With a 13 score on Metacritic, shooting at the very last minute past The Ugly Truth's 29 rating, All About Steve has made entertainment history, taking the title as Worst Film of the Summer of 2009.

It's amazing that after a summer like this, critics have any bile left to hurl, but our brave critical establishment, even in this last mile, has risen to the challenge of honoring this Gladiator of Awful.

Below are some of the frothing-at-the-mouth hi-lights.

Rolling Stone's Peter Travers was so broken by the experience of Steve that he could only manage to get out three sentences in his review, reprinted here in its entirety:

I don't have much to say about this unwatchable, unbearably unfunny farce in which Sandra Bullock hits the lowest point of her career as delusional, demented Mary Magdalene Horowitz, a cruciverbalist (she creates crossword puzzles) with no sex life who believes she'll find happiness by stalking Steve (Bradley Cooper), a TV news cameraman who wisely tries to avoid her. Audiences are advised to do the same. Jokes involve deaf children falling down a mine shaft.

The Boston Globe's Ty Burr openly campaigned to for Steve to get the title, calling it,

easily the worst movie of the week, month, year, and Bullock's entire career. It is to comedy what leprosy once was to the island of Molokai: a plague best contemplated from many miles away.

Mary is supposed to be adorable. She's not. She's possibly the most irritating character I've ever encountered in a Hollywood movie. Five minutes in her presence produces only a searing pain in one's frontal lobes and a primal flight response. The other characters understand this. Why don't the filmmakers?

The Onion's Nathan Rabin valiantly searched for traces of good, before lowering the sword:

Steve had the potential to be a sly deconstruction of romantic comedies, which have long posited stalker-type behavior as adorable, but the film isn't interested in clever meta-commentary. It's ultimately neither romantic comedy nor anti-romantic comedy, wandering so far off course that it's hard to tell exactly what it is, beyond a self-infatuated quirkfest populated by three-legged babies, deaf children stuck in abandoned mines, and a potential love interest for Bullock, played by DJ Qualls, who makes apple carvings that look like celebrities' faces.

More than a few mourned the fall of their beloved Bullock. The Washington Post's Ann Hornaday moaned,

In her other, better movies Bullock has managed her characters' inevitable transformations with her wry, self-deprecating aplomb intact. No such luck in "All About Steve," where a little bit of dignity is crushed with each step of Mary's red go-go boots. What was Our Sandy thinking? Will she ever come back? "All About Steve" is a puzzle, all right. Just one not worth solving.

Many reviews, including the Onion's, Salon's and the New York Post's single out one line of dialouge as the metaphor for all that is terribly wrong about this movie. Apparently at one point, Bullock offers a little piece of quirky wisdom, saying, "I wear these boots because they make my toes feel like 10 friends on a camping trip."

Critics also made rich use of the film's crossword puzzle theme as another metaphor for its suckiness. (Bullock plays a "cruciverbalist", i.e. a crossword maker). Variety's Brian Lowry writes:

Mary's throughout-the-movie narration gushes about the joys of crosswords, and there's a puzzle here, all right. But the only solution comes when two words (six letters) that mean "The movie's over" finally appear onscreen.

The Wall Street Journal's Joanne Kaufman writes:

Honoring the conventions of movies made for the chick-lit crowd, Ms. Bullock supplies the ruefully confessional voice-over narration. Like everything else in the movie, it is-five-letter word for lacking significance-inane.

Robert Abele in the LA Times offered more literally:

Puzzle aficionados may balk at their pastime being labeled a signpost for crazy, but "All About Steve" — a screwball wannabe that leaves one begging for the comforting embrace of a professionally made sitcom — can't get near a crossword's interlocking logic. Think the Jumble.

The NY Post's Kyle Smith, in a major feat of critical acrobatics, combines the crossword theme and the horrible line to come up with one catch-all slam:

In the end, we learn that crossword puzzles are popular because we all have an urge to fill in the empty spaces around us. That might also explain how a pile of innocent blank paper found itself besmirched and degraded with dialogue like, "I wear these boots because they make my toes feel like 10 friends on a camping trip."

Congratulations critics. Steve may have taken home the gold, but in taking us inside suckiness as we've never been before, you are the true heroes of this day.

Now: The Blind Side is a book that's primarily about the evolution of football strategy and the players recruited to execute it. The book has a sub-story: not so much a sub-plot, because it's so patently different — but well weaved into — the book's core. It's about a rags-to-riches college football prospect who goes from being impoverished to being taken in by a rich family. Which is basically the entire conciet of The O.C..

So: why this?

There are so, so many ways to make a great movie out of this book that walks the line between emotional and cerebral, between a rabble-rousing sports film and a heady one. A few examples: Remember The Titans, Hoosiers, Field Of Dreams, A League of Their Own, Bull Durham. They could've made the good version of Blue Chips, or the uplifting version of Hoop Dreams. Instead, it looks like they turned a bestselling Michael Lewis book into an after-school special, produced by and starring Sandra Bullock.

Fox optioned Blind Side following an excerpt The New York Times Magazine published preceding the book's 2006 release. Back then, Gawker managing editor Gabriel Snyder, writing for Variety, reported on the "intense bidding war" over the property. A look back in history shows that Lewis probably expected something like this to happen to his book:

While many of Lewis' books have been optioned through the years — Warner Bros. owns rights to his breakthrough Wall Street trader yarn "Liars' Poker" but it is not in active development — none of them have reached production. Columbia is still developing an adaptation of "Moneyball" with Mike De Luca producing.

But Lewis said his hopes are higher with "Blind Side."

"The main through-story is the collision between this destitute 16-year-old black kid and this evangelical rich white couple," he said. "Of all the books I've written, this is by far the most likely to be made into a movie."

Well, we know what happened to Moneyball, Liar's Poker's nowhere to be seen, and then there's this. Not that Lewis would have a problem with it: if the film does well, his books (and the options to them) will go for even more, and he might even be able to jack up his quote for The New York Times Magazine and Vanity Fair contracts for more money than he's already getting.

If Michael Lewis didn't have any involvement with this movie — and really, does it look like he did? — he's got this racket far more figured out than some of his more uppity book writing contemporaries: leave it to Hollywood to do whatever they want to the book. The worse the adaptation, the more commercial (and thus: bankable) it'll probably be. Besides: books are always better than the movie, anyway. Why lose out on any cash?

Come to think of it, there's probably a Michael Lewis book somewhere in that line of thought.

1. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince — $79.5 million
Did you have to sit in the front row this weekend because all the cineplexes were packed with hooch-swillin hipsters and wonderment-enthusiasts? We did! But wasn't it grand (in spite of Snape's man bangs)

2. Ice Age: Dawn of The Dinosaurs — $17.7 million
What kind of fun-hating parent dragged their kid to see this CGI'd kind of dullness instead of Harry Potter this weekend? Shame on them! Is it because of Potter's pagan themes or sexually subversive undertones? It's a bewildering world when a project involving Dennis Leary is considered family friendly.

3. Transformers: Rise of the Fallen — $13.8 million
Bay's mediation on the illusory nature of plot still continues to resonate with movie goers. In the cacophony of noise and the visual abyss nestled between Megan Fox's chest orbs, the modern movie man can confront the terrifying absurdity of existence. I mean, it's tough now-a-days to get audiences to sit through an art flick so a drop to third place this week is still an admirable position to be in.

4. Brüno — $8.4 million
Aw, you guys remember Brüno? You know that hateful little mockumentary that shoved a mirror in Appalachia's meth ravaged face and said "Look! Look at what an ugly homophobic face you have!" And how we talked about it! As if it would be some kind of milestone in cinematic gay-straight relations. But now, just two weeks since Brüno's shoved his gadfly tushie in our bigoted faces, we realize that the culture has shifted beneath Brüno's Bavarian feet. Audiences don't seemed thrilled to witness others humiliated just to prove a political point.

5. The Hangover — $8.3 million
The man driven laffer continues to pull in the cargo-short set. And good for them! Warners hasn't made this much money with an R-rated summer comedy since Beverly Hills Cop — not to be confused with Beverly Hills Ninja which stared Chris Farley. Hm, is Zach Greekname the thinking man's Farley? Or is he like the hipsters' Eddie Murphy?

6. through 9. The Proposal Up My Sister's Public Enemies — various millions
Sandra Bullock's embargo on time travel movies has proved to be a wise decision with another $ 8.3 million for The Proposal this weekend. Public Enemies, Michael Mann's 2-hour love letter to boring made $7.6 million. What's Up is that Pixar is still being beautiful and rich at the box office with $ 3.1 million this weekend. And even though My Sister's Keeper, which made $2.8 million, looks like 90 minute paper cut we should all still think good thoughts about Abigail Breslin because she's just a walking glob of adorable talent.

1) Brüno — $30.4 million
While it started really strong on Friday with $14.4 million, the film didn't quite hold on the rest of the weekend, and eventually fell significantly below expectations. (Some had even hoped for $50 million). What this has to say about America and the Gays remains to be discussed in myriad thinkies on Slate or in the Times. For now, though, we'll just mention that the movie got a lousy C from CinemaScore, meaning word-of-mouth sales won't be nearly as high as they were for Borat. So a strong opening day, then a slight fizzle. It'll probably fall even more drastically next weekend.

2) Ice Age: Dawn of the Dead, Fallen Machines or Whatever — $28.5 million
Man oh man, people just love them some computer animated weird animals in weird situations saying weird things. We don't quite get why this movie is doing so well ($120 million in two weeks), considering it and its predecessors have so little aesthetic value. People just inexplicably love Ray Romano. That's the only answer. That's all it can be.

3) Transformers: Dinosaur Salvation or Whatever — $24.2 million
$339.2 million in three weeks! Egads. Is Ray Romano in this thing? Did people get confused when they saw John Turturro in the trailer and though it was Everybody's Raymond? Or, wait, I don't know any 14-year-old boys so I haven't heard much about this aspect of the movie, but does Megan Fox blow something up with her tits or something? Is that what it is? Does Megan Fox blow Ray Romano up with her tits? Wait, but then people would be mad and wouldn't want to see it. She blows Doris Roberts up with her tits, right? That must be it. That's it.

4) & 5) Public Enemies: Nothing After the Colon, Actually No Colon at All & The Proposal: Canadian and Fabulous — $14.1 million & $10.5 million
So Michael Mann's art house popcorn film lurches toward the $70 million mark, and we can't tell if that's a success or a failure! For a summertime Johnny Depp movie? Failure. For an artsy, high-def-shot crime picture with decidedly no robots or magic Explode-O-Tits? Success! Speaking of success, Sandra Bullock has trotted gamely across the $100 million line for the first time in nine years, so good for her. Crazy thing is, because now is such a different time than then, this flick is going to surpass Speed to be her biggest movie yet. I mean, Speed! That was a phenomenon! Money just means different things now. Sigh.

7) I Love You, Beth Cooper — $5 million
This Chris Columbus-directed annoyathon did decent business on 1,800 screens. It won't become some summer sleeper, we don't think, but it's not a complete disaster either. What this spells for Hayden Paneepenty or whatever's career, we're not sure. But we're scared it might mean good things. Or at least it doesn't mean bad things. Which is what we were hoping for. Bad things. Sorry. It's just... Heroes. Ugh.

There is an implication of nudiness in the trailer, but it seems to be only suggested or deftly covered-up. Lauer even cops to the fact that there's an obscuring washcloth involved. (This IMDB thread seems to confirm it's only partial.)

So why is Matt all tittery? Either he's just having an early morning chuckle because it's a rainy Tuesday and why the hell not, or Matt Lauer is very easily aroused. The mere suggestion of Bullock bits gets him red-faced and awkward. Has a longstanding celeb crush just been revealed?

Jump-cut proficient director Tony Scott has signed on to helm Unstoppable, a thriller about a runaway train that's full of dangerous radioactive goop. The engineer (Denzel? Will?) and the conductor (Dakota Fanning?) find themselves in a "race against time" to stop the goop from gooping out all over everybody. Everyone else is villains. [Variety] On-set freakout proficient director David O. Russell has signed up for The Silver Linings Playbook, based on the novel about a sadsack high school teacher who goes to live with his mom after being released from the nut house. [Variety]

Kathy Bates has joined Sandra Bullock in a drama called The Blind Side, about a hobo who learns to play football. And, to love. [Variety] Emma Stone, a future tabloid queen who we want to have a beer with will star in Easy A for Screen Gems. The comedy is about a high school student who, while reading Nathaniel Hawthorne's book-of-the-movie based on Demi Moore's The Scarlet Letter, decides to pretend she's the school slut so she'll be popular. How one only pretends to be a loose woman is unclear to us. [Variety]

Matthew McConaughey (introduced hilariously by Variety as "Fool's Gold thesp") has signed on to be maybe a little serious for once in his goddamned, sun-poisoned life. He'll play the lead in the legal thriller The Lincoln Lawyer, about an attorney made of logs. Or something. [Variety] In other encouraging movie news, presumed blockbusters like Transformers 3 and The Avengers are securing release dates even though nothing has been signed off on them, nor do they even have scripts. So. Good. [Variety]

Bet there's a money-fight going on right now at Dunder Mifflin. NBC has secured lucrative syndication deals for The Office in all 50 top markets across the US. The comedy will air on Fox affiliates this fall. [THR] ABC has cut its 13-episode order of freshman sitcom In the Motherhood to just 6 for this season. The show premiered last Thursday to low-ish (6.7 million) ratings. [Variety]

You won't have to drive over to the Ruby Tuesday's to watch fat people dating each other anymore. No, Fox is developing a reality dating show called More to Love. Fox alternative programming prez Mike Darnell says of the show, in a statement sure to haunt him in the afterlife: "For six years it's been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that's not what the dating world looks like. Why don't real women — the women who watch these shows, for the most part — have a chance to find love too?" It's true, America. Our real, fat, Bachelor-watching citizenry needs fake, sad reality show love too. Me, I'm just hoping this opens the door for Fat Real World and Fat Housewives of Fat City USA Population: You. [THR]

Meanwhile Survivor guru Mark Burnett is joining ABC in an unholy alliance to produce Shark Tank, an adaptation of a British reality show that is itself an adaptation of a Japanese reality show about rich tycoons giving struggling entrepreneurs money. In this economy! [THR]

Actress Sandra Bullock on Friday won a three-year restraining order against a woman she said had tossed animal fur over her gate, left woven palm fronds in her yard and tried to run down her husband.

The "Miss Congeniality" star told a court in the Orange County city of Westminster that the woman, identified as Marcia Diana Valentine, had left the fronds, complete with "weird signs," and "pieces of animal fur" in her yard on five occasions.

Valentine, 45, from nearby Huntington Beach, was arrested last month on charges of trying to run down Bullock's motorcycle mogul husband, Jesse James, in front of the couple's house.

She has also been found on several occasions lying in front of the couple's garage door, yelling obscenities at James, Bullock's lawyer said.

Every stalker adheres to their own signature menu of sacramental offerings, and trying to assign any logical meaning to them is typically a fool's task. Still, we were duly impressed by the eclectic mix of palm fronds, animal skins, and "weird signs," leading us to hypothesize that if the couple hadn't been so hasty in chasing her from their property, perhaps they would have come to realize that these were simply the scattered elements of an exciting proposal soliciting a ground-floor investment in Ms. Valentine's new jungle-themed fur collection.

• Bullock gets order against female stalker [Reuters]

Today, however, TMZ has obtained a letter sent out to guests of a February 7th party for Music & Lyrics informing them (including such high-wattage, buffet-hitting names like Sandra Bullock, Drew Barrymore, and Hugh Grant) that consuming the scrumptious tacos, loaded potato skins, and always-deadly peanut butter Fluffer Nutters on offer that fateful night may have put them at remote risk of infection, correspondence that was tragically delivered far too late for any concerned attendees to take preventive medical measures. While the Health Department has been less than cooperative in assisting TMZ in its quest to disseminate life-saving information about the scare, they've quietly been monitoring all potential Hepatitis A victims for signs that they've contracted the disease; the moment that Barrymore or Bullock display any symptoms, they'll be immediately rounded up and relocated to a celebrity internment camp, where they'll be forced to live out the rest of their miserable, liver-ravaged days among other jaundiced zombies in an attempt to contain a plague that could quickly decimate the city's population.

• Did the Cook Taint the Tacos? [TMZ]
• Full HepWatch Coverage [Defamer]

In today's episode: Owen Wilson; Cillian Murphy and Mike White; Tom Hanks; Jamie Lee Curtis; Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Drew Barrymore and Spike Jonze; Sandra Bullock and Jesse James; Patrick Dempsey; Reba McEntire; Jason Bateman; Sidney Poitier; Kirsten Dunst; Michael C. Hall and Rose McGowan; Donatella Versace; Albert Brooks; Nicole Richie; Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin; Kevin Connolly; Chris Eigeman; Kirstie Alley; Kevin Smith; Donald Logue and Lochlyn Munro; Kristen Bell; Jason Ritter; Fran Drescher and Eduardo Xol; Chris Robinson; Ray Wise and Danny Bonaduce.

· It's Sunday, it's warm, and the sightings are plentiful:

At the Santa Monica 4th St. stairs working out-The Butterscotch Stallion, Owen Wilson- looking pretty good, however his calves are smaller than mine (I'm female). Apparently with no one and did at least 8 flights-he was there prior to us and left 2 flights before us. A respectable amount. Perhaps the Milk Chocolate Pinto needs to take some workout cues from his brother.

At the Brentwood Market-Cillian Murphy looking pale and frail. He was with a boyfriend?/syncophant and a family celebrating one of their kid's birthday. They ordered from the hamburger place and sat in the courtyard with everyone else. The guy has lips that every Playboy girl longs to have. I fully respect him as an actor in stuff like "28 Day Later" and "Batman Begins" because it looks like an 8 year old kid can kick his butt.

Also at the Brentwood Market, smaller courtyard-the guy who was Jack Black's roommate in "School of Rock"....(imdbing now)... Mike White. OH-he was in "Chuck and Buck"! See, the BF recognized him from Rock, but I recognized him from C & B. Anyway, he was by himself also looking pale. Damn, that guy has written a lot of movies. Thanks IMDB!

· Saw Tom Hanks in his grey Honda Element in the Palisades in Friday. We were both stuck in traffic on Sunset.

Also saw Jamie Lee Curtis leaving the Palisades Starbucks around noon on Friday, she looked angry. Maybe someone put skim instead of soy in her latté.

· Apparently when I go to overpriced Italian restaurants on the westside, I will always run into Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart. Initially it was at Giorgio Baldi's, but this Saturday night, it was at Il Grano. My reservation was early on at 7:30 and they were already eating their entrees in the back booth. They had a child in tow. Perhaps it was Calista's adopted son? Either way, he looked hot despite his old man droopy ass.

· Drew Barrymore sucking face with a scrawny-looking guy who looked familiar but I had to be told was Spike Jonze at Golden Gopher downtown Fri night (3/2). She looked great actually, definitely skinnier than when she dated that drummer.They were pretty annoying, giggling and touching and making out. Then they started slow-dancing to Patsy Cline even though no one else was, but the song switched to Arcade Fire so they sat down and kissed more. A fast Beck song came on and they danced again (still no one joined) but were gone next time I passed on the way to the pisser.

· Saw Sandra Bullock and Jesse James arguing over the rightful possession of a chai latte in Seal Beach. Sandra emerged as the victor in this little Friday afternoon melodrama and everybody sighed in relief, knowing that the SandraBullock-JesseJames-ChaiTea-Equilibrium had again been restored to default levels.

Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey at the bar of Campanile on Grill "McCreamy" Cheese Thursday.

Reba McEntire trading in her Doritos for raw rolls at Koi on Saturday night. Reba was quite the paparazzi with digicam.

· On March 1st I was in the Trader Joe's on Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood and Jason Bateman was also there stocking up on a few goodies. Among the items in his cart was his self-service freshly ground natural peanut butter.

· On Sunday, March 4th I spotted Sidney Poitier shopping that the Whole Foods on Crescent in Beverly Hills. He shops there just about every Sunday afternoon. He's always alone, and wears a baseball cap and a natty-looking tweed sportcoat. He seems to go unnoticed by the other shoppers as I've never seen him sign an autograph or get recognised by adoring vegan shoppers.

· Friday, 10 am. Kiki Dunst at Fred's 62 in Los Feliz. Very skinny, but cute with converse sneaks, tight jeans, a white T-shirt and rockin' some serious fuck off sunglasses. Looked like she was waiting for someone and amused herself with a dog tied up at the next table.

· We were on our way to the Cinerama Dome to see "Zodiac" Saturday night and spotted both Michael C. Hall of "Six Feet Under" and "Dexter" and Rose McGowan (not together!) leaving the Arclight.

· On 3/05 I was in the Beverly Hills Beauty supply store, and Donatella Versace was there with two other men. All were dressed completely in black. Donatella was speaking in Italian to an enormously tall man, and there was another Brit there as well. She bought multiples of everything (she'll have 8 of those perfume candles, 6 of that shampoo, 4 of that foundation, 6 of that eye cream), before paying for everything with her American Express, saying goodbye to everyone and waiting in the alley for her purchases with the giant Italian. The Brit was left to carry out the 3 over-stuffed bags to the car (and promising to come back at closing time for the 3 remaining shopping bags.)

· Spotted Albert Brooks at his wife's gallery opening at the Taylor De Cordoba gallery in Culver City this past Friday March 2nd. He was very nice but a little freaked out by direct references to the earliest days of his film career. What, did he want me to bring up My First Mister? Who the hell wants do that? I could have bugged him for a few Simpsons quotes I guess.

· I was driving by at about 30 mph: 3/3/07 - Saw Nicole Richie at about 5:00 p.m. on Sunset Blvd. in Pacific Pallisades, CA with a young guy scruffy face brunette hair. She was wearing a butternut squash long suede coat with honey brown fur trim. If it wasn't her: she has a twin.

· Saturday, March 3rd 11:30 AM saw Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin at John O'Groat's...again! They must go there every Saturday, so if you're a fan, that's the place to be. They were with two other younger folk and two older people - maybe someone's parents?

Whit Stillman's go-to guy Chris Eigeman in the downstairs part of the Arclight on Saturday, March 3rd around 5pm, making a beeline for the loo. Looked good - lean, well-dressed.

Sunday, March 4th 2pm-ish - Kevin Connolly upstairs at JCrew picking out clothes with a very helpful salesman. Short and darling.

· Last week or so (around 2/19 or something) saw Kirstie Alley with a binder-clutching assistant type at Alcove. It was about 1:30 and it appeared they discussed the line and decided against. Kirstie looked quite attractive and normal-person svelte I must say, which is really the only reason I'm writing this one in. The woman deserves an anonymous cyber compliment. Nice outfit, Kirstie!

· Saw Kevin Smith with his daughter at Noah's Bagels on Larchmont Sunday morning (shortly after the marathon went by on Rossmore). Cute father-daughter interaction. Bizarre and inexplicable olive green coat (looked kinda like a robe) on K.S. - looked like he'd just stumbled out of bed to buy his dozen bagels.

· Granted, it's only the 2nd of march, but it must be the upcoming st. patrick's day holiday causing me to see not one, but two kinda irish-ish celebrities. first it was former "Charmed" hotness Lochlyn Munro at Panera Bakery in Studio City. Then, b'gosh and begorrah if i didn't see the omnipresent "Grounded for Life," "Ghost Rider," "Zodiac,""Knights of Prosperity" actor Donald Logue and what appeared to be his two sons, at the Studio City California Pizza Kitchen. color me green.

· Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) was sitting two rows in front of me at the Bob Seger concert last night (3/1) at the Forum in Inglewood. Not to be too stalkerish but her exact seat was Loge 7, Row C, Seat 2. She was with some dude that looked like her boyfriend without being opverly boyfriendish. She seemed to be having a good time, even sang along during "Hollywood Nights." She took some hopeless camera phone shots of the stage and did a little bit of texting. And they even managed to stick around for the very end of the show!

· I ran into jason ritter (john ritter's son) buying a lot of potato chips, I'm serious a lot of potato chips and no basket at the Brentwood Ralph's on Bundy and Wilshire. He had that celebrity look like please don't recognize who I am (but really he wanted someone to notice him). Then he paid for his chips and left in a new car - a black sports car.

· The 'Sc-Abbey', West Hollywood, Saturday 3-3-07

Nanny 'star' Fran Drescher with her now gay ex-husband Peter something.....all her irritating nasal laughter sure paid for a nice set of teeth on him

Extreme Makeover-home editions landscaper/not really good at anything else but we have to keep him, Eduardo Xol...that must explain the painfully campy-over the top-not even good for a gay guy video, he made for sundays episode.

· Just saw Chris Robinson at Whole Foods in Woodland Hills. He was buying groceries with a dread-locked tubby white guy. Couldn't see what they were buying except for toilet paper. They got in to a black Dodge Heavy Duty 4x4 truck.

· Blast from the past: Twin Peaks' Ray Wise, Laura Palmer's dad, in the checkout line at Ralph's in Glendale 3/2. Smartly dressed in a suit. Buying some kind of clear alcohol (vodka?), Doritos and toilet paper. Sounds like a helluva party. In the parking lot, saw him actually return his shopping cart to the shopping cart corral, rather than leave it in the parking lot to damage other cars, something most non-TV actors don't even do. Way to be, Ray.

· 6:45 PM, Thurs Mar 1 - Went on a "pretend we're on vacation" mid-week, mid-afternoon bar crawl down Melrose. Was walking out of Tao knock-off "Red Pearl" as a blurry twosome speed walked by us from the bathrooms to the exit....It was Danny Bonaduce tugging/dragging the arm of a kid, a blonde afro'd muppet kid dressed like a cast member from sister VH1 reality show, The White Rapper Show. The kid was 36 inches tall and nearly tripping over his Baron Davis basketball jersey dragging along the floor. Bonaduce sausaged himself in to a tight black tee, a studded leather belt with 80's fake punk spikes that you can buy at Hot Topic 7 years ago, and dark jeans...he was fingering a foil bag of "Corn Nuts" upside down by the door. The Maitre 'd asked "Where have you been lately?" Bonaduce was answering "Ah man.....I've been really deep in to....." (and sadly my earshot expired before I could hear what he has been deep in to, but I am sure it is good and narcotic related)

In today's episode: Bryan Singer; Jake Gyllenhaal; Clint Eastwood; Orlando Bloom; Oliver Stone; Lindsay Lohan and Monica Keena; Drew Barrymore; Rosario Dawson; Sandra Bullock and Jesse James; Patrick Dempsey; Kanye West; Thom Yorke; Bill Maher; Danny Masterson, Santino Rice; DJ AM and Nicole Richie; Tori Spelling; Ian Somerhalder; Anderson Cooper; Bryce Dallas Howard; Vincent Gallo; BJ Novak; Diedrich Bader; Jesse Spencer; Zelda Rubinstein; Marcellas Reynolds and Mr. And Miss Jay.

· Thursday, October 26 at about 11am
-Bryan Singer with a cadre of barely legal looking, skinny, baggy pants and t-shirted boys at Hugos in West Hollywood. I swear to God, there were a couple of them who didn't look a DAY over 15. It didn't make sense; as far as I know it IS a school day.

-Just as Singer was arriving with the boy caravan, Jake Gyllenhaal was just finishing up breakfast at Hugos. Not sure if they greeted each other.

· Tuesday, October 24th at Orso. Clint Eastwood in the back corner of the patio dining with a producer type. Very low key. Very classy. When a couple came up to him after he had finished his meal, he was very gracious, took time to talk to them and even gave them an autograph. Even my typically unimpressed boyfriend was slightly ga-ga over this sighting.

· Thursday night late @ Little Door on 3rd in Hollywood. Love this restaurant it's cute. So it must have been date night. Jake Gyllenhaal was seated next to a short sexy brunette @ a big table of friends. The two of them talked all night and were the last to leave. Marcellas Reynolds came in and joined a big table and made out all through dinner with an older German guy. My wife and I could tell he was German because all night long they spoke German and French @ the table while laughing and taking tons of pics.

· As I was leaving the Decemberists show at The Wiltern (10/21), I passed by a crowd of guys mostly in black, I kind of recognized one of them so I kept staring hoping one of them would look familiar. And lo and be hold I recognized the short greasy one: Orlando Bloom. He was wearing a fedora and chatting with some brunette, he looked pretty much the same as he does when he's 14 feet tall(minus the height).

· Just saw Oliver Stone on my elevator in non-descript building in Santa Monica. Looked typically rumpled in a "mad professor" kind of way—sport coat and glasses perched on his head. Couldn't tell if he was working on any conspiracy theories about the floors the elevator stopped on...

· Minding my own beeswax on Saturday afternoon, trying to work off the work out with a pomegranate margatini, I noticed Lindsay Lohan (dark hair, back from fashion week, apparently) and Monica Keena sitting on the patio at Basix. At the same table (not at the same table as me).

· saw drew barrymore at fred 62 in los feliz on sunday, rosario dawson sitting outside of the restaurant on monday.

· Watching the Ducks embarrass the Kings yesterday afternoon at Staples (10/22) we got to see Sandra Bullock and Jesse James smooching on the jumbotron during the famous "Kiss Cam" moment. Their on-screen kiss was tame, but once the cameras were off Bullock was in Jesse's lap for more romance.

· While on my daily commute from Santa Monica to Studio City, at about 8:45 am on Oct. 26, I merged from the 405 onto the 101 next to Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) driving alone in his McDreamy silver sports car. He looked well put together in baseball cap, white button-down shirt and dark sweater vest. My wife and I (we were carpooling) followed him all the way down the 101, jockeying for a better view, which we got repeatedly (the wife has a giant crush on McDreamy; mine is only slightly less giant). He was talking and laughing on a cell phone most of the way. I don't know if he was headed into work or not, but he seemed blissfully unconcerned about any impending rendezvous with McChokey.

· Walking around The Grove today (10/22) I expected to see some celebrity sightings. I didn't go there for that reason, I just wanted to waste a Sunday afternoon and check out all the beautiful women that the warm weather would surely bring out. I was not disappointed on both accounts. Not long after I got there I spotted Kanye West on his way out. I'm 6' tall and of course expected him to be a bit taller but he was just an inch or two shorter than me. He walked past me with a friend of his and after he passed I did a 180 and sort of followed him, just to make sure it was him. When I caught up to him he was taking cell phone pics with some kids that recognized him. Seeing that he's from the South Side of Chicago and I had my White Sox baseball jersey on I thought he might give me some mad caucasian props but I was sorely mistaken. I didn't feel like approaching him like any other fan so I just looked at him, he looked at me and continued on. He got his Mercedes (McLaren SLR) from the Valet and zoomed off. Maybe next time I'll say something to him, and maybe next year my White Sox will make the playoffs.

· I don't know if this counts because I'm not sure that the celebrity in question is lame enough to be included in this. But, my husband and I had lunch at this hole-in-the-wall trattoria in Florence on 10/21. After about twenty minutes, I look up and realize that Thom Yorke from Radiohead is at the next table. He was with a British woman and a small girl. I assume that it was his partner and daughter because the little girl looked just like him. He seemed to be a pretty friendly, down-to-earth guy. We felt really bad because we had been eyeing their food trying to figure out what they had ordered before we even realized he was at the table! (Well, it looked good and it IS Italy, after all!) He must have thought we were staring at him the whole time. No one else in the place seemed to have any idea who he was, except for a few of the younger waiters, who shook his hand on the way out. . . .And for those of you who are wondering, he is just as googley-eyed in person.

· went to see 'The Departed' last Saturday night in Culver City. we were told that it was a sold out show, and there weren't many seats left. as we walked into the theater, i saw Bill Maher walking out. guess he didn't want to sit in the front seats. he had a beautiful African-American lady with him. not sure if it was a date, or a 'date'. was kind of surprised to see him in Culver City. maybe that's where his 'lady friend' lives? and even though i know he's on the short side, still surprised by his shortness.

· Danny Masterson, Santino Rice, and DJ AM and Nicole Richie on opposite sides of the room at Mickey Avalon's free show at Dragonfly Monday night, around 12:30am

I saw Tori Spelling coming out of A Pea In The Pod one block off of Rodeo Drive, with her husband looking one step away from K-Fed style greasiness. She also looked totally pregnant, and was totally showing it off in a cute maternity top. (10/19)

· Ian Somerhalder at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market last Sunday. He is sporting Boone's newer, longer hair 'do and he has extremely skinny legs. He was walking around with a regular-looking female and seemed to go unnoticed.

· Even though this sighting was in LA it's kind of more Gawker/Wonkette but I'll go for it — this morning at breakfast at the Peninsula hotel (how fancy am I?) saw ambiguously handsome Anderson Cooper. He had on a green t-shirt, jeans and boots and his shockingly gray hair was perfect. He's really cute, not that tall and was asking the front desk for something. I told the Belvedere hostess that we wanted to sit with him and she just gave me a blank stare. No sense of humor there but since their entire staff is on the National Enquirer payroll she was probably mad that I recognized him and was going to give the scoop to defamer first.

· A very pregnant Bryce Dallas Howard. at last Friday's 8:30 showing of "Flags of Our Fathers" at the Arclight.

· While waiting for a table at Hirozen on Monday night I saw Tyne Daly (but not Sharon Gless, sadly) with a table of much younger and more attractive people. Apparently I was the only one in the restaurant whose interest was remotely piqued by the thought of Det. Mary Beth Lacey (I admit I had to look that up on IMDB) chowing down on raw fish.

· Vincent Gallo ordering a Pink Berry frozen yogurt in West Hollywood/Huntly Drive - Saturday, Oct 21st. In jeans and a tank top t-shirt. Had scruffy hair and beard. Don't get why he can't seem to find the time to do a little grooming. About 5ft 10in. with pasty thin arms. The guy could use a little color.He's definitely got the "New York" guy type of body and not a California or certainly not a West Hollywood build. Don't really want to pick on him. He seemed a little alone and believe it or not...a bit lonely looking. I know that it's not a description that's normally applied to him. He was very low key. Okay..okay...I know the guy is off his rocker but for about two minutes I have to say he did appear vulnerable. Alright for fuck sake..once the drugs wear off I'm sure my perception will clear up.

· Tuesday, 10/17 at Taiyo (the little sushi restaurant on that section of Franklin Ave west of Bronson), BJ Novak (writer and co-star of the fabulous show The Office) dining with friends. He looked up at me as I walked by with the same deer-in-the-headlights expression that his character Ryan so often wears.

· Saturday, 10/21 at Whole Foods at 3rd and Fairfax, Diedrich Bader (I know he did something post-Drew Carey, but I can't think of it just now) with his son in the freezer section. The boy, blonde and adorable, was searching through the ice cream section for his mom's favorite flavor.

· Jesse Spencer at the CD/album release part for the "Evil Bong" soundtrack at Boardners last night. The cover gave me nightmares all night.

· Saw Zelda Rubenstein, on a booster seat, in my favorite Hollywood lunch spot, The Good Neighbor on Cahuenga West, on Wednesday the 25th. I've gotten twenty five years older, but she looks exactly the same.

· Due to its proximity to The Vivid Production Centre, I'm sure there are oodles of porn queens there all the time, but didn't seem to be any that day, not that I would know...

· Shopping @ the Beverly Center on Friday afternoon and who walks by but Marcellas Reynoldss and the 2 Jay's from America's Next Top Model. Marcellas was laughing with Miss Jay but Mr. Jay didn't seem to friendly.

Sandra Bullock lost her temper at the premiere of Infamous when a reporter from one of the beloved celebrity weeklies asked if she has a baby on the way.

Bullock whipped around, got right in the reporter's face, and pointing her finger, yelled: "Oh my god that is just a disgusting question. And you know what? What if I couldn't have kids? You know what? That's the way you make women feel when you ask them that question."

It would be entirely presumptuous to assume that Bullock's defensive diatribe on behalf of the global sisterhood of barren women somehow inferred that the actress is harboring any sterility-related hang-ups of her own. Still, her impassioned response does raise the question, particularly when just minutes later she responded to an usher's polite offer to show her to her seat by snapping, "Thanks, but last time I checked, having stagnant ovaries doesn't make you go blind."

• Sandra Bullock Not Miss Congeniality at Infamous Premiere [Open All Night]

A man Sandra Bullock says stalked her across several states and relentlessly sent her faxes and e-mails was ordered Wednesday to keep his distance from the actress for three more years. [...]

Bullock, 41, has said in court papers that Weldon followed her from Michigan to Texas to California, sent her e-mails and faxes and left voice mail messages. Gesine Bullock, who works for her sister's company, Fortis Films Inc., said Weldon once called the actress seven times in two days trying to set up a date.

Of course, had Gesine contacted the authorities immediately, instead of relying on the same ineffective boy-deflecting phone tactics she used throughout the sisters' adolescence ("Hello? Um, hold on. SANDRA! It's your STAALLKER! What?! Oh! Uh, Sandra's not in right now. Can I take a message?"), perhaps these further restraining order-seeking measures wouldn't have been necessary.

• Man ordered to stay away from Sandra Bullock until 2009 [USA Today/AP]