1. Just how many girls does Britney know who have shaved their head? When asked by an overly solicitous, never-seen interviewer why she had gone to Tarzana to shave her head, Britney began what would become her usual pattern: instead of giving the obvious answer (typically, "Dude, drugs"), she uttered an even weirder non-answer. "People shave their heads every day," she explained. Yes, but women typically don't, unless they're Sinead O'Connor, or they have crash-landed on a lice-infested prison planet with an alien in tow. Instead of rebutting her, the interviewer asked, "Why didn't you tell anyone you were going to do it?" as though Brit-Brit had placed it in her appointment book five weeks prior. We think they all found out about it PDQ, homes!

2. Really? No mention of Sam Lutfi or Adnan Ghalib? The documentary effectively made constant attention from the paparazzi seem both terrifying and awful. So, you know, why did Britney date one? Alas, in this special produced by her manager, she never once uttered the names of Adnan Ghalib and her sedative-dispensing Svengali, Sam Lutfi. Even K-Fed barely rated, earning only one actual mention.

3. Where was Britney's mom, Lynne Spears? Though Britney's father figured heavily into the documentary, cooking his daughter cheese grits and patiently enduring her never-ending slams of him (while thinking, "She's my cash cow. Don't talk back!"), mama Lynne was nowhere to be seen. Was she taking care of a similarly M.I.A. Jamie Lynn, or was the special taped during her "How I Fucked Up My Kids" book tour?

4. What was up with Madonna's face? Late in the documentary, Madonna appeared to subtly woo Britney into a better, more spiritual, more Kabbalah-friendly-if-that's-what-you're-into-and-I-can-give-you-the-books way of life. Sadly, we were too distracted by the Material Girl's face, which appeared to be coated with a lower-jaw CG mist not sighted since Kim Catrall swanned her way through the Sex and the City movie.

5. Did Britney don a beret and then pronounce it "buh-rette"? As tickled as we were by what appeared to be an unwitting, on-camera homage to the famous "Ver-sayce" line from Showgirls, a second viewing reminded us that Britney was probably drawling a command to her assistant, Brett. Narrowly avoided, Spears. We'll meet again.

Yep, that's right, following a recent scrap, Paris reportedly banned Lindsay Lohan from attending any and all of her birthday parties this weekend. Bummer, especially considering that Paris managed to find room for persona non grata Sam Lutfi on her VIP list. And while no one managed to spot Paris' former flame Travis Barker at the club, the two reportedly engaged in a frenching session earlier in the week. So now that you're all caught up on Paris, please excuse us while we go take our usual post-Paris-item shower. You can never be too careful these days, you know.

• PARIS HILTON'S RAUNCHY BIRTHDAY PICS [MomPopSon]

"Mr. Lutfi drugged Britney, he has cut Britney's home phone lines and removed her cell phone chargers. He yells at her. He claims to control everything — Britney's business manager, her attorneys and the security guards at the gate."

First we shrugged this "drugging" business off, but couldn't help remembering that this isn't the first time Brit's allegedly instructed the help (and her babies!) to fetch her some meds. Back in the good ol' days of October 2007 (months before either GurneyGate 1.0 or 2.0), cameramen from X17 supposedly followed Britney's driver to a dark alley in Culver City, where they witnessed him putting down cash for the tweak-happy Package. Then X17 claimed he split and drove directly to where Britney was at the time, the Peninsula Hotel. In any case, Lufti was her manager at the time, so today's news may be sad and true.

[Photo credit: Getty Images]

• SPEARS MANAGER ACCUSED OF DRUGGING HER [Yahoo]
• LYNNE SPEARS: SAM LUFTI TOLD BRITNEY SPEARS SHE WAS AN 'UNFIT MOTHER, A PIECE OF TRASH [Us}