Here's a really titillating piece of news! Columbia Pictures is in early talks with Nicolas Cage to play the gangster villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest in the Michel Gondry-directed pic that stars Seth Rogen as the masked crime fighter. I just want to make sure that registered with you: Nicolas Cage will be emoting for us whilst wearing some kind of tight fitting costume. We're sure you're titling too. [ Variety ]

New deals are coming in on the Monetizing Childhood Nostalgia front! John Fusco has been tapped to breathe new life into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He also wrote a redo of The Seven Samurai for the Weinstein Co. His other credits include Hidalgo and Young Guns. Next up Diablo Cody's remake of a sassy outsider who wears a strawberry beanie and smells like shortcakes! [ Variety ]

Despite a fast-approaching Thursday filing deadline, the two factions within the Screen Actors Guild have continued to keep their slate of candidates for the guild's September elections under wraps. Well, one thing's clear Martin Sheen's ass better be filling one of those slate spots because I need some new material for my West Wing fan fiction livejournal! [ Variety ]

Ugh, when is someone going to give K-Fed a reality show so we can see what's up with him and Britt's kids? Oh wait! [ E! Online! ]

Remember that sad story we told you about the group of black kids who were turned away from a swim club pool because the club's owners feared they would "change the complexion of the pool"? It's ugly stuff. To make matters less ugly writer/director Tyler Perry has stepped offered to send the 65 kids from Philly on all-expenses-paid three-day trip to DisneyWorld. And that's the last nice thing I will ever say about Tyler Perry. Are you happy morning news round up? You've broken me! [ People ]

Speaking of celebs stepping in to rescue sad children: Uma! Uma Thurman is set to star in Girl Solider an indie flick about a radical cleric who helps rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. Story's based on Kathy Cook's book "Stolen Angels," which follows the 1996 raid at a boarding school, where a band of armed rebels abducted young girls to turn them into soldiers and sex slaves. So there's that. Have a great day! [ Variety ]

Teenage Wizard Movie has jumped to the $100 million mark in the worldwide box office sales. Which poses a fascinating question: Why did the producers of 500 Days of Summer choose this weekend to open? Surely Potter's box office bonanza comes as no surprise. Did they really think the mopey teens who like 'meaning music' were going to snub Potter for uh, the kid from 3rd Rock? SILLY FOOLS! [ Variety ]

Yes! A new movie named Bad Girls is being described as a cross between Lord of the Flies and Heathers. It's an adaptation of a novel. Bad Girls centers on a wild teenager shipped off to a reform school on a remote Caribbean island. On the island, she and The Others go up against violent drug dealers and killers as they battle their own worst impulses. First step: Kill the Pig! [THR]

Two men have died after a stage being built for Madonna's concert collapsed in Marseilles, France. Worst. Obits. Ever. []

Ed Helms! He does things we enjoy. Hopefully, we'll enjoy his newest movie project Cedar Rapids. Helms will play a sad-sack insurance agent who goes to an industry convention to try to save the jobs of his colleagues. Always the hero, that Helms. [ Variety ]

Kevin Smith has confirmed that Clerks and Chasing Amy will be released on Blu-Ray in November 2009 with a few new surprises. Aw! You guys remember Joey Lawrence Adams? Neither do I. [/Film]

A new painfully good looking young person has been cast in Twilight Eclipse. So, you know, Google images is probably a little strained right now! [ THR ]

Todd Phillips, writer/director of The Hangover, is has been hired by Warner Bros to write a new feature called Staycation. What's it about? We don't know but there's rightful suspicion that it will be a "male-driven-laffer." [ Vairety ]

Fox has tapped portly and lovable John Goodman to star in a new Ben Stiller-produced pilot. [Variety ]

More like solidarity for-never! The Directors union and the Writers union are beefing. Look at this Eff-Off email the head of the DGA sent to the head of SAG. "Of course, these are not normal circumstances "... you've repeatedly, and in my opinion unfraternally, attacked the negotiations and contracts of the DGA and other unions in the press and other public forums. So, in the circumstances, I'm very surprised that you would consider yourself to be in a position to convene an event that requires trust and fraternity to have any chance of success." Good luck on those negotiations, comrades! [ Variety ]

Steve Carell will star in another sadsack man comedy. This one is called Dumped and is about a man who is... dumped. [Variety] Kevin Spacey will star in and produce a new indie comedy called Father of Invention, about a crazy inventor's fall from grace and subsequent comeback. A man whose biggest credit is directing a Larry the Cable Guy movie will helm. [Variety]

O.C. and Gossip Girl blunderkind Josh Schwartz will be making his directorial film debut with an adaptation of Jay McInerney's landmark 1984 novel Bright Lights, Big City. There was a Michael J. Fox movie based on the book made about twenty years ago, but... oh well. Schwartz's Lt. Riker, Stephanie Savage, will co-produce. [Variety] Pineapple Express buddies James Franco and Danny McBride will team up again for a new comedy, also to be directed by art-house auteur turned sly comedian, David Gordon Green. It's set in medieval times. Its title? Your Highness. Sigh. [Variety]

AMC, flush with successes Mad Men and Breaking Bad, is now turning itself into a regular old TV network. By developing reality programming! They've got a show called True West in the works. No, it's not about a production of the Sam Shepard play. It's about modern-day cowboys navigating the terrain as their industry fades. Sounds like a riot. [Variety] Fox, meanwhile, has rehired Wanda Sykes to host a Saturday night talk show. It'll sort of be a panel series, like the Bill Maher show. Hmm. [Variety]

SAG and AFTRA signed off on a three year commercials contract early this morning. The agreement includes a $36 million increase in wage rates and a $21 increase in contributions toward both guilds' health plans. [THR]

Kevin Rahm, who you'd recognize from a bunch of stuff, Rob Huebel, who you'd recognize from Human Giant, and Alison Brie, who you'd recognize as Pete's wife on Mad Men, have all landed TV pilots. Sadly, none of them sound good. [THR] Veteran CNN producer Kathy O'Hearn will be teaming up with veteran correspondent Christiane Amanpour for a new half-hour news program for the network. [THR]

And The Simpsons will be immortalized in postage stamp form, the Postal Service (the government thing, not the band) announced today. They'll be unveiled next week, timed well with the series' 20th anniversary. Sheesh. [THR]

Bolstered by his Witch Mountain success, no doubt, director Andy Fickman has been tapped to helm Disney's upcoming family actioner Monster Attack Network. About a team that defends the residents of a small island in the South Pacific from frequent monster attacks, Disney is eying the picture as a major, FX-laden summertime tent pole. So, a promotion for Fickman. A demotion, probably, for the rest of us. [Variety]

Bolstered by the SNL skit "MacGruber"'s success, the unstoppable De Laurentiis clan is producing a feature film version of MacGyver, the campy 1980's series about a be-mulletted science whiz who can defuse bombs with safety pins and elbow grease. It's doubtful that original series star Richard Dean Anderson will be tapped for the big time movie, so may we suggest James Marsden? He's a square-enough actor whose rear, in the spirit of Mac's haircut, we wouldn't mind partying in. [THR]

As SAG board elections are roughly scheduled for September, folks are worried that the guild will just kinda float along through the summer, leaving their contract dispute with the AMPTP unresolved. That way various factions can pick up votes along the way, hoping to swell the tide to their causes in the fall. With the current contract already 8 months expired, a delay would push the air of uncertainty surrounding this whole potential disaster on for at least another 6 months. [THR]

Chevy Chase is set to costar in the comedy pilot Community for NBC. The series, which will also feature The Soup dreamboat Joel McHale, is set in the hilarious/depressing world of community college. Should the show be picked up, this would be Chase's first-ever regular primetime series gig. [THR] Meanwhile the Sci-Fi Channel won't be the Sci-Fi channel anymore! No, they'll now be "Syfy," a name the net hopes will appeal to a broader audience. Though, you know, they sound the same out loud. [THR]

Watchmen whiner David Hayter has joined forces with producer Benedict Carver to form Dark Heroes Studios, which will produce film, TV, and various computer projects in the Nerd Triumverate genres—action, sci-fi (sorry, syfy), and horror. Their first project is a werewolf movie starring that glowering kid from Terminator, Thomas Dekker. So. There ya go. [Variety]

The last we left the sprawling space opera that is SAG Wars, rebel leader Doug Allen had been overthrown by his own men, replaced by senior adviser John McGuire as chief negotiator. Saddest SAG Prez in the Universe Alan Rosenberg then mounted an unsuccessful legal bid to prevent the moderate mutineers from resuming talks with the evil producing overlords of the AMPTP. Over Justine Bateman's tweeted objections, new talks were set for this week. They were supposed to settle everything.

They settled nothing.

[T]he majors and the Screen Actors Guild broke off three days of talks late Thursday with the congloms issuing a take-it-or-leave-it "last, best and final" offer.

The talks fell apart over SAG's insistence that a new feature-primetime deal had to expire on June 30, 2011 - meaning that the deal would last only two years and three months.

For its part, the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers insisted that the new deal has to last a full three years. And the congloms also announced their new offer could be withdrawn in 60 days.

The deal fell apart over a matter of nine months, or the difference between beginning the contract when the last one expired (what the actors want), or starting it from right now (what the producers want). SAG's concern is that the new expiration date will put them too far away from the expiration of the new WGA and DGA contracts in 2012, which could weaken them strategically come time to negotiate again. The producers wouldn't budge, but offered to begin negotiations for their next contract (ooh fun! More negotiations!) early enough to get them back in sync with the other unions. SAG has two months to accept the offer, which seems to us a ridiculous long window, during which continued internecine fighting could reduce their membership to a bloody pile of random limbs. Perhaps that's the idea.

As always, the winner here is AFTRA, who are dominating 50 of the 70-plus broadcast pilots ordered this season—a shift that pushes the industry further into the realm of digital production. (AFTRA contracts specify actors cannot perform on film.) Warm up the Thesbot. The end is nigh.

• SAG talks break down [Variety]
• Smaller actors union takes center stage for pilots [THR]

A 10-person squad led by senior adviser John McGuire will meet with AMPTP reps a week from today, replacing twice-fired SAG national executive director Doug Allen and reigniting talks after weeks of stop-and-go litigation on Allen's behalf. Rosenberg's helpless Membership First contingent wasted no time scolding the insurrectionists in a statement, questioning McGuire's "experience, knowledge or determination" and insisting that "our actions are not arbitrary or selfish. [...] We are not just fighting for today. We are fighting to protect every actors' ability to make a middle-class living today and in the future." Neither McGuire nor his associates responded, though we're guessing he'd say something similar? Just a hunch. Developing...

• SAG talks to resume on Feb. 17 [Variety]

• SAG deal already faces opposition [Variety]

Judge James Chalfant needed one hour to rebuff Rosenberg and his curious counselor Eric George, whose original petition for a temporary restraining order halting renewed contract talks was rejected Tuesday on account of "errors" in the documentation. The only errors today were apparently legal ones the judge blew off before adjourning; George is expected to make an unprecedented, last-ditch, "But my client's life sucks" appeal in the weeks ahead.

• Judge denies Rosenberg's request [Variety]

Rosenberg revealed late Monday that he wanted to temporarily stop the union's resumed contract negotiations with the major studios, at least until he could get fired pal and Doug Allen restored to his post as chief negotiator. The downside: Rosenberg had to take his own union to court, hoping that a judge would grant his last-ditch plea for a restraining order squelching talks. What a guy.

However, the AP reports that the judge, James Chalfant, hours ago rebuffed Rosenberg after "noting several errors and ordered Rosenberg's attorneys to amend the claim." The report does not specify the aggreived president's errors, though we imagine it had something to do with its consistent pitchiness and lyrical abstraction. Another hearing is set for Thursday morning; Rosenberg will have it down by then.

• Judge blocks bid to stop SAG talks [AP]

Still wiped out in the aftermath of Doug Allen's dismissal and amid other general fractures around the union, Rosenberg yesterday invited Sharon Waxman over to his house for an interview and impromptu open-mic night. And when his repertoire of SAG-centric protest ballads ran dry, he turned inward for a candid, harrowing encore:

“My life sucks,” Rosenberg, the president of the Screen Actors Guild, acknowledged. “Here I am – my partner was fired. I’m muzzled. It’s certainly disappointing. I’ve seen all my hard work of the past three and a half years amounting to nothing. The liars and manipulators have won.” [...]

“Yeah, I’m angry,” he said. “Sad. Disappointed. The last two days I feel sort of isolated. I’m shut out from planning meetings. I feel isolated from the operations of the union.”

And that's not even counting his recent split from Marg Helgenberger, which probably has its own concept album nascently kicking around in the dark quarters of his creative mind. Here's hoping an iTunes page or — if we're really ambitious — one of those standing Largo gigs might be in the offing when he's done with this whole industry-wrecking business. We're hooked!

• 'My life sucks,' says SAG president [The Wrap]

• Rosenberg Sings the Blues [YouTube]

This is despicable. I am a National Board member, elected by 75% of the voting membership, and I DID NOT GET A SAY ON THIS.

United For Strength apparently is making good on the “qualified voting platform”.
They did not ask all the members of the National Board to vote on this written assent.
They did everything to not allow the strike authorization to be mailed out to the membership to let them have their say.
They are now making this move to make sure the membership DOES NOT have a say on the current AMPTP proposal.

Additionally, your new “negotiating task force” has virtually NO ONE familiar with the future of New Media. And that’s smart when you’re negotiating a New Media contract because….?

Woe to the membership. Woe to the membership.

Comment by Justine Bateman — January 26, 2009 @ 12:53 pm

Whoa indeed. This marks just the latest example of the former Family Ties star's shoring up of her online presence, as she's been blogging and reblogging her heart out over at Tumblr's PonyPonyShow. What would we do, baby, without her trenchant and unwavering insights into this deeply debilitating labor standoff? Sha la la la.

• SAG "National Board Majority" Tries To Oust Doug Allen And Dissolve Negotiating Committee Through Written Assent [DHD]

As outlined in a National Board press release, representatives delivered a “written assent” document this morning to SAG HQ, which authorized Allen's removal— to be replaced by former SAG General Counsel David White and Guild Senior Advisor John T. McGuire as Chief Negotiator of all SAG contracts.

Variety now reports that Allen notified SAG staff today of his departure in an e-mail. This comes two weeks after a similar coup was attempted during a marathon, 30-hour meeting, when the vote was repeatedly blocked by SAG president Alan Rosenberg. Upon learning of Allen's ouster, Rosenberg told Variety today: "This is the darkest day within my memory. It kills democracy at SAG."

Alas, the miraculous oil has finally run dry on the Yeanukkah menorah. And who are these masked freedom fighters of the National Board? Mainly the Unite For Strength gang, as we understand it. We just knew this ruthless stratagem was giving off the faintest whiff of Shaloub.

• Doug Allen steps down from SAG [Variety]

The Indian magic-realism-by-way-of-game-show-immortality yarn claimed only one prize Sunday night at the Shrine, but that Best Ensemble hardware was all it really needed to affirm its awards-season supremacy over Oscar also-rans Benjamin Button, Milk (for which Sean Penn nevertheless won Best Actor) and Frost/Nixon. Meryl Streep won Best Actress for Doubt, further entrenching her in a three-way Oscar-night race alongside Anne Hathaway and Kate Winslet — the latter of whose Reader performance netted Best Supporting Actress from guild voters. Heath Ledger was chosen Best Supporting Actor. Again.

More foregone conclusions populated the TV side: Mad Men for drama, 30 Rock for comedy and John Adams for movie, preceded by Ernest Borgnine's adorable presentation of Best Actress to Laura Linney for her stunning work as "Abigail James." Somebody get this man an Oscars presenting berth; we really do need all the nonagenarian surprises we can muster at this point.

• And the SAG Award winners are... [Variety]

· It's a dense read, but in a nutshell: SAG sent along a helpful open letter advising indie producers they are not totally fucked if they sell their waiver-aided film to a major studio or its specialty division. Let the gross overspending begin!

· Speaking of which, Movie City News has its own Vegas-style odds on Sundance's likeliest sellers. Currently Brooklyn's Finest and I Love You Phillip Morris share 2:1 odds; our favorite bidding-war candidates Cold Souls and the guaranteed world-shocker Bronson aren't even listed, so you know, grain of salt, etc.

· In a bit of a self-imposed film-criticism hiatus following her distinguished Listy Award triumph, EW critic Lisa Schwarzbaum is adapting well to Sundance's environmental-reporting beat.

· When Sundance Hype Goes Right, Vol. XVI: The Guardian's Danny Leigh strolls down memory lane with fest legend Richard Linklater: "Linklater, for all his missteps, is a godsend. No, scratch that - because of his missteps, Linklater is a godsend. His work since Slacker has not delivered anything like a consistent vein of greatness, but a ragbag of genres as wilfully random as any film-maker anywhere."

· When Sundance Hype Goes Wrong, Vol. MCLXXXIV: If you don't think The Greatest is in fact the greatest, fest director Geoff Gilmore would like a word with you.

· Can't join us in Park City? Here's your consolation prize: 10 downloadable short films on iTunes. You can thank us later.

The NYT today posits the outside likelihood of that doomsday situation, in which studios and their art-house affiliates are forbidden from distributing Sundance selections that were cast and produced after securing guild waivers. The waivers were supposed to allow indie producers to enlist SAG talent in the absence of a new contract with the studios; now, with no contract yet signed and none in sight, they potentially prohibit the likes of Fox Searchlight, Focus Features, Miramax, Sony Classics and other mini-majors from distributing — and perhaps even purchasing — their multi-million-dollar prizes.

Again, it's a worst-case scenario. Not likely. In other words: Don't get your hopes up, Harvey.

• A Sundance Chill [Carpetbagger]

Not so, argue SAG reps via henchwoman Nikki Finke, who insists that no vote has yet been cast to remove Allen from the guild's flailing negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. Merely a technicality, according to Variety; the board's moderates reportedly have the votes — and moreover the inclination — to pass a resolution nudging Allen, SAG's national executive director, out of contract talks and effectively ending the militant wing's hopes to call for a strike authorization this week. Worsening matters for that Membership First minority, it was one of their own, Seymour Cassel, who broke the news of Allen's ouster to the trades.

His replacement? Your guess is as good as ours; Tom O'Neil seems an enthusiastic, actor-friendly fence-mender with little to do these days. Suggestions?

• SAG's Doug Allen out as negotiator [Variety]

• http://www.link.com">No Vote Yet To Oust SAG's Doug Allen [DHD]

The moderates among SAG leadership — "mostly those repping New York and the regional branches," notes Variety — were already irritated having to attend today's meeting in person, during which the union's negotiating committee expects to determine the fates of the Jan. 14 vote and national executive director Doug Allen. And neither looks good — not with the economy tanking, popular sentiment against a strike and last week's fantastic inside smear campaign against anti-strike SAG Award nominees including Josh Brolin, Steve Carell, Susan Sarandon, Kevin Spacey and Alec Baldwin.

SAG president Alan Rosenberg half-heartedly condemned the blacklist, which was distributed by way of an anonymous e-mail traced back to national board member Frances Fisher:

"If I were a regular, ordinary, not-rich-and-famous actor, and if I wanted my union to be strong so it could fight for me ... would I want to give any of these rich-and-famous union-underminers my vote? [...] Would I want my union to give them such an honor — my union's ultimate stamp-of-approval? I would remember those names when I began to mark my ballot."

What? And lose a precious potential opportunity for another Josh Brolin speech before awards season ends? Fools.

• SAG considers ending strike threat [Variety]

• SAG leaders in emergency meeting [Variety]