Jackson won't likely make the trip to Germany, however, where Cheung shall make her diva descent shortly for the role of Madame Mimieux, the French cinema proprietor who, according to the Playlist, "takes in the protagonist Shosanna (Melanie Laurent) when she is homeless and being sought by the Nazis." A man whose Asian-film fetish defers only to his taste for toes, Tarantino will work around the minor French/Chinese ethnicity-disconnect problem later just for the chance to work with Cheung — and potentially finish the movie someday after first and second choices Nastassja Kinski and Isabelle Huppert reportedly bowed out of the same role.

Meanwhile, Jackson's narration will come much later, a small part whose expository whimsy served as rich consolation yesterday from old pal Tarantino after the indignity of Jackson's attachment to... we can't even say it. That's what friends are for, we guess.

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WHAT'S NEW: The first genuine Oscar-chasing release of the fall, The Duchess will likely split its viewership between pro- and anti-Keira Knightley factions before anyone bothers to acknowledge its broader, bodice-ripping appeal. So yes, Team Knightley: She deftly portrays Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, the late-18th-century heroine with the bitterly controlling husband (Ralph Fiennes), the rabble-rousing side dish (Dominic Cooper) and a surfeit of corsted, pre-feminist longing. The star and the film are beautiful, the direction assured and the awards-season creds affirmed — particularly Fiennes', whose customary wretchedness as the Duke acquires a kind of fascinating tenderness with age. If anyone should be on the Oscar bubble (besides the art and costume crew, which are locks), it's him.

Still, in limited release, Duchess isn't competing for any box-office glory; that distinction belongs to Lakeview Terrace, the not-entirely-miserable Neil LaBute thriller featuring Samuel L. Jackson as a sociopathic cop out to get the hot interracial couple next door (Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington). Against sturdy holdovers (Burn After Reading, The Family That Preys) and middling newbies (the Dane Cook slog My Best Friend's Girl, Ricky Gervais's leading-man debut Ghost Town), Lakeview will top out at $15.6 million. Cook will follow with $13.2 million; with half the screens and even less promotion, Ghost Town should still manage an even $6 million.

Also opening: Ed Harris's old-old-school Western Appaloosa; Chris Smith's tiny, acclaimed Indian excursion The Pool; the gay-conversion melodrama Save Me; the wrenching immigrant day-in-the-life tale Take Out; and the Duchess-correcting, misogynist fantasia The Pink Conspiracy.

THE BIG LOSER: You know, after we just predicted the Weinsteins would once again find their step in the multiplex, trust in Harvey to not only dump another subpar animated fairy tale on an unsuspecting public, but to essentially disown it. Such is Igor's lot, with its backers AWOL, its reviews tepid, and its voice talent (John Cusack, Molly Shannon, Steve Buscemi) trapped in a Straight-to-Flopz™ patchwork about a hunchback pursuing his dream of becoming a mad scientist. MGM is left to collect the grosses for this one, which won't break $5 million on 2,300 screens. Or, as they call it at Weinstein HQ, business as usual.

THE UNDERDOG: As members of the privileged few to have seen Hounddog in its spectacularly atrocious Sundance '07 cut ("It was unfinished!", the director screams), we long doubted not only the film's release potential, but also the redeemability of those souls who actually made it. But fair is fair, and while the reedited Hounddog remains the infamous Dakota Fanning Rape Movie — full of overripe Southern hokum comprising snakes, magical Negroes, Elvis worship and borderline inbreds — it has since obtained a sort of culty, gunpowder gloss embracing all of its wrecked potential. It's finally refined its badness enough to be good, even serviceable for at least an hour, with Fanning's vulnerability dynamically intact opposite the predatory, 'shine-swilling archetypes around her. Bonus points, however, to David Morse, whose full-retard debasement here must be seen to be believed.

FOR SHUT-INS: It's Celebrity Bomb Week among new DVD releases, including Mike Myers's stroppy folly The Love Guru; the Wachowski abortion Speed Racer; the Pacino pratfall 88 Minutes; Patrick Dempsey's rom-com Made of Honor; and at not-so-long last, the complete first season of Chuck. Aw, NBC — you shouldn't have! No, really. You shouldn't have.

So what's your Top 3? Is it a Keira weekend, or is Officer Sam pulling your ass over? And how's our math, anyway? Clear your calendars and call your shots — you're among friends here. Even you, Harvey!

In today's episode: Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson; Warren Beatty; Nancy O'Dell; Samuel L. Jackson and Tyler Mane; Bill Paxton; Adam Levine, Bob Newhart, and Frankie Muniz; Nicole Richie; Vincent Gallo; Tara Reid; Jamie Kennedy; Jay Chandrasekhar; Matt Long; James Murphy. In Montreal: Dennis Quaid.

· 6/14/2007 - 3:45pm Just saw Ashton Kutcher & Danny Masterson at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on Sunset/Argyle. Both were sporting the typically disheveled look, wearing jeans and white shirts. Danny with a fedora and sunglasses & Ashton with a Union Jack on his ass pockets. Both could use a trip to Super Cuts. They rolled out in a black on black Range Rover.

As a side note, Ashton is immensely more tall in person than you would think and looms over the average male in his own stratosphere.

· Sorry, sightings several weeks old: Cedars-Sinai doctor's office - it's crowded in the waiting room and it's a long wait to see the doctor .. but not if you're on some crappy tv show! The door opens and pregnant Nancy O'Dell arrogantly waltzes in like she owns the place. She doesn't even stop to check in, but opens the door and goes right back to her appointment. She looks worried like she's going to be deluged with autograph requests or something. Pretty pathetic. God forbid 3rd rate tv personalities have to wait like everyone else with busy important lives, and pressing medical needs.

Sunset Medical Tower - got on to elevator with another woman, and an old guy. The old guy blocked the panel of buttons so we couldn't press our floor numbers. He didn't offer to press our floors for us, so we had to work around him to press the buttons. He looked vaguely familiar, and as he got off on the 6th floor, I realized it was Warren Beatty. After he got off, the other woman rolled her eyes at his rudeness. I told her it was Warren Beatty. She said it's hard to recognize people when they've gotten so old.

· 6/12: Getting coffee in Westwood, we notice a really tall familiar looking (kinda scary) guy heading toward us. I recognized Sabretooth as he got closer, turns out Tyler Mane is 6/10" (thanks imdb, aka "The Oracle"). Lots of limos heading down the street too, so we decided to head back the other way to see what was up. Turns out it was the premiere of "1408". Couldn't get that close to the theater, but we did see Sam Jackson (no screams of "motherfucking ghosts") and my BF swears that he saw Harvey Weinstein. I told him he should go hit up Harvey and see if he could help him get out of the mailroom...

· Bill Paxton sighting! Crossing Rodeo Dr. in BH on Little Santa Monica. 9:20am, Friday 6/15. Nattily dressed in a green sport-coat and jeans, Ray-Bans. Newspaper under his arm in a professorial kind of way. Hot. No wives in tow!

· June 10th: Sat by Frankie Muniz on a plane from Portland to LAX, mostly surprised by the fact that he was not only in coach, but also stuck in a middle seat, sucks to be him. Getting off the plane I saw Adam Levine, one of the few celebrities I actually expected to have some height on me, sadly, I was wrong. Lastly, waiting outside for a ride, a rude limo driver pushed me out of the way, when I turned to scoff at him I noticed he was making way for Mr. Bob Newhart himself... glad to know he's still alive.

· Yesterday afternoon (6/12) around 6:30 or a little after I was out walking with my girl and our three dogs and we see Nicole Richie driving on Orlando heading from 3rd to Beverly with the obligatory giant bug sunglasses. Seeing as how it's a two way street she couldn't be going the wrong way, BUT she was driving on the wrong side of the road. I guess when you have a big, expensive, gas guzzling SUV you can drive how ever you want, the rest of us be damned. We didn't check to see if/which way she turned on Beverly. My girlfriend was too busy on her soapbox to care, and me being the wonderful boyfriend that I am, I kept my attention on her and nodded my head in agreement with everything she said.

· 6/12/07 - Maybe this belongs in Gawker, but Vinny Black Magic Gallo was up front in 5A on a CO flight from LAX to EWR wearing Judge Smails' hat from Caddyshack. He was two rows back so I couldn't tell the midget his hat didn't match his ubiquitous Prada boots. He actually had to wait for a bag, then out and into a cab, car service for me. Suck THAT Gallo.

· 6/14 - around 6pm, saw Tara Reid at Bay Cities Deli in Santa Monica, using the entry driveway to the parking lot as an exit. Noticeable because I normally don't have to worry about traffic coming out of their parking lot when I walk by. She stopped though, and didn't give me the typical it's-LA-get-a-car-loser look. White Porsche convertible and standard bugeye sunglasses; non-standard absence of cleavage or sideboob.

· Last Sunday (6/10) around 1pm, saw semi-celebrity Jamie Kennedy park in front of an obviously red curb on the corner next to Kings Road Cafe, stumble out of the car looking all hung over, trip on the sidewalk and then plop down across from his buddy to have some lunch/brunch.

· Fri 6/15 11am: Mr. Beerfest himself, Jay Chandrasekhar, at the West Hollywood Starbucks on Santa Monica Blvd. & Robertson, looking very out of place as the only straight guy there.

· Last night (6/12) I spotted former Jack & Bobby cutie Matt Long in the Burbank Best Buy checkout line. He totally busted me checking him out, but I couldn't help but stare as he asked the clerk to point him in the direction of the DVD display for his movie Ghost Rider. I left before I got a chance to see if he actually bought a copy or not. Boy, I sure hope not.

· 6/12 Just saw James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) driving up Beverly Glen at Sunset today at 1:30 in what looks like one of those Mustangs you rent at the airport when you come to LA and it is sunny. He was with two other people I didn't recognize.

Special Montreal Edition:

· Montreal - Formula 1 weekend (June 10)- On the way into Moishes steakhouse I noticed a guy sitting by himself at the maitre de station. Dude looked straight out of GQ (expensive suit of a bon vivant rather than a banker). I was dressed from the Kevin Smith collection and took a second look to check out the fancy threads when I noticed it was Dennis Quaid. Most guys look like a cake eater in a suit that fancy bit he pulled it off. I've switched from Team Meg to Team Cap Rooney.
I also saw the new Honda robot-child at the track. Both beat seeing Frankie Muniz tooling around in his souped up golf cart last year.

First sighting contributed by someone from Prince Edward Island!