect" of DiMaggio and Monroe? If he was such a collector looking to protect Marilyn Monroe especially, why would he not keep this supposed film safely in his own collection?

Stay tuned, but you're sure to learn nothing new from the Keya Morgan upcoming documentary, except the usual repetitive death theories (namely, that she was murdered). And Keya Morgan's time in the spotlight for this recent spin is nothing more than an opportunity for him to do just that - soak up some extra time in the limelight with his invented story about a fake flick, at the expense of the legacy of Marilyn Monroe.

Mark Bellinghaus is the leading Marilyn Monroe expert and official expert witness in the Queen Mary/Marilyn Monroe fraud Class Action Lawsuit; Ernest W. Cunningham is the author of 'The Ultimate Marilyn' and plaintiff in the Queen Mary/Marilyn Monroe Fraud Class Action Lawsuit; Jennifer J. Dickinson is a journalist based in New Jersey and a mother of two.

[Photo: Marilyn Monroe, pictured with her attorney on June 26, 1952 testifying in her own defense in Los Angeles Court, when there were accusations that pictures of her were being sold in a pornography ring. It turned out that the accusations were bogus, as were the pictures, and two men who created this scandal were found guilty.

Credit: The Mark Bellinghaus Marilyn Monroe Collection]

The 15-minute, 16mm film, dated around the early '50s, apparently stars a "smiling" Monroe servicing an anonymous subject; New York memorabilia collector Keya Morgan, who recently sold the movie for $1.5 million, is said to have tracked it down through some investigative work that went all the way through the FBI:

The feds eventually confiscated the original footage - but not before [an] informant made a copy of it, which is what was just sold by his son, Morgan said.

There are heavily redacted, declassified FBI documents talking about a "French-type" film. They state the informant "exhibited [to agents] a motion picture which depicted deceased actress Marilyn Monroe committing a perverted act upon a unknown male," Morgan said. ...

According to the documents, "Former baseball star Joseph DiMaggio in the past had offered [the informant] $25,000 for this film, it being the only one in existence, but he refused the offer.

"Source advised that [redacted name of the mole] informed them that he had obtained this film prior to the time Marilyn Monroe had achieved stardom."

Which is where we're kind of lost. As noted this morning by Jeffrey Wells, Monroe already had a career going by 1950; the Post story cites other documents stressing that FBI director J. Edgar Hoover sought "in the mid-'60s" to prove the unidentified man was John F. Kennedy or Robert Kennedy, placing its provenance even later. That sprawling timeline, along with the fact that publicity-loving Morgan and his alleged buyer — identified only as a "wealthy New York businessman" — are the only ones who've seen the film, leave us a little skeptical. No one in this day and age would would think to perpetrate a sex-tape hoax, would they?

• HARDCORE MARILYN [NYP]

As AOL Music reports, Shakira and de la Rua, who've since broken up, apparently recorded the on-yacht sex session with a third party, Spanish pop star Alejandro Sanz. Were that true, that would make this as-yet-unreleased tape way pornier than your standard celebrity sex tapes. But the story only gets more sordid once we learn the route this tape has taken into the public spotlight. Apparently, two of Sanz' ex-employees are under prosecution for stealing the yacht which may or may not be stamped with Shakira's threesome, um, evidence. Admittedly, we're no Sam Donaldson (or even Chris Hansen), but we're pretty sure this joyously means that all contents found on the yacht will eventually be presented to the court. And considering the way Hollywood sex scandals tend to dissolve, those contents will eventually be posted on this site. As soon as possible. We promise.

• ALEJANDRO SANZ, SHAKIRA AND BOYFRIEND IN SEX TAPE SCANDAL [AOL Music]

A source, who overheard the rant, said Lindsay was screaming: I can't believe you would ever f***ing do this to me, I should have listened to everyone. I should never have f***ing trusted you."

The Mean Girl continued: "It's everywhere now, all over the net, everyone's seen it, how f***ing could you?"

Alas, as we now know, he would have if he could have. Really though, with our scandal-starved eyes scanning even for the secrets of Gossip Girl/NSYNC alum bromance, we must now leave this mess behind us until the next pixelated, would-be-starlet blow job compels a more robust visitation of the evidence. Or until later this morning, whichever comes first.

• Lohan rant over Best sex tape [The Sun]

While the 21-year-old did date Calum last year, his publicist is now setting the record straight. "It's not Calum, " his rep tells In Touch. "If it was Calum we would have it shrink-wrapped and put out onto a DVD for Christmas," he adds. "Believe me, it's not him. We'd all be retired by now if that were the case."

Naturally, we don't believe for a moment that the representative for someone as heatedly in-demand as Calum Best would ever fully give up the thrill of planting bogus sex-tape rumors speaking on behalf of such accomplished, vigorously pursued young talent. We should all be so lucky to have a gig requiring merely one week of work per year. Don't take it for granted!

• Lindsay in Sex-Tape Scandal [In Touch]