The hidden cuss at left, by the way, is "Redonkeydick." Only 41 posts and Silverman's already been censored by Twitter.

(For some reason Silverman hasn't linked to the the re-release of her 2004 mockumentary "Pilot Season." It's pretty good, for a free eight-minute internet thing!)

[Twitter via TV Tattle]

Actual, or setup for a joke? It's confirmed, anonymously but by Us Weekly and then People, so probably as real as it gets between two Hollywood celebrities and their dualing phalanxes of "people."

In other words, they waited until after the Oscars. Wouldn't want any "plus one" guest-list awkwardness at the afterparties! (Judging from the Vanity Fair Oscar-party pic above, they both knew the fix was in.)

Namely those big old honking gay folks at Comedy Central's sister network, Logo. The curious little series, featuring comedian Silverman, her sister Laura, and whole cast of wacky characters, looked like it was going to peter out and die when Comedy Central had to—because of the economy and all—slash the show's budget by 20%. Not exactly chuffed by this idea, the producers threatened to leave. The network wanted to keep the show running, but they just couldn't hammer out an acceptable budget agreement.

Then, in swept Logo, sabers a' brandish, capes fluttering in the breeze. With the two forces combined, the show will have an even higher budget than the previous $1.1 million per episode (TV is expensive). Plus, Logo can cash in on Silverman's big fag (und hag) appeal, as well as the fact that there is a hetero-acting (sorta) gay couple on the show. Everybody wins! Especially Logo viewers (hi, you two!) who previously only had the abysmal Big Gay Sketch Show to turn to for laughs on the network, which has consistently failed to be as sexy as here! or as splashy and original as Bravo.

[THR]

This morning on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck was all bent out of shape about Phelps' bong hit, giving the tired spiel about how he's a role model and he's setting a bad example, blah blah blah. She went on to claim that since he's willing to use illegal drugs to have a good time, maybe he's open to using illegal drugs to advance his career, as though weed is a gateway drug to steroids or something. Whoopi shot her down pretty quickly, and admitted to enjoying pot.

Elisabeth's argument hinged on the fact that Phelps accepts money to endorse products. One of those is Rosetta Stone, the language-learning software, which is just about one of the most sedentary activities a stoner could enjoy, aside from watching The Wizard of Oz on mute while playing The Dark Side of the Moon. (I should know, since I've been using the program to learn Spanish.) His other sponsors, like Omega and Speedo, totally don't give a shit.

And they shouldn't, because it's silly — in my opinion, anyway — to pass judgment on those who take part in something as innocuous as pot smoking, which many believe is lot less harmful for one's body than alcohol. Besides, despite the fact that it's technically illegal, so many people smoke weed recreationally that it's not all that taboo. Here's a list of celebrities who have either been caught smoking marijuana, or admit willingly to doing so.

Woody Harrelson



Woody is an activist for the legalization of marijuana and hemp.

Willie Nelson



So is Willie Nelson.

Frances McDormand



Frances McDormand was on the cover of High Times in May 2003, in which she said, "I'm a recreational pot-smoker. There has never been enough of a distinction between marijuana and other drugs. It's a human rights issue, a censorship issue, and a choice issue."

Seth Rogen & James Franco



The pair stared in Pineapple Express together, and shared this maybe real/maybe fake joint on stage while presenting an award during the MTV Movie Awards last summer.

Cameron Diaz & Drew Barrymore



Also friends who share.

Justin Timberlake



Timberlake, who used to date Diaz, has been very open about how he smokes weed, sometimes even with is mother. He also admitted that he was stoned out of his mind when he was Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher.

Kimora Lee Simmons



Kimora Lee Simmons took one of the stoniest mugshots after she was arrested in 2004 for possession.

Nicole Richie



Nicole admitted to having smoked pot, as well as taking a Vicodin, when she was arrested for a DUI charge in 2007.

Paris Hilton



Nicole's buddy Paris' reefer madness has been well documented.

Michelle Phillips



Former singer from The Mamas & The Papas said as recently as 2001 that, "Marijuana should definitely be legalized. I think we should let everyone smoke it without fear of being thrown in jail. It's the greatest drug in the world!"

Snoop Dogg



Duh.

Redman



We'll be here all day if we start listing rappers.

Lil Wayne



But we'll mention Wayne for good measure.

Mariah Carey



Mariah is such a goody-two-shoes that she'd never publicly admit to marijuana use, but on her most recent album, she made plenty of weed references.

Charlize Theron



Academy Award winners like their weed, too.

AARP



In the summer of 2005, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) hosted a smoke-in to promote the legalization of marijuana. Celebrities that participated: Willie Nelson, Woody Harrelson (obvs), Bette Midler, Santana, Chicago, David Crosby and Graham Nash, Rod Stewart, The New Jefferson Starship, Tony Orlando, Ringo Starr, Tommy Chong, Snoop Dogg, and Robert Downey Jr.

Matthew McConaughey



When McConaughey gets loose, he does so with bongos.

Dionne Warwick



Her work with Burt Bacharach was way too mellow to not be under the influence.

Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown



They've got "Something in Common."

Sarah Silverman



Sarah speaks favorably about weed in her act, and smoked with Doug Benson in his movie Super High Me.

Doug Benson



Comedian Doug Benson has centered much of his career around pot.

Oliver Stone



He has the perfect name for someone who's been busted for pot on numerous occasions.

Dawn Wells



Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island was arrested last year for possession.

Dave Chappelle

The Pointer Sisters



Oliver Hudson tells a story about his first concert-going experience, during which the Pointer Sisters were getting blazed.

Paul Dinello



It's hard to watch this Strangers With Candy clip about smoking pot without thinking that writer/actor Paul Dinello believes what he is saying.

Barbra Streisand



In a 1972 Rolling Stone interview, Babs said, "I'd take out a joint and light it. First, just faking it. Then I started lighting live joints, passing them around to the band, you know. I was great, it relieved all my tensions. And I ended up with the greatest supply of grass ever. Other acts up and down the Strip heard about what I was doing - Little Anthony and the Imperials, people like that - and started sending me the best dope in the world. I never ran out."

Phelps Backed by Sponsors After Marijuana Photo [TCPalm]
Elisabeth Hasselbeck disses Michael Phelps; Whoopi Goldberg: 'I have smoked weed' [EW]

Asked about the incident by the NY Post, the comedian insisted the show was a rousing success, a reciprocal love fest between performer and audience that was unfairly spun by the media into a public relations disaster. As evidence, Silverman cited Defamer's own post. (She knows we work in our boxers out of that giant laundromat/Starbucks thing in Echo Park, right? OK—just checking.) She explains:

England was bizarre - I had the time of my life and the live show was a blast - the crowd was fantastic and I fell in love with them. Then I woke up the next morning and every reviewer said I got booed off the stage and bombed. I honestly thought I was being punked. BELIEVE ME I know when I bomb - I've bombed a billion times in my life. It was literally the opposite.

I wish I DID bomb there, at least all this press wouldn't be so frustrating. Defamer posted a video someone took with their phone from my encore (I went back out and just shot the s—t for a bit. It was really fun - something that can only happen live, you know?) and you can see that I'm doing well. I never thought I'd be happy someone videotaped it and posted it on youtube!

One thing I did learn was that on the ticket it said doors opened at 6:30 - which is when the theater had me arrive for sound check, which is lame. Also, I just found out the show was slated in the ads to be 2 hours long, and my show is one hour. I feel terribly that the crowd was misled - that is lame. As for my material, it's half and half. Half old half new. I'm not a machine — I'm working on my show 15 hours a day for 8 months of the year. So please, don't come if you want to see all new material!!

We're happy we could do our part to restore Sarah's reputation as the undefeated Jewish Shock-Comedy Princess of the World, a favor she can repay by agreeing to submit to a round of Defamer 20 Questions over a nice plate of kneidlach soup at Canter's. You know where to reach us, Sarah.

• SARAH SILVERMAN: FULL Q&A [Defamer]

After some loaded, pause-laden banter, Kimmel unveiled footage of a teenage Sarah (just look at that cute little punim!) singing her heart out. Though Silverman was initially horrified by this blast from the past, the clip eventually became a running joke that both comedians cued up when things got a little too frosty. Would that we all had such an option, but here at Defamer, we doubt that even the old VHS of us belting "Tell Me Something Good" (at age 10!) could get us through an awkward, P.F. Chang's-set reunion with some of our exes. Sarah? Jimmy? Good luck with your post-breakup journey, you crazy kids.

• Jimmy Kimmel Live [ABC]

You won't be able to hear much of what Silverman is singing, or the audience is shouting, but the sheer volume and frequency of the laughter suggests, to us at least, that the blatant anti-Silvermanism in the auditorium wasn't nearly as virulent as in the reports. Still, 40 minutes for a hundred bucks' worth of U.S.-made baby-harvesting jokes, we suppose, would sour our salad cream too.

Bonus video: Silverman also appeared on Jonathan Ross's talk show Friday night. The Daily Mail reported she "bombed" there, too, but we watched the appearance and found her pretty funny—particularly in the following clip, in which she fondles a giant, two-dimensional Ricky Gervais, then gets accused of having "hairy tits."

• Silverman heckled at London gig [BBC]
• Sarah Silverman Encore London [YouTube]

So enough already, Hollywood! After the jump, find eight dos and don'ts to keep in mind when striving for the perfect celebrity PSA. You have four years to practice — on your mark, get set, go.

1. DO let Jonah Hill host more PSA's on his own. As much as we appreciate the condescending, autoerotic flavor of Di Caprio, Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore and a cast of elite thousands, this Declare Yourself ad proved that all it takes is an actual sense of humor about drugs, abortion and the economy to stir potential interest in the issues.

2. DON'T leave the Latino vote to Carlos Mencia, Cheech Marin and co. At least with Cheech around, however, Mencia can't steal Jonah Hill's jokes.

3. DO emphasize Justin Timberlake if you have a choice between him and Jessica Biel. He's just funnier, a better singer and there's always an outside chance of him "accidentally" pulling off someone's clothing.

4. DON'T give Hayden Panettiere her own spot. Especially not on Funny or Die, where she's neither funny nor dies nor so much as dings the McCain campaign she attempts to swear off — literally.

5. DO give Hayden Panettiere a spot with Jessica Alba. The "Muzzler" commercials are by far the most effective portion of Declare Yourself's multi-phase campaign to register young voters. Which is to say: We're sure the light bondage practiced on nubile, destabilizingly earnest starlets also compelled older men in the electorate to register their own "young voters" all over their keyboards. Remember, guys — you can only register once! No cheating!

6. DON'T let Anne Hathaway dance. Or anyone else for that matter. Perhaps the worst PSA of the season, this Creative Coalition spot is about as fresh as the bumper-sticker rack at a Wasilla scripture house.

7. DO pit Jews against each other. The Jewish Council for Education and Research brought on Sarah Silverman as the spokesperson for its "Great Schlep" — a late spring break of sorts encouraging young Jews to head off to Florida and convince their Nanas that Barack Hussein Obama is not the anti-Israel terrorist the GOP has allegedly made him out to be. Jackie Mason soon fired back on behalf of the Republican Jewish Coalition, smearing Silverman as a "sick yenta" over a saucy klezmer soundtrack. We hate to see such striking discord under the circumstances, but it's either this, or it's Roseanne Barr vs. Jon Voight. Which isn't a choice at all.

8. DON'T rope Blake Lively and Penn Badgley into a PSA together and not insist they make out for the Obama cause. Especially if we have to sit through the whole pasty cast of Fame: The Remake or Emo High or whatever the fuck just to get to Lively's sign-off.

Of course, this being the United States of Defamer, your own suggestion are more than welcome below. Let freedom ring — or at least be less painful to watch on a quadrennial basis.

Both videos, after the jump:

• 
  Mason vs. Silverman [Politico]

"No way!" she gasped in her seat when she heard her name called as winner. Upon arriving at the podium, she gasped, "Well, well, well! Here we go again, f—ers. Here we go again!" Looking around the auditorium, she acknowledged some celebs in the audience, adding, "Hanks, Gandolfini — what the f—! I'm not going to tell anyone to suck it. I would make love to this thing if I could."

The evening's other winners included best guest actor Tim Conway for the sweet, old (perverted, racist) writer, wandering, Studio 60-style, around the 30 Rock halls, and best guest actress Cynthia Nixon, for her character with multiple-personality-disorder on SVU. (All of the personalities were up for the same award.) HBO's John Adams took eight trophies—the evening's most—while Mad Men won the most series awards with four, including best cinematography. Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," meanwhile, took two: best music and lyrics, and best editing of clip packages, for which it tied with American Idol. She dedicated the award to the man who "broke her heart – who'll always have a place in my heart." Variety has the full list of winners.

[Photo credit: Variety]

• Kathy Griffin wins an Emmy — and shocks — again [Gold Derby]
• Emmys: 210 minutes of Creative Arts awards [Variety]

The event is a weekly comedy show called Big Terrific — which is hosted/run by Gabe Liedman, Jenny Slate, and Max Silvestri — that happens every Thursday at Sound Fix in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The full lineup was:
BARON VAUGHN
RICH JUZWIAK & TRACIE "SLUT MACHINE" EGAN (Pot Psychology)
HEATHER LAWLESS
TODD BARRY
FRED ARMISEN
SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah was super nice, and her set was hilarious.



This was taken after it was all over and Rich and I weren't bugging out anymore.



And here's the reel we showed:

The Highest of Pot Psychology from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

Our Suggestions For Jimmy:

Adam Carolla: We've never actually seen Kimmel look quite as happy on any TV appearance to date than during those beer-guzzling days of homo-erotic male bonding with Carolla, currently desperate for some much-needed post-Dancing With The Stars publicity.

Cameron Diaz: One of the co-stars of Kimmel's revenge video in which Ben Affleck managed to keep down a visible need to dry heave while millimeters away from Kimmel's mug, we've noted recently how eager the bed-hopping actress is for action. And so far, no amount of plumber butt crackage, receding hair lines, or drastic height differences have stopped her from jumping into the next bed!

Emily Gould: Any loyal reader of our siblings in snark over at Gawker are more than familiar with that epic battle between Kimmel and former Gawker blogger Emily Gould. Standing in for Larry King last year and feeling very important about it, Kimmel accosted Gould for daring to contribute to a site that caught him "drunk and talking loud" on the streets of Manhattan. But whenever we watch the clip, we can't help remembering why all those chubby little kindergarten boys would be mean to girls: they sooo wanted to take them behind the school bus and get them pregnant!

Our Suggestions For Sarah:

Seth Rogen: We don't know about Sarah, but we would have been more than a little miffed after seeing less-funny quasi-Jew Elizabeth Banks stealing her thunder by filming the (again) less-funny version of Silverman's original "I'm Fucking" video alongside the goofy and kinda Kimmel-esque Seth Rogen. What better way to kill two birds with one fuck stone than to team up with Seth and form the new and improved comedic union of uncomfortable love?

Britney Spears: Remember what we said about those mean boys on the playground? We've long suspected Silverman's borderline-cruel rant against Spears after her tragic VMA performance may have been a guise for an intense girl crush. And Britney, lest you forget, dabbled in the very chic girl-on-girl movement long before Lindsay and Sam made it "cool."

Doug The Dog: Because who wouldn't risk jail time to pucker up to this little twitchy bundle of chihuahua ass?

• IT'S OFFICIAL: KIMMEL AND SILVERMAN NO LONGER F*CKING [Vanity Fair]

The Academy has the full, looong slate of nominees, naturally, but we've narrowed our interests down to 10 easy storylines for our own Emmy dramedy — conveniently outlined after the jump!

1. Mad Men joined Damages as the first basic-cable programs to earn a nomination for best dramatic series. Its 15 other nods led the pack among all nominated dramas, while 30 Rock led all shows with 17 noms.

2. For the last time (literally), the Academy has snubbed The Wire for a dramatic series nomination. Critics at the TCA press tour will be symbolically immolating themselves by lunchtime.

3. In other snubs, FX is wondering this morning who it has to blow to get Denis Leary, Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver back on the list after nominations in 2007. Hint: It might be a bribe-friendly exec at AMC, which scored a kind-of-stunning two dramatic actor nods this year.

4. Silverman, Emmy Darling (Part 1): "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" was nominated for Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics. Silverman's competition is Flight of the Conchords and MADtv. As such, it bears saying aloud: " 'I'm Fucking Matt Damon' is going to win an Emmy."

5. Sarah Silverman, Emmy Darling (Part 2): Denied an actress nod for her own show, she earned a guest actress nomination for her turn as Marci Maven on Monk.

6. Amy Poehler's supporting-actress nod for Saturday Night Live is the first for an SNL actress since Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin were each nominated in 1978. Radner won.

7. There's apparently a formula for earning a few dozen Emmy noms: Just make a loooong historical epic like HBO's John Adams, which pulled in 23 mentions including outstanding miniseries — as Variety notes, the third consecutive year a period miniseries has drawn the year's biggest haul. Awards-bait film stars like Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney — both nominated as well — can't hurt either.

8. Come to think of it, film actresses on cable dominated dramatic categories in general, with four Oscar winners (including Susan Sarandon and Holly Hunter) and three Oscar nominees (Linney, Catherine Keener and Glenn Close) among the ten performers recognized. We presume Sally Field got Katherine Heigl's spot.

9. Speaking of whom, we're guessing ABC had higher hopes for Grey's Anatomy than two supporting-actress nominations and "Outstanding Prosthetic Makeup For A Series, Miniseries, Movie Or A Special."

10. If we must split up the reality and reality-competition categories, surely the Academy can find a way to further separate things like A&E's grueling Intervention from trifles like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Really.

• The 60th Annual Emmy Award Nominations [Academy of TV Arts & Sciences]

She is absolutely NOT banging Jimmy Kimmel. She was promoted from assistant to staff writer, and then from staff writer to head writer. Where's the controversy there? That's kinda how it works in this biz.

Also, as a matter of interest, Molly has been with her boyfriend for 3 years, and believe it or not was in Africa ministering to orphans when this story broke (that's not sarcasm, I swear). The truth is that one of Jimmy's BFFs works as a writer on the show, and Molly and another writer tried to let him go. He complained to Jimmy, got his job reinstated, and then sought a little revenge via the interwebs. The sad thing is that this is tearing Molly up.

• Previously: 'Us Weekly' Liveblogs Sarah Silverman's Post-Jimmy Kimmel-Breakup Brunch Of Despair [Defamer]

"She really looked like she was in good spirits," an observer tells Us. "She was laughing and smiling. Very animated."

But a few minutes later, Silverman - who ate organic quinoa topped with fresh fruit - grew somber and became enthralled in a heart-to-heart conversation with her pal.

"She was talking and it looked like he was listening and then advising her," the onlooker tells Us. "This went on for around 20 minutes."

Mutual friend Jonah Hill - who has appeared in comedy skits on Kimmel's ABC show - was dining in the restaurant and also stopped by to say hello.

"Jonah's appearance definitely had an effect on her," a witness tells Us. "They spoke for just a minute. And after he left, Sarah looked momentarily pensive."

We'll spare you their breathtaking coverage of what Silverman's eyebrows were doing when she asked for a coffee refill, and analysis of the sounds coming from the women's bathroom (muffled sobs, streaming liquid) after she briefly excused herself from the table. The last thing anyone wants or needs after a difficult breakup is to have their every move scrutinized—particularly any pensiveness one might experience after a close friend with romantic designs offers, "You want a shoulder to cry on? Or a funny shlub who actually knows what he's doing in the sack? You call me, Sar. Enjoy the quinoa. Works wonders on the colon," before smiling empathetically and sailing out the doors.

• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman Split After Five Years [usmagazine]

In today's installment: Janice Dickinson, Quentin Tarantino, Ellen Page, Sarah Silverman, Jason Schwartzman, Scott Speedman, Gene Simmons, Kristen Bell, Rachel Zoe, Adam Levine, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Stacy Keibler, Reggie Bush, Dave Holmes, Holland Taylor, Busta Rhymes, and Lil Wayne.

Tuesday, April 1
· Beverly Hills Post Office, Main Branch: Stacy Keibler in line ahead of me, and Holland Taylor in line just behind me. Both women were gorgeous in everyday makeup and neither seemed at all "above" standing in the ridiculously long line with the regular folks at the post office. I did notice that Ms. Taylor was sending a package to Martin Sheen; how adorable.

Friday, April 4
· 8000 Sunset, @ 9:30pm: Quentin Tarantino sits not inside the arthouse cinema but instead on the newly installed tacky "patio furniture" of the renovated plaza. Talks with a Lisa Loeb look-alike, but she has long black hair, and is not an actress type. They sit next to each other, but facing, on a park bench. Tarantino wears no hat, a black leather jacket, jeans, & black Asics soccer style low tops with white socks that I can see because of his awkward bench positioning. All I hear him say is a rat-a-tat-tat "Yeah, yeah, ..uh huh, of course" while jutting his chin out as Loeb-alike talks. Both hold paper coffee cups. The HQ for TMZ is in the same complex - I was hoping they would look out their window.

Saturday, April 5
· West Hollywood 7-11 on La Cienega and Holloway @ 5:50am: I ran into Busta Rhymes. He was riding shotgun in a red Cadillac CTX. (the 2 seater) His buddy bought a newspaper and he looked at a people magazine and contemplated buying batteries. I was buying Gatorade and coffee. I walked up to him and said "Bus a bus?" He did not respond for a second, I thought he might be talking to someone via Bluetooth. It was only him and I and the cashier. So I said "Busta of flipmode squad" He then turned toward me and laughed, said yes and gave me a bro's handshake then walked out.

Sunday, April 6
· Brewery Art Walk: Scott Speedman wandering about alone, looked confused, cute but much stockier in person than I would have expected. Still maintain Felicity should have ended up with Noel.

· Tampa International Airport @ 6pm: I had been to the NCAA Women's Final Four, aka Lesbian Super Bowl. I stopped to get a meal at TGI Fridays to help my hang over and lo and behold at the bar I see sex god (?) Gene Simmons! He was conspicuously leaning on the bar, facing out, scanning the restaurant. I couldn't get over his ridiculous hair.

Monday, April 7
· Hollywood And Highland: Treating some out-of-town relatives to the sight of other people's out-of-town relatives staring at the sidewalk, I took refuge at the Sephora. As weekend celeb sightings are rare, particularly at touristy places, I was a bit stunned to see Sarah Silverman browsing the skin care section. She looked just like she does on television, which is... or is not... a compliment.

· Beverly Center Chipotle @8pm: Reggie Bush. Short and stacked. Pretty sure the black on black Bentley in the fifteen minute parking was his. Unfortunately it can't compete with my '92 Subaru.

· Red Lion: Dave "I Wanna Be A VJ But for Some Reason Jesse Camp Won that Show but now he's working at a pet store or so I heard" Holmes was at Trivia Night (and even on the winning team). I don't know if they showed up especially for trivia or just happened to be there. He was with a group of about 12 completely average seeming people, including one guy that must have been his brother because they had the same vaguely smug but disarming look about them.

Tuesday, April 8
· Mani's on Fairfax @ 8pm: Saw Jason Schwartzman grabbing something to go from the bakery. Cute, short, almost as exciting as the delicious piece of cherry pie I was devouring mid-sighting.

· Graumann's Chinese Theater: I'm at Graumann's Chinese theater and I'm about 93% sure I am sitting behind Janice Dickinson. I have not seen her face, but she keeps yelling at the ads before the movie. Now I'm 100% sure. She keeps commenting loudly after every trailer. This was so worth the 11.50 per ticket. When she walked out of the theater she said "yawn" loud enough for pretty much everyone to hear. Awesome. Whore...she's also totally skeletal and ate two buckets of popcorn then left for a while. Bulimic coke whore...."

· WeHo Trader Joes, afternoon: i was in weho trader joes yesterday afternoon and i heard this woman on the phone talking loud and it bugged me so i looked and it was Rachel Zoe in the cereal section moving to the trail mix section stuffing her basket and talking but that wasn't the disturbing part, maybe she was feeding the homeless, not herself. but she was wearing this huge fur vest (i am not a activist but that vest could make me one) that looked like a bear was hugging her and these ridiculous shoes that she was trying to balance on and and her face was so well just so bloated looking.......people trust her to dress them?

· Hotel Cafe: Dancing With the Stars pros Mark Ballas and Derek Hough played with their band "Almost Amy." In attendance: The Cheetah Girls, Cristian de la Fuente, Cheryl Burke, Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shannon Elizabeth, Fabian Sanchez, Pasha (from SYTYCD). Derek and Shannon were looking particularly cozy after the show.

· Beverly Center Chipotle: None other than Weezy F Baby (Lil Wayne) in front of me after yet another Chipotle visit. He was in a Dodge Nitrosomething with 29s or 30s on it. I wanted to get out of my car and tell him what a huge fan I am but I was afraid of getting clapped.

Thursday, April 10
· Adam Levine, in a giant green cowl neck sweater, shorts, high socks and driving shoes; buying many spirits at Mayfair. He is slender and handsome enough to obviously not be drinking all that alone later.

· Was at the Forgetting Sarah Marshall premiere party last night, complete clusterfuck. Mila Kunis looked pretty and skinny. Kristen Bell looked pretty, skinny and really happy. Amber Heard.. skinny and wooden. Seth Green was short and friendly. The skinny guy from Superbad, the comedian with a gap in his teeth from Human Giants [Ed. Note - That'd be Paul Scheer]. Busy Phillips sort of channeling Anna Nicole. Paul Rudd - as dreamy as expected. Swoon.

Friday, April 11
· Hollywood Farmers Market: I saw Ellen Page at the Hollywood Farmers Market. She looked very Juno in a hoodie with the hood up. She was buying brussel sprouts or something similarly healthy. Good eating habits Ellen!

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

And what "IFBA" lacks in the element of surprise, it makes up for in sheer sweep, as not since Northern Lights took to the studio for "Tears Are Not Enough" has such a dazzling constellation of entertainment superstars come together in song for such a worthy cause. We defy you to watch Cameron Diaz deliver that extremely obscene hand gesture, and not feel even a little bit compelled to pick up a phone and pledge your support, that our children will never see a world in which Kimmel isn't steadily giving the big one to Ben Affleck. (Or vice versa. Despite that title, Kimmel seems the bitch in this arrangement.)

• Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Specifically, we're thinking of the episode in which Sarah had to go to dog-butt-licking rehab after getting a bit too intimate with her chihuahua-esque friend Doug. After taking the stand and convincing everyone that bestiality is chill, all charges against the fictional Sarah Silverman were dropped. So! Even if Paris didn't get a little touchy-feely with all her chompers, she should take a cue from Sarah and defend her dog addiction: "My name is Paris Hilton, and I am a dog-aholic."

• PARIS HAS TOO MANY BITCHES [TMZ]